Page 12 of Single Greatest Threat (Atlantic City’s Most Wanted #6)
Joesph had no idea who the message was from. He was too hurt and angry to care. Why in the hell was everyone calling him a cripple today? Like, what the fuck? He almost would prefer if they called him the F slur. Goddamn. His chest hurt.
Dodge touched his arm. “Are you okay?”
Joesph tried for a smile. Dodge had the sweetest eyes.
They almost broke Joesph. It was obvious he cared, and goddamn it.
Shaw was above him and he would have to take care of Joesph.
He shouldn’t have agreed to this marriage.
Joesph didn’t want to ruin Shaw’s life. With his brain numb, he simply handed the iPad to Dodge.
“It’s Shaw’s.” That was all he could say.
Dodge’s expression snapped closed. He passed the iPad back. “Don’t worry about that person. It’s only how Shaw reacts that should matter to you. Seriously. People hit on me all the time. It would crush me if Salem or Quest blamed me for it. Just hold out and see what he says.”
Joesph quickly checked over his shoulder. Shaw’s dad was gone and Shaw looked at his phone. The angry scowl he had taken on while dealing with his father was still in place. He watched Shaw type.
Joesph’s gaze immediately dropped to the iPad as Shaw’s message came through.
“Get fucked. Don’t contact me again.”
Joesph bit his bottom lip. This time would be different. He believed in them.
Shaw appeared over his shoulder. “Is it okay if we eat with you? Dad will be less likely to interrupt again with an audience.”
Everyone immediately rearranged their chairs to make room.
As soon as Shaw was settled, he draped his arm across the back of Joesph’s chair. “Did Joesph tell you the good news?”
Joesph’s face hurt from smiling. He prayed he wasn’t wrong. If Shaw woke up one day and resented him, it would kill Joesph. Right now, though, he was the happiest man alive. He couldn’t picture a day without Shaw.
It had been a full damn day, and it wasn’t even two yet.
After lunch, they drove from building to building, checking out possible office spaces with their realtor.
Joesph kept swapping between happy and looking lost in thought.
Those thoughts looked sad, and Shaw felt a little sick.
Dealing with his dad had mentally drained him.
He couldn’t deal with anything else bad today.
After their fourth location, Shaw couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled Joesph aside. “What’s wrong? Are you regretting me?”
Joesph’s face screwed up in confusion. “Of course not. Why would you ask that?”
Shaw didn’t know how to explain. He made a wild motion. “You just keep getting this look about you and I can’t figure out what I’ve done wrong.”
“I’m sorry, baby.” He stroked Shaw’s arm. “It’s not you.” Joesph hesitated. “Have you considered that you might end up caring for me full time one of these days?”
Fuck. He had seen that message. Shaw had hoped Joesph had been too busy talking to Dodge that he missed it.
Shaw went down on his haunches and held Joesph’s stare.
“Have you considered you might have to take care of me full time someday? I could have a stroke. A heart attack. Anything. You know life doesn’t give a fuck how healthy you are.
Anyone can get stricken down at any moment.
I want to grow old with you. Do you know what that entails? Growing old.”
Joesph looked serious as he held on to every word. “There’s nothing that could happen to you that I wouldn’t be there with you for every step. I love you.”
Shaw gave him a sharp nod. “Exactly. That’s how I feel too. I’m not being rash. This isn’t me blindly rushing in. You’ve been the biggest part of me for years. Long before this wheelchair, you were mine. You’ll still be mine, no matter what happens from here. I need you to know that.”
Joesph nodded.
Shaw straightened. “Now, have you liked a single one of these office spaces?”
A smile exploded across Joesph’s face. “No. Am I being too picky?”
Shaw glanced around. “No. There’s just something…” He turned in a circle. “Maybe we should be looking at houses instead. We can find a place that has a home office. There’s no one we represent I wouldn’t let come to our house.”
When he focused on Joesph again, Joesph wore a huge smile. “You really want to buy a house together?”
Sometimes Joesph confused the fuck out him. “We’re getting married. You know that means we share everything now, right?”
Joesph laughed. “I know. It just feels so real when you talk about our house.”
“It is real.” He didn’t know what Joesph wasn’t getting about this. Shaw had chosen them. He had finally figured out why he was miserable, and now he wouldn’t let go.
“It’ll have to be wheelchair friendly.”
“Of course. Matt gave me like twenty office buildings to look at with the crazy parameters I gave him for offices. I’m sure he won’t have any trouble switching to houses. There’s probably way more of those.”
“I love you so fucking much. You know that, right? I’d choose you every time or there’d be no one.”
Shaw’s throat swelled. After his father’s anger and feeling like his dad chose a woman over him, Joesph had no idea how badly Shaw needed to hear he would be first. “You know I’m not like him, right?
” Even Shaw heard the way his voice cracked.
He cleared his throat. “I know I’ve fucked up a lot and I haven’t given you much reason to believe in me, but I’d always choose you too. ”
“I believe in you. You never would’ve dared breathe a word about marriage if you weren’t dead serious. That’s who you are. You’re unapologetically honest.”
Shaw nodded. His throat felt a little tight.
Joesph had only talked about the way Shaw told things like they were, which wasn’t always a good trait.
It was obvious Shaw was failing at showing he loved Joesph too much to hurt him.
It got a little harder to breathe. He wasn’t sure why.
Shaw sort of needed to sit down and put his head between his knees.
Joesph’s expression changed. He quickly kicked up the foot rests on his chair and used his cane to stand. “What’s wrong?”
Shaw tried to take a breath, and nothing happened.
Joesph pulled him toward his wheelchair. “Sit. I’m calling nine one one.”
Shaw wanted to ask him not to do that. He definitely wanted to refuse to take Joesph’s chair.
Joesph couldn’t stand for long and it was Shaw’s job to take care of him.
But everything went a little dark around the edges and Shaw couldn’t draw a deep enough breath to say a thing.
He couldn’t pass out on Joesph. Joesph needed him.
In a distant sort of way, he heard Joesph talking, but nothing made sense.
It was like no oxygen reached his brain.
A terrifying thought hit. Maybe that unexpected heart attack came sooner than he thought.
Damn. He really didn’t want to leave this world without Joesph as his husband where he would be protected by Shaw’s money. It seemed Shaw was doomed to fail him.