Page 74 of Sinful Vows
“You married me.Twice,” I rasp. “Knowing who I am. Knowing what I stand for.”
A long, pained groan vibrates along his chest.
“I can keep the secret, if you want, and you can go on believing the world is made up of rainbows and unicorn farts and that little girls are never hurt. Or I can tell you everything I intend to do, every step of the way, and promise to come home to you at the end of it all. What Iwon’tdo, is let you convince me to ignore the cries of the babies who should be safe.”
“Please…” His voice breaks, raw and desperate. “Please don’t do this to us.”
“Please don’t become just another adult choosing to fail the innocent.” I drop back onto flat feet and swallow the taste of dread. Of heartache. Of fear—fear of losingus. “Don’t ask me to sit in this pretty house and live this perfect existence when there are starving children forced to sleep in their own filth, terrified that their tomorrow will be so much worse than the hell they’re already in today. I can’t be that person.”
“You’re not giving me reasonable options. You’re backing me into a corner and demanding I chooseshitorworse shit.”
“Maybe I’m asking you to reconsider the person you married.” I take his hand between mine and twine our fingers. “Maybe you chose wrong. You wantedyouridea of a wife, thinking I ticked most of the boxes, and the few I didn’t, you probably thought could be figured out later. But the honeymoon period wore off, and this…I…” I exhale a shaking, shuddering breath. “This is what you’re left with.”
“What?”
“It’s okay to stop in the middle of a busy, fast-paced life and realize you want something different.” I take a step back and release his hand,shattering my own heart and chipping at my resolve. “It’s a new year, and this is a new house. Your family is here, and that’s changing, too, now that Christabelle and Zora are a part of it. Tiia. Even Aubree.” I draw a long breath, filling my lungs and expanding my chest. “This thing I have with Soph… It’s not something I dooften, so it’s not something at the forefront of your mind. But now it’s here, flashing in front of our faces. It’s okay to take some time and rethink what’s right for you.”
I clamp my lips shut and take a second step. Because if I don’t, I might lose my battle with the panic rising in my throat. With the horrifying fear of what I’ve just tossed at our feet.
An ultimatum.
God, I’m such an idiot.
“Think about it.” I clasp my hands together, trying to hide the way they tremble, while in the otherwise silence, my phone dings with an incoming text. “Think about what you want,” I sniffle. “And then try to decide if I’m the woman who can be that for you.”
Another text.
“I love you.” Dammit. Tears flood my eyes and threaten to spill onto my cheeks. “With every fiber of my heart and soul. But I lose both if I ignore those girls when they’re crying for help.”
He takes a step forward. “Minka?—”
“I know what vows I made when I married you. I stand by them. But if you need time to think about what yours meant, I’m okay with that.”
Not really.
“Call me when you decide.”
I pivot on my heels and stride away, past Felix, and away from a horrified Cato. A confused Mia. An emotionless Tim and Aubree… Aubree.
She knows how this will end. She knows everything, and I’m far too cowardly to ask. So I drop my head and stalk back into the house. Out of the heat and into the cool. I could escape upstairs and run a bath. Or I could continue out the front door and go back to my life in an apartment at the top of a four-floor walkup.
It’s up to Archer. All of it.
My phone dings a third time, and with it, the first tear overflows and trickles down my cheek. Choking on my breath, I drag the device from my pocket and unlock the screen as I walk, then I scoop up my bag and swing the front door open, only to be hit with the fiery afternoon sun and a vision of black SUVs rolling into the driveway. Steve, Mary, Micah, and more.
Harrison glances across, neutral at first, only for his eyes to widen. “Chief. You’re heading out again?”
“Yeah.” I stop in front of him and present my hand, palm side up. “I don’t need a driver. Just the keys.”
“Ma’am—”
“Now.” I snatch them from his fingers and blindly skirt his broad frame, a sea of tears blurring my vision and sizzling against my skin. I press the unlock button on the key fob and search, search, search for whichever car’s lights flash, then I dash toward it before Steve’s crowd can pull up and ask questions. Swinging the door wide and sliding into the driver’s seat, I start the engine and peel away from the house, kicking up dust under my spinning wheels and ignoring the Malone who stands at the front door.
Just like he did this morning. His arms folded, his jaw tight. His fury pointed straight at me.
“Dammit!” I slam my fist against the steering wheel and swipe the tears from my eyes. The hard glass vial in my pocket digs against my thigh, useless without the powder… my needles… my tourniquet.Completely friggin’ useless.I ignore the eyes clinging to the side of my face and bring the car from the driveway to the road, skidding until the wheels find traction, then I start back down the hill. Back to the life I lived before Archer. Back to the world I consideredgood enough, before I knew what it was to want something more. My phone trills again, this time with a call, not a text. And like she has some kind of magical control over a device thousands of miles away, I don’t even have the option to decline. Because Soph answers for me.
“Hey. I know you got my texts. What are you doing?”