Page 18 of Since You Came Along (Ever Since #1)
‘Ever since I was a kid, I had this dream of an evening wedding. A traditional ceremony first, and later, a small, intimate wedding with my friends. One wedding with my blood family and one with my bond family. Siya would be my maid of honour, and Swayam would walk me down the aisle. My husband and I would exchange rings and vows, promising to bind our lives together forever.’
Raghav could see the beautiful image her words formed in his mind. Her smile in that moment was genuine, but it didn’t last.
Her expression darkened as she continued. ‘I made the mistake of telling Rutvik about it. He laughed at it. I can still hear that mocking laughter. It broke my heart. Later, he told me Ahana found it even funnier than he did.’
Anger bubbled inside him, but he forced his voice to remain calm. ‘She sounds like a horrible person,’ he said.
Meera shook her head, and said, ‘I think that was her way of coping. Rutvik told me once she had a rough family life. People channel their pain in different ways. She loved Rutvik too, so I guess it made sense for her to hate me.’
If Meera should blame anyone, it was Rutvik, but she blamed herself. If she hadn’t put up with it all, she could have saved herself from the pain and heartbreak.
‘Your dream wedding sounds beautiful,’ Raghav said, hoping to shift her focus to something brighter.
Meera pursed her lips and sighed. ‘That was the dream of a na?ve girl, Raghav. A girl who believed in love and thought it lasted forever. I’m not that girl anymore.’
The resignation in her words pierced him. He wanted to say something to reassure her. He asked her then, ‘Do you think you’ll ever get past all this?’
It took her a minute to respond. ‘I don’t know.’
When she asked him the same question, he thought about it.
His throat felt dry, but he forced himself to respond.
‘I don’t know either. A long time ago, Nica and I had agreed to get a tattoo of each other’s names.
I’ve wanted to do it for years, but I don’t have the courage. It feels like admitting she’s gone.’
Meera leaned in, her touch warm and steady. ‘May I suggest something?’
Her kindness, despite everything she’d been through, left him in awe. ‘Of course. Anything,’ he said.
‘Don’t get that tattoo now. Take your time. The day you know for certain that you’ve moved on, that you are ready to lay your past to rest for good, get it then. Let it be a testament to your love for her and a way to honour her memory.’
Her words struck a chord deep within him. Raghav said earnestly, ‘That is one of the best suggestions I’ve ever received.’
She wrapped her arms around him, and he held her close. In that moment, they were two broken souls, finding fragments of solace in each other.
The next morning, Raghav woke up before Meera. They had stayed up late into the night, and he knew Meera had only drifted off in the early hours. He didn’t want to disturb her, so he silently slid off the bed. Though he’d had a few hours of sleep, he felt energised.
The revelation and insight into her past lingered in his mind, deepening his admiration for her. There was a strength in her, tempered by kindness, that he found inspiring. With those thoughts swirling in his mind, he changed into his running gear and stepped out for a jog.
The early morning air carried a hint of rain. As he stretched and began his run, something tugged at him, a persistent thought he couldn’t shake. He needed to pay his respects.
Fifteen minutes later, Raghav stood at the rusted iron gates of the cemetery where Veronica was buried. A hushed stillness cloaked the place. He made his way in and the dry leaves rustled under his shoes. He couldn’t get any flowers this early, so he plucked a few from the garden on the pavement.
The last time he came here was the day he shifted to Mumbai. This was the city where he had lost his love and for that reason alone, he could never love it.
Raghav knelt in front of her grave, its marble surface cool to the touch as his fingers traced her engraved name. He laid the flowers there and sat down on the ground.
He had a lot to tell her so he began, ‘Hey, Nica baby.’
A soft breeze brushed against his cheek, almost like a greeting. ‘I miss you. But I suppose you already know that,’ he said with a quiet laugh. She’d had an uncanny knack for reading him. She always knew how he felt before he ever said a word.
His thoughts drifted to Meera, and he talked about her. ‘She’s amazing, Nica. What she’s been through would have broken most people. She doesn’t let her emotions show, but beneath it all, she’s still so kind, so warm.’
His lips quirked into a small smile as he said, ‘She has spoiled us. Abhay and Luv are crazy about her food. You have no idea how many times I’ve had to punch Luv for joking about stealing her away from me.’
Since there was no one here, he admitted, ‘It makes me feel... jealous sometimes. I don’t know why. She has never known love, not like we did. It breaks my heart a little.’
He could still see Meera’s sombre expression when she admitted to loving Rutvik despite knowing he hadn’t loved her. It made him so sad to think that she had stayed with him, hoping he would love her someday.
Raghav shook his head and looked down at the grave. ‘Thank you, Nica. Thank you for loving me like you did. You never made me feel less. Meera went through so much more than anyone should. It amazes me she still found a way to hold herself together.’
He paused, his voice softening. ‘I’m lucky to have her. She’s the most understanding, supportive partner I could’ve asked for. I know you’d tell me to buck up. To remember that relationships need effort from both sides.’
‘I’ll make her happy,’ he said, his voice firm with conviction. ‘I can’t give her my love, but I’ll give her everything else I can.’
As he rose to his feet, a sudden gust of wind ruffled his hair, and he couldn’t help but feel as though Nica were urging him forward. With a lingering glance at the grave, he turned and walked back home.