Page 41 of Sin (Salvation #1)

Sin

“You love me?”

Cassidy looks shocked at the words that just flew out of his mouth. Maybe he regrets them ? But then his shoulders square and his eyes shine with an emotion that I’ve seen looking back at me for years, but this time it’s intensified and unbelievably vibrant. He nods. “Yes. Yes, I do.”

Even though I see the proof right in front of me, I can’t help asking, “Are you sure?”

He laughs. “I’ve been in love with you for years. Since I was fifteen.”

“That was hormones,” I say. You were experiencing your first crush.”

“That’s what I told myself back then. I was too young. I didn’t understand it. My emotions were so strong and overpowering, and our situation was— complicated.”

I laugh bitterly at Cassidy’s polite terminology. “By complicated, you mean when I was cruel to you. All the times I intentionally hurt you.”

“Yes,” Cassidy says, unable to deny it.

I release the hold I’ve had on him since we came into the library, and take several steps back. “You shouldn’t love a man who mistreats you, Cassidy,” I tell him. “You deserve better than that.”

“Don’t do that,” he says, his eyes flashing. “Don’t tell me what I get to feel for you. I’m eighteen years old, and in most ways, I’ve been on my own since I was twelve years old. I’m fully capable of owning what I feel for you.”

He advances on me, erasing the distance I’d put between us. “We both know now why you treated me so badly. So don’t use it as an excuse for rejecting me. If you can’t return my love, then just tell me that.”

Can I return his love? Love? The word has little meaning in my experience.

Love? I’d always thought it was a fairytale or one of the bedtime stories one of my early nannies would read to me before my father fired her for coddling me.

Love . I certainly never thought I could ever deserve to be loved by anyone.

Especially someone like Cassidy.

The word is too big. Too scary, but if Cassidy loves me, he deserves to have me love him back. Can the bad son of a bad man really love Cassidy the way he deserves?

Could I?

Desire him? With every molecule of my being. Protect him? Of course, I’d die before letting someone hurt him. Be possessive of him? Hell yeah! No one better get too close to him. Be obsessed with him? Since the first time I saw him.

But love him? This tenderness he brings out in me, my primal need for him to be safe and happy—is that love?

“Fuck.” I say. I love Cassidy. Once the word ricochets through me, I know it to be true. I’ve loved him in one way or another since the first time I saw him when he was fifteen.

And if I can love him, that means I can let him love me back.

“Tell me again,” I prompt him. “Tell me you love me.”

He tilts his head at me quizzically, but leans in, and right before his lips touch mine, he whispers, “I love you.”

A thrill goes through me like I’ve taken on the biggest, scariest adventure jump I’ve ever been on.

Our lips come together, and the experience is life-changing.

This kiss is at a spectral level. Cassidy is holding nothing back, and I’m not either.

Tears come to my eyes that a man like me can have this.

That Cassidy has given me the gift of his love.

Nothing is more valuable than that, and the boy I’m holding in my arms.

Realization hits me, and I pull back from him. “Pack your things,” I tell him. “I want you ready to leave in fifteen minutes.”

He looks stricken. “You’re making me leave?”

“No, we’re both leaving. Pack anything important to you and leave the rest. I’ll explain everything when we get to where we’re going.”

Cassidy hesitates. I know he wants a full set of answers, but I’m desperate to do this now. “Please, Cassidy,” I hug him to me and pull back before desire for more distracts me. “Do this for me.”

It takes me five minutes to clear my room. I grab my electronic devices, a framed picture of my mother, and some clothes to last me a few days. I spend the rest of the time helping Cassidy pack. Used to traveling light, he’s mainly concerned with stuffing all his books in a box I find for him.

As I usher him out the door and into my Land Rover, it strikes me how, after living in this house my whole life, I have so little of real value that it all fits in a backpack.

I lean over to fasten Cassidy’s safety belt and realize I’m mistaken.

I’m leaving with the most valuable item that was ever in this house, and I’m never going to let him go.