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CHAPTER TWELVE

Secrets and Lies

The wonderful and terrible thing about a horse of smoke and shadow is that it will keep running until you tell it to stop. It never tires, never hungers or thirsts.

But when minutes or hours (it was difficult to tell) had passed and the thrill of escape had softened into dull relief and Morrigan had grown dizzy from zooming through blurred landscapes, she kicked her heels into its flank and said, ‘Home.’

Windswept, dazed, and weary to her bones, she had no idea what time it was when she dismounted in the forecourt of the Hotel Deucalion, but it was already dark. Morrigan watched the horse gallop away, melting into distant shadows, and as she turned to trudge up the steps to the brightly lit lobby, the memory of how she’d come to be there melted into the shadows, too.

‘Have you seen Jupiter?’ she asked Kedgeree, at the busy concierge desk.

‘Man’s been gone all day and we’ve had three stag parties, a wedding and a witchery conference all checking in. Would’ve been nice to have the extra pair of hands, I’ll tell you that much for free,’ he grumbled, though he didn’t really seem cross. Good-natured Kedgeree was never really cross.

‘If you see him—’

‘I’ll let him know you’re looking,’ he promised. Then, correctly guessing where she was heading, he added, ‘Schedule’s about to change over. It’s one of your favourites tonight.’

Morrigan dinged the concierge bell out of habit and wandered upstairs to the Smoking Parlour, arriving just as the rainbow-speckled scented clouds (‘ Fairy Bread’, according to the schedule on the door, ‘ for an afternoon sugar rush’) changed to pale yellow (‘ Popcorn: to invoke a calming childhood nostalgia’). Picking a cautious path through the furniture amid the salty-buttery haze, she made her way to her favourite hiding spot, a high-backed armchair facing the corner window. As soon as she was safely cocooned, the enormity of the day’s events came crashing down on her all at once.

Morrigan had left the Silver District without a second thought. Miss Cheery would be so worried.

Holliday would be furious. The Elders would be furious. The Darlings, left to deal with the splintered remains of their once-elegant Receiving Room, would surely be the most furious of all.

‘ I’m furious,’ Morrigan said quietly. And she knew she had a right to be. But annoyingly, it wasn’t the kind of fury that made her want to throw things and stomp her feet and scream at the top of her lungs. It was the kind she hated, that made her want to shove her face into a cushion and cry with frustration. That’s precisely what she was about to do when she heard raised voices from the hallway.

‘… kept in the dark because you knew I would object to it unreservedly, and don’t try to deny that. This is an UNFORGIVABLE breach, Holliday, and your department will face consequences this time.’

‘We were doing our jobs, for goodness’ sake, and as a matter of fact—’

The door to the Smoking Parlour flew open with a bang, and suddenly the argument was inside the room.

‘—the Elders not only agreed, they insisted on it.’

‘And there’ll be consequences for them too!’ Jupiter roared.

Holliday stayed calm. ‘Easy, tiger. Try to remember you’re talking about the High Council of Elders.’

‘I am talking about a child being used like a chess piece .’ He ground the words out between his teeth.

‘EVERYONE OUT!’ shouted a third familiar voice. ‘Smoking Parlour’s closed.’

Morrigan poked her head out from behind the armchair to see Fenestra the Magnificat physically removing every guest from the room – literally pawing people out of chairs and nudging them towards the door with her gigantic fluffy head, before shutting it in their outraged faces. It was the sort of behaviour Jupiter would have disapproved of on a normal day, but now he simply let her get on with it and made a beeline for Morrigan’s favourite spot.

‘Mog?’ he called, wafting away the popcorn smoke so he could see better. ‘ There you are! Thank goodness!’

‘How did you disappear like that?’ Holliday asked her. ‘One second you were there and then – poof . Gone. Marina just about had a heart attack.’

‘I … don’t know. Something Wundersmithy, I guess.’ There was something in the periphery of Morrigan’s mind that instinctively wanted to tiptoe past any questions about her disappearance. Everything that had happened after she destroyed that beautiful rose-scented room was a blur. ‘I just sort of … panicked. And then I was here.’

Fen and Jupiter exchanged a curious glance.

Morrigan barrelled ahead. ‘I didn’t mean to ruin everything. It was an accident, I—’

The publicist waved a hand to stop her. ‘We’re sending in a clean-up crew, they’ll put everything back the way it was.’

‘I don’t just mean the house.’

‘I know.’ She sighed. ‘My department is drafting an apology letter to the Darlings for you to sign.’

‘And who’s going to write your apology letter, Holliday?’ Jupiter asked.

‘Oh, I’ve apologised to them already. A LOT. Who do you think was left behind to make excuses? I explained that Morrigan had only learned about them today and was probably still processing, but—’

‘He meant to Morrigan,’ snarled Fen.

Holliday groaned. ‘Oh, for goodness’ sake! I did this for Morrigan. Were you not at the same Black Parade that I was at? Did you not see a city full of people ready to shout her out of town for being a Wundersmith?’

‘I saw a small group of idiots—’

‘Yes, and small groups of idiots have this funny little thing they do where they become BIG groups of idiots,’ she said, ‘ much faster than you can imagine. We have to rewrite the story – show Morrigan in a different light. The Concerned Citizens of Nevermoor won’t be able to keep bleating about sending her back to the Republic, because the fact is, Morrigan isn’t from the Republic. She’s a true Nevermoorian. Better than that, she’s from the Silver District!’

‘Why is that better?’ Morrigan asked.

Holliday made an amused, slightly impatient sound. ‘Because the old families of the Silver District are enormously influential in almost every mundane sphere of Nevermoorian life – legal, political, financial. Dragonsport. The arts. They’re all over the society pages, week after week. People can’t get enough of them. People respect them.’

‘People respect their money,’ Fen said cynically.

‘Yeah, they do,’ agreed Holliday. ‘And if Morrigan’s connection to the Grand Old House of Darling shuts down this ridiculous conversation about whether she has a right to be here, if it humanises her in the eyes of her detractors even slightly , I don’t think any of us will care whether it’s the Darlings’ money that people really respect. Do you?’

Fen’s lip curled above her fangs, but she didn’t respond.

‘It shouldn’t matter where she’s from, or who her maternal relatives are!’ Jupiter insisted. ‘Morrigan’s a Nevermoorian because she’s here, living in this city, making up its fabric, like you and me and everyone else.’

‘I. Agree. With. You.’ Holliday collapsed into an armchair, pressing her hands over her eyes in frustration. ‘But unfortunately my job isn’t to shrug and say it shouldn’t matter. My job is to acknowledge that it does matter to some people, and to find ways to head off the trouble those people could cause for Morrigan and for us in the Society.’ She looked up and pointed at Jupiter. ‘So if you could stop treating me like the enemy … And Morrigan, if you could try not to destroy any more stately homes … that would make my job at least fifty per cent easier. Ta very much.’

‘I didn’t do it deliberately,’ Morrigan muttered.

‘Of course not, Mog. This isn’t your fault.’ Jupiter looked at her fixedly. ‘What did they do to upset you? What did they say?’

Morrigan swallowed. How could she answer that? They welcomed me home to Nevermoor? My grandmother looked at me funny? I can’t explain it, guess you just had to be there?

She cleared her throat, feeling suddenly quite clammy, but was spared by a knock on the door. It swung open, and a tall woman in an elegant blue travelling cloak stepped inside.

‘Lady Margot?’ Holliday scrambled to her feet, eyes wide. Morrigan instantly felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Jupiter beside her.

‘Please forgive my intrusion,’ said Lady Margot, coughing slightly as she waved the popcorn clouds out of her face with a delicate gloved hand. Her eyes landed on Morrigan and she gave a warm, almost apologetic smile. ‘Morrigan … I know this is extraordinarily forward of me. I only … well, I feel rather embarrassed by how I handled our meeting this afternoon.’

Morrigan frowned. She hadn’t been expecting that.

Lady Margot paused, seeming to measure her words. ‘Growing up in the Silver District gives one a deep-rooted sense of propriety above all else. I was taught from a young age how to make polite conversation about the weather, but frank and meaningful heart-to-hearts were never on the curriculum. And that’s what we should have had, Morrigan, the moment we met. The truth is, I was afraid that if I said too much, too soon, it might frighten you away, and that was the last thing I wanted.

‘I know now that I vastly underestimated your resilience and intelligence,’ she continued, taking a careful step closer, ‘and if you’ll give me a second chance, I’d like to speak more openly with you, dear. Will you allow it?’

Morrigan didn’t know what to say. She really hadn’t been expecting this. She nodded, and her aunt went on.

‘When my younger sister – your mother, Meredith – fled Nevermoor into the Wintersea Republic, we lost all contact with her. Our mother and late father, may he rest in peace, were frantic with worry. They tried everything to find Merry and bring her home, even hiring private investigators to track her down. But scant details could be procured through the Free State’s tight borders, and it was only when we learned she’d married a man called Corvus Crow and joined …’ – Lady Margot choked a little on her words, her eyes welling with tears – ‘… joined the Wintersea Party … that Mama and Papa finally accepted she was lost to us.’

Morrigan felt her stomach drop. Her mother had run away to the Republic? And joined the Wintersea Party ? She shook her head, feeling the strangest flash of déjà vu.

‘But isn’t that …’

‘Treason,’ whispered Lady Margot. ‘You must understand, Morrigan, your mother wasn’t a bad person. She was young and foolish, and I believe she fell under the influence of ill-meaning people who took advantage of her trusting nature.

‘But the shame of it nearly tore our family apart. My father fell ill almost immediately, and we lost him only months later.’ She wiped a tear from her cheek. ‘After his funeral, Mama refused to speak about her at all. It was as if Merry had never existed …’

Lady Margot trailed off with a small sniffle, pulling a lace handkerchief from her purse and dabbing at her nose before continuing.

‘We received an anonymous letter ten years ago telling us that Meredith had died three years earlier, but the letter said nothing of the circumstances of her death, and my mother refused to inquire any further. I know that might seem strange or cold to you. But I knew she was trying to protect herself from more heartbreak.’

Jupiter cleared his throat to speak, but Lady Margot hadn’t finished.

‘What you must know, Morrigan,’ she went on in a rush, stepping closer to her and speaking in a clear, deliberate way, ‘is that, until recently, we had no idea that Meredith had a child. Then I saw you in the newspaper. It seemed too strange a coincidence to be possible. A thirteen-year-old girl with the name Crow, allegedly smuggled into Nevermoor from the Republic? I couldn’t shake the idea from my mind that we were connected somehow.

‘You asked me today if we knew that you existed, or that you were in Nevermoor.’ Lady Margot glanced up briefly at Jupiter, then reached out hesitantly to take Morrigan’s hand in her own. ‘And I want to be sure that you and your companions understand: we didn’t know about you at all.’

Morrigan felt Jupiter shift suddenly beside her as if he wanted to say something, but before she could turn to look at him Lady Margot grasped her shoulders and spoke with a firm, quiet desperation.

‘My biggest regret is that I never had the chance to take you away from that wretched place myself. But we have our lives stretching ahead of us, dearest girl, and I want so much to be in yours, if you’ll allow it. And of course, with the permission of your guardian, who I’m certain has only your ultimate happiness and well-being at heart.’

Lady Margot nodded up at Jupiter then, and Morrigan was surprised by his sudden inclusion in the conversation. She thought perhaps it took him by surprise too, because she looked up to see that his face was a storm of emotion. He recovered in the space of a microsecond and gave Morrigan a nod and an encouraging smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

‘Oh, and you don’t need to answer this now, dear,’ said Lady Margot, standing up to leave, ‘but this weekend my youngest sister is marrying her childhood sweetheart, and we’d be overjoyed if you would do us the honour of attending. Your Aunt Modestine was only a little girl when we lost Meredith, younger than you are now, and I think she loved her most of all. I know it would mean so much to her if you were to be there.’

‘I … don’t have anything to wear to a wedding,’ was all Morrigan could think to say.

Lady Margot beamed at her. ‘I can send you a dress! Oh, please do come.’ She pulled two pieces of paper from her pocket. ‘Here’s the invitation … and this … Morrigan, dear, this is a letter from my mother. I don’t know what it says, but I beg you to read it with an open heart.’ She leaned down and kissed Morrigan twice on each cheek. ‘Goodbye, dearest niece. I hope I’ll see you very soon.’

Morrigan watched her aunt glide out of the room and then looked down at the card she was holding. It was simple but stylish, with curling silver text embossed on snowy white cardstock.

Lady Mallory Darling

and

Mr Vincenzo and Mrs Olivia Rinaldi

request the honour of your presence for the blessed union of

their children,

Lady Modestine Evelyn Darling and Mr Dario Eugenio Rinaldi.

Dario and Lady Modestine are to be wed at the Chapel of the Divine Thing within the grounds of the Paramour Pleasure Gardens, at two o’clock in the afternoon on the tenth Saturday of Autumn.

A formal reception in the Glade will follow.

Fenestra insisted on escorting Holliday and Lady Margot out of the Deucalion herself (presumably to make sure they left, and maybe for the chance to accidentally show Holliday her claws on the way out). Alone together in the wake of this bizarre, whirlwind visit, Morrigan and Jupiter stood in silence for a long and uncomfortable moment, before he finally spoke.

‘You must be exhausted.’ He sat gingerly on the arm of a chair and sighed with his whole body. ‘Are you hungry? Why don’t we pick up Jack from his dorm and head into Old Town? Take our minds off things. Tuesday night’s mushroom pie night at the Dusty Deacon—’

‘You knew about them,’ Morrigan cut in, watching his face closely for a reaction.

She’d meant to phrase it as a question. She wasn’t certain what she was saying was true – there was some part of her, in fact, that was certain it couldn’t possibly be true – but it came out of her mouth as a statement, and she knew instantly that she’d meant it that way.

Because she knew Jupiter.

A Jupiter who’d just discovered Morrigan had relatives in Nevermoor, on the same day she did, would have been shocked and elated. He’d have been as wrong-footed as Morrigan herself, certainly. But he’d have asked a million questions of Lady Margot, and a million questions of Morrigan , about how she was feeling and what she was thinking.

A Jupiter who was discovering all this alongside her wouldn’t look so resigned. He wouldn’t look so grim or so … guilty ?

He nodded, shattering any hope that she was wrong. ‘I knew about them.’

‘How long? Did you …’ She swallowed. ‘Did you know before you met me?’

He nodded again. ‘Meredith Darling’s defection from the Free State was a big story at the time,’ he said, playing nervously with the cuffs of his sleeves. ‘And Ornella Crow had some idea of where her daughter-in-law had come from. It wasn’t difficult to connect the dots.’

Morrigan felt her throat tighten but forced herself to speak. ‘I’ve been here nearly three years. And for all that time, you knew that I had family in Nevermoor – that my mother was from Nevermoor – but you never thought to mention it to me. Why?’

‘It’s … complicated—’

‘I am SO SICK of being told how COMPLICATED everything is,’ Morrigan shouted, punching the upholstery of an overstuffed chair. ‘Telling the truth shouldn’t be complicated, Jupiter! You just have to decide not to lie.’

‘I desperately wanted to tell you, Mog.’

‘Then why didn’t you? You knew what this would have meant to me,’ she said in a halting, choked voice. ‘To have a family who cared about me.’

The sorrow in his face was so deep it looked like it had been carved there.

‘Morrigan,’ he said quietly but fervently. ‘You have a family who cares about you. I care about you. So very much. Jack cares about you. Fen, Kedgeree, Dame Chanda. Hawthorne and Cadence and—’

‘I mean a proper family,’ she said flatly, cutting him off. ‘A real family.’

Jupiter flinched at those words. He looked devastated, and Morrigan was surprised to find she felt a small, vicious, uncomfortable delight in having wrought that devastation.

See what it feels like , she thought savagely, even as she wanted to cry. Even as she fought her instinct to take it back and apologise.

‘My mother’s family …’ she said, ignoring the crack in her voice. ‘And they want me! Don’t you understand this is the one thing I wanted so badly I could never even let myself imagine it?’

Jupiter seemed to be at war inside his own head. He stared at Morrigan for a long time, clenching and unclenching his jaw. He went to speak then stopped himself, blinking repeatedly, before trying again.

‘This is all my fault, Mog. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you about the Darlings sooner. The truth is …’ He paused, swallowing hard, his eyes overbright. ‘The truth is I was being selfish. I thought … I was sure they would fall in love with you the instant they met you and they’d … they’d want to take you away from us. From me. I was scared. Can you ever forgive me?’

Morrigan didn’t answer that.

‘You didn’t tell me I had a family in Nevermoor,’ she said slowly, trying to keep her simmering anger from boiling over, ‘because you thought … because you were worried … they would love me too much ? ’

Jupiter looked horrified. ‘Please, Mog, what I meant was—’

‘Stop,’ she said, holding up a hand to silence him. She backed out of the Smoking Parlour, knocking over a side table in her haste to leave. ‘ Please . Just … don’t.’

Only once she was alone in her bedroom did Morrigan take out the note her aunt had given her. It was written in the most elegant handwriting she’d ever seen, and she read and reread and reread it through eyes blurred with tears.

Dearest Morrigan,

Please forgive a foolish old woman. I behaved abominably. The loss of my daughter took something from me I can never get back, and today I let the pain of that grief get the better of me.

All this time I have missed you from my heart without even knowing. Were it possible, I would gladly trade ten years of my future to have shared just one week of your past.

We can never make up for all that lost time. But will you let us try?

Your loving grandmother,

Lady Mallory Darling