Page 47 of Silver Spoon Falls, Vol. I

THIRTY-TWO

AUTUMN

"Can I get a caramel macchiato, please?" I ask the barista at The Golden Mug, my favorite little coffee shop in downtown Silver Spoon Falls.

Unlike in California, they aren't on every corner here.

There are only two in town, and this one has the best scones.

"I also need a regular black coffee and half a dozen blueberry scones. "

"You're getting coffee for your brother again?" Aspen grins at me, flashing her dimples.

"Nope. He still has to get his own," I say, smirking at her, which makes her laugh quietly.

I brought him coffee my first week at work, and then I found out he was coming by here every morning anyway to get scones.

The big jerk didn't even bring me one! Not one all week. Now, he has to get his own coffee.

"Good for you." Aspen gives me a high five. "Older brothers are lame anyway."

"So lame," I whisper, thinking about last night. I cannot believe he showed up at the restaurant with Cash and Finn to score Zane like our dinner was an Olympic sport. They're all insane.

So is Zane, for that matter. He basically told me that I'm going to Houston with him this weekend, and I didn't say no. I fully intended to tell him absolutely not, but the words wouldn't come.

I'm not nearly as annoyed as I should be. He's so high-handed and bossy! But I don't hate it. What the heck is that about?

"Your total is $22.57."

I run my card through the reader. "I didn't know you had an older brother."

"Yep. Nash." Aspen rolls her green eyes skyward. "He plays hockey and knows everything. Or so he thinks."

"He sounds exactly like my brother, minus the hockey. I don't think Andreas even knows how to skate. It might be worth it to see him try, though."

Aspen's snort-laugh makes me laugh, too. I really like her.

"I'll have your order right out," she says, printing out my receipt and handing it over the counter to me.

"Thanks, Aspen."

"If you two are done gossiping now, some of us actually have things to do today," a familiar voice snaps from the end of the line.

Jimmy .

My good morning dies an instant death as my mood takes a swan dive off the cliff. My stomach twists, anger and revulsion coursing through me in tandem. I suspected I'd run into him in town at some point, but I've been praying that I wouldn't be alone when it happened.

I try to convince myself to ignore him. Really, I do. I don't even turn around or acknowledge that he's spoken. But he continues to speak.

"Girl," he snaps. "Barista. What's your name?"

"It's Aspen," she says, her eyes flashing fire. I don’t think she appreciates being called girl by a jerk like Jimmy. "Exactly like it says on my nametag."

"Aspen," he repeats. "You're the one everyone complains about."

Her shoulders go back, heat blooming in her cheeks. If anyone complains about Aspen, it's because she doesn't put up with their crap. People can be cranky in the mornings. Aspen doesn't tolerate their nonsense. But I don't know how Jimmy knows that.

I find out half a second later.

"I play golf with your boss. Perhaps he should hear how much time you waste chatting with your friends instead of doing your job."

Oh, the miserable, evil jerk!

He’s bullying her to get a rise out of me, and it’s working.

I whirl to face him. "Leave her alone, Jimmy. It's not a crime to exchange pleasantries with paying customers. It’s called customer service."

His cold gaze flicks up and down my body, leaving me feeling naked and exposed, even though I'm fully dressed and in a coffee shop full of other people. "Autumn," he says. "You would know all about being a criminal, wouldn't you?"

A murmur goes through the crowd.

I clench my hands, glaring daggers at him.

"How many times have you been to jail now? Three? Four?" He smirks at me, an evil glimmer in his eyes as he tsks at me. "All that potential, wasted."

"You're right," I say, my voice shaking. "I have been to jail. And I'm still less of a criminal than you are. How many other sixteen-year-old girls have seen your dick, Jimmy? Or was I just special ?"

"You lying little bitch!" He takes a threatening step toward me, his face contorting with rage.

I press myself up against the counter, flinching.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," a guy in a suit says, stepping in front of Jimmy. "I don't know who the fuck you are, and I don't really care. You're done here."

Two other customers step forward, creating a barricade between him and me.

Aspen reaches across the counter, putting her hand on my arm as the man in the suit bustles a spluttering Jimmy out the doors. "Are you okay?" she whispers.

I shake my head, admitting for the first time, perhaps in my life, that I'm not okay. I'm not okay at all.

I skip my meeting with Zane. I skip work, too.

For the first time since I was eighteen, I drive to the house I grew up in.

It’s a monstrosity of an estate, built simply to appease my father’s ego.

He wanted it to be the biggest, most ostentatious home in Silver Spoon Falls.

He succeeded in part. It’s big and ostentatious, but it was never a home.

It’s a garish Italian villa that looks more like a prison or mental institution than a home.

The only thing missing are actual bars over the evenly spaced windows and razor wire on top of the massive fence surrounding the fifteen acres of property.

Not even the tennis courts and landscaping make it seem more inviting.

I park out front and let myself in before setting my bag down beside the front door.

The house has been shut up for the last year, but it smells clean.

Andreas has someone out here every week to keep it in order.

I don’t think he ever visits, though. He keeps it only because he doesn’t know what else to do with the place.

I don’t think he wants to saddle anyone else with it or lose the only memories of our mother we have left.

I hope her spirit doesn’t linger here. I hope she’s flying free somewhere far, far away.

She deserves that. She always deserved that.

Our father thought he could force her to love him again if he just kept her chained to him long enough.

Instead, he slowly killed her. She died of an aneurysm at forty-two.

Perfectly healthy one day, gone the next.

I drift through the house like a ghost, not sure why I even came here at all.

At least until I get to my old bedroom. It’s still the exact same, as if it’s been frozen in time.

All the clothes I left behind still hang in the closet.

My stuff still lines the shelves, trophies and awards and girlish mementos that meant so much to me for so many years.

A tear slips down my cheek. I brush it away.

I know the exact moment those things stopped mattering.

The year my mom died. That’s when everything changed.

Andreas was away at school. It was just me and our father here.

And suddenly, I wasn’t a little girl anymore.

He had plans for my life. I was supposed to marry into a family of his choosing to turn Romano Shipping into an empire.

Another tear slips down my cheek and then another. I sink to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees as memories bombard me. I let them come. I think I need to remember this. I’ve ignored it for too long already.

I didn’t tell him about Jimmy for months. I thought it’s what he wanted. He certainly threw me at his friends and their sons often enough. Whenever he wanted something from them, he paraded me around. So, I didn’t say anything. Not until Jimmy sent me that picture.

“Autumn!” Zane shouts. “Where are you, baby?”

“Zane?” My voice cracks on his name. “Zane!”

His feet pound up the stairs.

“I’m in here.” I brush tears off my face, but more fall to replace them. Of course, I can’t stop crying now that I’ve started. Of course not.

Zane appears in the doorway like a dark, avenging angel, murder in his gaze. He takes one look at me and growls like a wounded animal before stomping into the room. “I heard what happened,” he says, dropping to his knees beside me. “Andreas said you were here.”

“I’m s-sorry,” I whisper.

“Don’t ever apologize to me, little rebel,” he whispers, lifting me into his arms. “Not ever.”

I press my face to his throat, breathing him in as a shudder wracks my body and more tears pour down my cheeks. “I d-don’t know w-why I came here. I hate it here.”

He rubs my back.

“My f-father t-took everything from him when he sent me that picture when I was a teenager,” I whisper.

“It took me m-months to tell him the truth. I thought he w-wanted J-Jimmy to talk to me like that. But when he s-sent me that photo, I k-knew it was wrong, so I finally w-went to my father. I’d never s-seen him so angry before.

Or s-so triumphant. Like he knew he won that day. ”

“Autumn,” Zane says. “You don’t have to tell me this, baby.”

“I w-want to tell you.” I realize as I say it that it’s true.

I want him to know me in this way, like no one else does.

“My d-dad didn’t take everything from him to protect me.

I was just the excuse he needed to do what he wanted to do a-all along.

That’s the way I was raised, Zane. That’s the men I know. ”

“Jesus,” Zane growls.

“I’ve always been a pawn or a prize to be won. Even now, I’m a freaking pawn. Jimmy wants Romano Shipping, and he thinks he can get it by suing me.”

“He isn’t getting your company,” Zane vows, tipping my chin up until my eyes meet his.

Steely resolve glitters in the depths of his.

“He isn’t getting a goddamn thing from you, little rebel.

You aren’t the only teenage girl he’s preyed on.

We haven’t confirmed it yet, but there’s a rumor that he paid off a former employee after being inappropriate with her seventeen-year-old daughter. ”

“Oh, no,” I whisper.

“We’re going to track her down and nail his ass to the fucking wall.

” Zane brushes tears from beneath my eyes.

“Defamation is only defamation if it’s untrue.

We know he preyed on you. If we can get this girl to come forward, too, the judge will dismiss this case.

And he’ll have to answer for a whole hell of a lot more than calling you a lying bitch.

” Hatred sears his expression. “Though the motherfucker will be paying for that just as soon as I see his sorry ass.”

“He threatened to get my favorite barista fired,” I say. “I tried so hard to behave and not engage with him, but he was threatening her for no reason and I couldn’t just stand there and let him bully her.”

“Jace told me.” Zane’s jaw clenches. “He was in the coffee shop. Said he kicked Jimmy out.”

“If he’s the guy in the suit, tell him thank you.”

“Tall, dark hair?”

I nod.

“That’d be him. He’s a lawyer.” A smug smile crosses Zane’s face. “Bet the stupid bastard didn’t expect that you’d have a witness handy, willing to testify that he verbally assaulted you and then tried to attack you.”

“Jace is willing to do that?”

“He is.” Zane runs his lips across my forehead. “I think we need to file for an emergency order of protection, too, little rebel. This is the second time he’s tried to put his hands on you in a crowd of people. I don’t want to give him another chance. I also think we need to hire you a bodyguard.”

“Absolutely not,” I say, scowling at him. “I’ll file for the protection order if that makes you happy, but I’m not going to have someone following me around because Jimmy Gatlin is an angry little troll.”

“You’re a stubborn pain in my ass,” Zane mutters, but he sounds more resigned than annoyed.

“Yes, I am stubborn. I’m also rebellious, and I cause trouble. I’m independent, and I never listen to anyone. I do what I want and go where I want and?—”

“And you’re sexy as hell,” he growls. “And your smile lights up the entire fucking room. And you have a heart as big as this state. And you fight for what you believe in, even if you have to fight alone. And you love your brother fiercely. And you have the most adorable little dimple when you smile. And you make my fucking cock ache every time you scowl at me. And I spent half the goddamn night mad as hell that I didn’t do this last night. ”

“Do what?—?”

He cuts me off by pressing his lips to mine, his kiss hard and demanding.

I moan against his lips, twisting my hands all up in his fancy suit jacket to pull him closer as reality spins away, replaced by the feel of his mouth working with mine.

He steals the air from my lungs, replacing it with his.

His tongue twines around mine in a sinuous, sensual dance that turns my soul to ash.

The walls around my heart rattle, pieces of them crumbling to the ground.

He slips through the cracks, nestling into place in a little corner that blazes to life with a powerful jolt.

I cry out in shock as my entire system ignites with a whoosh.

Oh my gosh. This man is going to make me fall in love with him.

I can’t do that. I can’t . And yet… I already feel it happening.

I already feel myself slipping down that path, giving tiny pieces of myself to him that I’ve never given to anyone else.

My truths and my secrets. My kisses and pieces of my soul.

In the same bedroom where I lost so much of myself so many years ago, this crazy man helps me find a little part of that girl again.

The one capable of love. The one capable of trust. The one who dreamed.

In his arms, with his lips on mine, for the first time since I was fourteen, I let myself dream again.

“I’ll go to Houston with you,” I whisper against his lips, giving the answer I wanted to give him last night but was too terrified to say out loud.

“Brave little rebel,” he murmurs, nipping at my bottom lip.