Page 12 of Silver and Lead (October Daye #19)

“She says she doesn’t want me to do anything that would risk our safety, but I don’t think my husband will see it that way.” That was quite probably the understatement of the century. Tybalt was going to see this as a betrayal.

“You can’t refuse her; she’s your queen,” said Simon, voice going hollow.

“I know,” I said. “That’s why I’m trying to learn more about what I might be walking into.

And you know I’d refuse, queen or not, if I thought there was any real risk to the baby, right?

But I’m not sure how to make Tybalt understand that I need to do this if there’s any way I can manage it.

Especially since…” I trailed off. It felt new and a little strange to be confiding in Simon, but a lifetime of memories told me it was the most natural thing in the world.

He watched me with loving, infinite patience, and I found myself continuing: “Even though I know it’s going to make him unhappy, I’m looking forward to having something I can’t dodge doing. I understand why Tybalt’s so protective right now, but I’m about to start climbing the walls.”

Simon chuckled. “Ah, yes. That’s a familiar sentiment. Why—” He cut himself off.

I frowned, cocking my head and looking at him carefully. “Simon? What aren’t you saying?”

“Nothing. Just remembering how when Amy was pregnant, she was unable to stomach the taste of blood,” he said. “It turned her stomach dreadfully sour, and as a consequence, her magic was all but unavailable to her during that time.”

“That must have been annoying for her.”

“So much so that when August was born, she swore she would never carry another child. That was part of why you were such a surprise to me.” Simon sipped his drink. “It seemed impossible that she would have voluntarily chosen another pregnancy.”

“I’m not entirely sure why she did,” I admitted. “She didn’t want me to be part of Faerie, and she did her best to hide me until she’d turned me human enough to evade the Choice.”

“Then I suppose I owe my brother a debt of gratitude for finding you before she could achieve her ends. I can no longer imagine a world without you in it.” He looked at me, pride bright in his eyes. “You are one of the best things I’ve ever had a part in.”

“I share the sentiment, sort of father-of-mine,” I said, relaxing now that we were discussing subjects less fraught than my work for the queen. “You said things were complicated in Saltmist. How’s Dianda doing? Are the three of you getting along all right?”

Simon’s cheeks reddened. “We’re getting along marvelously well.

Their love brightens my nights and eases my days,” he said.

“Our love is not the complication. But Dianda isn’t currently able to swim as far as she would like, and in the Undersea, that can be taken as a weakness.

Patrick stays with her at all times, to be sure she doesn’t injure herself in her eagerness to prove her continued fitness to rule.

She’d prefer I do the same, but understands that unless I’m willing to surrender all ties to the land, when my queen calls, I answer. ”

I blinked. What could possibly cause one of the most terrifying women I knew—and I knew a lot of terrifying women—to be worried about admitting weakness?

I glanced down at my own swollen midsection, then gave Simon a sharp look.

Pregnancies are rare in Faerie when compared to the mortal world, but they seem to come in clusters, like the world wants to be sure the children we sometimes get preoccupied with making will have people they can play with, peers they can grow up alongside, and not be dropped into a world of eternal adults so much older than they are that nothing will ever make sense.

“Simon,” I asked, in a careful tone, “is Dianda pregnant?”

He looked at me, eyes wide and expression guilty.

I frowned. “Why didn’t August tell us?”

“It’s not common in the Undersea to tell people when you’re expecting,” he said.

“To be pregnant is to be vulnerable, and more than that, not every pregnancy is successful. Do you really want to hand a weapon as well-honed as a parent’s grief to your enemies, when you live surrounded by them on all sides? ”

“But we’re not enemies of Saltmist,” I argued. “Dianda married you, and you’re legally my father. In the mortal world, that would make her my stepmother. You normally tell your stepkids when you’re making them a sibling.”

“Even so, I’m expected to hold to the customs of the demesne where I’m dwelling,” said Simon. “My lady is going to be quite cross with me when she finds out you know.”

“I’m not going to take out a newspaper ad or anything like that.”

Simon’s lips quirked in a smile. “I think that’s a bit old-fashioned, dear. Haven’t you heard that print is dead?”

“You don’t get to tell me what’s old-fashioned, old man,” I replied, and grinned. “Seriously, though. Congratulations. That baby is so lucky to have you as a father.”

“I’m honored that you would think so, but…”

“No buts,” I said, shaking my head. “You were never my father by blood, but you were still the best father I could have asked for, even in an enchantment that had been intended to make me miserable. Titania was trying to give you paradise, and what she gave you was the opportunity to raise your daughters with patience and love. That baby is going to get for real what I only got through magic, and I am so happy for them.”

Simon looked like he was on the verge of breaking down in tears again, and moved to hug me even as a portal appeared in the air off to the side and Nolan Windermere stepped through, accompanied by the smell of redwood sap and new-picked blackberries.

He barely spared me a nod before focusing on Simon.

“Consort Lorden, Arden needs you,” he said.

“Pardon?” replied Simon, blinking away his tears.

“Arden? My older sister? Currently in charge of the kingdom we’re all chilling in?

She’s ready for your oh-so-scintillating testimony against the imposter who stole our family’s throne.

” He flashed me a quick, sidelong smile.

“She’s agreed to speak with October here at the end of the court period, when it can be as non-stressful as possible. ”

“I didn’t ask for that,” I objected.

“No, but your husband did, your squire did, and even your liege did,” he said. “Duke Torquill appears to be trying to step up and do right by you, and if that takes the form of telling your queen to take it easy on you, I say it’s time to allow it.”

“Huh,” I said, too astonished to say anything else.

Simon turned his face toward Nolan, his body still angled toward me in a clear effort to keep me at ease. “Is he here?” he asked.

I already knew from Arden that he wasn’t, and yet I caught my breath, waiting for Nolan’s answer.

I hadn’t realized until that moment just how much I wanted to see Sylvester, to smell the comforting dogwood and daffodil scent of his magic, to feel like I was finally able to go home again.

Maybe Shadowed Hills was never going to be the home it had been when I was younger, but for part of me, it would always be the place where I’d been granted my knighthood, something that’s supposed to be impossible for changelings.

The place that had taken me in when no one thought I was worth taking.

Even if we were never close again the way we had once been, he would always be a part of who I was.

He had been kind to me when no one else was or needed to be, and I’d always believed it was because he somehow saw something in me that no one else did, something worth caring about.

The worst part of learning that Simon was legally my father had been discovering that I was technically Sylvester’s niece, and he might have been kind to me for reasons I had no control over.

Nolan shook his head. “I’m sorry, but no,” he said. “He sent word through one of his vassals. Sir Etienne?”

“I know him,” said Simon.

“He was my knight,” I said, surprising sorrow washing through me.

Finding out that Sylvester might have only cared about me at first because of his brother had been a shock that I was still recovering from.

At least I knew Tybalt loved me because of who I was.

There was no other explanation for him deciding to stick around, much less marry me.

Not that marrying a walking disaster said much about his taste in women, but hey.

“Is Etienne still here?” I asked, when the silence got to be too heavy and needed to be set aside. “I haven’t seen him since we all got back.”

“I believe he’s returned to Shadowed Hills, as he had no direct business here and was needed there,” said Nolan. “If I see him, I’ll tell him you asked after him? Perhaps he can be enticed to return.”

“It’s all right,” I said. “I’m just glad to hear that Sylvester spoke for me.”

Things had been strained enough between us for the last few years that I’d been half-expecting him to release my fealty.

I wouldn’t be an unsworn knight for long, even if that happened.

Arden would be happy to take my oaths, and if for some reason I didn’t want to pledge to her, January or Li Qin, in Tamed Lightning and Dreamer’s Glass, respectively, would be thrilled to have the opportunity to claim me.

I had choices now, options, and Sylvester wasn’t the only game in town.

But he was finally making an effort after too long spent in silence, and if I could forgive him enough to stay with my original liege, that would absolutely be my preference.

Simon rose, shooting me an apologetic look. “Forgive me, my flower, but it seems my presence is required,” he said. “I’ll return if I can.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” I said, as lightly as I could manage.

He smiled, and stepped through the portal Nolan had opened in the air, vanishing as the portal closed and Nolan and I were left alone.

He looked around the small parlor, then walked over to take an é clair from the table. “Sorry to steal your dad,” he said.