Page 114 of Sigma

I know he’s working toward a point, and I remain silent, let him make his own way there.

“You are the one thing I could not have.” He swallows hard, looks at me. “When I told Tomás to bring you to me, and to not hurt anyone in the process, I could not have known this. That I would find in you a world of emotions I never knew existed. I thought you were a means to an end. Get to your parents and punish them, and I would somehow feel better about the past.” A derisive snort. “I was a fool. I was not ruthless enough for this. I am too soft. My grandfather would be ashamed of me. My mother, too.”

“A good thing, I think.”

He nods. “I agree, now. Then, I was fooling myself into thinking otherwise. Thinking I could perhaps win the approval of their ghosts.” A snort. “You saw through me as if I was made of glass.”

My mind seizes on something he said. “Wait. It washim?” I glance at Tomás. “He’sthe one who actually physically took me?”

He has the good sense to blanch. “Yes.”

I let out a breath, the tickle of memory now satisfied. “Bring him over here, please.”

Apollo sighs. “Do not hold it against him. He was merely following orders.”

“Apollo.”

He gestures for Tomás, who comes over in a few quick strides.

“Sir?”

Apollo winces. “I’m afraid I have told her our little secret, Tomás.”

Tomás sighs, drops to one knee beside me. “Miss Roth, I—”

I don’t even know how to react. “The man in the boat.”

He nods. “It was not part of my orders that you are not touched. He only says to me, bring her, but kill no one.” His eyes are haunted. “Before him, I do many bad things. Then I am hired by him, and the bad things I do are to bad people, who do worse. Still not good, hmm? But better. To take you? I did not like it. Not to kill? Better. Harder, but better. Your island, the men, it was most difficult. I wanted to say to him that I am failing at this, it was to kill or to get away without you.” A shrug. “I am fearing his response. In my life, always, to fail is no good. So…I bring. But the men who try to touch she who is not for them? I kill them. Is easy. The man on this little boat, the man when we reach Cádiz. On the journey over the ocean, others who think to go to your little room, that no one will know.” He taps his chest. “Iknow. I stop.” His eyes go to his boss. “Then he knows you, and he is changing. The drugs shipments, no more. The guns, no more. I am not killing anyone, since you. Since I am fourteen, I kill. Then you? No more killing. Maybe I am soft, but…in here?” He taps his chest again. “Is better.”

Apollo frowns. “You’ve worked for me for fifteen years, and you’ve never said that many words to me all at once.”

Tomás just snickers. “Neither you to me, sir.”

“Ah, this is fair.”

I let out another breath. “I forgive you, Tomás.”

He closes his eyes, and deflates, sagging. “Thank you.” He firms, straightens, stands, returns to his post.

“And you, too,” I say, to Apollo. “I forgive you too.”

“I have never apologized to anyone in my life, Corinna.”

“This is not lost on me.”

He closes his eyes. Breathes deeply. Opens his eyes and meets mine. “I am sorry, Corinna. My actions in kidnapping you were foolish, selfish, and stupid. I am sorry to your mother. Your father. It was all so…stupid. And I am sorry.” He takes my hands. “Forgive me, please.”

“I already did.” I squeeze his hands. “The harder apology will be to my parents.”

He holds my gaze. “This conversation is not going how I thought it would.”

I smirk. “What did you envision? That I would just…fall onto your dick?”

He snorts. “Something like that, I suppose.” A pause. “More…happy to see me, I guess.”

I lace my fingers with his. “Apollo, I am happy to see you. Ididmiss you. But…two years have gone by. Sometimes it feels like…like it was all a dream. We cannot simply pick up where we left off—where we left off was a disaster. You’ve changed. I’ve changed.”

“How have you changed?”