Page 98 of Shrapnel

Owen frowned. “Shouldn’t you sleep?”

“I can sleep when I can count his teeth instead of sheep.”

Elijah caught Owen’s eye. “Why don’t you go home? Get some rest. You have work in the morning.”

“Right,” Owen didn’t look convinced, but he helped slide Jamie into the back seat. “Um. Text me? To let me know you’re ok.”

Jamie’s lips crept up in a crooked smile. “Thanks for the hero shit, Owen.”

Jamie’s smile faded as the door slammed in his face and Elijah pulled out of the parking lot. He sat on his hands to keep them from shaking. His jaw ached and he felt his heart begin to race the farther they drove from the Sunspot. Elijah didn’t say anything, but Jamie could see the question in his eyes.

He knew he dreamed. Somewhere in the drug-induced haze he had dreamt. Flickers of lights, colors, and sounds. Blurry faces that he tried to forget but knew he never would. It was funny that way, how he could never picture his moms facebefore. During the happy times. He could only see it twisted in pain and rage, wavering from guilt to hate. Jamie didn’t know how to describe what it was like to see your mother staring down at you as if she didn’t know what to do with you. Her child, her pain.

Jamie’s mother was fear filled eyes and trembling fists. He knew she didn’t mean to be cruel, but that didn’t mean she was kind. Every time she looked at him, he looked back at her with eyes filled with all her sins and regrets. It was no wonder she retreated into madness. The void was kinder to her than life could ever be.

With his mother’s last bloody breath, he felt the sting of suffocation. All the things he hoped would die with her came to life, their weight dragging him to the floor, choking him. His lungs filled with horror that tasted like smoke. Jamie looked into the flames and prayed. He prayed for the first, and the last time in his life. He prayed for the only salvation he had ever known.

He prayed for the flames to consume him, too.

But they spat him out. Burned away his humanity and left him alone with ghosts he couldn’t kill. With ghosts whose faces he couldn’t remember but couldn’t forget, either. They lingered at the edges of his vision; hands outstretched to drag him back the moment he stepped out from the walls.

Jamie made peace with that. Until Owen came. His face was the last thing Jamie saw before he collapsed. A heartbeat in the endless darkness. Signs of life in a place he thought long dead. He could embrace him, drag him to his level and breathe in his life. Feel again.

But to feel some things, he would have to feel everything. Remember all those faces. Hear their screams, or worse, their laughter. Let their lives and deaths mean something to him.

Jamie had given up a lot of things in his life. Discarded them and never looked back. Owen was sticky. Or gooey. No matter how hard he tried, how much he pushed, he couldn’t lose him. He didn’t want to.

He had to.

“What’s the deal with this guy?” Jamie asked hoarsely, needing the distraction.

Noah looked at him in the rearview mirror. He had taken his place beside Elijah, relegating Jackson to drive alone.

“I’m working on it. What we have so far is that he entered the system when he was young. In and out of foster homes, usually out on the streets, settled down around high school. Graduated and got into college. Almost finished a degree in chemistry but was kicked out. Naturally the school sealed the files, covering their ass no doubt.”

“Where did he meet Luther?”

Noah made a face. He did that whenever his uncles were mentioned.

“Let me check his diary. You know Luther was such a big fan of writing everything down.” He deadpanned.

Jamie kicked the back of his seat.

“Mother fucker, you think I won’t end you just because you got your ass fairy dusted?”

“Go ahead and try. I only need one lung to remove that stick from your ass and beat you with it.”

Noah twisted in his seat, swatting at Jamie before Elijah yelled, “Quit! I’m driving, idiots.”

Aghast, Noah stared at him.

“I meant that lovingly.”

Jamie wished he’d stayed unconscious.

Noah and Jamie lapsed into petulant silence. Elijah looked like he needed a drink. After a couple of miles, Noah looked back into the rearview mirror at Jamie. “Do you remember what Jackson said?”

“About what?”