Page 18

Chapter Seventeen

GREYSON

Leaving for a game has never been as difficult as it is right now.

I’ve spent the last two nights with Stella and Harper, riding out the hurricane. As I expected, the storm turned inland before getting close to Tampa Bay. We still got hit with strong winds and heavy rain that turned Stella’s small yard into a puddle. I watched it closely, grateful I thought to grab sandbags to keep the water away from her door.

I hadn’t planned to stay over that first night. After I carried Stella upstairs, I ran out to my truck and grabbed my bag of extra gym clothes to change into. When I came out of the bathroom after changing, she held up a pint of ice cream and two spoons. We huddled close together on her bed, staying up way later than we should have just talking and catching up. I don’t even remember falling asleep. One minute I was lost in Stella’s laughter, the next I was being woken by Harper barreling into the room and squealing my name.

The rest of the day was spent doing whatever Harper decided. By the time we got her in bed, my cheeks were sore from the amount of smiling I’d done. That didn’t stop me from spending a second night grinning from ear to ear as Stella recapped stories from her college days. Once again, neither of us noticed the time until it was well past midnight and Stella asked me to stay.

Now, while Harper munches on some chocolate chip pancakes at the kitchen table, chatting away with the unicorn I got for her, I’m doing everything I can to stall. Not that I have much more time to be flexible with considering I still have to swing home for my gear.

I glance at the time on my phone and groan. “I need to leave.”

“Where’s tonight’s game again?” Stella asks, bending to pick up some stray blocks that we must have missed when cleaning up last night.

“South Carolina.” I step forward, raising a hand to push a curl from her face, but pause when I see Harper watching us. We talked a bit about when to tell Harper I’m her father, wanting to make sure it doesn’t confuse her. Stella and I even talked about us, agreeing to just go with the flow while we adjust to a new normal. However, touching Stella in front of Harper, even as innocently as brushing her hair from her face, was not something we talked about.

Clearing my throat, I cover the move by bending to pick up my drawstring bag. As I hike the bag over my shoulder, I keep my voice low so Harper doesn’t overhear.

“I wanted to put something out there for you to think about.” I pull my phone from my pocket and open the confirmation email I got a few days ago. “You don’t have to answer right away. Take your time to think about it.”

Handing her my phone, I hold my breath as she reads over the details.

“This is…” Her eyes snap to mine. “How did you…”

“When you ran off, I placed a bid before following you,” I tell her.

I still don’t fully know what I was thinking by bidding on the getaway to the Georgia mountains back at the gala. The two of us had barely spoken at that point. Hell, I didn’t even know about Harper.

Still, the thought had been planted. The plan of having a weekend with Stella to give us more time to figure things out was all I wanted. I even originally planned on asking Dominik and Lilly to come to influence Stella into going along.

Now, though, the idea of spending the holiday weekend with just Stella and Harper is even better than anything I could have come up with.

If she says yes.

“If you and Harper have plans or traditions, it’s no big deal. I know it’s only a couple weeks away, so it’s kind of last minute. I’m sure one of the guys would gladly go instead. I just thought…” I trail off, shifting my weight between my feet.

“Yes.” Stella steps closer and takes my hand in her. “Our holidays consist of pajamas and eating all day long. When I was looking at the bid, I was thinking about how much Harper would love seeing snow at least once this year.”

“Does she like the winter?” I ask, glancing at Harper as she shoves her mouth full of her breakfast. Stella squeezes my hand and laughs lightly.

“She had a breakdown last month when she found out we couldn’t build a snowman. Luckily, the idea of a snowman made from sand was funny enough to distract her. For now, at least.”

Stella bites her bottom lip, hesitating for a moment. “We could tell her then, who you are to her, I mean.”

There’s no doubt that the shock is clear as day on my expression.

Swallowing thickly, I hold back the onslaught of emotions that threaten to spill. “Are you sure? You don’t have to rush telling her if you’re uncomfortable.”

The last thing I want is for Stella to do something she’s not one hundred percent on board with yet. I already intended to put the work in for however long it took to prove to her that I’m all in.

“It doesn’t feel rushed to me,” she says, her smile softening. “She should know who you are. I don’t feel right letting her continue to get to know you when she doesn’t know the truth. Everyone says kids are resilient, but I’d prefer not to be the reason for a possible therapy session in the future.”

Chuckling, I wrap Stella in my arms, dropping a kiss to her forehead as she melts into me.

“Thank you,” I whisper. Before either of us can say anything more, the feeling of Harper throwing her entire body weight at our legs catches me off guard. I pull away just enough to look down at our adorable toddler as she wraps her arms around us.

“Are you leaving?” she asks me with a frown.

“Yeah,” I tell her, my throat tight at the sight of her displeased expression.

“Why?” Her question is so innocent, but it feels as if she’s squeezing my heart.

“I have to go to work,” I explain. “My plane leaves in an hour and a half.”

Harper’s eyes widen. “You’re going on a plane? Do you fly them?”

“No.” I laugh. “I have to go to a lot of places to play different teams.”

Her mouth drops open, her surprise making me chuckle. “You play for work?”

Stella shakes her head, finally twisting from my embrace to squat down in front of Harper. “He plays hockey. So he has to skate on ice and…” She looks up at me, eyes wide with panic. “How do you explain hockey to a toddler?”

“There’s something called a puck, and we have to use sticks to keep it away from the other team and score in their goal.” I try, not quite sure if I did any better.

“Okay.” Harper nods as if she actually understands. “Can I see?”

This kid is constantly rendering me speechless. I glance at Stella, hoping she sees the uncertainty in my expression.

“Sure can, baby girl.” Stella beams up at me. “However, if we don’t let him leave now, he’s gonna miss his flight and not be able to play tonight.”

Turning away from them and opening her front door is almost impossible.

Just as I’m closing the door behind me, Harper yells after me, “I hope you win!”

Dropping onto the bench in the visitor locker room, I begin stretching my legs before we hit the ice. One of the hardest parts when playing an away game is the fact that, most of the time, none of us can get time on the ice beforehand. The anticipation and need to get moving is evident in most of us. Dean paces in front of me, although with the energy that he always seems to have, it sometimes seems more like he’s bouncing.

Landon, Carter, and Reid are to my left, silently stretching on the bench just like me. Dominik is to my right, rolling his neck from side to side.

We feed off each other’s vibes, hyping each other up and building the tension so that by the time we hit the ice, all we can focus on is the puck.

The ding chimes from behind me and I frown, glancing over my shoulder at my duffle bag. Normally, I wouldn’t give the notification on my phone a second thought since the only ones who text me are either the guys, who are all beside me, or my mother.

Now, there’s a new hope that simmers in my gut.

It could be Stella.

If it ends up being my mom, I’ll just silence my phone and move on with my night. Turning quickly, I snatch my bag up.

And thank heavens I do.

Stella: She’s ready to watch her first hockey game!

Attached is a picture of Harper grinning from ear to ear, holding up Marshmallow, the unicorn, in one hand and giving the camera a thumbs-up with the other.

I heart the picture and save it to my phone before responding.

Me: I’ll make sure to wave at the camera for her.

Stella: I will make sure to prepare my eardrums for her excitement.

“Holy shit.” Dean gasps and stops directly in front of me. “Your face is broken.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Pretty sure my face is perfectly fine.”

“Can’t be.” He shakes his head. “It’s never done…whatever that is before.”

He gestures vaguely at my face before reaching out to poke my cheek. I swat his hand away and scowl up at him.

“Pretty sure that’s called a smile, Squirrel,” Dom tells him.

“Exactly!” Dean throws his hands up as if that only proves his point.

“What are you yelling about now?” Landon asks, sitting on the bench beside me.

“Grey’s been abducted and replaced with an alien clone!” Dean says and I roll my eyes.

I busy myself with putting my phone away, hoping to hide the flinch at his words.

He’s teasing, and there’s no doubt that he would beat himself up if he knew, but the reminder of how closed off I’ve kept myself from them hurts. It’s my own fault. Years of just getting by as best I could.

However, now that I’m remembering what it feels like to live in the moment, I can’t help feeling dejected at everything I’ve missed out on.

“So?” Dean asks when I turn back around. The expression on his face tells me that I missed the original question.

“So…” I parrot back, messing with the laces on my skates even though there’s nothing wrong with them.

“What rarity occurred to make you smile?”

I glance around the locker room. Most of the guys are ignoring Dean’s shenanigans. Dominik watches me curiously, Carter and Reid try to hide the fact that they’re listening, while Landon looks like he’s two seconds from pulling Dean away.

“I…have a daughter,” I start, avoiding all the attention that snaps my way.

“Stella’s pregnant?” Dominik asks calmly beside me, and I shake my head, finally deciding to at least focus on him.

“No. We knew each other before.” I pause, widening my eyes in a silent signal meant for only him to catch. None of the other guys would know that I mean before the contract. “Before she moved to Tampa. We dated back in high school and umm…”

I shrug, trusting that they understand the birds and the bees enough to figure out the rest.

“Aw, shit, man.” Dean sighs, his earlier excitement diminishing. Seeing his crestfallen expression, I begin to understand how he felt seeing me smile. Dean is never not in a good mood, so witnessing anything other than joy feels wrong.

“She didn’t tell you?” Landon asks, a hint of judgment in his voice that I squash immediately.

“It’s not like that.” I sigh, briefly explaining to them how everything happened, making sure to wipe away any negative thoughts about Stella. She’s as much of a victim of my mother’s lies as I am.

“Damn, man.” Dean shakes his head. “No offense, your mom sounds like a bitch.”

“Tell me about it,” I grumble.

The guys ask a few more questions, both about Stella and Harper, and by the time we’re getting ready to head out to the ice, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I hang back for a moment, preferring to be one of the last guys to hit the ice. Normally, I’m left alone to wait it out. However, this time, Dominik lingers.

“Is that what you didn’t know if you could talk about a few weeks ago?”

Swallowing thickly, I nod.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that on your own,” Dom says, patting me on the shoulder.

I shrug nonchalantly, watching the guys disappear out the door. “I’m used to it.”

“Just because you’re used to dealing with things on your own doesn’t mean you have to. You have people who care about you and would like the chance to show you.”

“Lately,” I start as we follow the last of the guys, “I’ve been feeling like I don’t deserve to let anyone in. Like I don’t even deserve Stella and Harper. But now that I know what it’s like to have them around, I couldn’t let them go if I tried. They were like a shot through the heart, and suddenly, I see everything in a new light. It doesn’t change that I’ve been such an ass to every one of you, keeping my distance and bringing down the mood wherever we go…How can any of you be okay with that just because I’m starting to be happy now?”

Dominik bumps my shoulder.

“Like it or not, we all saw through your grumpy mask. We knew something happened that made you close yourself off. You were doing what you needed in order to protect yourself. None of us hold that against you.”

Well, shit.

“Thanks, man,” I mumble and try to shrug off the emotions his words brought on. The last thing I need is to be a blubbering mess when we make it to the ice.

“It’s clear that something has been changing you lately. Maybe not to the rest of the guys, but I noticed. You’ve been coming out of your shell more at practice. Hell, you came with us to a bar after the Philly game last week. Knowing about Stella and your daughter…It’s clear. They’re bringing you back to life.” Dominik smiles, stepping in front of me and turning his back to the rink. “You’re changing, and that’s not a bad thing. Change is a part of growing up, and I’m just glad you’re finally moving forward.”

Dominik waves to a fan who’s waving wildly from the other side of the glass as he continues to walk backward. Just before we hit the ice, he grins at me one last time. “Personally, I can’t wait to get to know this new version of you.”