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I had a weird feeling in my gut. Like something had happened.

Why would her mom randomly tell Rosalie about why I’d left? There had to be a reason for it. But I didn’t know what that reason could be or what to do about it.

“What’s wrong?” Sydney asked behind me.

My eyes snapped up to hers. I didn’t realize she had walked over to me, lost in thought like I was.

I didn’t know what to say, so I just held my phone at an angle so she could read the last message.

Her eyes skimmed back and forth as she read. Then she sighed softly as she smiled at me.

“That doesn’t look like a terrible message to me,” she said as she gestured to my phone. “She said she misses you. That’s a good thing, right? It means she’s still thinking about you, just like you still think about her.”

“Maybe. But just because she said that, it doesn’t mean she actually wants me back in her life.

Or even that I deserve to be there,” I said.

I thought about the night leading up to the talk with her dad, Kayden.

The doubt creeping inside me, the feelings I’d felt, knowing she’d been put through shit because she was dating me …

memories and feelings I’d pushed down for so long, threatening to come back to the surface.

“I don’t understand why you seem so hesitant. You never seem to second-guess things here.” Sydney tucked her hair back behind her shoulder as she raised an eyebrow at me.

“You gotta understand, Syd. Rosalie is the first woman who didn’t look at being with me as a way to get ahead or because she had to be around me.

My ma, she got knocked up with me by some guy who had come to the club she worked in.

After he found out she was pregnant, he split.

She hated me for it. I heard over and over how he had wanted to marry her, give her a better life, but then I happened and fucked it all up.

He never came back. She became a druggie.

I don’t think I ever saw her sober. At fifteen, I had had enough, packed what I could carry into my duffel bag, and ran away from home,” I said.

I looked up at the night sky, holding back tears.

I couldn’t even remember what she looked like anymore.

But I could remember the way she had sounded when she yelled at me when I was a kid, remember how I’d been afraid because she would beat me for any little thing.

Getting out of there had been rough, but it’d ended up being one of the best decisions of my life.

I heard she’d lost the house not long after that, and I had no clue where she went either.

“I wouldn’t have guessed that you went through something like that,” Sydney said as she placed a hand on my thigh.

“Yeah, well, why would ya? It doesn’t bother me anymore. After I left, I eventually ran into a man who took me in, taught me how to fight and boost cars. Doing those things got me off the street and some respect where I lived,” I said.

“So, that’s how you got into the underground fight scene?” Sydney asked.

“Yeah. But with that came a new issue. Women who only wanted to fuck a man because of their status or for their winnings. I never had a woman who wanted to be with me because they actually gave a fuck about me. Shit, the first girl I ever fucked did it to bum a blunt off me. No one cared to get to know me for who I was, only for what I had. Not until …” My voice trailed off as the first time I’d met Rosalie at a car meet flickered through my mind.

I didn’t even realize I’d smiled until Sydney touched the side of my face.

“Until you met her ,” she said, smiling up at me.

I nodded.

“Mmhmm. She literally fell into my world and turned it upside down,” I said with a chuckle, remembering how she had felt in my arms the first time, how surprised she was as she looked up at me.

Sydney stood up and laughed. “Why are guys so stupid sometimes?”

She glanced over her shoulder at me.

“You need to call her. Stop sitting here and go do it!” She reached down and grabbed my hand, tugging at me.

I stood up, and she went behind me, placed her hands on my back, and gave me a shove toward the path that led to where my car was parked.

“Stop overthinking things. She literally told you she still missed you and wished you could talk. So, what the hell are you waiting for? Go!” Sydney said, her smile growing.

I thought about it. And just imagining hearing her voice? It made me more excited than I’d been about anything in a long time.

I nodded and walked.

“That’s the spirit!” Sydney called after me.

I chuckled and picked up the pace, getting into my car and starting it up. I couldn’t do it here. I had to get back to my place, where it was private.

I raced home at breakneck speeds, sliding into my spot at the docks and jogging inside, taking the stairs three at a time. I got into my room and sat down. I pulled out my phone and saw the time. That was when it hit me.

I can’t call her right now. It’s five a.m. for her. She won’t even be up yet.

“Damn,” I said as I set my phone down on the table.

I sat there, thinking about Rosalie. And doubt began to creep in.

What if I called and she wasn’t happy to hear from me? Shit, what if a man answered her phone for her?

I didn’t know if calling her directly was the best idea. I could call the shop, but Kayden would likely answer that over Rosalie, and he wouldn’t be happy to hear from me.

“Billy Crystal.”

The local plug I used to buy my weed from all the time had swung by the last time I needed her to be checked on. I could ask him again.

I grabbed my phone off the table and opened our messages.

AJ

Hey, need you to swing by Kayden’s Customs again and check on that same woman I asked you to look in on before.

I knew Billy wouldn’t be up yet, so I just went about the rest of the night like usual, checking my phone one last time before I fell asleep.