Page 7 of Shelter for Shay (Broken Heroes Mended Souls #2)

He let out a quiet breath and looked down at his hands—scarred, calloused, and still trembling.

He’d never experienced this kind of thing before.

Sure, he’d experienced death. He’d buried more than one brother-in-arms and that never got easier.

It sucked and he resented it every single time it happened.

However, he’d never had to say goodbye. Not like this and he didn’t know what to do, how to act, or what to say.

“From the first time I walked into your office when I was a freshman, I hated lying to you, but it’s all I ever knew.” He lifted his gaze. “I’ve seen a lot of darkness,” he murmured. “But none of it touched me the way those years did. Before the Navy. Before I got out of here.”

“Because what happened to you as a kid… that was survival,” she said gently. “Everything after that? You chose to fight. That makes all the difference.”

“I know I say thank you a lot in my letters, but I’ve never really had the chance to say it in person.”

“You just did.”

He chuckled. “I mean for real. You saved me. You saw me when no one else did. My dad—he didn’t see anything except the bottom of a bottle and a fist. My mom…

” He shook his head. “Still not sober. She still lives here, tending bar, doing God only knows. I haven’t spoken to her since I left.

I gave her the opportunity when she overdosed.

Left her a note. But she chose to ignore it. Ignore me, like she’s always done.”

“I’ve seen her a few times.” Margaret arched a crooked brow. Her breathing machine rasped along with her ragged breath. “She still doesn’t like me. Blames me for you leaving and putting ideas in your head.”

A big smile spread across Moose’s face. “You put the right ideas in this brain.” He tapped his temple. “But even without those, I would’ve been lost to this place. We both know what would’ve happened to me.”

Margaret nodded. “Your mom… she has her own demons. Had them before you were born. For her, it wasn’t about love or even seeing you. All she knows is addiction. That’s not about you.”

“The man knows that, but the boy doesn’t,” he said bitterly, then sighed. “Dad’s still in prison. Murder in the second degree. Some bar three years ago. Andy Harmon was the cop who had the thrill of slapping on the cuffs. Imagine that.”

“Andy’s a good egg. More like his mom than his dad, even if he does carry that badge.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t tried to fix him up with your daughter.” Jesus, why the hell had Moose gone and said that? Now he’d opened up a can of worms he wouldn’t be able to put the lid back on.

“They dated years ago.” Margaret waved her hand.

Her wrist was skin and bones. Her skin paper-thin…

as if no blood raced through the veins underneath.

“Andy’s dad had just taken over as head of the trooper office and Andy was struggling working for his father.

I think everyone struggled when Jared Blake retired, but that’s a different story.

Anyway, Shay was between adventures and I sort of played matchmaker.

I adore that boy, but he’s not for my little one and we all figured that out on the first date. ”

“And what kind of man do you believe is right for your daughter?”

Margaret smirked, tilted her head, and winked.

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” He laughed. “I’m damaged goods.”

Margaret rested her frail hand over his. “I always knew you’d break the cycle.”

“I tried,” he said. “I’m still trying.” He looked over at her, eyes stinging. The machines in the background beeped. Two IV bags pumped fluids and drugs into her body. Her mind might be sharp and she still had her sense of humor, but he could feel death knocking on her door.

“This last mission was the first time I thought it could’ve been it,” he said, voice tight.

“I was lucky my injuries weren’t too bad, but the team and I, well, we’re not getting any younger.

Thor’s got a kid and they want to have more.

We all know we’re not invincible… but this one, it was just a reminder we’re all human. ”

“I’m sure my dying isn’t helping those feelings,” she said, wise and unflinching. “But you took to military life like it’s what you were born to do. Someday, it will be time to say goodbye to that part of your life. Just like I had to retire. The circle of life is real.”

“That point is being driven home by being back here.” He sighed.

“There’s a part of me that wants to go to the bar my mom works at.

I have this vision of sitting down, ordering a drink, and letting her soak in the man I’ve become, almost rubbing it in her face that she had nothing to do with it and the only reason I’ve come back is because someone else did care enough to help me. ”

“You’re not a vindictive man,” she said. “And if you do choose to see your mom, it won’t be to rub anything in her face. It will be to say, hey, I’m still here and I’m okay, in spite of it all.”

Moose looked away, jaw flexing. “You’re a smart woman, Margaret.”

“It’s okay to want her to know you’re a good man, especially if it will give you peace.” She brushed her frail hand against his. “You’re here and if that’s what you need, do it. But do it for yourself, not for her.”

He blew out a puff of air. “Are you trying to make a grown man shed tears?”

Margaret chuckled. “Tell me about your team again,” she asked after a pause. “I’ve always enjoyed hearing about them.”

“They’ve become my family. Thor—he’s my best friend. He’s a pain in the ass, but he’s amazing.” Moose pulled out his cell. “This is his wife, Danni, and their baby girl, Cassandra.”

“Wow, she’s beautiful.”

“That’s because she looks like her mother.

” Moose laughed, setting his phone on his lap.

“Right now, she’s at my house feeding the chickens.

She loves them. Chases them around on her chubby little legs as fast as they will carry her and my chicks put up with it because she’s got two handfuls of feed.

She’s the sweetest, most innocent thing you could ever meet. ”

“Sounds like she’s stolen your heart.”

“She’s the best,” Moose said, beaming like the best non-blood uncle that ever walked the earth. “And then there’s Kawan. He’s older than me—the oldest on the team—but acts younger. Doesn’t believe in rules. He’s like a big toddler sometimes. But he’s got a heart of gold.”

“Does he have a wife or lady friend?”

Moose burst out laughing. “Kawan? God, no. Not sure there’s a woman strong enough to tame that man. We joke that he’s a bit of a player, but he’s not. He’s just not the settling down type.”

“Everyone has it in them to fall in love.”

Moose lowered his chin. “Really? Then explain to me why you’ve remained single?”

Margaret narrowed her stare. “I had a daughter to raise. Troubled kids to take care of. I was busy.”

“Sounds like a laundry list of excuses.”

“Don’t go tossing my words back at me, young man.” Margaret scoffed. “Now, I know there are more men on that team of yours, so keep talking.”

Moose wasn’t about to deny this woman anything.

“Sloan’s steady and just kind of always there.

He’s the quiet one of the group.” Moose raised his hand.

“I know. That’s usually me, but Sloan takes grunting responses to new levels.

He talks to us, but outside of that, he’s like a vault.

Or as Thor calls him, the Onion. The man who needs to be peeled.

It’s a horrible metaphor. Not like the ones you always come up with. ”

“Yeah, that’s my superpower.”

“Lief’s got a sharp eye. He’s detail oriented. He’s the man Thor goes to when he wants a second set of eyes on mission plans.”

“Wait, I thought that was you,” Margaret said.

“Nope. I’m just the guy Thor bounces ideas off of. Once the plan is done, it’s Lief who goes through it one last time, making sure we didn’t miss anything in hopes we’re not gonna die.”

“Now that’s a flippant way of looking at things.”

“Sometimes we have to be that way,” he said softly, wishing he hadn’t put it in those terms. “Every time we’re deployed, we know the stakes.

It’s the job we signed up for.” He rounded his shoulders.

“Jupiter… he’s the glue. Tech genius. Smart-ass.

Loyal. But sometimes, the way he talks, he makes all of us feel like we’re dumbasses along for the ride. ”

“They sound like brothers.”

“They are.”

She smiled softly, eyes crinkling. “And you’ve got them. That matters.”

He nodded. “They’re the reason I stay sane. They’re the calm before the storm. The white noise in the chaos.” He tapped the back of her hand. “They’re you.”

“That’s a very sweet sentiment.” Margaret smiled, though weakly. He could tell she was getting tired. That the conversation had taken all her energy, but he could also see the glee in her eyes. That this moment had been something she needed. Wanted. Valued.

And God, so did he.

They sat in silence for a moment, the sound of the oxygen machine the only interruption.

Then Margaret spoke again, her voice thinner. “Shay would be mad at me for saying this, but… she’s about to be alone in the world now. She’s had to take care of me this year. I hate that she has to sit here and watch me die.”

“She could have put you in a home or had hospice do the heavy lifting,” Moose said, holding Margaret’s hand. “Shay wants to be here. She made that choice and don’t you ever forget that.”

Margaret gave a single nod. “But she deserves more than this house. More than caretaking and grief and duty. After I die, she’s going to struggle.

The bills will be hard. I don’t have a lot of money and she’s going to be stuck dealing with it all.

She deserves to fall in love with someone who doesn’t run at the first sign of chaos. ”

Moose froze. The way Margaret looked at him spoke volumes. “That’s not?—”

“Matthew,” she said gently, cutting him off. “All I’m asking is for you to be there for her. She’s strong, but she hides things, kind of like you.”

“I just met her.”

“Please promise me that you won’t turn your back on her.

That you’ll be that sounding board,” Margaret pleaded.

“All I’m asking is for you to be her friend.

To be the letter that comes on the darkest day.

To be the one person who answers the phone when everyone else has gone on about the business of living.

She’s going to need someone after I’m gone. ”

Jesus. He couldn’t deny this woman that single request, even if it was massive and, at the same time, not too much to ask. “I can do that for you… and for her.”

“Thank you,” she said. “I’m glad you came.”

“I’d have regretted it every day of my life if I hadn’t.”

Her hand squeezed his once before her eyes drifted closed again, sleep pulling her under. But the smile on her lips stayed long after she was quiet.