Page 45 of She Didn’t See It Coming

What Paige feels the most, on Saturday afternoon, more than grief, is loneliness. She misses Bryden. And she misses Sam, and Clara. She knows it would be wiser to stay away.

She remembers the way Sam had been the last time she saw him, on Thursday in the park outside the condo with Clara.

Maybe now he’s had time to calm down, to come to grips with his new reality.

He might be starting to cope, trying to see a way forward.

She wants to be there for him, and for Clara. Bryden was her best friend.

She decides not to text him first in case he tells her not to come. She gets in her car for the short, familiar drive to Sam’s condo. She arrives at the entrance to the underground parking and uses the keypad to call his apartment.

“It’s Paige,” she says. She senses a hesitation, but then he buzzes her in.

On her way up in the elevator to the eighth floor she tries not to think about what happened to Bryden. She does enough of that late at night, waiting for sleep to come.

She knocks on the door, and Sam opens it. For a moment he stares at her. She suddenly wants to kiss him, but she knows Clara is probably here somewhere. He lets her into the apartment and closes the door.

“Clara’s at Angela’s,” he says.

She nods, studying him. He’s showered and put on fresh clothes—jeans and a casual, buttoned shirt. He’s even shaved. It’s a good sign. She reaches out and gently caresses his cheek, meaning to comfort. His hand reaches up to clasp hers.

“Don’t,” he says.

“It’s going to be okay,” she whispers.

“Is it?” he says, his voice low.

···

Sam stares back at Paige. Her eyes are large, her hand is still on his cheek. It’s intoxicating, her wanting him. She’s like Bryden used to be, before she learned what he could be like.

She leans forward and kisses him on the mouth.

And it’s like before, he hesitates for a fraction of a second, and then he gives in to it, relaxes into her mouth, pushing her up against the door, wanting to lose himself in pleasure, to forget everything that’s happened.

It’s a long, sensual, probing kiss, and when they break apart, they are both out of breath.

He stares into her eyes, sees the longing and arousal there.

He takes her by the hand and leads her to the bedroom, avoiding the windows so that they can’t be seen.

Once they’re in the bedroom, he closes the door.

They start tearing off each other’s clothes.

“We have to be quiet,” he breathes into her ear, “in case Angela comes to the door.” She nods and undoes his jeans.

And somehow, it’s even better this time, as they make love in near silence.

He’s missed her, missed this. It’s the first time since what happened to Bryden that Sam has been able to put everything out of his mind, and it’s bliss.

But right after, Sam gets out of bed and begins dressing, his back to her.

“What are you doing?” Paige asks.

“Get dressed,” he says. “Angela might bring Clara back soon.”

She climbs out of the bed, reaching for her clothes strewn across the floor as Sam slips out of the room, closing the door behind him.

What the hell is he doing? He can’t be having sex with his wife’s best friend days after she’s been murdered.

With his daughter at the neighbor’s down the hall.

He must be out of his mind. He goes into the kitchen and drinks a glass of water, trying to pull himself together.

When he returns to the bedroom, Paige is dressed and brushing her hair in front of Bryden’s mirror, with Bryden’s hairbrush.

He starts making the bed. Once that’s done, he says, “Let’s go out to the kitchen. ”

He makes them coffee and they sit at the table. He has to say something about this, make things clear. “Paige—”

But she reaches out and places a finger against his lips. She says, “I know what you’re going to say. And you’re right. We have to be careful.”

“What if Angela had brought Clara back, and I had to answer the door doing up my pants, and you’re here?” He can’t believe how reckless he’s been. But that’s what he is. Reckless. He’s someone who gives in to his impulses. That’s always been the problem.

“She didn’t. Nobody knows but us. Bryden was my best friend.” Her eyes begin to well up. “I’m Clara’s godmother. It’s perfectly reasonable that I spend time with the both of you. Especially now.”

He looks back at her. He doesn’t love her. She could never replace Bryden. He’d been worried that the detectives would find out about their affair, but she’s not going to say anything.

He says, “We have to be very careful.”

···

Jayne has been thinking about Alice. Why would she approach Lizzie? What’s to be gained from it? It might suggest she’s more worried about Derek possibly having killed Bryden than she’s let on. People can be protective of their partners, even if their behavior seems unforgivable to anyone else.

Jayne stares again at the picture of the iceberg on the wall across from her.

What is she missing? Maybe Alice already knew about the affair between Bryden and her husband.

Maybe she’d followed him one day, seen them together.

Alice strikes Jayne as that kind of woman. She can imagine it playing out.

Maybe she’s been looking at the Gardners all wrong. Is it possible that Alice killed Bryden, and now she’s toying with them all?