Page 36

Once they were out of sight of the pony herd, Stands Strong repositioned Czanna until she was seated facing him, her skirt pulled up to her knees and her legs around him. Presently, she was hugging him, her breasts against his chest, her head nestled into the crook of his neck.

Bending his head, he whispered in her ear, "Is this close enough?"

She sighed before murmuring, "This is good, yes, but I'd like to be even nearer to you, though I know it's impossible. I do not understand it. I feel as though I would like nothing more than to crawl under your skin. Sounds silly, I know, but this is how I feel."

He chuckled. "I think I cannot grant you this wish. However, should I disrobe you and make love to you here, now, as we speed over the prairie? Do you think we might be joined together enough, then?"

"Could you?"

"Perhaps," he said, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. "I have never tried to do it, nor do I know of a man who has done it. But, if it can be accomplished, I am certain there are men and women who have engaged in it and who have liked it very much. Such is the power of love between a man and his woman."

"Hmmm," she groaned.

"But, we must wait, I think," he said. "You are not yet accustomed to the act that unites a man and his woman, and I think if we were to attempt to make love in this way now, it would be hard on you and maybe not enjoyable for you, either. And, I would have you like the act which makes you my woman.

"Also," he continued, "we are not far from camp. Do you see the hill?" He pointed.

"You mean the mountain? Isn't it a mountain?"

She felt him smile. "On the side of the hillish 'mountain' in that direction"—again he pointed—"is a coulee where there is water and grass for our horses and many cottonwood and willow trees to hide them…and us. This is where we will make our camp for this night."

"Oh," she said. "But, sir, then we will have to set up camp, which takes some physical work, and we might be exhausted after, and—"

His laugh was hearty and spontaneous. "Had I known how greatly you wish to become a part of me—"

"Oh, stop it," she interrupted. "You know very well you have caused it. Every day you have been teasing me…rubbing my shoulders and my chest, as well as running your fingers through my hair…rubbing my back…kissing me as though you would make love to me…making comments about wishing to see me naked…but then you have always walked away from me. Have you really thought all these acts, these words, have had no effect upon me?"

"I have hoped. But, you now know why I have had to walk away, as you say. Niitá'p, if you think back to it, have you not seen I have been experiencing the same as you?"

"I do not know. Have you? Do you?"

Again, he bent down slightly to kiss the top of her head. "Of course, I have. I do. Why do you think I have been teasing you? If I didn't wish to have you close to me also, I would have said no to your pact and walked away, never to touch you again."

She bit her lip. "Never to touch me again? Oh, please, do not even say it. Are we almost there?"

"We are. As you can see, we have only to climb down into this coulee. It is not too steep. We will hobble the horses once we get to the bottom of it and will let them graze while we get to know one another a little better."

"I am glad." She breathed in deeply. "I love you very deeply, Mr. Stands Strong. I love you, I think, more than I have loved another living soul. I know it took me a little while to realize I should leave my past behind me. But, I have done so. I wish now only to be happy and to create my life with you. I hope to make you as happy with me as I am with you."

"It will be my honor to do the same. Niitá'pt, it is my honor."

****

She wasn't really aware of how far down they had climbed into the coulee until he brought his buffalo pony to a halt, the other horse still following behind them stopping, also.

This part of the canyon was wooded across the floor of the coulee to where the land extended out into the sparkling, babbling stream.

The timber was thick here, consisting of many willow trees and tall majestic cottonwoods, and reached out in a line both east and west up to and against the north end of the canyon.

And, the scatterings of numerous bushes and tree limbs from windfalls caused the ponies to have to step over or around them.

Czanna breathed in deeply, and at once her lungs were filled with the woodsy scent of the grasses and timber, whose green-colored leaves flickered in the warm breeze and showed off a reflection of the reds, pinks and purples of the late evening sunset.

It was odd, this northwestern territory, in that the sky darkened so slowly and the sunset seemed to go on and on, well into the very late hours of the night.

However, once inside the timber, it wasn't long before they stopped again, and, after sliding down from his seating, Stands Strong reached up to help Czanna dismount.

But, instead of letting her feet touch the ground as she came off the horse, he held her up against him and hugged her, her face on a level with his.

And, then he kissed her lips, her eyes, her cheeks, and, holding her up and against him with only one hand, he reached up to massage her ears, her neck, her breasts.

She closed her eyes, reminding herself to breathe.

For a moment, it seemed her body had forgotten.

He whispered, "If you have ever had any doubts of my love for you, let me show you tonight how much I adore you.

Ease your mind, my beautiful woman, about my having to keep some distance between us.

It, too, is now in our past.

I take you for my wife now, for all my life and perhaps forever.

Should I tell you more? Should I say to you how taken I was with you from the start, from the first moment I heard you singing, there upon the pisskan? So much was I charmed, I had to know more about you.

I had to see this woman.

And so, I climbed up the pisskan's cliff to see you.

And, when I beheld the beauty of the woman who matched the allure of her voice, this was when I started to love you.

And, though you wished me not to follow you, I could not let you go.

I had to ensure your safety.

"And, why did I do this, you might ask?" he continued.

"Because I loved you from that moment on.

Come with me now to a shelter I have built.

I set up this camp earlier today, hoping you might change your mind about becoming my woman.

But if, by my earlier actions, you have thought I have not loved you enough, let me tell you the truth of my passion so you do not doubt it.

It was and is my love for you which has led me.

Though I have said this to you before, let me repeat it now: I would not ruin you.

If you have wished to be close to me, I might tease you about it, true, yet I think your desire mirrors the yearning in my own heart.

I, too, want you close to me…always.

I do not ever wish to let you go, and I promise to not let you out of my arms this night, except perhaps only for the call of nature.

"And now, as the wise men of my tribe have often counselled to a new couple, let me tell you what I vow to you as my woman," he said, letting her feet fall to the ground.

And, bringing his forehead to hers, he began again, the baritone timbre of his voice soft as he said, "I promise you now before my God and yours to take care of you, and to keep you and any children we may have always in my thoughts.

I promise to protect you and our children to the best I can so you might feel secure in your daily lives.

As your God decrees, I promise there will be no other woman I will take into my life as a wife.

And, I promise to never use a harsh word against you, but if we do disagree and I feel I cannot speak to you without bad words, I will leave so I might cool my temper.

But, never fear I would go away never to return.

I promise to come back to you so we might talk with our minds not influenced by anger.

I am yours.

I have been yours since the moment I first saw you.

Whatever we must face, whatever comes, do not ever doubt my love for you"—he kissed her forehead gently—"and these are my promises to you."

As Czanna stared up at this man, she became aware of each tiny line around his eyes, of the beauty of his deep dark eyes which, passion-filled, were looking back at her.

There was a soft look in his gaze, also, when he stared back at her, reminding her of this man's heroism in her defense and his devotion to helping her.

But, until now, she hadn't really seen his actions for what they were.

As she continued to gaze up into his eyes, she looked at him as perhaps she never had before, and with only a few evening stars overhead to light the evening's sky, she was dazzled by his utterly handsome countenance, the oval shape of his face, his dark, almost-black eyes, his perfectly straight nose, his full lips and firm jawline.

The deepening sunset and the few stars overhead silhouetted each of his strong features as though it, too, embraced him.

Yes, he was the handsomest of men, but he was also a man capable of great compassion and care, though it seemed to her he tried to conceal this particular quality, projecting instead a tough warrior's image.

She reached up to run her hands through his long hair, which was currently unbraided and falling about and over his shoulders.

She whispered, "Thank you, my dearest husband.

Thank you for what you have pledged to me.

And now, I believe it is my turn, since I think I, too, should abide by the counsel of your wise men.

And so, let me tell you what I promise you."

Stands Strong simply nodded, but he didn't utter a word.

And, gaining comfort from the warmth of his embrace, she murmured, "I admit I was a little frightened of you when we first met.

Yet, upon talking with you, I realized I had nothing to fear.

It was then when I beheld the goodness of your heart.

Yes, I could clearly see how handsome you were from the start, but a pretty face and handsome figure are not necessarily a woman's first concerns with a man.

"It was when you came to help us, bringing us food and staying with us to help guide us back to the fort when it happened: I was devastated when you bluntly inferred my kiss against your cheek was less than satisfactory.

I felt as though I had been thrust into a world of an unknown quality.

Yes, my reaction to you was partly because of the potential danger in the environment, but it was also due to my body's reaction to you—as though I would like nothing more than to kiss you over and over again until you agreed to make love to me.

I was shocked at myself.

"And yet, you seemed unmoved by me.

It seemed so unfair.

How could you be unmoved by me when I felt on fire from merely being close to you? And then, the next morning when you came to awaken me and kissed me and massaged my back, I knew then that it was only a matter of time before I would come to love you much more than a friend.

"But, it has been hard for me because I am entrusted with a duty to my brother, my parents and the rest of my family, and we, you and I, were, and we still are, so different because we have been raised with conflicting views of life.

"And yet, every day thereafter, your kindness toward me, my brother and even Mr.

Henrik has caused me to love you, as I have already told you.

My husband—I like calling you my husband…" She sighed.

"Loving you, however, has been difficult because I have wanted you to touch me, to kiss me and to love me.

And yet, as you know, I couldn't envision my life with you.

Only as a lover, I thought, could I ever allow you into my life.

"But, I have changed my mind about it all.

I cannot, indeed, envision my life without you.

And so, let me tell you what I promise you.

Like you, I vow to take a moment before I say harsh words to you.

Only when we both have let time cool our tempers, as you say, will we talk, and only then will I speak to you, with no anger left in my heart.

This is wise.

But, because I have no conception of what is yet before me as your wife, I can little give you promises about it.

But, this I can promise: I will love you and no other, and for all my life.

The idea of taking on a lover other than you, as I have believed is my right, is, from this moment forward, forever gone from my heart.

Further, I will love any children we might make as much as I love you, and I will do all I can to raise them always with their good in mind, promising to shower them with the same love I hold for you.

I will try not to interfere with important duties you may have in your life, but beyond this, I do not know what is expected of me, so I cannot say more about it.

"I can only give you this: I am yours, and I will try to bring you happiness in the life we will share together."

He didn't speak for several moments, and when she looked up at him, she saw his eyes were tear-stained.

At length, he cleared his throat and whispered, "You have promised me more than I ever hoped to hear you say.

And so, now let us look around us and see where we are so we may remember this moment at some time in the future when youth has fled from our bodies—let us look at the heavens above, the stars seen through the trees, the sound of the rushing stream, the smells of the forest, the trees, the grasses and the firmness of the earth at our feet.

Let us set to mind all these we sense so we can keep this moment forever in our hearts."

When she nodded but didn't also look around the environment, he continued and said, "I will direct you.

Do you see the stars overhead?"

She nodded. "I do."

"Their light is strong in the east and weak in the west. Do you see this?"

"I do."

"Soka'pii. Now, take a look around again. We are here in my country, at Sacagawea Springs. It is spring, almost summer. The grass is green and soft. In the air is the scent of flowers, trees and bushes. The night sky is becoming dark, and there is a wind from the south, bringing us its warmth. Always, let us remember this time when we became one."

"Yes," she whispered.

Something was happening to her; oddly, as he spoke, she felt her senses expand out beyond herself and into the environment. In awe of the new feeling, she felt herself grow so close to him it was as though she became him, though she little understood how this could be. She was still who she was.

Looking up at him, she asked, "Do you feel it?'

He nodded.

And she murmured, "For a moment just now, it was as though I were you, though I was still very much myself. Oh, my darling, I do not know how to say this in words. I can only tell you this: you are now a part of me and I a part of you."

Standing on her tiptoes, she placed her arms around his neck. Then, with a soft giggle, she said, "Perhaps now I can find the closeness I have been craving with you for some time. Do you think we will be as close to one another as we truly desire?"

"We will try," he murmured. "But, it might take us a lifetime to fully realize it." He grinned down at her. "Yes," he said, then repeated, "it may take us a lifetime."

****

After hobbling the two horses and seeing to their comfort, Stands Strong led her to a shelter nestled in a deep wooded grove a little away from the noise of the rippling stream that ran through the bottom of the coulee. At first, she didn't even see the lodging, so closely did it resemble the environment. But, eventually, as they came in closer to it, she began to understand it was a structure and not simply more of the woods.

It was shaped somewhat like a tepee but made of tall wooden slabs of logs placed closely together, the limbs obviously being gathered from the many windfalls in these woods. There were also interlocking slabs of tree bark placed over the upright poles, and around the bottom of the structure were even more tree limbs arranged to about a two-foot height.

It was like nothing she had ever seen. At one of its sides was what looked to be a smaller, yet similar structure perhaps a little more than one meter in height and extending outward for what looked to be about seven meters. Made of smaller logs, it looked like an upside-down "V", and it appeared to be the only entrance into the larger structure.

As they stood together looking at it, he said, "This is a war lodge."

"What? A war lodge? My husband, I thought we were going to make love. Are we, instead, going to war?"

He chuckled, then answered, "Only if you wish there to be war between us. This is for our first night together. I wanted to build a structure where we might feel secure enough to relax. A war lodge is what Blackfeet men make when they come in close to an enemy encampment. Within this lodge, the smoke from a fire is not easily sensed by an enemy, and its light cannot be seen. It is a sturdy shelter. It was my wish for us to be able to be together this night and to be comfortable with a good fire, and without the fear of an enemy seeing its light or smelling its smoke."

"Oh my," she said. "Imagine, a war lodge. How is it used when you go to war?"

"In this way," he answered. "We make these lodges when we come in close to an enemy camp; this is why they are built carefully so they are not readily seen and where all those within it can smoke the pipe, make dried meat and sleep without fear of it being detected. Also, we can leave food in the war lodge in case we lose the dried meat we carry with us. Here, too, we can gather together after the fight or leave messages to each other. Often we store extra weapons in case we lose them in battle. It is good for sleeping, too.

"In hopes of you changing your mind about becoming my woman," he continued, "I wished to make a lodge which is hard for an enemy to perceive and would give us cover well enough so we would have little fear in being disturbed."

Czanna cast this man a curious glance, then asked, "You built this all by yourself? Today?"

"I did. They are easy to make and take little time. This war lodge is smaller around than the ones we usually build, and so it was done easily and quickly."

"Easily? It doesn't look easy to me."

He turned toward her and grinned. "Do you wish to flatter me? It is my duty to ensure we will have a lodge where we can come to know one another without fear."

"I do not flatter you," she said. "I am truly in awe of you having put this together today, and yet you were there when I needed you most."

"As I always hope to be. Now come, let us go inside. Step this way… I fear you will have to come down on hands and knees to enter. Here, follow me and do as I do."

She complied and followed him into the war lodge, crawling behind him and through the long entrance, coming at last to stand up behind him, scooting in close to him. Immediately, she smelled the strong scent of pine needles within the lodge, and except the dim starlight filtering in through the very top of the structure, she saw there were no other openings within the lodge. Indeed, it was quite dark within it.

As she glanced around the one room, she came to understand the reason for the strong scent of pine: bows of balsam were scattered over the ground within the lodge. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness within, she saw two blankets to her left neatly set together, as well as a soft robe at the head of the blankets, its use most likely being that of a pillow.

She must have been staring at it intensely, because Stands Strong seemed attuned to her thoughts, and, gesturing toward the blankets, he said, "Our bed."

Oddly, she wasn't embarrassed by the obvious, yet suggestive statement. Indeed, she was thrilled, and, looking more closely at their "bed," a rather wanton excitement washed through her system.

Turning, Stands Strong put his arms around her, and she fell forward, at last gaining a hint of the intimacy she craved. She whispered, "I like it."

Gazing up at him within the softness of the darkened interior, she watched as his head descended toward hers, his lips unerringly finding hers. At the contact, she felt her body melt into his until she doubted even the width of a pin could have been inserted between them. And, as she thought she might at last be near enough to him, she realized it was still not enough.

But, at last it appeared he was ready to do all he could to grant her wish.

Breaking off the kiss, he picked her up and strode toward their bed of soft blankets. He didn't let her go, though; instead, he drew her down onto her knees, he also kneeling before her. Meanwhile his hands were working over her clothing as though her garments were nothing more than an encumbrance. It didn't even occur to her to wonder how he knew how to undress her, since, if she were to have given it better consideration, she would have realized that most Indians were unfamiliar with the layers of clothing a white woman was required to wear.

But, the clothing gave him no reason for hesitation. Still kissing her, his hands worked over the snaps, buttons and other fastenings holding her dress together.

Then, at last, she was kneeling in front of him, completely adorned in nothing more than the manner in which she had come into this world. But, she was to be disappointed momentarily because she soon became aware she was the only one naked. As near as she could tell, he was still wearing his shirt, leggings, breechcloth and moccasins.

She whispered against his lips, "Am I the only one to be undressed, then?"

She felt his lips rise up into a grin. Then he said, "I promise I will disrobe, but in a little while. Let me enjoy the feel of you and the look of you without the need to commit to the act of love. I fear that if I also undress, I would think only of fulfillment. Instead, I would savor this moment."

"Yes," she agreed.

And, then he pressed her backward, enveloping her body within his arms until she was lying down beside him. But, he wasn't reclining. Instead, he was kneeling by her side, and, looking up at him, she saw his gaze was everywhere upon her.

He whispered, "You are more beautiful without your clothing."

And, with no more said, he felt her everywhere, from her head to her chest, downward over her arms to her stomach and lower still toward her femininity, and there he massaged her briefly before he brought his hands down to caress each of her legs, then felt down farther toward her feet, and these he massaged.

Then he came back up over her body, caressing and kissing her everywhere until he reached the top of her head, which he massaged, while she whimpered and groaned.

She whispered, "It feels so good."

He lay down beside her, and then kissed her deeply, his tongue reaching into the recesses of her mouth and toying with hers. Meanwhile, his hands were rubbing her, massaging her everywhere, his hands lingering over her breasts. One of his hands remained where it was over one of her breasts while his other hand journeyed over her body until it reached her core.

"Open your legs," he whispered.

She complied, there being no thought of resistance within her.

And, then his fingers found the moist place most sensitive to his touch, and she thought she might swoon, so good did it feel.

With the age-old instinct of love, she wiggled a little, immediately rewarded by a thousand points of pleasure washing over her. Again she groaned, and she murmured, "What you are doing feels so intimate and so soul-stirring, it's as though what you are doing has taken my breath. Is it always to be this pleasurable?"

"I hope it will always be so," he whispered.

The massage there at her core continued on and on, and still he remained fully dressed. But, she was now barely aware of it. All she knew at this moment was the love she felt for this man who was giving her body these millions of carnal, amorous pinpoints of feeling that stretched from the top of her head all the way down to her toes.

The sensations went on and on, building there where he was touching, and, within moments, she felt the passion of their crescendo, becoming fuller and fuller until bliss became all she knew.

It happened then. A fury of arousing sensation encompassed her, it seeming to have no time, yet was so full of seductive pleasure she could barely breathe. She shut her eyes to more fully experience its heat. Never in all her life's teachings about her place in life had she been told about the sense of joy she could attain because of the act of love.

Perhaps this was the reason she had been startled the first time when she had come in close to Stands Strong and had so innocently placed her lips upon his cheek. She hadn't, until then, ever known the utter desire a woman could experience by simply coming in close to a man she especially liked; she had only known the facts of lovemaking, not the pull of attraction. At the time, hers had been an unexpected response, especially because her first kiss upon his cheek had been so tiny a gesture.

At last, a feeling similar to falling through space encompassed Czanna, and she felt the full force of her love for this man. Her heart beat so quickly within her chest that she could only compare its speed to the act of running; to wit, it was similar to it if the race were one of flying, because this was how she felt…free and above herself. And, when she at last came back to the earth and gazed up at Stands Strong, she found him still beside her, grinning down at her.

She was beyond words. Truly. Completely.

But, no words were needed. Quickly disrobing, Stands Strong brought his naked body down to hers, and he whispered, "It might hurt you at first. But, fear not, it soon will go away. Are you ready?"

She nodded.

And, then he truly and physically became a part of her, and, innocently, she would have never suspected she would have rejoiced in the feeling. At last, she felt she had come to be as near to him as she could possibly be.

He hesitated once they were as one together; he didn't, indeed, move at all. It seemed to her as though in this way he thought he might take away the pain. But, when she didn't seem to object to the feel of him, he began to move.

And, this was when she realized the truth of what he had told her: at first it hurt, but it went away after a while. Besides, she wasn't about to stop. It felt too good to be so entangled with him.

And, then he began the dance of love, and she met him with every move. Never could she recall feeling as though she were a part of another human being. And this, she realized, was what she had been craving from him for some time now.

Gradually, as they danced and they danced together, the same pleasure she had experienced only moments before began to build within her again, and it wasn't long before she was experiencing the same exquisite pleasure he had bought to her earlier.

As she met his moves and added her own gyrations to his, she was aware she was reaching toward the same peak of sensation a second time, and when it at last encompassed her, she felt the final momentum of his dance before he joined her there.

Oh my. To be so close to him is as though I've found a bit of heaven.

And, when she felt him gift his seed to her, her senses exploded. But, something else happened, also.

Somehow, in some way, she had become so attuned to him in this brief moment, she sensed she was he. Indeed, she was feeling what he felt, knew his thoughts, too—easily, as if they were her own. And, it was in this moment, set out of this world's time stream, when she at last knew she had attained what she had been seeking since she had first come to know this man. This was the intimacy she had been yearning for, little knowing that, while being completely herself, she would become him, too.

How this was possible, she didn't know; she only knew it was.

She placed her arms around Stands Strong and hugged him, and, as she did so, she felt peace settle over her. She didn't want him to ever move away from her, though she realized the utter impossibility of it. Oh, if only she could make this moment last.

As she massaged his shoulders, his back and his head, she whispered, "I, indeed, do love you, my husband."

"And I, you."

And so, their lovemaking continued in a like manner throughout the entirety of the night. Over and over they gave to one another, loving one another and deepening their commitment to each other. Indeed, within this night they didn't even come apart long enough to build a fire.

After all, what need had they of a fire? They were making their own warmth and heat.

And, when the first rays of morning could be seen through the top of their war lodge, they awoke and made love all over again.