Page 14 of Shards of Desire (Dragons of Sin)

Chapter Thirteen

THEO

Those few words from her lips were testing my restraint in a way it had never been tested before. My dragon wanted out, and he wanted her.

My fists clenched before forcing themselves open as my talons slid out on their own accord. I was quickly losing control over my shift, as the overwhelming need to put her words to the test roared to life within me.

Her wide eyes looked hopeful, and confusion warred within me. Already, my feelings for this human were something I was trying to actively sort through. I’d come to the conclusion that she’d be safer and happier away from me once this curse was broken and the alliance between our people was restored.

Was I wrong?

Did she not hate me?

A growl rumbled through my chest as I resisted the urge to run my nose along the soft skin of her neck, breathing in her tantalizing scent. Already, she was beginning to smell like me. Like she was mine.

Could the elementals be laughing as they watched us in this moment, knowing we entered this marriage for political reasons, but were somehow two halves of each other’s soul?

My jaw ticked as she raised onto the tips of her toes, eyes completely focused on my lips. Every single part of my body became rigid as she approached, her intention clear as day.

It was like time came to standstill as mere inches stood between our lips, my body somehow acting of its own accord, lowering to meet her halfway. I felt the warmth of her body radiating toward me as her chest brushed against mine and her hands came up to wrap around my neck.

My hands glided over the small of her waist and down the swell of her hips before my fingertips pressed in.

Fuck, I wanted to let my beast out and test her. She had shown she was strong and stubbornly fearless. Could she withstand the weight of the curse and not run away as she looked into the eyes of my dragon?

Could she want me…for me? All of me?

Just as her breath fanned across my lips and her eyes closed, I recalled her words. That my kind disgusts her. That she felt the same when I said I’d never touch her. The way her hatred had burned so brightly in her eyes the entire journey from her castle to mine.

It couldn’t be her.

Grabbing her hips tightly, I veered my head to the side of her face, resting my lips next to her ear. We couldn’t do this. I couldn’t let my restless desire to find a mate put her in harm's way. Not when this wasn’t how she truly felt. No one could change that quickly.

I’d rather her hate me and realize she was better off far away from me. Far away from all of the beasts lurking in the shadows of my lands. Let hate fill her heart once she finished her duties to her kingdom in this marriage, if nothing else than to protect her.

This was a contract for an alliance, and we needed to keep that in mind.

My beast lashed at the bars of the cage I kept him tucked away behind as I forced the words out. “This is just the alcohol loosening your tongue and a spoiled princess not enjoying the fact that I’m denying her as an option. You told me that my kind disgusts you, and I told you I’d never touch you. Let’s not make liars of ourselves, wench.”

I pulled back just in time to see the haze of lust clearing from her eyes, and a spark of shame burned across her cheeks. I took no enjoyment in seeing her fall onto her feet and glare at me with the intensity of a million burning suns. Her small hands pushed roughly against my chest, attempting to move me away from her. She couldn’t accomplish that herself, but I took the steps back anyway, allowing her the space to move away.

My head fell as she demanded, “Put the fireplace back on. I’m cold and we need to discuss how we are going to begin our search for a way to break this curse. The sooner, the better.”

A blood-curdling cry sounded from my dragon within, filling my head with a piercing rage as I lifted my hands to my temples.

Hush . She is not ours. Would you rather kill her while proving that point?

As I dropped my hands and turned to glance at her curled back up in her chair, staring a hole into the ground, my shoulders sagged. Even if I couldn’t have her, the brief time of not being at each other's throats that we’d just shared within this room…I wanted more of that. I wanted more of her smiles and laughs. I wanted more of her coming to my defense and feeling like someone wanted to carry the weight of my burdens with me.

“Are you going to light the fire, or should I go back to my room?” she snapped, refusing to meet my eyes.

Her offer to put out the fire had been purely for my comfort. Now that I’d offended her, I wasn’t surprised at her recension of that small act of kindness.

It was better this way.

As my eyes scanned over the damp logs within the fireplace, I murmured, “I’d need to locate more wood. I can’t use these now.”

Glancing back at her, I watched her shoulders pull back and her chin tilt up as she glared at me. “Fine. Let’s finish this conversation quickly, so I can go to my chambers. Why were you acting cagey on the way back here, and when can I expect for us to begin searching for answers?”

My lungs expanded with a deep breath and I moved to sit back in my chair across from her. An itch was spreading across my skin as my scales burned to come out, the itch to let the shift overcome me damn near overwhelming. I needed this conversation to be over so I could lose myself amongst the snowy mountainside.

“As I mentioned before, there is civil unrest with my people, and I’m afraid my word alone cannot keep them in line. Having you here may draw their focus, and I cannot defend you if they decide to assemble into a mutiny. I may be the strongest drackya here, but even I can be defeated by numbers.”

The admission wounded my pride, but after shutting down her advances in such a callous way, this was the least I could do. It was an attempt at honesty. She deserved that, at the least.

She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, nibbling on it as she seemed to mull over my words. The action drew my focus, and I had to clear my throat and tear my gaze away.

“So, tomorrow we will be heading into the mountains with the full-blooded dragons,” I shared, eliciting a small gasp from her as her eyes widened and focused on me. “We must be respectful of the nesting dragons present as they protect their eggs, but an elder dragon is currently moving them around to provide us with an alcove that should give us some protection, compared to being within this castle. The dragons are loyal to me as their king and aren’t blinded by the mating haze that’s come over the drackya. They will help to protect us, and from there, we can work on your training and our next steps for ending the curse. You will be riding my dragon to ensure we get there quickly and safely, so dress for extreme weather.”

She composed herself quickly, nodding and pushing to her feet. It was strange to not hear a sarcastic quip in response to my commands, considering I’d told her she’d never be worthy of riding a dragon, yet here I was telling her she would.

This was exactly what I’d wanted, though. Distance and clarity between us and our roles here.

Her hands smoothed along the front of the dress as she asked, “Is that it for now? I have problems within my own kingdom to figure out so that when I go home and take up the throne, I can implement new strategies.”

Take up the throne.

I closed my eyes and silently cursed her father. That bastard allowed her to think she would be the next ruler, as heir to the throne. From my letters with him, it was clear that was not his intention. It crossed my mind to just tell her that, but I wasn’t exactly in her good graces and worthy of being trusted. Not yet. And maybe not ever.

“Hold on,” I murmured, crossing to my desk near the bed. Rifling through the manilla parchments I’d saved, I noted the dates on the tops of them until I found the first from her father.

This would be the proof she needed to see exactly what her father meant for her. The items he offered me that I hadn’t taken him up on, mainly the opportunity to not only be the king of my people, but theirs as well through this marriage. I had no desire for such things, considering he demanded we reside within their human castle if I agreed to his terms.

I’d rather burn within the fire elemental’s domain for eternity.

“What’s this?” she asked, brow pinched as I approached and offered the letter.

“I take no joy in giving this to you,” I warned, knowing her mind would go there without prompting now that she felt scorned by me. Like I was kicking her while she was down. “I owe you these answers, considering you will be going back there when our marriage is done. You deserve to know exactly what you’re going back to, on the off chance your father tries to arrange another suitor for you.”

Those words tasted like ash from the fireplace had settled on my tongue, and I bit down on my lip, hard. How had it not crossed my mind until the words had come out that he would likely marry her off to another after this was over?

The guarded look I’d grown to know well from the fiery wench came back as she gave me a curt nod and strode toward the door.

“Siyana?” I called out, causing her to pause as she pulled it open. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

She didn’t bother looking back at me or responding, and the door quickly shut behind her. A roar came from within me as I gave in to the beast, who fought to take over the moment she was gone from my sight.

I stripped my clothes off as I raced toward the balcony, not wanting to destroy my chambers again if I didn’t get into the sky in time. As a teen, the shift had hurt as I learned to master it, but now it felt as natural as breathing. The world shifted as I grew wings, the wind calling to them as the blizzard raging outside consumed me. My vision became sharper with both eyes acclimating to my advanced sight as a dragon. The scent of the salt from the ocean bordering our lands was accentuated as I launched into the air and rolled through it, finding the current that offered the least resistance.

Somehow, I didn’t manage to go very far, instead only wrapping around the side of the castle and to the other end of the building, where I could easily catch a glimpse of Siyana within her chambers. The snow would obscure me from her view, but not her from me.

As my wings beat through the gale of the storm, whooshing in time with my beating heart, I zeroed in on her small form as she crumpled the letter in her hands and threw it into the blazing fire. Despite being encapsulated within the stone walls and far from my ears, I still heard the anguished scream that came from her.

It shocked me that such a sound could come from a woman as small as her. It spoke of grief, hatred, and the need to get vengeance. I knew that scream intimately, because it sounded the same as my own when my mother died. Only I would never have the chance to seek the vengeance I craved.

I hoped that in letting her return to her home, she could claim hers, having all of the information needed to aid her at her fingertips.

Pride swelled within me as I pictured her slamming the doors open in her home castle and letting her father finally hear everything she thought. The demands she would make. The fire within her that dared to burn anyone who denied her. I wanted her to refuse to take no for an answer, to never allow her father or anyone else to ship her off to the next best suitor as he had shipped her to me.

I wanted her to take the throne and be my equal, running her own castle, not by marriage but by her birthright.

She paced around the room for what felt like hours as I made loops in the sky, watching her, unable to tear myself away. As the sun began to set and the fire within her room began to dwindle, she threw herself onto the large bed, face first.

Drawing closer to the window, I watched as her body trembled, the sound of her sobs wrenching through the air. It was a risk to be this close. If she lifted her head, there was no doubt she’d see a hulking dragon within the blizzard staring at her. Two navy eyes sparking amongst a sea of white, unable to look away.

She curled up on her side, giving me her back. A deafening cry tore its way through my throat and into the sky, my beast aching to tuck her against it.

We’d destroy anyone who made her feel this way.

No . It wasn’t my place to be that sort of protector for her.

As she began to turn, I launched up above the castle and away from her sight.

The truth was, she didn’t need me to be her champion—she was strong enough on her own.