Page 22 of Shardless (Tempris #1)
-An excerpt from the Dawn Codex
The anima is what connects us all. It is our essence, our soul, our light. Be ye fey or mortal or beast—the Shards have blessed you with a fragment of eternity and a place in Moriah.
With a groan, Skye fell into one of the chairs situated in front of the fireplace. He had spent the last two hours giving orders to the Ensigns, the newest and greenest members of the Gate Watchers. Then he’d tracked down what was left of the Gate Watchers’ chain-of-command, before he finally, mercifully , managed to make it up to his room.
Letting his eyes drift over the oaken fixtures, gilded fireplace, and various other flourishes decorating the suite typically set aside for Ivain, Skye almost felt guilty. How many people would be sleeping outside in the rain and cold while he slept in a soft bed with a fire happily crackling in the background?
Another sharp stab of pain lanced his shoulder, chasing away any lingering doubts. If the other Gate Watchers wanted to give him a plush bed and a warm fire, who was he to argue?
Though he couldn’t hear the shower running in the background, the door to the washroom was shut, and he could just make out the sound of Taly humming to herself on the other side. In fact, now that he was looking, he could see signs of her sprinkled all throughout the room—small indicators that told him what she’d been doing before he came up.
Through the wide, open entry leading to the antechamber, her things were scattered across a long table set against the wall—both pistols, disassembled and cleaned, as well as the two air daggers. Her jacket and stained clothing had been washed and hung up to dry in the closet, and the remains of a half-eaten sandwich were sticking out of the front pocket of her pack. Like him, it looked like she hadn’t been able to stomach more than a few bites of food, just enough to keep her strength up despite the ever-present memory of those sickening creatures. She had even started a fire, and the warmth now permeated every inch of the spacious room.
Though Taly had apparently managed to keep herself busy since they’d parted ways, that did little to explain to Skye just how she was still in the washroom. He was suddenly very glad that he’d decided to play it safe and jump in the Ensigns’ shower in the bunkhouse downstairs. While using a semi-communal shower wasn’t exactly optimal, at least the water had been warm.
Sinking down even further into the impossibly soft, overstuffed chair, Skye decided to close his eyes for a moment, comforted by the gentle, tuneless melody emanating from behind the washroom door. He started when the sound of hushed cries drew him back to the waking world. Slightly dazed, he looked around for the source of the sound, only to find Taly sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace. She stared at her hands, the cuffs of an oversized shirt pulled back to reveal the bruises marring her skin. Her shoulders trembled beneath the billowy fabric.
Dropping to the floor, Skye crawled across the narrow space and wrapped his arms around her. “Hey,” he said gently, twining his fingers with hers and pulling her closer. Taly jolted, drawing in a sharp breath. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”
“I’m fine,” she insisted. Her shoulders tensed, and she tried to push him off. “It’s just the smoke from the fire making my eyes water.”
“Of course it is,” Skye agreed readily. “Unfortunately for me, though, I don’t have your emotional fortitude, and I could use a hug.” She glared at him even as she leaned into him, and he smiled when he felt her body relax. “Hell of a day, huh?”
Taly barked out a mirthless laugh. “Your ability to understate is truly unparalleled.”
“What can I say? I try.”
Taly sniffed and viciously wiped at her cheeks. “Why do my eyes keep leaking? Every time I turn around lately… Shards, what an annoying habit to pick up.” She shook her head, turning to stare into the fire. “I was actually doing okay until I stopped long enough to think about all of this. Ha s it really only been a single day since we left Della?”
“Less than that actually—we didn’t leave until midday.” Skye moved a hand up to gently comb through her damp hair. “At the very least we’ll have some good stories to tell when all this is through. You especially. How many mortals can say they managed to kill one of those creatures? None of the humans downstairs, that’s for sure.”
When she turned away, her face crumpling as a fresh wave of tears streaked her cheeks, Skye realized his mistake. “Shit. You’d never killed anything before, had you?”
Taly shook her head vehemently. “No. When I was salvaging, I had to protect myself, but most things left me alone if I fired off a warning shot. I think the closest I ever got was about two months ago when I got hungry enough to try to hunt a rabbit.”
Skye buried his face in her shoulder, trying to hide his smile. Taly. Hunting. That was something he never thought he’d see. He would never forget the look on her face when Ivain asked if she wanted to learn how to hunt—scorn, outrage, and just the slightest bit of uncertainty since she had been right in the middle of spooning herself out a second helping of Eliza’s lamb stew.
“This isn’t going to end well, is it?” Skye asked.
Taly wrapped her arms around her knees. “My hands were shaking so badly, I only managed to clip it on the foot—just so it couldn’t get away from me. It looked so pitiful, and it was crying, and… I just didn’t have it in me to pull the trigger again. I had to sell my coat just to get enough coin to have the menders heal it. ”
“What’d you name it?” Skye asked knowingly.
Taly’s ears flushed. “How do you know I named it?”
“Because this is you we’re talking about.” Reaching for the iron poker near the mantle, Skye stabbed at the fire. “You used to name every chick in the chicken coop. Of course, you named the rabbit. You probably named it before you tried to kill it.”
“Fine…” Taly chewed on her bottom lip, looking up at him sheepishly. “I named it Marshmallow.”
“Marshmallow?” Skye arched an incredulous brow.
“Yes,” Taly replied with a small smile. “Like the human snack? It was a very fitting name, or at least I thought so at the time. Marshmallow lives beneath the tavern now, and Laurel feeds him leftovers from the restaurant. Actual leftovers—none of that shit Jay makes and then tries to pass off as food.” When Skye started laughing, Taly tried to glare at him, but it was a feeble attempt at anger. Moments later, she ducked her head, smiling.
“I guess I don’t have to ask you the same question,” she said, playfully elbowing him in the side. “You used to go hunting with Ivain every spring. And doesn’t your family host giant hunting parties every year after the summer court season concludes?”
Skye fiddled with a stray thread on the cuff of her sleeve. “Yes, they do. Still, I don’t think a few hunting trips could’ve prepared me to face an army of dead men. Not even last summer could’ve prepared me for that.”
Taly turned in his arms. “What happened last summer?”
Damn . He hadn’t meant to bring that up. “It’s nothing,” Skye muttered with a dismissive wave.
“There’s a lie if I ever heard one.” Her eyes looked unnaturally bright in the flickering firelight as she stared him down. “Tell me,” she demanded.
Skye held her gaze. While he would’ve preferred never to have to tell her what he’d done, Kato had sort of forced his hand. Taly would find out eventually and better she hear it from him than his brother.
“Fine… I… well, I…” Turning away, Skye took a stuttering breath. “Shit.”
“Hey,” Taly said gently. “It’s just me.”
“I know. It’s just…” A sharp pop sounded from the fireplace, and Skye reached out once more to stoke the blaze. She was right. As he let his eyes take in the soft, familiar curves of her face, he knew she was right. If he couldn’t tell Taly about one of the worst experiences of his life, then who could he tell?
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” she said after a few moments had passed.
“No, it’s alright,” Skye conceded, throwing the fire iron to the side and using both arms to pull her closer.
“Last summer,” he began, “just after you left, I decided to go back to visit Ghislain a little early. My great-aunt had just had a child—the first highborn birth since I was born 25 years ago—and my mother wanted me present for all of the pomp and circumstance.”
Skye stopped, picking out a small tangle in her hair as he tried to find the right words. “So, I’m sure you know that the noble families always hire extra security when new children are born. Even with the decline in our fertility and our dwindling numbers, there’s been a rise in the number of highborn assassinations.”
Taly nodded. “Mostly from rival families, right?”
“Yes,” Skye answered soberly. “One evening, House Thanos was throwing a ball in my great-aunt’s honor, so everyone was away from the estate except for the child, the wet-nurse, and the household staff. Just by chance, I came back early that night. My tolerance for what you and Sarina like to call ‘courtly claptrap’ was running low.”
“Personally, I think you should just give in and embrace Ivain’s tactic of never showing up to family functions,” Taly interjected.
“I’ve tried. Believe me, I’ve tried.” Skye gave her a tight smile. “Anyways, when I came back to the estate, I could tell something was wrong. It was too quiet, and there were no guards on duty. We’re still not sure how it happened, but House Myridan managed to infiltrate the security team with three of their shadow mages. While the family was away, their spies compelled several members of the household staff.”
“Compelled?” Taly asked. Her hand had found its way into his, doing her best to offer him comfort. “Isn’t that like ascension?”
Skye grimaced. “Yes and no. Ascendancy is forbidden magic. It allows a shadow mage to essentially turn another individual into a thrall by removing a piece of their anima. The person will retain most of their personality, their magic, even some measure of awareness—but their free will is taken from them. Compulsion is… different. Unlike ascension, compulsion only allows for a si ngle command, and it puts the subject into a fugue until they complete their task.”
Horror crept into her expression as the implication set in. “Shards. They compelled the servants to kill the child, didn’t they?”
“Yes,” Skye said with a defeated sigh. “They did. They compelled six of our servants. I managed to subdue five of them, but the wet-nurse… she got away from me. She managed to get to the crib.”
Skye braced himself, fully expecting Taly to pull away from him when she found out what he’d done. “I was across the room and never going to get there in time—even with my magic. So, I reached for the first thing I could find. There was a knife nearby. The wet-nurse—Ava—had been peeling an apple. I threw it, and it hit her in the neck. Mortals… even once they’re turned into Feseraa, they get hurt so easily. She bled out in minutes.”
He heard Taly’s sharp intake of breath, felt her body stiffen. Here it comes , he thought, closing his eyes. She would likely never look at him the same way again. Not after this. Ava had been so young—completely innocent. And he’d killed her.
“My family decided to try to keep it quiet,” Skye mumbled, trying to fill the silence. Maybe if he kept talking, he could stall the inevitable. “All the evidence that pointed to House Myridan was circumstantial. It never would’ve held up if we took it before the Dawn Court. And when I came back to the island, Sarina and Ivain both said—"
Skye started when he felt Taly’s fingers graze his cheek. She turned him to face her, and his eyes found hers. But instead of reproach and fear, he only saw warmth and compassion shining back at him.
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him closer. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me,” she said, pressing her face into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
Skye released a harsh breath. She hadn’t pushed him away or recoiled in fear. She hadn’t tried to minimize the gravity of his sin because the woman had been mortal. And really… why had he ever expected any differently? This was Taly. His Taly. His friend. She had always known exactly what he needed.
“You’re here now,” he whispered, his voice low and rough. He finally moved to return her embrace, burying his face in her hair and breathing deeply. His shoulders relaxed as the lingering tension of the day melted away.
They sat there for a long while, quiet and content in each other’s company. And though he couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment, something shifted. Their embrace suddenly became… more . His arms tightened around her. Her fingers began to gently toy with the ends of his hair. When she finally pulled away, there was an unnatural rosiness to her cheeks, and Skye suspected that she could feel the erratic beat of his heart where their bodies were still pressed together.
Unable to resist the urge, he trailed a finger along the line of her jaw. Here, with the light of the fire casting a warm glow across her flushed skin, he could almost forget the veritable nightmare they had both just been lucky enough to survive.
When they had set out that morning, completely unaware of the horrors they would each face, he had thought that this irresistible pull he could feel drawing him closer to her was nothing more than some vague sense of sexual frustration, a purely physical urge that could easily be quenched with any woman that was willing.
But that was silly.
Now that he had her here in his arms, now that he’d felt that breathy sigh puff across his skin as he dragged his thumb across her bottom lip, he knew it was completely absurd to think that any other woman could satisfy this craving. There was something in her eyes, something he wasn’t accustomed to seeing. Longing, desire, maybe even lust? That thought, the idea that she wanted him, shook him to his core.
His heart beat wildly in his chest as he began to lean in, and a violent shiver tore through him when he felt her fingers graze the skin of his neck, twisting in the collar of his shirt as her eyes drifted shut.
A sharp knock shattered the silence, and Taly jumped away, looking anywhere and everywhere but at Skye. Whatever it was that was about to happen between them had ended just as swiftly as it had begun.
Skye sat there for a moment, dazed. His lips still tingled, and he had to fight the urge take her in his arms again—to hell with whoever had chosen this particular damn moment to interrupt. He had almost convinced himself to do just that when another heavy knock echoed through the room.
“You should probably get that,” Taly mumbled. She didn’t look at him, but Skye could clearly see the deep crimson blush that stained her cheeks. Even the tips of her ears were red.
This had better be good, he thought as he pushed himself to his feet and moved to answer the door. A young woman that he vaguely recognized as being Eula’s assistant stood on the other side. The timid mage fidgeted with a lock of mousy brown hair, the apprehension falling off her in waves.
“S-sire,” she stuttered, sketching out a shallow curtsy. Her hands moved to toy with the sleeve of her robe—a traditional spellcaster’s garment that most likely had various crystals sewn into the seams for easy access.
“Ensign Vera. What can I do for you?” Skye said kindly. Yes—he was irritated. But he wasn’t going to take it out on the girl. She already looked like she wanted to faint.
Vera ducked her head. “I was told to inform you that the remaining leadership has agreed to your request to meet at ten bells.”
“Thank you, Ensign,” Skye replied with a patient nod. He opened his mouth to say something else, but the jittery mage was already scurrying down the hall. “And Ensign,” he called, suppressing a laugh when he heard her squeak, “anything non-critical? Feel free to slip a note underneath the door.”
Vera bowed low, her forehead nearly touching her knees. “Y-yes, sire,” she quavered before turning and skidding around a corner.
Chuckling to himself, Skye closed and locked the door behind him. A flash of light rippled over the wooden surface as the silencing wards engaged.
“Where are you going?” he asked when he turned to see Taly sitting in one of the overstuffed chairs in front of the fireplace, preparing to pull on her boots.
“Downstairs,” she said as she undid the buckles. “It’s late, and I’m done with this day. I’m going to go find a place to bunk.”
Muttering under his breath, Skye tiredly shuffled over to her chair in front of the fireplace, placing a hand on either side of her. When he leaned down to look her in the eye, he was again overcome with an almost violent need to feel her lips pressed against his.
“Or,” he drawled, forcefully suppressing the powerful feelings that welled up inside him unbidden, “you could just stay here. I promise I won’t bite—unless you bite first, of course. Then I promise nothing.”
She tilted her head, her eyes never leaving his as she considered his proposal. A slow smile began to emerge, and when the tip of her tongue darted out to lick at her lips, it took every ounce of strength he had not to close the distance. Their faces were just inches away, their noses almost touching. It would be so easy to just…
Without preamble, she gave him a sharp, unexpected shove, and he stumbled back.
“Thank the Shards!” Taly hopped up out of her seat. Then, sprinting across the room, she threw herself onto the ornately carved bed.
“Huh?” Skye knew that he looked slightly dazed as he watched her stretch out on the bed, her hair fanning out across the wine-colored damask of the coverlet like a river of gold, but he didn’t particularly care.
Taly’s eyes followed him as he slowly stalked across the room. “Unlike some,” she said, unaffected or maybe just ignoring the hungry look in his eyes, “I don’t just jump into people’s beds uninvited. That’s called manners, Em. But then again… ”
Her breaths grew shorter and more rapid, the generous swell of her breasts rising and falling beneath the thin fabric of her shirt, as he placed a knee on the side of the bed. Taking his time, he stretched out beside her, getting just a little too close to still be considered strictly friendly . He wanted to crowd her, to push her. He wanted to see how far she was willing to take whatever the hell was happening between them. Knowing Taly, she wouldn’t hesitate to slap him back into place if he stepped out-of-line. But she didn’t. Her cheeks once again flushed a very fetching shade of rosy pink, and her body tensed beside him.
“But then again?” Skye prompted, propping himself up as he began to toy with a stray lock of her hair. The golden strands were mostly dry now and felt like silk between his fingers.
“Well…” Taly licked her lips, drawing his eyes down. And for the first time, he noticed the way she had started fidgeting with the pendant around her neck—a seemingly insignificant gesture, but one he knew well. She was nervous. Maybe even scared. That tiny epiphany was enough to break through the haze of lust clouding his better judgment.
“It’s cold and raining outside,” she said hesitantly. “A soft bed is far preferable to having to bunk down in wet hay with 150 of my new closest friends. Even if it does have you in it.”
Skye laughed, a throaty, rumbling sound that vibrated his chest. Even if his body was screaming at him to take this woman immediately and without hesitation, he needed to pull back. Yes—he wanted her. He could at least be honest with himself about that at this point. But he was forgetting one very important thing—she was completely inexperienced.
As that small yet critical detail surfaced in his mind, he realized he would have to slow down—at least for tonight. The part of him that was still thinking clearly knew that this was neither the time nor place to be making overtures. It would be too easy to go too far too fast, and he couldn’t mess this up. Not with her.
With an exaggerated yawn, Skye collapsed next to her and buried his face in the pillow, smiling when he heard her sigh in what a part of him desperately hoped was disappointment. “Sleeping next to me is preferable to sleeping in a barn with hundreds of strangers. I suppose that’s high praise coming from you.”
Taly shrugged noncommittally as she sat up and pulled the blanket over them. Skye’s shoulder started protesting, and he was once again struck with just how much he hated not being able to use his magic. He wriggled, trying to get comfortable, but the fabric of his shirt tightened around his wounds uncomfortably. With a growl, he ripped the offending garment over his head and turned to lie on his back.
Taly eyed him in irritation. “Really?”
Skye reached out and pulled her across the bed. She gave a startled squeal, but she didn’t fight him. “This is technically my bed, so I get to set the rules. The dress code is clothing-optional .”
“You’re such an ass,” came her muttered reply as she curled into his side, apparently not nearly as upset by his half-clothed state as she let on.
“I have one of those, yes,” Skye said with a smirk. “And while it’s very flattering that you think it should define me, I do have other charms.”
She was quiet for a moment. Just when Skye thought she had already drifted off to sleep, she asked, “What would you have regretted if you died today?”
“What kind of question is that?” Skye asked, slightly taken aback by the sudden change in topic.
Taly snuggled even further into his side, resting her head against his chest. Her fingers began tracing the lines tattooed beneath his collarbone. “It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot since the harpy. What I would’ve regretted. Funnily enough, it wasn’t the things I did. It’s what I didn’t do. The risks I didn’t take.”
“I get that.” Looking down at the blonde head of tangled hair, Skye felt his chest tighten uncomfortably. After today, he knew exactly what he would’ve regretted. “I guess… well, there’s this girl…”
Taly chuckled softly. “Just one?”
Skye resisted the urge to thump her on the nose. “ Yes —just one. Trust me, where she’s concerned, one is all I can handle.”
“This must be some girl then.” A wide yawn cut her off, and she stretched her legs, tangling her feet with his.
“She is,” Skye agreed readily. “She really is. I just never saw it before. I don’t know when my feelings for her started to change, but they did. And today made me realize that I would regret not taking the chance to find out if she feels the same way. Even if I just end up making a fool of myself in the end.”
“Please tell me this dream girl of yours isn’t Jezebel.” Taly’s words were starting to slur. She was already half-asleep, the exhaustion of the day finally settling upon her .
“It’s not Jezebel ,” Skye replied with a snort. “And that’s still not her name, by the way.”
“Says you,” Taly mumbled almost petulantly in her half-conscious state.
“This girl puts Jezebel to shame,” Skye whispered, knowing full well that Taly probably wouldn’t remember this part of their conversation come morning. “Hey, Tink?”
“Hmm?” With great effort, Taly turned her head to blearily stare up at him.
Reaching out, Skye tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, gently thumping her on the nose when her eyes began to droop. “I’m never letting you get away from me ever again. You’re stuck with me now.”
She gave him a sleepy smile as she draped an arm across his waist and pulled him closer. “Good,” came her breathy reply as her eyes finally closed in sleep.