Page 43 of Shaken and Stirred (Bottle Service Boys #1)

For whatever reason, my bumbling apology seemed to work for him. He gave me a half-smile. “There’s a small chance I was a dick to you as well,” he said, copying my words from a few moments ago.

“Yeah, well, I know we like to one-up each other, but I think you’re going to have to concede the win to me here. I was by far the bigger asshole.”

“Yeah,” he said with a teasing glint in his eyes. “You were.”

We stared at each other across the table, both grinning. All around us, people carried on with their lives, enjoying breakfast, chatting, and working. But we might as well have been completely alone for all the attention we paid anyone outside the bubble of our table.

I reached out and covered his hand with mine, where his rested on the tabletop. Never before had I felt the need to have a physical connection with someone, but the second he flipped his palm and wrapped his fingers around my hand, my heart steadied.

“Last night was amazing—”

Alex grunted. “The last part was amazing. The rest…”

I shook my head. “No, the whole thing. I really liked helping you out last night. We solved a problem together. We worked as a team. You let me in and let me see parts of your life no one else does. It was special.” My cheeks heated as the words left my mouth, and I averted my gaze, finding something very interesting on the top of my sandwich.

For all I know, he’d laugh and call me childish for interpreting things in such a way.

“Ryder, look at me,” he said in a soft tone I’d yet to hear from him. “I felt the same way the night you talked to me about changing your career goals. Special, I mean.”

We stared at each other for a few moments, probably looking like two fools mooning over each other.

“So now what?” he asked.

“Now, we hang out more alone . And we learn more about each other. Maybe we learn everything about each other.” I held my breath, realizing just how much I wanted to be with him.

“I…” He swallowed. I loved the way his throat moved and would have loved to lick over his Adam’s apple as he did it. Maybe he’d let me later. He stroked his thumb over my wrist, raising thousands of goose bumps along my arm. “I think that sounds perfect.”

Pounds of tension whooshed from me in a long exhale. His agreement made me feel like I could fly out of my seat and soar above the entire city.

My smile hurt my damn cheeks.

“And we fuck.” His voice dipped to the seductive tone I’d heard from him last night. “We fuck a lot.”

I groaned as my dick responded to the enticing statement. “Yes. We definitely do that. A lot.”

“So…”

The smooth pad of his thumb continued to draw circles on my wrist. Somehow, it soothed and ramped me up at the same time. I wanted to reach across the table and kiss the hell out of him. “So?” I asked.

“Does that make us…”

I arched an eyebrow.

He rolled his eyes. “I mean, I’m not interested in anyone else, so I guess I’m asking if we’ll be exclusive.”

“Yes,” I answered so fast he snorted a laugh.

“Okay then.”

“Is that what you want?” I held my breath, not daring to disrupt the air around us until I got the answer I wanted.

He nodded. “Yes. I’m feeling a little possessive where you’re concerned.”

Damn, that was nice to hear. “Same. I almost punched a customer at the club last night for staring at your ass. Not that I can blame him. Your ass is a work of art.”

That had Alex rolling his eyes again, this time with an adorable flush to his cheeks. “Last question, does that make us…”

“Boyfriends?” My heart fluttered at the word. Why did it sound so good falling from his lips?

His face scrunched as though he’d gulped sour milk. “Does that sound stupid?”

Hell, no, it didn’t sound stupid. I shook my head. “No. Not stupid. I think it sounds pretty damn good. I’ve never had an official boyfriend. Hookups and a few fuck buddies, but nothing more.”

“Me neither.” A glimmer of teasing shone from his eyes as he smirked. “Unless you count Jared Poznic, who I dated for three days in the seventh grade.”

I laughed hard. “No. We’re not counting that fucker, whoever he is. I like the idea of being your first.”

“Hey, don’t knock that special time in my life. For half a week, we were super serious. He carried my books to class and everything,” Alex said with a wink.

God, I loved it when he shed his rigid outer shell and got playful with me.

When he let down his guard and allowed me to see the man he shielded from everyone else.

Sure, he laughed, joked, and smiled with his VIP customers at Top Shelf, but now that I’d spent enough time with him to see beneath his hard exterior, I realized what a performance he put on at work.

None of those smiles were real. They were an act to garner tips. We all did it.

“Fine,” I said with an exaggerated sigh. “Guess I’ll have to settle for being your second. At least I know I’ll be the best.”

Instead of laughing like I’d been going for, he grew serious. “Yeah, I think you will be.” He climbed out of his side of the booth and scooted in next to me.

Being a table designed for two, we barely fit on the single-occupant bench together.

Not that I minded, he could press up against me anytime he wanted.

Alex rested his chin on my shoulder and whispered, “I’m sorry for screaming at you last night when you came into my house.

Last night would have been horrible if you weren’t with me, and I repaid you by being an asshole. I’m sorry.”

I turned my head until our lips were almost touching. “It’s okay, Alex. I’m not mad.” Sitting this close with his hand on my thigh, it was impossible for my body not to react. I wanted him. My cock wanted him and grew accordingly.

“I was embarrassed.” Though no one was close enough to eavesdrop on our conversation, he spoke low as though he didn’t want the universe to overhear. “Our lives, our worlds are so different, Ryder. You have so much, and I’m a mess. I have noth—”

I kissed him. Not the wild, hungry kind of kiss I’d have taken were we alone, but a soft press of my lips to his meant to stop him from disparaging himself.

“I don’t want things from you, Alex. I just want you.

Things I can get. I’ve always had things .

But I haven’t had you, and that’s what I want.

Just you. Okay?” Maybe I was already getting better at this sharing-my-feelings thing.

“Ryder…”

We kissed again. And once more.

“Yes, my family has money,” I said when we broke apart.

“We have stuff. That doesn’t mean we’re not a fucking disaster in other ways.

I know the things I harassed you about in the past make it seem like I look down on you and your family, but I don’t.

Alex, I respect the hell out of you for all you do for your family.

You carry so much on your shoulders, and while they are big, strong, and very sexy, they must be getting tired. ”

“I have a lot of responsibilities. If I don’t work, we don’t eat.

My mom has medical bills, equipment, and tons of doctors’ appointments.

My brother…” He shrugged. “Well, you met him. They take up so much time. I might have to cancel plans on a moment’s notice or miss out on them altogether.

What happens when you get tired of my obligations? ”

The vulnerability in his voice was like a knife to my heart. “Is that what happened with your father?”

“Yeah. He fucked off exactly one week after my mom was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I was ten, sitting at the breakfast table. She’d fallen the previous day because of weakness in her leg.

I couldn’t get her up by myself, so I called him to come home from work.

He came, but the next day, while I was eating breakfast, he came out of his room with a bag over his shoulder.

He told me he’d signed up to be a husband, not a nurse.

Then he ruffled my hair and walked out the door. Haven’t seen him since.”

“Jesus.” How did his family survive so much devastation at once?

I’d wondered why his mother used a wheelchair but didn’t know if I should ask.

His opening up on his own felt incredible.

I turned, as much as possible, wedged between the wall and Alex’s hard body.

Our food and coffees were forgotten as we focused on each other.

Now that we were deep in a serious conversation, I wish we’d stayed in my apartment.

This way I could tackle him back into my bed and tell him how serious I am about us with true privacy.

“I can promise you I am not that man. And I know words are just… words. But I’m coming into this with my eyes wide open, Alex.

Your family is important to you and requires a lot of your time and attention.

But that’s what makes you, you. It’s what makes you honorable, trustworthy, and so damn special.

I hope that we’ll grow closer, and I’ll become an important part of your life, which means I’ll share the load with you.

Not today. I realize that will require a lot of trust on your part, but someday. ”

His brow wrinkled in confusion, and I couldn’t help but reach out to smooth a finger down his forehead. “But… why? We’re not your problem, Ryder. Why take this all on, knowing it could be hard at times? You could hook up with anyone.”

Well, that was an easy one. “Because you’re worth it, Alex. Yes, I can hook up easily, not with anyone…” I shrugged. “But sure, without sounding too arrogant, I don’t usually have a problem finding someone to hook up with.”

He chuckled and squeezed my hand. “Don’t start pretending you’re not arrogant now.”

“You know what I can’t do easily?”

He tilted his head and searched my eyes.

“I can’t find someone I connect with. Someone I can hook up with again and again and have it be better each time, and when we’re done, want to see that person across the table at breakfast. Or be excited to work with them at night.

Or want to do whatever I can to make their life easier.

Or want to learn every single thing about them and have them know everything about me. ”

“Ryder… shit,” he said with a watery laugh. Then he pressed a hand to his chest. “You’re taking my damn breath away.”

My heart soared as I leaned in. “So, we’re doing this?” I whispered.

“We’re doing this.”

Alex grabbed the front of my shirt and sealed the deal with a kiss that probably made half the café blush.