Page 84 of Shadows Within

Someone barges into the room. It’s too dark to see him. Professor Elliot is pulled off from on top of me and a fight breaks out between the two of them. Once the perpetrator is taken away with the other two that were with him, the fourth man comes over to me. His hood is up as he stands over me. Something cool runs across my face and I drift to sleep.

I wake up and my head is pounding. My hair sticks to my face in the hot air. I can’t spot anything that I recognize. The walls are a deep red, and I’m on an unfamiliar bed. I pat my clothed body down. My ears ring as I sit up. A small light shines in the corner of the room and I spot a closed door. I look around for my phone and find it on the floor. Tears run down my face. I bend over, grab my phone, then lunge for the door. Something doesn’t feel right. My legs ache. I don’t remember coming here.

I open the door and hear the loud music. I’m still at the party.

I stand outside of Professor Elliot’s office. My hands shake as I open the door.

“It was you.”

He’s slow to lift his head from the paper he’s grading.

“What was me?” He doesn’t look phased. While I’m spiraling on the inside, he sits there in his perfectly paired shirt and styled hair, like he has it all together.

“That night, I remember. It was you.”

“What night, Scarlett? You’re going to have to be specific.”

“Don’t act stupid!” His silence lights a fire deep within me. “The night you tried to rape me!”

He adjusts his glasses. “Scarlett, I must say, I’m really disappointed. I would never expect this from you of all people.”

“How did you do it?” I won’t let him make me think that I’m crazy.

“I expect this from a couple of women in the class who can’t keep up, but blackmail? Scarlett...really?” He sounds annoyed.

“How did you fucking DO IT!” I yell.

He gets up from his desk, slowly circles around, then leans against it. Leaving only a few feet between him and me. Scents of citrus and cinnamon fill the air.

“What do you think you remember?” He slowly looks me up and down with his arms crossed, waiting for an answer.

“You on top of me. Then someone coming in before you were able to do anything.” My voice doesn’t shake but it stings to get the words out—it’s the first time I’ve said them out loud.

“Are you sure that wasn’t just a dream? Hmm? Are you sure it’s not just something you want to happen, so you made it up?”

“No, I remember. There were other people there.”

“Oh, let’s go ask them then.”

I scan the office, embarrassed. I really shouldn’t have come here alone. I feel like an idiot.

“I don’t remember them. I didn’t see their faces.”

“Oh, isn’t that a coincidence that you saw my face but not theirs? It almost sounds like maybe you aren’t telling the truth. Or maybe, your trauma has recreated this in your head.” He takes a beat. “Trauma can do that, Scarlett. It can recreate memories in your head to fit what you want to see. It’s okay, I won’t hold it against you.”

I fight back the tears in my eyes.

“No, I know. I remember. It was you, and everyone is going to know.” I feel defeated.He can’t be right, can he?

“No one will know, because you can’t go around spreading rumours that aren’t true. It would be unbecoming of you when you’re about to graduate and get into a master’s program. No one would want to work with someone who lies about their colleagues.”

“But it’s not a fucking lie!”

He takes a step toward me.

“Do you know why I wear this cologne, Scarlett?” The scent causes memories to flood in. “All you tacky fucking women love it. There’s something about this mediocre scent that makes you pathetic women drawn to me. It was the first thing you noticed in my class. I could tell by the way you looked up at me on your first day in my lecture, like something caught your attention.”

I look to the door, just realizing that I shut it on my way in. He steps in closer. My heart beats faster.