Page 27

Kieran

I shouldn't be here.

The thought loops through my mind, but the bond doesn't care. It pulls with relentless insistence, dragging me toward her like a tide I can't escape. Every instinct screams at me to give her space, to let her process what I've done without my presence poisoning the air further.

But I can't stay away.

I keep to the shadows beyond the garden, hidden among the twisted trees that somehow still grow in this corrupted place. The sanctuary's dim torches flicker over the impossible oasis where Kaia sits with Finn, golden light catching in her hair, dancing across the restless movement of her shadows.

She doesn't push him away when he settles beside her.

Doesn't tense or retreat.

She leans into him.

Something sharp twists in my chest—not jealousy, exactly, but something rawer. More complicated .

At first, it's subtle. A whisper of warmth creeping through the bond, easing the rigid tension that's held my shoulders locked since the Hall.

The relief isn't mine—it's hers. Kaia's emotions trickle through our connection like water through cracked stone, and despite everything, despite the fury I can still taste at the edges of her consciousness, there's something else.

Contentment.

The warmth spreads through me, settling in places I didn't realize were cold. For a moment, I almost forget why I'm lurking in the shadows like some lovesick fool, because feeling her at peace, even if it's not because of me, is worth the ache in my chest.

But then the bond shifts.

Her emotions deepen, intensify. Affection bleeds through the connection, soft and genuine, followed by something that makes my breath catch.

Want.

It starts as a flutter, barely noticeable, but it builds with each passing second. Heat spreads through my stomach as Kaia's desire flows through the bond, and I have to grip the bark of the nearest tree to steady myself.

She's not thinking of me.

The realization hits hard, but the bond doesn't care. It forces me to feel every flutter of her pulse, every spark of attraction she feels for the man beside her. My body responds like her desire is my own—muscles tensing, breath coming shorter, hardening with want that isn't mine to claim.

I should leave. Should tear myself away from this torment and let her have this moment without my unwanted presence contaminating it.

But I can't move.

Finn's hand finds her face, gentle and sure, and even from this distance I can see the way Kaia melts into his touch. The bond thrums with her anticipation, with the growing heat between them, and my treacherous flesh betrays me completely.

Then Finn kisses her.

The bond explodes.

A sound rips from my throat—half growl, half groan—as the full force of Kaia's pleasure crashes through me. My knees buckle, and I catch myself against the tree, bark splitting beneath my grip as I fight to stay upright.

The connection is merciless. Every sensation Kaia feels becomes mine—the warmth of Finn's lips, the way her heart races, the liquid heat that pools in her belly. My vision blurs as arousal slams through me, my body responding to her pleasure like it's my own touch bringing her such joy.

I can't breathe. Can't think. Can only feel as the bond forces me to experience every second of her choosing someone else.

Heat coils at the base of my spine, muscles going rigid as I fight against the overwhelming rush of sensation. My pulse hammers so hard I can feel it in my skull, and the ache between my legs becomes almost unbearable.

This is what I've reduced myself to. Standing in the shadows, getting off on the woman I love kissing another man.

"Well, that's fucking pathetic."

I whirl around, heart slamming against my ribs, my body still betraying me even as I try to compose myself.

Malrik stands a few feet away, arms crossed, silver eyes gleaming with sharp amusement as he takes in my disheveled state. Of course he followed me. Of course he'd witness this humiliation.

I clench my jaw, forcing my breathing to steady, willing my body to stop reacting to emotions that aren't mine .

He smirks, but there's no warmth in it. "Are you really going to stand here and get off watching her kiss someone else?"

A snarl tears from my throat before I can stop it, golden magic crackling around me in warning. But Malrik doesn't flinch. He never does.

"You're feeling it, aren't you?" His voice is conversational, almost curious. "Every second of what she feels for him."

I don't answer. What could I possibly say?

His laugh is low and cutting. "This is rich. The great Kieran, brought low by a bond he forced into existence."

"Shut up, Malrik." The words come out rougher than intended.

"Why? Not enjoying the connection right now?" He takes a step closer, shadows writhing around his feet. "That bond you decided we all needed, whether we wanted it or not?"

The blood pounds in my ears, but I can still hear him perfectly. Still feel the lingering heat of Kaia's desire threading through my veins like poison.

"Tell me," Malrik continues, his voice dropping to something softer but infinitely more dangerous, "how does it feel knowing she's not just accepting Finn, but choosing him? Actively wanting him?"

I turn away, but there's nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide from the truth he's throwing at me.

"You really thought she'd always be yours, didn't you?" His words are surgical in their precision. "Thought if you waited long enough, fate would hand her back to you. That you wouldn't have to fight for her, wouldn't have to earn her."

The air feels too thin. I can barely draw breath past the tightness in my chest .

"You spent centuries waiting for her to be yours," Malrik says, and now his voice carries something almost like pity. "But did you ever stop to think that maybe you were supposed to be hers instead?"

The question lands like a blade between my ribs. Because the answer is no. In all my planning, all my certainty about destiny and bonds meant to be, I never considered that I might have to prove myself worthy of her choice.

I can still feel her through the bond. The lingering warmth of her joy, the satisfaction that comes from being truly seen and accepted. And none of it, not one single spark, is directed at me.

Malrik watches me for another moment, then shakes his head. "That bond was supposed to be your greatest strength. But right now? It's just your fucking curse."

He melts back into the shadows, leaving me alone with the wreckage of my assumptions.

I don't move. Can't move. My pulse still throbs painfully, my breath still comes in ragged gasps, and the ghost of Kaia's desire still burns through my veins like a fever I can't break.

The cold air does nothing to ease the ache.

Nothing can.

Because for all my waiting, for all my faith in what was meant to be, I never considered the one possibility that could destroy everything I'd built my existence around.

Kaia might not choose me at all.

And now I'll feel it all—every time she chooses someone who isn't me.