Page 4

Kyle

S team still clung to my skin as I stepped out of the shower, exhaustion settling into my bones like a heavy weight. All I wanted was to collapse onto the bed, let sleep drag me under, and forget the day's chaos. But just as I reached for the towel to wrap around myself, a sharp knock echoed through the room.

Figuring it was Match, because who else would it be, I didn’t bother looking up.

“It’s open!” I called, already moving toward my duffel. My muscles ached from the long day, and all I wanted was something soft and comfortable to sleep in. “I think today went well, don’t you?” I said absently as I dug through my bag, pushing aside neatly folded clothes in search of a pair of shorts and a tank top.

My civilian bag, the one with the good stuff, was a rare luxury. Unlike my work gear, these clothes were actually nice—soft fabric, rich colors, and lace-trimmed edges. Hell, even my underwear in here felt like a treat. I pulled out a pair of yellow boy shorts, the kind that fit just right, and made me feel like I had a semblance of normalcy in the middle of all this madness.

“I’m kinda impressed with how many of them know what they’re doing,” I continued, slipping the shorts on under my towel. “And did you see Jagger shooting today? That man’s got some serious skills.” I heard movement behind me, but Match wasn’t much of a talker, so I didn’t expect an answer. He usually just grunted or nodded, so he was a silent presence I’d grown used to. Still rummaging, I found a tank top and pulled it over my head, shaking out my damp hair. “Duke says they have a couple of usable rifles with scopes on them, so that should give us an advantage tomorrow night. Which group are you going in with?”

The silence stretched out with not even a grunt from Match. That was weird.

With a sigh, I decided to just let it go. “Just get into bed, Match?—”

“What the fuck?”

The voice that cut through the room wasn’t the one I was expecting. It wasn’t the usual low, indifferent response I expected either. No, this voice was sharp, rough, and pissed.

My stomach lurched as I spun around, so fast I nearly lost my towel. Standing just inside the doorway, arms tense at his sides, was Jagger. His eyes burned into me, a mixture of anger and something else I couldn’t quite place.

“Match?” He repeated, his voice tight, questioning, demanding.

Shit.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, gripping my towel tighter even though I was mostly dressed.

“I came to talk to you.” His jaw clenched tight as he explained and looked around the room. Then, with that same dangerous edge, he asked again, “Match?”

It took me a second to process, my mind sluggish from exhaustion. And then it hit me.

Oh! He thought Match was here. In my room. In my bed.

I swallowed hard. “Nightmares,” I explained, my voice quieter now.

Jagger’s expression flickered, his anger momentarily replaced with something else—confusion, maybe? His brows pulled together, and damn, even in the middle of a standoff, the man had good eyebrows.

“Nightmares?” he repeated, like he wasn’t sure he’d heard me right.

I nodded slowly, watching as the tension in his shoulders shifted, like he was recalibrating. Like he wasn’t sure whether to be pissed off or something else entirely.

And that? That was almost more terrifying than the anger.

“We both get them. So, after a mission, we stay in the same room to help each other.”

His face immediately softened, and he started walking toward me again. “I’m sorry, baby.”

It went against everything I believed to be affected by that one word, yet it managed to crack the concrete surrounding my heart. The guys treated me like one of their own, and unless someone was hitting on me, I rarely received that kind of attention. With Jagger, I couldn’t deny that I enjoyed it.

Shrugging, I went back to getting dressed, very aware of the hazel eyes watching every movement. “It happens to everyone.”

I’d just pulled the tank over my head when arms went around me from behind. Ever since the kiss earlier, I had moments of wondering what was going on with him, mixed with questions about whether I could trust him. I still wasn’t sure, but I tended to go with my gut, which didn’t usually steer me wrong. With this guy, it was telling me that I could trust him, but I would still proceed with caution until I was sure.

“What are they about?” He spoke softly into my neck, causing goosebumps on my arms.

“Shit that happens when we’re away, victims that we’ve failed,” I explained, making it as vague as I could. I wouldn’t tell him that I also had nightmares about the things that my mom had done to me and the moment that I’d found her after she... No, I didn’t think about that.

I felt his chin rest on my shoulder and the slow movement as he nodded. “When did you get this?” His hand swept down the phoenix tattoo on my side that I’d gotten after my first assignment as a ghost. It was on the opposite side of my injured ribs, which were screaming again after today, and represented the moment I’d become Kai and not the girl that I’d been before it—weak little Kyle.

“Just after I joined Indigo and became a Ghost.”

The tattoo started at the top of my thigh and twisted around my back, where the tail feathers transformed into waves. It covered the entirety of my back and was done by a friend of Hammer’s. I’d laid on that table for five hours while he worked to shade and create a masterpiece I admired daily. The tattoo helped ground me and also kept my defenses up. I wasn’t the same girl I had been before, she was long gone.

Additionally, I designed a piece during one of my military assignments, which I then had blown up to cover the center of my stomach. That tattoo was hidden for now as I held my hand firmly over the front of my tank top.

“It’s beautiful,” he murmured.

Turning around to face him, I tried to keep my face blank. “What are you doing here?”

Throughout my childhood and at work, I’d been surrounded by confident men who never balked at a question or showed embarrassment. It was just how it was. Now, watching Jagger try and answer this, something which would have struck me as almost weak if it'd been one of the Ghosts, seemed endearing as he opened and closed his mouth several times and rubbed the back of his neck.

Sighing, he tipped his head back to look up at the ceiling before looking back down at me. “I’ve grown up in this world. You know who my dad is?” It was a rhetorical question, everyone knew his dad. “I was an asshole until your dad took me on and helped me work my way to where I am today.” The implication that Preacher could be a motivational and helpful guy had me stiffening slightly, something which Jagger seemed to understand based on the sympathetic look that crossed his face. “Not once have I come across something special, Kyle, but in the last couple of days, I think I have. You.”

I was used to the typical bullshit that guys spewed when they wanted something, but for a guy in his position, he wouldn’t have to spin those tales normally. I didn’t engage in relationships because I had witnessed the pain and turmoil they could bring. I wasn’t jaded, nor was I na?ve enough to believe that all relationships were like that. I simply wasn’t willing to take the risk. As I watched Jagger closely, contemplating his next words, I observed the body language cues I had learned and relied on in my job. Unless he was a Hollywood actor, none of his signals suggested that he was being deceitful.

“Look, I like you, and I think you like me too.” He stood there, watching me for a sign that he was right. I gave him a brief nod and watched his shoulders visibly relax. “Can we…” he trailed off, reaching up to grab a handful of his hair as he struggled to find the words. I could have shown him some compassion, but I had never been in this situation before, and it didn’t seem like he had either. Then again, I was still exhausted, and the weight of the case we were working on and my concerns about Perry were heavy on my mind.

“Okay,” he obviously hadn’t expected me to say anything because he jumped slightly. This strong biker who took no shit in any area of his life was making himself genuinely vulnerable for me. I couldn’t let him tear himself up trying to explain it anymore.

His relief was palpable as he let out a breath, stepped toward me, and pulled me into a strong hug. I wasn’t a tactile person, and the team wasn’t either, so it took me a second to relax into it. The second I did, though, he softened as well.

Reflecting on my childhood, I realize that the only person who ever truly hugged me was Preacher, along with a few of the guys. My mother was abusive, a painful reality I tried to avoid reliving, especially after discovering her after she committed suicide. Her letter provided some context for her struggles with abuse and alcohol, but it did not excuse her actions. I could never condone what she’d done.

Shaking myself out of those thoughts, I pulled back from Jagger. "I need to sleep."

He nodded, but what shocked the hell out of me was the soft kiss he pressed against my forehead. It was a simple gesture, but it made something tighten deep in my chest.

"We have a busy day tomorrow, and you need to be ready to work your magic." The side of his mouth quirked up in a small, almost sweet smile that contrasted with the hardened edges of him. "Can I stay here tonight? Just to sleep," he added quickly, noticing the shift in my expression.

"I don’t know if that’s safe," I muttered, avoiding his gaze. I wasn’t worried about him—I was worried about me . If he knew just how deep my damage ran, would he still look at me the same way?

I wasn’t oblivious. I knew Jagger and the rest of the MC had likely pieced together parts of my past. Specifically, my childhood and the things I had endured. Hell, if I heard similar things about one of my teammates, I’d recognize the scars they carried. But that wasn’t even the tip of the iceberg when it came to my issues. No one came out of my line of work unscathed. The sad reality was, no military personnel did.

“I swear, I just want to build this,” he said, gesturing between us. “I’ve never had anything like this before, and I want to do it right.”

I swallowed hard. I appreciated what he was saying, really, but fuck, I was going to have to tell him.

“I get— I have problems when I sleep.”

His brows furrowed slightly. “How do you mean?”

Walking over to the bed, I sat on the edge, staring at the floor. I didn’tdothis. My team already knew, they didn’t need explanations and never had. Unless it affected my ability to do my job, I never had to explain myself to anyone. This was so fucking hard.

“I get nightmares,” I admitted, still staring at the floor, refusing to meet his gaze. I didn’t want to see pity. I hated pity.

My nightmares weren’t just about missions or the shit I’d seen in combat. They were also about the things thatcame before.

Jagger’s boots came into my line of sight, and then he squatted in front of me, his hands lifting to cup my face, forcing me to look at him.

“That’s understandable,” he said, his tone even, steady. “Duke showed us some of the shit y’all have had to do. And we’ve seen the footage from your time away. I get it.”

He said it so easily, like it wasn’t a big deal, but I knew better. We’dsee, because sometimes, my reactions weren’t just thrashing or waking up in a cold sweat. Sometimes, they wereviolen t .

Jagger studied me, something unreadable in his expression. “Is it just about that? Or is it about…you know?”

My whole body went rigid.

I could admit it to myself. And I was sure the guys knew that I had nightmares about her . But I wasn’t going to lay that shit bare for him .

Whatever he saw on my face made his mouth firm into a hard line. He nodded once, pushing to his feet, then held out his hand. “Let’s do this.”

I hesitated but eventually took his hand, leading him around to my side of the bed while he stripped down to his boxers. I wasn’t bashful. I had spent enough time around men, in situations where dignity and pride had to take a backseat to getting changed or cleaned up. Butthiswas different.

Because it was him .

As he pulled off his shirt, my eyes traced the ink covering his chest and shoulders. I knew his back bore the club’s patch, a permanent declaration of his loyalty. He was built solid, something I’d already gathered during today’s workout. But seeing him like this, muscles shifting under his skin, was an entirely different experience.

Once we were both settled, I decided to lay down some ground rules.

“I don’t spoon,” I warned. “If I wake up and you’re in my personal space, I will cause you pain.”

Jagger rolled over, turning off the light before shifting behind me with a sleepy sigh. “What?”

“Spooning,” I deadpanned. “Where your body heat melts the skin off my back, and I wake up thinking I’m burning alive.”

He snorted, then, to my horror, moved closer , pressing his chest against my back.

“So noted,” he murmured, amusement clear in his voice. “Just so you know, I’ve never actuallysleptwith a woman before. I’m a solo sleeper. Well, unless you count that time me and Gauge got wrecked and woke up where we’d passed out…fucking spooning.”

Iburstout laughing, unable to stop the mental image of Gauge, the massive beast of a man, wrapped around Jagger like a teddy bear.

“Photos?” I asked between laughs.

“What do you think?” he drawled.

Oh, there were photos.

MC members could act like aggressive assholes all they wanted, but no way in hell would they pass up an opportunity to capture a moment like that. Ihad to find them.

“Sleep, baby,” Jagger murmured. His voice was softer now, a little heavier with exhaustion.

Just before I let sleep take me, an image flickered through my mind—the baby face of the senator’s daughter. Tomorrow was going to be hell, we had to get her back because I knew exactly what would happen if we lost her trail.

And I couldn’t fail another baby.

JAGGER

I woke to the sensation of the bed jolting to the left, followed by a heavy thump and Kyle’s muffled groan. Whatever was happening had nudged her farther from me. Fumbling in the dimness, I reached over and switched on the lamp. The soft glow revealed Kyle gasping for breath, her arms tightly crossed over her face as she curled into a fetal position on her back.

I was about to reach across the bed to try and wake her up without scaring her when she screamed.

“No, Mom. Please stop.” She punctuated it with a wheeze, and her hands went to her neck.

A noise at the door took my attention from her, and I saw Preacher standing there with a look of murder on his face and his gun in his hand. Seeing that she was dreaming, there was an immediate shift from anger to sadness, but he remained where he was watching her.

“Mom, stop! Please, it hurts. My arm hurts.” Then came the gasping.

I glanced at Preacher, who was starting to make sense of what was happening to Kyle. By the tightness on his face, he realized that she’d suffered a measure of abuse at the hands of the woman who’d given birth to her. If the woman wasn’t already dead, he’d have killed her himself.

“Daddy, help me!” The final wail broke both of us.

Looking at me, he whispered through clenched teeth, “Find out. I want to know all of it. My fucking baby—” The last word came out as a croak as he turned around and, with one last glance over his shoulder at Kyle as I shook her gently awake, walked out and closed the door behind him.

There was a thump, and Tarp asked Preacher if he was okay before the footsteps walked away.

Watching Kyle as she woke up, tears streaming down her face, I saw the moment she realized she wasn’t in the dream and that she was safe. When she saw me looking at her, though, her face shut down, and she sat up and went to get out of bed. I couldn’t lose this moment with her, so I wrapped my arms around her from behind and moved so that my legs were on either side of her, with her back to my chest.

“Wanna talk about it?”

She was clammy and almost as hard as a rock as I held her, but I was adamant.

“Ah it’s nothing, just an old thing from a mission. It happens from time to time,” she shrugged. “Can I get up and go to the bathroom?”

The weight on my shoulders over what I was about to say was immense. Moving my head so that my forehead was against her shoulder, I took the leap.

“Your mom was on a mission with you?”

I’d expected her body to pitch forward, so I moved with her when it happened. I had no doubt that she could get out of the hold that I had her in if she wanted to, but Kyle didn’t cause unnecessary pain and damage to people. During training today, she could have a million times over, but she always held back.

“What the hell are you on about?” Her voice was almost brittle, given how tightly her jaw was clenched. “It was a flashback of this mission that had some shit happen, is all.”

“Baby, you were yelling about your mom and asking her to stop because it hurt. At one point, you called out for your dad.”

I’d expected a fight. I’d expected her to deny it or throw me out. I’d expected anything but what she actually did. It was like someone had suddenly drained her of everything as she collapsed back onto me and put her head in her hands. Taking her weight and listening to her shaky breaths in and out, I wanted to take the weight of what had happened, too. I didn’t doubt that what she did for a living stayed with her and that she’d seen things no one should see. If I could take one bit of weight from her, though, I would.

“She was so mean,” she croaked. “I would hide away from her or stay here, but it wasn’t ever enough.” I adjusted her so she sat sideways across my lap with her head on my chest. “I thought that if I could make Dad happy, I could maybe get away from her, ya know?” It was rhetorical, but I nodded my cheek against her head. “Nothing was ever good enough. She would tell me how evil Preacher was, how he sold little girls and other terrible things, and that he hated me. He was never around, which hurt even more and made me wonder if she was telling the truth. Then she got a baseball bat,” she paused and shuddered. I felt sick to my stomach but knew better than to interrupt her. “Dad would come home sometimes, and I’d be so bruised and sore that I’d hide in my room and pretend I was sick. There was even one time I had to walk on my own to the ER because I had a broken arm and bruises all over my body.”

“Jesus Christ!” The nearest ER when she was a kid would have been over an hour’s walk. And Preacher had been so close to finding out…

“Then the day happened,” she sounded almost robotic, like she’d locked that day away.

“Did you ever try to tell your dad?”

Her answer was just to shrug. I would bet my bike that the bitch had told her that he’d never listen or believe her, or she had threatened her in some way. Preacher was going to have a fucking shit fit over this, but I now understood why she had issues with him.

“I’m tired now,” she still didn’t sound like the Kyle I had come to know in such a short time.

There had been contradicting flashes of the woman who was pretty much a legend. On one hand, she was a kick-ass tactical ace who could take down anyone without blinking. Then, on the other, was this vulnerable woman who had never opened herself up emotionally apart from to her team. I was going to have to tread more carefully than I thought. The other issue was, how did I tell Preacher without breaking the trust she’d just placed in me?

I was about to move us so that we were lying down when she turned around and straddled my lap. The warmth of her pressed up against me almost made me groan.

I watched her as she held my face in both hands and looked into my eyes. Then, shocking the shit out of me, in a move that was tender and something that seemed so far away from the regular Kyle, she gave me a soft kiss.

“Thank you,” she murmured against my lips.

Wrapping her up tightly in my arms, I hugged her before moving us, so we were lying down again. After turning off the light, she went back to sleep almost instantly while I lay there trying to get my head around it all. Preacher was going to be nearly feral when I told him what I’d found out. I had to find a way to do it when Kyle wasn’t around because she’d know that I’d told him. I also had to find a way to get Kyle to forgive me when she did find out.

Then there was the secret that Preacher was still holding back from her. When had my life become so fucking complicated? Usually, the shit keeping me awake was the jobs we were doing and the people involved. That all still weighed on me, too, but now there was Kyle.

Fucking hell!