Page 26 of Shadows and Flames (Twin Blades #2)
Chapter Sixteen
MELINE
I released my half of our packs on the lumpy mattress as Tana did the same. The small cabin held a moderately sized bed, especially for a ship of this size, and a window that looked out on the darkening sky. Water lapped lazily against the hull, and heavy steps thumped overhead.
“If weather permits, we’ll make it to Vharas right on his heels. We need to close in as quickly as possible.”
Tana nodded and began to set aside her night clothes, checked her weapons. “Blackwood agreed to meet with us when we disembark, so at least there’s that. No telling what he’s arranged with the Shadows, though.”
Probably something similar. I chewed my lip, fingers fiddling with my unopened bag.
I wouldn’t be staying in here. Not really. But what did I even take with me to his room? Would we grow tired of each other on a weeklong journey?
Would he send me away when I finally built up the courage to tell him the whole truth?
I winced, shoving that sorrow away as best I could. I tried instead to focus on the flutter in my chest— something like life —at the thought of his arms wrapped around me. Now, within reach, were two things I’d longed for just a few short days ago—my Shadow in my arms again and a path to Francie.
“Fuck,” I wiped at my brow with the back of my hand.
Whitley was out there, worrying over their lost mate while I was losing my mind over Elián.
I was abandoning my cousin so I could spend the night in his bed, as he’d demanded.
“I should just stay here. Hopefully this will be over in just a few weeks’ time, and then I?—”
Tana clamped her hands over my shoulders, giving me a hearty shake.
“Leenie. No. Aside from the fact that I am quite looking forward to sprawling out in my own bed for a change, you won’t squander this chance by avoiding him.
That would be quite stupid of you, and that’s something you’ve never been. ”
“Who said I’m avoiding him? I—I shouldn’t abandon you. After all you’ve done? All you’ve sacrificed?”
My cousin pursed her lips a moment, searching my face with a familiarity bred by seeing the ugly insides of me time and time again. “Listen carefully. You are not abandoning me by taking this chance. And I need you to stop using me as a weapon to harm yourself.”
I flinched. Indignation rose quickly up my throat, to the tips of my fingers as I shoved her away. “What is that ? —”
Tana’s posture remained rigid while her expression swam with sorrow, irritation, and fucking pity .
She didn’t even try to hide it. “I’ve watched you whither, cousin mine.
We train and have fun, yes, but when light comes through,” she waved a hand to the small window on the wall, “you turn away. Claiming that you must focus on Francie. On me .”
I gaped, sputtered. “You’re…you’re blaming me because I care about you? That I’m trying to repay the favor? What sort of bullshit is that ?”
“See! Right there!” She pointed a finger at me, as if she knew just where the poison was.
“It is not a favor . We both fled Versillia. We both decided to not return to Nethras. To train and search for Francie because we want to help her and Whitley. You act as if I’m some lost puppy that’s attached herself to your heel. ”
I’d lost track of what was going on, how to get back on the path I was so accustomed treading with my cousin.
We didn’t—we didn’t argue . Bicker and tease sometimes—well, it was mostly her doing it—but that was the extent of our less than pleasant moments.
And even then, they ended quickly with a huff from me and a giggle from her.
I narrowed my eyes. “Is there something else you’re wanting to tell me? You’re not making sense.”
She sighed, frustration draining as her shoulders dropped. “Just…please stop using me as the list of reasons why you can’t . It’s nowhere near the truth, and I don’t like it.”
My lip began to tremble before I sunk my teeth into it, threatening blood. I was still unsure of what this meant. How this morning started with blue skies and ended in the belly of a ship, arguing with the one person I’d been able to depend on more than anyone else.
Tana sighed again and pulled me into her arms. But it felt forced. Was she finally over my shit, then? Was I just employing Elián to manage me now that Tana seemed fatigued with the role?
Before I could retort, burning oak and cinnamon prickled against my awareness a moment before the resounding knocks of a fist on our door.
My heart jumped, beating heavily against my chest, but I didn’t have time to refuse. To ask for another moment.
Tana hollered, “Come in,” while staring straight at me.
Fuck, his presence filled the room, forcing my back against the reality of what we did to each other.
In those days years ago and now, with his mango eyes landing straight on mine.
Neither of us had changed as we made the mad dash to book voyage on the only ship leaving Morova and headed for Vharas.
I was still wearing his clothes, and he still… looked like that. Without a word, Elián crossed the few steps to Tana and me. His hair brushed against me as he reached for my packs on the bed. Every last one of them.
All my life, bundled away in five leather bags.
Elián shouldered them as if they were filled with feathers, posture still ramrod straight. I breathed in his scent like the first inhale of a joint at the end of a long day. Heat in my throat, warming the dark crypt within my ribs.
He nodded at Tana, and she turned back to settling in, sending me off with a wave of her hand. Not even a glance.
“My queen?” His voice was the groan of wood breaking under an inferno.
I turned away from my cousin, obeyed her wishes in that regard to leave her be, and focused on my… the male I was still unsure of how to approach. These hours away as Tana and I had strategized left me fumbling.
My mouth opened and closed multiple times, trying to come up with something , but he just nodded toward the door, commanding me to follow as he left.
Now that I’d seen him again, felt him again, there was no letting the thread connecting us pull any further.
I trailed after Elián with some weak farewell to Tana, something about how we’d meet in the morning to discuss plans, but my thoughts were already with the male carrying my things down the corridor.
We went by other passengers who paid us no mind, too focused on their own journey to do more than a companionable nod.
And then I was in his room. One not unlike the one we’d just left, but reflecting a glimpse of how much coin he had at his disposal. A large bed secured to the floorboards, two windows and a small desk that overlooked the waves.
My throat was bone-dry as I croaked, “Where is your Shadow brother?”
Elián gently dropped my packs to the rug spread beside the bed. His earrings tinkled as he pivoted his head toward me. “Last I saw of him, he was being invited for supper with the captain.”
I choked on a—a laugh, and he echoed the noise, shaking his head. “Wow. He works fast.”
“He does. He has the cabin across the corridor and said that he was ‘bloody glad to be rid of me’ for the next few days.”
My lips continued to spread as I watched him. “Rid of you?”
His smirk dimmed, searching the cabin around us. “Yes. He…he took it upon himself to help me these past years. It is more time than we’ve spent together in decades.”
Help him. I swallowed and dared a step closer. Another and another until I could reach out and touch him. “I’m sorry.”
Elián killed the remaining space between us, grabbing my hips and pulling me into his chest. He planted his nose in the curls I’d tried my best to set to rights and breathed. My gloved hands met the anchor of his biceps.
“We have already apologized to each other. I would rather focus on this.” This , he emphasized with a tender kiss on my brow.
What was there to do but lean into his embrace?
I quickly abandoned the halfhearted attempt to keep from truly melting into him, releasing an embarrassing noise that some may say was a whimper.
Resting in the bare hollow of his throat was more than I deserved.
That light Tana had gone on about? I was basking in it.
Letting it carve itself in my memories, so when this all ended, I’d be able to run my fingers over the etchings.
“You are thinking loudly, my queen.”
Thinking and crying, but I tried my best to hide the evidence of tears in the blue fabric on his chest. Never in my dreams of Elián did I imagine him wearing color. But the blue made the amber and orange of his eyes brighter. Made the picture of him fuller.
“Not a queen anymore. Never was.”
He hummed, running his palms against my spine, caressing each dip and knot. “And yet, you’ve had me bowing to you since we met.”
“Oh, goddess,” I groaned and smashed my face further into him so that he could feel the noise in his veins. “Also not true. You broke my arms the first time we met, asshole.”
We shook but not with waves or an earthquake. It was the rumble of Elián laughing. “Yes. I did.”
The soft, deep noise persisted, reverberated into the cabin, and I enjoyed it. Like lying next to a roaring river. Hearing the breeze race over the sand on a hot day. If anyone bowed to the other, it would be me to him. So that he gave me only what he felt I deserved.
“I am so glad to have you in my arms, Meline,” he whispered after some time. And what was I to say to that?
Something stupid. Honest, but stupid. “You’re talking so much. And being so nice. I don’t know what to do.”
This time, he forced me to look at him, pulling back until my chin was trapped in the vise of his hand. The tip of his nose was not far from mine, the strands of his hair falling softly over his shoulders and brushing against mine. “Do not do . Just be. With me.”
I frowned, and he thumbed my lip that poked out at him. “What in the hell does that mean?”