Page 43 of Shadowing Charlotte

Chapter forty-three

Charlotte

T he car was deathly silent. No music. No conversation. Only the rumble of the engine as Alexander drove back to my house, clutching the steering wheel. I could tell he was pissed at me but all I could focus on was the fact that he'd said he loved me.

Alexander loved me…

The realization only made me feel guiltier about the discourse I'd caused. I hadn't meant to say anything. I'd been so wrapped up in their conversation that the words spilled from my lips without thought.

I clasped my hands together, nervously picking at the hem of my dress. The atmosphere on the way home was a stark contrast to our interaction on the way to the hospital, bleak and solemn.

Staring at the scenery, I ground my teeth together to keep my bottom lip from trembling.

I didn't want to cry, no matter how shitty I felt.

"Lex… I'm really sorry," I rasped, looking over at him.

My fingers shook as I tugged a string of thread from the fabric of my dress, trying to do anything to occupy my hands.

"I know, princess," he murmured, his eyes still staring straight ahead.

Alexander was so angry he couldn't even look at me.

That's when the tears finally spilled from the corners of my eyes.

I turned away, staring out the window at the trees and buildings we rolled past. When the tears dripped down my chin and hit my chest, I finally wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.

Once I started, though, I couldn't stop. Lex loved me, and I'd ruined our visit with his mother like an asshole. The harder I tried to hold it in, the more I cried. By the time we reached the stoplight that led into my neighborhood, I was silently sobbing, the tears streaming down my cheeks.

The moment Alexander pulled into the driveway, I flung the door open and fled the car, the silence unbearable. "Charlotte?" His voice followed me as I threw open the front door and curled up on the couch. "Charlie?"

I buried my face against one of the pillows, unable to look at him.

Guilt gnawed at my insides like a living thing, eating away at me, and the tears wouldn't stop.

"Charlie… Babe… Are you crying ?" he asked as he sank down on the couch beside me, the question a mix of irritation and curiosity, implying I had no right to be upset.

Maybe I didn't. But I couldn't change the way I felt.

"I said I'm sorry!" I sobbed, clutching the pillow.

"I know," he replied solemnly. "Look, I know it's not your fault, not entirely."

"It just came out!"

"I know, " he repeated. "It was an accident."

"So, why are you mad at me?" I sniffled. Lex chuckled and I felt him settle on the couch beside me.

"Charlie, I'm not mad at you, baby. I'm just mad at the situation," he explained, threading his fingers into my hair. I didn't know what to say, sniffling as I rolled over and buried my face in the soft material of his shirt.

"Did you mean it?" I asked in a small whimper. If I spoke any louder, I was sure I would start crying again.

"Mean what?" he asked.

"When you said you loved me?" I replied, my voice cracking as I finally dared to look up at him.