Page 59 of Shadowed Sins: Nitro

"I won a hundred thousand."

"That's not the point." She steps closer, close enough that I can see her pulse jumping at her throat. "You're coming undone."

"Maybe." The word scrapes out raw. "Can't have what I want so I'm taking what I can get."

"What do you want?"

The question hangs between us, loaded with days of accumulated need.

"You know what I want."

She moves closer, until we're almost touching. "Say it."

"You. I want you so badly I can't think straight. Can't eat. Can't sleep. Can't do anything but bet money I shouldn't touch because at least that rush lasts sixty seconds."

"Sixty seconds?"

"How long the high lasts. Then I'm right back to wanting you."

Something shifts in her expression. For one second, the mask slips and I see hunger that matches mine.

"Tomorrow you drive containers full of trafficking victims."

"I know."

"Can you do it? Can you deliver people to hell for this operation?"

"Not alone." I lean toward her, close enough to share breath. "But if you're in my ear? If I can hear you breathing? Then yeah. I can be the monster long enough to stop the real ones."

"That's dangerous thinking."

"Everything about this is dangerous." My hand moves toward her face, stopping just short of contact. "But I need you there. Need your voice keeping me human while I do inhuman things."

She mirrors my almost-touch, her fingers hovering near my cheek. "The team knows you're gambling again."

"They know I'm substituting. Can't touch you so I'm chasing the next best rush."

Her pupils dilate. "Jax..."

"I know. We can't. Not yet. Not until—"

"Not until this is over." Her voice cracks. "Not until we know who lives through this."

The admission hangs between us, that one or both of us might not survive what's coming.

"I'll be in your ear tomorrow," she says, pulling back but keeping her eyes locked on mine. "Every second. Every breath. I'll keep you human while you drive through hell."

"And after?"

"After, we figure out if there's anything left of us worth saving."

She turns to leave, then stops at the roof access door. "Don't bet any more money tonight, Jax."

"Why?"

She looks back, and for one second I see raw hunger that matches mine. "Because tomorrow you're going to need all that reckless energy."

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