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CHAPTER FOURTEEN

By the time we got back to the office, Sophia had lunch waiting for us. She’d ordered in a variety of Chinese takeout from Mama Chang’s, a Chinese restaurant near our office. She’d also ordered a fruit platter and pastries from a corner grocery mart.

When Penn followed me in, Sophia rushed over to give her a hug.

“Thank the gods.” She gave her the once over. “What do you need?”

“Food. A shower. The feeling of safety,” Penn said, trying to laugh, but the next moment, she broke down. “I thought they were going to kill me.”

“Lock the front door,” I told Sophia. “Let’s eat, and talk about this.”

Sophia locked gazes with me, then softly asked, “Do you want me to make an appointment with Seton for you?”

I nodded. She could sense the demon on me. “This afternoon, if you can.”

“Right.” With that, she hurried back to her desk as we filed into the breakroom.

I grabbed the tissues and handed them to Penn, then washed my hands and face. Dante, Carson, and Orik washed up, and—as Sophia returned—we settled down at the breakroom table.

“I have an appointment for you at two,” Sophia said.

“Thanks,” I said, still shaky.

My inner demon seldom ever came out, but each time, she felt stronger. With my demonic powers emerging, that side of myself was growing more dangerous and it was imperative that I learn how to control her and direct the energy.

I turned to Penn. “So tell us what happened.”

“I’m still in shock. I don’t know why they kidnapped me,” she said. “At first, I thought it was because of the portal I watch over, but they didn’t ask me a single thing about it. They didn’t ask me anything. Several times during the past couple days, someone came in and…”

“And?” I asked, spooning a big scoop of fried rice onto my plate. I added some potstickers and an eggroll.

Penn stared at the food. “I’m so hungry,” she said.

“They gave me food but not a lot of it.” After she filled her plate, she added, “And…I don’t remember.

There’s more, but I seem to have either blocked it out or…

I just don’t know. I think I faded in and out throughout the time I was there.

I do remember asking them what they wanted, over and over, and the man who seemed to be in charge kept telling me to shut up.

I tried to use my magic, but something prevented it. ”

“There was an anti-magic spell cast in the basement,” Orik said.

I held out a picture of Jiles Smithson. “Is this the man you’re talking about?”

Penn nodded. “That’s him. He’s not the one who broke in, but he’s the man who kept checking on me.”

“Would you recognize the kidnappers?”

She frowned. “Maybe. I didn’t get a good look at them, but I think it was two men. They had masks on, though.”

Something felt off. I didn’t think Penn was lying, but I had there was something she wasn’t telling us.

Or that she couldn’t tell us. “Why don’t we eat?

We can discuss everything after lunch, after you’ve had a chance to clean up.

But there are other things we have to tell you and I’m not sure what you’re going to think,” I added.

Penn stopped mid-potsticker. “What’s going on? Tell me now, please.”

I didn’t want to tell her this, but she had to know, and the sooner, the better. “I went to see the Crystal Court, to ask for their help. Duran got me an audience.”

Penn froze. “And…?”

“And they’ve kicked both you and Duran out of the Crystal Court. They refused to help me rescue you, and they said you’re…”

“Just say it.” She stared at her plate, pursing her lips.

“They consider you a liability because of your half-Fae nature, and because of your connection with me.” I sighed, feeling like I’d kicked her when she was down.

After a moment, she took another bite of food.

Then she said, “Fuck them. Fuck them and the horse they rode in on. No matter where I go, my bloodline seems to be the only thing that matters. I’m done.”

“Well, there’s something they should know,” I said. “The man who kidnapped you and kept you in his restaurant is a member of both Brim Fire and of the Crystal Court. His name is Jiles Smithson.”

Penn pensively stared at her food. Then, she exploded jumping out of her chair.

“They’ve put me in an untenable position.

They cut me loose, kick me out of the Crystal Court!

They say I’m a liability. And now I find out there’s an informant on the inside?

Part of me wants to let them burn—let them find out on their own.

I’m not loyal enough to be part of the court, and yet they allow a member of Brim Fire to walk right in without checking on his background? ”

She marched over to the counter, leaning against it, her head down as she rocked back and forth. She turned around, white faced.

“I’m so conflicted. I know I should tell them, but why? Why bother? They can’t keep order in the ranks, they become more adversarial every day, and then they blame me for problems they created! They can go fuck themselves.”

“You don’t mean that—” Carson started to say, but she turned on him.

“Oh yes I do mean that! Why should I bother helping them out when they’ve tossed me out of my ass? And left me to the whim of a bunch of lunatic kidnappers?”

Nobody said anything for a moment. Finally, I said, “You might want to talk to Hecate.”

“Oh, I will.” Penn sat down again, aimlessly biting on an eggroll. “You said Hecate helped you get me back? At least she trusts me.”

I nodded. We told her about Hecate’s visit.

Penn’s eyes shone. “She came here because of me ?”

“She did,” I said. Penn needed some validation and what better proof than to know her goddess valued her service so much.

“That helps,” she said. “I still wonder why Brim Fire targeted me.” She yawned, then pushed her plate back. “I’m so tired and sore. I need to lie down.”

“We have a cot in the back,” I said. “What about if I hire a masseuse?—”

“There’s no need to hire one,” Sophia said. “I can work those knots out, if anybody can.”

Penn gave her a tired smile. “Thanks. I’ll happily take you up on it.”

“Come then, let’s get you some rest and then, when you wake up, I’ll try to work out some of those kinks.” She led Penn out of the room.

We kept a daybed in the storage room, cordoned off by screens, for times when one of us might need to pull a night shift. As the pair left the room, I tried to figure out what it was I was missing. Because something had been left unsaid.

When Penn was out of earshot, I said, “There’s part of the equation missing. If they didn’t ask her about the portal, what were they after? Why were they keeping her there?”

“I don’t know. Did you notice that she was pretty vague?”

“Maybe she really doesn’t remember everything,” Carson said.

Dante shook his head. “I don’t trust this. They weren’t keeping her there for decoration, and we received no ransom demands. Terrance says he didn’t know, either.”

“Speaking of Terrance, what do we do with him?” I asked. “We can’t keep him locked away.”

“I don’t know.” Dante said. “Don’t you have an appointment this afternoon?”

I glanced at my phone. It was one-thirty. “I have to be at Seton’s in half an hour. Hold down the fort till I get back,” I said, gathering my things. “Carson, take the rest of the day. Go hang with your sister. We’ll call you if anything else comes up.”

“Thanks boss,” he said, and headed for the door with me.

* * *

As I drove to Seton’s office, I wasn’t sure exactly what to say.

I let my demon out again and she went postal on a vampire?

But then again, said vampire had been about to kill two young boys.

Regardless, though, I knew I needed better control than I was managing, and it was time to dive into deeper issues.

Seton Anthony looked younger than Carson, though not as hip.

He looked like the geeky nerd cousin or brother, but I had a feeling he was far older.

He was one of the most eminent demon-specialists in the world, focusing on both the study of Demonkin, and healing those with demon blood.

Our anatomy was different in several substantial ways.

He motioned toward the chair. “So, what’s going on?” He paused, then said, “You let your demon out.”

“Today, yes.” I told him about what had happened.

“Do you think you could have restrained her? Could you have kept her from emerging?”

I thought about it. I wanted to say no, but I wasn’t sure how true that is. “I’m not sure. I want to automatically jump to nope , but the truth is, I have no idea. Maybe. I think the question’s more: did I want to keep her from emerging?”

“How so? Tell me about it,” Seton said.

I thought for a moment before answering.

“Those kids—the boys. They were so afraid I think one peed his pants. They probably thought they were going to saunter down, play it cool, maybe prove what bad asses they were. And then these four vampires come along, and boom, they’re facing the end of their short lives. ”

“Rogue vamps?”

“Most likely. The majority of vampires don’t log kills now, not if they belong to the Vampire Federation, but these four…I don’t think they would have stopped at drinking from the boys. I think they were out for fun. They would have tortured the boys, then killed them. Or turned them. I saw red.”

“Do you feel you could have solved the problem without turning into your demon?” Seton asked.

That, I could answer. “No. I don’t think they would have backed off and then at least one of us would have been hurt.

I’ll be honest. I don’t regret killing the woman vamp.

I do, however regret not making a conscious choice.

I want the choice , Seton—I want the choice to let her emerge. ” I leaned forward. “How do I do that?”