Page 27

“But… only if you see me for who I am. To judge me on my actions and words now and not on my past mistakes,” I tell her.

Robin’s eyes soften and she steps forward and wraps me in a hug. “Deal.”

We head toward the group of girls, and I spot Stacey immediately. She glances over and spots me, flinching back and turning away.

Robin sees who I’m glaring at and nods her head. “Your mates might have also given everyone a warning not to come near you. I think something was mentioned about ripping their heads off.”

That sounds like them. But also… “I can take care of myself,” I tell Knox.

He answers immediately. “Of course you can, baby.”

“I told you I was going to deal with it,” I grit out.

“And you are,” he says with a calm, reassuring tone. It annoys the fuck out of me.

“I’m going to stab you,” I promise him.

“I’m all up for foreplay,” he answers with a chuckle.

Robin rounds me with a frown. “Why do you look like you’re about to murder someone?”

“I’m thinking about it,” I tell her and hear Knox bark out a laugh in my head.

“The only way you’re going to kill me is if you smother me with your thighs,” he says, his voice husky.

I choke on air, and Robin looks at me like I’ve finally lost it.

We come up beside the other girls, and I glare at Stacey’s head, daring her to look at me. But she doesn’t even turn around, choosing to look in the other direction.

A couple of older male Shadows walk up to us a minute later.

“It’s been decided that your companions and…

” his eyes flicker to mine, “Mates, will continue with your training instead. The obstacle test will still take place in a few weeks. Fall behind and you will keep taking it until you pass it. Dismissed.” He and the other males turn and leave without a backward glance.

Robin looks at me with a shrug. “Looks like we have some free time. Wanna head to the canteen?”

“I ate way too much this morning.” Thanks to my mates thinking I need to be fed on the hour. “I think I better try walk some of it off.”

She chuckles and waves me off, and I turn and head back the way I came.

“Apparently, we’re no longer training with instructors, we’re to train with our men. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about this new little rule, would you?” I ask Knox on my way through the forest.

“Not a clue,” he says his voice like honey.

“Liar.”

He chuckles. “Come back and give me another back rub and we can finish what we started this morning.”

“Pass.”

“What could be more important than feeling up one of your favorite mates?”

“Revenge,” I tell him.

He pauses. “Fair. Let me come with? I’ll help you gut them. Or just watch.”

“You’re actually a little psycho, aren’t you?”

“A lot, actually.” He chuckles, as if proud of that little fact.

Shaking my head at him, I open the bond between me and Malakai and look through his eyes to find Knox and Cyrus in the lineup of Shadows around him training, but there’s no Theon.

I haven’t seen him since the dinner the other night either.

“Where’s Theon?” I ask Knox.

“He’s having some alone time.”

“Where can I find him?” I ask, starting to get a little worried about him.

“What will I get if I tell you?”

“One less knife to the thigh,” I warn.

“I don’t know whether that’s a plus or negative.”

“Knox!”

“Fine… On the other side of the forest. There’s a small hill he likes to sit on and waste time feeling sad by himself.”

Knox must have told Malakai about our conversations because a minute later, I feel the bond between us open wide and an image of a big green hill and the directions I need to go to get there slam into it.

Shaking off my shock, I smile to myself, probably looking a bit crazy as I head toward the forest. “Tell Malakai I said thank you, ” I tell Knox.

“Why does he get a thank you?!”

“I’m blocking you out now,” I tell him.

“Don’t you dare ? —”

Sweet silence is all I hear as I make my way through the forest and to the hill Malakai showed me. Theon is sitting at the top with his back to me.

I watch his back tense as I move up it and walk over to him to sit down beside him.

The spot is beautiful with a wide-open view of the lush green trees and fields. You can also see most of the campus from up here.

A few minutes pass before Theon speaks. “Do you want to know why we hate you?” he asks, and I freeze. He glances over at me and frowns. “ Hated you?”

I swallow hard, already knowing where this conversation is heading.

His dark eyes narrow on me. “We were sent to the Void because of you.”

My eyes burn and blur at the complete devastation in his voice. And I wonder if it’s time for me to pay once and for all for one of old Sena’s biggest mistakes.

But instead of attacking me, he sighs and glances back out at the view. A view I no longer see. Only seeing the devastation and pain on Theon’s face.

“We were barely teenagers. And so fucking scared.” His shoulders slump.

“We had to learn how to hunt. To find water. To fight and survive.” He chuckles but there is not an ounce of humor in it.

“We got hurt a lot. Nearly died too many times to count. It’s lucky we’re Shadows.

Or we most definitely would have.” He sighs. “I hated it there.”

My stomach churns and twists as each word becomes a slap. I shouldn’t feel this wretched, especially when I wasn’t the one who sent them there, but I do. I feel horrible they had to go through that. That the old Sena was so heartless even as a child.

“When we finally got out, we thought it would be the end. But they sent us back over and over again because of the lies you told them.” Pain twists his features. “I always wanted to know why you did it.” He frowns and glances over at me. “We never did anything to you.”

“I’m sorry.” There’s nothing else I can say to him to fix this. I don’t know why the old Sena did it. But I do know I want her to feel ten times their pain right now. After I beat the shit out of her.

He clenches his jaw and glances away as if he can’t bear to look at me.

“There were days without food. And even more when we thought we weren’t going to make it.

When you told us about not eating, it reminded me about my time there.

” He tilts his head up towards the sun and closes his eyes. “I was always so fucking hungry.”

Sadness surrounds us like a thick fog. “I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to?—”

“I know,” he says, making me pause. His eyes soften as he scans my face. “I can feel it. Feel your sadness. And every emotion you feel right now.” He stares at me with an expression full of hope and fear and so much pain it nearly breaks me.

“You really don’t remember, do you?” he asks.

A deep ache pulses in my chest. “No, I?—”

He leans forward and kisses me while dragging me onto his lap and sliding his arms around me.

It’s a kiss of hate and betrayal and sadness. Of the pain and suffering he went through. He gives me everything, and I take it with a promise of making sure it never happens again. With the hope and possibility of a new beginning.

He groans, feeling everything I do. Every sliver of guilt and pain. Every hope and wish. He draws me closer, and then I finally feel it. His emotions.

And I nearly break there and then. “Theon…” I breathe against his lips.

“I hope you never remember,” he rasps. “Because this Sena is already someone that could completely destroy us all.” He pulls me closer, and we stay like that for hours. Just holding on to one another and staring up as the sun slowly disappears.

When it starts to get dark and his grip tightens on me, I realize that they could destroy me just as easily.