Page 3

"Hey, baby," Travis waved at Sadie when he entered the bar, pushing past a few college kids from town waiting on their Uber to take them back to campus.

Sadie gave them a soft smile and reminded them to take some tylenol when they got in safe as they passed by Travis on their way out. Her eyes trailed over to Gremlin who was standing by the door making sure no one else came in as they cleaned up for the night. Gremlin was close with Jagger but he didn’t say much, just worked security on busy nights and helped out when needed. He was intimidating like a giant, black, fearsome force to be reckoned with. But those who knew him personally would tell you that he had 3 little sisters at home he took care of after his mother passed, his favorite drink at the bar was a Sex on the Beach, and that he got his name because his favorite Christmas movie was Gremlins. He threw a smile at her once the door closed behind the last of the customers, but Sadie didn’t miss the glare he gave Travis as he made his way towards her.

She was still behind the bar, wiping off the bottles in preparation for the next day. "How was your night?"

He settled into a stool before her and rested his forearms on the bar. Sadie smiled at Travis before she looked over at Jagger, who was helping Bianca with her coat at the back of the establishment. It was April, but the cold weather hadn’t gone away yet.

The gorgeous red-head was toying with her zipper, and Sadie suddenly wished she could hear what they were talking about but turned her attention back to her boyfriend.

"It's been long," she sighed, putting the bottles back on their respective shelves. "I'm excited to go home."

Travis pouted, "I thought we were going to go back to my place tonight?"

"We can still go to your place, if you want. I'm just really tired. I figured I should go back to mine since I’m probably going to crash the second I see a bed."

Sadie looked at the clock on the wall near the bar's entrance, which was flashing bright and pink at 2:23 A.M.

"You can come to my place and sleep, babe. I won't bother you tonight," he joked and winked at her.

Sadie gave him a forced smile and started gathering her stuff from behind the bar. She pulled a hair tie off her wrist and quickly threw her golden tresses into a ponytail before putting on her coat and placing her hand in Travis's as they made their way to the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Jag!" She called out in his direction as they walked out of the Pit, forcing herself not to look at him and Bianca as she blatantly flirted with him in the dimly lit bar.

That night she ended up back at Travis's place, and despite her wishes for a good night's sleep, it had led to sex.

Sadie didn't love Travis, but she did like him. He was kind to her, did all the right things, and her family adored him. They had been together for a little over a year, and it was going well to everyone outside of their relationship. It might have worked if he had any interest in her hobbies or favorite things—or better in bed.

No, Sadie's mind corrected. He's not bad in bed; you just don't know how to orgasm from sex.

Travis got Sadie off with his fingers a few times and his mouth about a dozen. But with his dick? Not once.

He was too soft in bed, all light strokes and kisses. He would whisper words of adoration, and his touches were always gentle. Whenever she tried to encourage him to go faster, he went slower.

Sadie wanted to throttle him.

So tonight, she had finally decided she'd been silent on the matter for too long. Especially after the jealousy little Miss Bianca had brought out earlier. What kind of fucking name was Bianca, anyway? She needed some sort of a release and was getting desperate.

Propping herself up on her elbows, she leaned over his chest as he tried to catch his breath and asked, "Can we talk?"

Travis smiled at her and responded, "Of course, babe. How was it?" He slid his hands up to her waist and pulled her closer to him.

Sadie put on her best smile, totally aware she was faking everything at this point and not just her orgasms. "Great."

She rested her chin in her hand, her right elbow digging into the mattress, and ran her left hand down his chest. "I was just thinking, what would you say to try some stuff out? Like maybe something a little rougher." She paused when she saw the look on his face. "I mean, maybe some new positions or, like, maybe you could try spanking me?"

"Oh my god, Sadie. Why would you want me to hurt you?" Travis asked in shock, his hands flying to her shoulders. "Are you feeling alright?"

Sadie bit the inside of one cheek to keep from screaming at him and took a deep breath.

"I'm not asking you to punch me in the face, Trav. I'm trying to see what else we might be good at together. We should be open to trying other things," she tried to explain carefully, aware of his hands gripping her shoulders and searching her face with his eyes.

"I don't know, Sadie." Travis sighed. "I think we have amazing chemistry in bed. We change positions a lot. It's not always me on top; sometimes we switch, and you get to be on top."

Sadie grimaced but covered it with a cough.

Silence was the best option at this point.

He didn't get it, and he wouldn't get it.

Travis pulled her back a little to look into her eyes, and when she met them with her gaze, he asked quietly, "Is this about Jagger?"

Sadie sat up so quickly she almost fell out of his bed. "What? Why would you even say that?"

She pulled his blue comforter up to her naked chest as his hands fell back against the sheets. Travis pushed himself up on his forearms and gave her a sideways glance.

“Are you serious? He's the ultimate bad boy," he laughed as Sadie scrunched her nose up in confusion. "He's in a gang, runs a bar, is smart, rides a motorcycle, smokes, and can drink most men under the table. He's literally a modern-day James Dean.”

When Sadie tried to laugh it off and roll her eyes, Travis pushed onward. “And I saw how you were looking at him and that new girl when we left."

Sadie averted her eyes briefly as she thought about what he said. Back in college, she had considered him a potential lover, but their friendship was too important to act on it. Plus, he never really gave her a reason to think he was all that interested in her. Her brain, of course. But her body?

"That's ridiculous. Jag's my friend; I could never think about him like that. I just don’t like that girl and think he can do better."

Sadie moved onto her side and tucked her arm under her pillow, bringing it into a higher position.

"It’s just… I heard some girls talking at the bar tonight about some stuff and thought it was interesting."

Sadie kissed his cheek, and he smiled before remarking and patting her head, "We're fine just the way we are."

Travis hugged her close, and Sadie waited until his deep breathing assured her he was asleep before throwing her clothes back on and sneaking out into the living room. She couldn't rest right now with her thoughts a mile a minute. Sadie would have killed for a beer, but this was Travis’ apartment. So, there was wine.

Copious amounts of wine.

But nothing else.

Nothing stronger, nothing more satisfying.

Sadie let out a huff and swiped some stray hair out of her face that had escaped her ponytail. It all just seemed to be one giant metaphor for her perfect, wholesome relationship.

Eventually, she grabbed water from the fridge, went over to his gray couch and sprawled out on her stomach. Her work clothes from that evening still smelled of smoke and whiskey. Her favorite scents.

After a few minutes of mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, she saw an ad for an app called "SecretScape" - A place to escape your secrets . What a tagline, she thought, but curiosity got the better of her when she hit the download button.

Settling on the simple screen name of BookwormBarbie , taking delight in the comparison of her persona, name, and interests. Once the profile stats were out of the way (opting not to disclose anything except that she was a female in her twenties), she got to the main screen and saw dozens of boxes with text.

They all contained dirty secrets.

Some were pretty tame, like 'I lost my virginity to my brother's best friend.' or 'I got caught masturbating tonight by my roommate.'

Not all of them were about sex, though. Some were about time in jail, and others about hating their parents. The app was set up so that you could like a post, comment on it, or even message the user of the post privately. Locations were always hidden, and you couldn't send photos or videos in the app—just text.

Sadie settled into her spot and continued reading through the posts, liking a few. When she came across one similar to hers, she commented on one from a user named RebelsWearLeather .

The post read, 'I can't stop thinking about her. She's my best friend and yet I search for her in every body that warms the bed beside me in her absence."

Sadie felt compelled to write back, a shiver running through her as she started tapping away at her screen.

"I feel these emotions tonight and my heart goes out to you. I am terribly lost in the fantasy of my friendship turning into something more, but he's also a rebel - one without a cause, and he probably thinks I'm too tame."

She smiled at her James Dean reference when she submitted her response, hoping the receiver would appreciate it. Then, she went to get a blanket from the closet to cover herself. She was just situating it over her legs when her phone chimed.

RebelsWearLeather wants to send you a message .

Sadie quickly swiped up to reveal a chat screen.

RebelsWearLeather:

Couldn't help yourself with that one, could you?

Sadie laughed out loud and quickly quieted so as not to wake her boyfriend. Her boyfriend. BOYFRIEND. Remember him? Get a grip on yourself.

BookwormBarbie:

Sorry, you made it too easy. James Dean is a hot topic in my life tonight. If he was a number, I'd buy a lottery ticket.

What am I even saying? Sadie groaned into the blue throw pillow beside her and held her breath until his following message came.

RebelsWearLeather:

I have to admit I'm intrigued by that. Also, let me extend my apologies to you as well. Seems we're both pining.

BookwormBarbie:

Seems that way. I know better than to ask a stranger where they live, but it's late, and I'm on the East Coast. 4:16 to be exact. Are you up past your bedtime, too?

RebelsWearLeather:

I'm on the East Coast, too. I had a rough night at work and just couldn't settle down. I write in my spare time, and sometimes, I get ideas from the users of this app. Sometimes, I use them as writing prompts.

Sadie's eyebrows rose in response to his last message. He's smart. A writer. I like those.

BookwormBarbie:

I love that idea. I just downloaded it tonight actually. You're my first comment.

RebelsWearLeather:

Wow, I'm flattered. I haven't been someone's first in a while.

Sadie chuckled and took a sip of her water.

Is this guy flirting with me?

BookwormBarbie:

So what are your plans for the rest of the night? Or morning.

RebelsWearLeather:

I'm probably going to make this chick go home, strip the sheets off my bed, and take a shower. I might also try to rest a few hours before I go to work.

Jesus , Sadie thought and rubbed her thighs together, trying to ignore the heat that was pooling between them at his words. It sounds like he might have had some good sex tonight, at least.

He sent another text before she could type a response.

RebelsWearLeather:

What about you, Barbie?

BookwormBarbie:

I'm going to get back in bed and hope I can stop thinking of men in leather jackets long enough to finally sleep.

RebelsWearLeather:

Now, why would you want to forget about me already?

He was definitely flirting with her.

BookwormBarbie:

Good luck with your houseguest. Hope that works out for you.

RebelsWearLeather:

Doubtful. She didn't want to be tied up, spanked or choked.

Sadie almost dropped her phone, her face burning from the flush across her cheeks. Maybe Travis was right. Maybe she was lying to herself. Perhaps men in leather jackets were her type.

She decided to end the night on a high, choosing to try and flirt back.

BookwormBarbie:

For what it's worth, I would have begged for all three. Goodnight, Rebel.

BookwormBarbie is no longer online.

Sadie exited out of the app and took 3 deep breaths.

No harm was done; it was just some innocent flirting with a man of mystery that got you seriously wet, and you talked to him for all of ten minutes.

She snuck back into Travis's bedroom and under the covers. It was almost dawn. The shrill sounds of birds were gracing her ears as the sun crested the town outside of his windows. She cuddled in closer, taking in his body heat.

She didn't have to go on that app again.

She didn't have to talk to random guys online.

She didn't have to fake orgasms and dodge her boyfriend's advances.

But she was, and she did.

As sleep finally began to calm her, she wondered if there was a way out of the mess inside her head - and her heart.