12

“What do you think?” Bethany asked, twirling around breathlessly, allowing the jewel-blue jersey dress to flare out around her. “Do you like it better than the green one?”

Sally and Gram clapped in approval for each dress she had tried on, deciding to plan ahead for the date with Jack. When he left, he had said to be prepared for this next Saturday. He had been gone for almost a week, with no contact, but she knew he was working. It stung a little that he had not called or texted, but she reminded herself that he said his work was unpredictable.

She had stayed busy and now was playing dress up with Sally and Gram helping her to choose her best date clothes.

“Oh, darling, they all look so pretty on you,” Sally enthused. “Don’t you think so Ann?”

Bethany looked over at her grandmother, knowing that she was slipping farther away from reality. Gram did not reply but offered a smile instead. It was all she could give, and Bethany would take anything offered, wanting to hold on to every memory with her grandmother.

“Why haven’t I seen you in any of these dresses before?” Sally asked. “Have you had them here all along?”

“Yes,” laughed Bethany, “but there’s hardly been a reason to wear them here. How can I chop wood in a dress and high heels?”

“Well, no matter which one you choose, you’ll be beautiful,” Sally remarked. She looked at Ann and said, “Let me help your grandmother to bed while you change.”

Smiling, Bethany agreed, then moved back to her bedroom. A few minutes later, dressed in her pajamas, she checked in as Sally was just getting Ann into bed.

Leaning over, she whispered, “I love you, Gram,” kissing her cheek.

Sally and Bethany quietly left the room. “She’s getting worse, you know,” Sally said.

Bethany sighed, “I know. I called mom and dad the other night and they were checking on the closest facility to here.” Tears filled her eyes, but she dashed them away quickly.

But not quickly enough. Sally walked over, offering her a hug and said, “You’re a good woman, Bethany.”

Soon afterward Sally left, and Bethany locked up the lodge. Climbing into bed, she looked at the dresses hanging on a hook on her closet door. Smiling, she thought of the date she and Jack would finally be able to go on. Saturday was only two days away and she had the perfect pampering day planned for tomorrow.

The next day, Bethany drove into the city for an early appointment at a spa and salon. Starting with a massage, she felt the kinks smoothed out of her work-tired muscles, followed by a hair trim and style. She loved the feel of someone else drying her hair while brushing it out. It reminded her of the times when she was a little girl, and her mother would sit for a long time running the hairbrush through Bethany’s thick tresses. Then lastly, she sat getting a pedicure while reading a trashy magazine, checking out the latest Hollywood couples.

Laying the articles down in her lap, she leaned her head back against the chair. She heard about the new college girl’s murder on the television and assumed that Jack was involved. How does he do what he does? Glad that someone like him was on the case, she still hated that he had been gone for days.

Her mind rolled back to the last time she was with him on his deck. The memory of his lips on hers before they moved to her breasts as his fingers had worked deep inside of her. She could still remember the tingles from the orgasm that had rushed over her body?—

“You coming ma’am?”

Her eyes jerked open in surprise as she saw the small Asian pedicurist standing with his hand held out to her, waiting for her to step off the chair. Jumping up, she could feel her blush heating her face as she placed her hand in his. “Yes, yes, I’m coming,” she replied as she allowed him to assist her down so as not to mess with her pedicure.

Driving home, it was hard to contain her excitement as she sang along with the radio. Jack calls me beautiful when I’ve been out chopping wood. I wonder what he’ll say when he sees me all fixed up. Smiling to herself, she pulled into Mountville and parked in front of the lodge.

Roscoe walked by, coming from the shed. “You look real purdy, Miss Bethany,” he called out.

“Thank you. Was everything here all right?”

“Cabins and folks are fine. Sally’s got Ms. Ann settled in for a nap and I’m just working on some of the little repairs. I noticed you got a lock on the tool shed now.”

“Oh, my goodness, yes. I completely forgot to give you a key.” He followed her into the lodge, where she went around the check-in counter and opened a drawer. “Here, you can just keep this one. Right now, you and I will have the only keys and I’ll keep a spare in here in case you forget yours.”

Fingering the key that she gave him, he nodded. “Sounds good miss.” With that, he turned and headed back out to work.

She bounded up the stairs and saw Sally in the small kitchen. “Hey,” she whispered. “How was everything?”

Sally returned her hug, answering, “We mostly stayed in and watched TV. She didn’t seem to want to go outside and since it was humid, I didn’t force a walk today.”

She then held Bethany at arm’s length and said, “I don’t have to ask you how your day was. You are gorgeous!”

Smiling, Bethany replied, “It felt so good to get pampered and know that at the end will be a hot date with a hot guy…that I already know likes me!”

“And what about you? Do you already know you like him?” Sally teased.

“Oh, yeah.” The smile on Bethany’s face had Sally laughing.

“Girl, you are so ready for this man to get back into town and I can’t wait to hear what he says when he lays eyes on you.”

“Well, come around tomorrow and you’ll be able to do just that,” she invited.

Saying goodbye, she closed the door behind Sally and checked in on her grandmother, still sleeping peacefully. Kneeling by the bed, she whispered, “Oh, Gram. You’ve always listened to my secrets and plans. I like him, Gram. Really, really like him. I haven’t been around any man that actually made my heart beat faster. Or one who wants me protected. Or who makes me feel like our crazy lives could mesh.”

Reaching out, she barely touched her grandmother’s hand, not wanting to wake her, but needing that contact. “I wish you were still here with me, Gram. Not just in body, but here with me the way you always were.”

Sighing deeply, she rose and tiptoed out of the room, closing the door behind her. Walking to her purse, she pulled out her cell phone. Come on Jack, call me.

The drive home from Charlestown was not long, but Jack’s musings were filled with dark thoughts. The men in the back seat were beginning to joke, a natural defense mechanism when their jobs were stressful, but this time Jack was not joining in. His mind was on the case, how to stop a murderer that they could not find, and a beautiful blonde that would be home waiting for him.

Rubbing his hand over his face, he wondered how he was going to do this. Or not do this. Damn! Before he could ponder the situations anymore, they pulled into the driveway. As the men disembarked from the vehicles, he looked over at them.

Every one of them would volunteer to stay and keep working the case instead of going to their homes if he asked. But he knew they needed their down time. Just like he did.

“Go on home. We’ll reconvene here at eight a.m. Monday morning. We’ve got a lot of data to process and for the weekend, we’ll let the FBI do their jobs. Monty, be ready to give us their info then. Luke, we need whatever you can data-mine for us at that time.” He held their stares for a moment, then added, “We’ve got other contracts that I’m working on, to see what we can fulfill, but I don’t need to tell you that we have to stop this man.”

The others nodded solemnly as they began to head to their trucks.

“Have a great weekend date with the beautiful Ms. Bridwell,” Cam called out. The others smiled and threw out their encouragements as well.

Throwing up a half-hearted wave, he just nodded and headed into his house. He watched them drive away before walking into his kitchen and pulling out a beer. He moved to his living room and stood in front of the bank of windows offering the majestic view. Taking a swig, he pulled out his phone. This was going to be a long-ass weekend.

Deep in a romance novel, Bethany jumped when her cell phone rang. Looking down, she could not keep the grin off her face. Jack. Yes! Finally!

“Hey, Jack,” she answered. “How are you? I’ve been listening to the news and figured you’ve been super busy. Are you okay?”

There was a second of silence before his rough voice came through. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“I know you must be exhausted,” she continued to blab. “Are you back home or still on the road?”

“I’m home now.”

Pulling her lips in, she wondered at his straightforward answers and assumed he must be tired. “Well, I’m glad you’re home. I hope you can rest tonight.”

“Yeah, that’s the plan.”

Twisting the sheet in her hand, she was confused about his lack of enthusiasm. A hollow feeling developed in the pit of her stomach, and she felt her heart begin to beat a loud rhythm. Sucking in a deep breath, she plunged on.

“Are we still on for tomorrow night? I’ve got everything picked out for me to wear so I can totally wow you. You might not recognize me without my jeans or a t-shirt,” she joked, hoping to get a reaction from him.

Silence greeted her. Licking her lips nervously, she added, “But Jack, I know you’ve been gone and you’re tired and probably still working, aren’t you? Uh…we can postpone our date…it doesn’t have to be tomorrow.”

Silence.

“In fact, I could maybe run by just to welcome you home. If you had a few minutes, that is. We could…uh…hang out on your porch…or…” Her heart began to pound at his lack of comments.

“Listen, about tomorrow night. I don’t think that will be a very good idea. I’m sorry that you’ve gone to trouble for it,” he said, hating his own lies.

“Sure,” she replied, overly brightly. “That’s fine. I’m sorry, Jack. I should have realized that you’re still working and wouldn’t have time. I could always bring you dinner and promise to not stay and bother you.” Hope dripped from her words, but she was helpless to stop them.

“I think that we probably shouldn’t plan anything at all. I thought this could be a good idea, but I’m really not what you need and…” he faltered, unaccustomed to not knowing what to say, “and I just don’t have time in my life to try to make something work.”

This time the silence came through loud and clear, but it was him on the receiving end. Hoping to soften the blow, he added, “You need someone who can come home to peach cobbler.”

Silence. No one spoke for a few seconds, the dead air hanging between them.

“That’s it, Jack? That’s all? What happened to you wanting me in your life?”

He had no answer.

“What about you claiming me? Or wanting to see where this goes? You’re just going to throw it all away before giving us a chance?” her voice rose in anger with each word.

“I’m sorry, Bethany. I just think we need to stop this before it goes anywhere.”

“Goes anywhere? Well, pardon me for thinking that letting a man suck on me with his fingers inside of me, as going somewhere. I guess I’m not used to being the incidental that you claimed I wasn’t!”

“You’re taking this all wrong,” he growled in frustration. “You were never casual. I can’t deal with my job, my business, and my life and have you in it as well.”

Her stomach churning, she blinked to keep the tears at bay. “Oh great, the old it’s not you, it’s me line. That’s just an excuse and you know it. There are committed couples all over the world in jobs that require a lot of time and energy to make it all work. What you’re really saying is that you don’t consider me worth the trouble.” She threw the words out, praying that he would at least deny them. He did not.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he lied. “It’s just not what I want or what I need. ”

A deathlike silence followed.

Jack’s fist clenched at his side, the desire to pound it into the wall was overwhelming, but he forced himself to not move.

“I think you’re lying,” she said, her voice shaking. “I think we could be good together. Or I did. The man I was interested in was caring. The man talking to me right now is selfish. Yes, Jack, selfish. You’re so determined to be a martyr to your business that you won’t consider your own happiness…or mine.”

Steeling himself for her anger, her words were like blows to his gut. It was on the tip of his tongue to apologize, tell her he was wrong, beg her to go out with him. But once again, he let the silence hang in the space between them.

“Well, I guess there’s nothing left to say. I want your cameras turned off, Jack. I won’t have my privacy invaded and if they’re not, then I’ll call the police.” She hesitated a moment before adding, “I’d like to say that I’ll get rid of Gram’s bracelet, but honestly, I need that. But I’ll be sending you a check to pay for the cost.” A bill or I’ll look online to see what the costs would be.”

Blinking again, this time unable to hold the tears at bay, she said, “Goodbye. I’m sure you’re very good at your job and I do wish you success with that. But…well, I guess I don’t have anything else to say. Goodbye.” She tried to disconnect just before the sobs took over. Tossing the phone down on her nightstand, she fell over on the bed, her heart aching.

Why should it hurt so bad? It’s not like I knew him for that long. The answers to her questions were staring her in the face. I was already falling for him and what I thought we could be. And now… She lay on her bed, sobs wracking her body, glad that Gram was fast asleep in the other room and could not hear her.

With Gram no longer able to be the companion she once was, her parents on the other side of the country, and the friends she had still back in Richmond, Bethany felt very alone. The sadness slid over her like a shroud threatening to suffocate her.

After crying until no more tears existed, she turned out the light, lying in bed knowing that sleep would elude her. She was right. For long hours, she thought of the dark and brooding man who had stolen her heart. And handed it back to her in shreds. What an idiot I am. He tried to tell me he had no place for me in his future when we first met. I should have listened to that man…not the one I was willing to give myself to!

Jack heard the sob just before she disconnected. He threw his phone across the room, not caring if it shattered. “Goddamnit!” he yelled at the empty room. Hanging his head in frustration, he gritted his teeth until he thought they would crack. She’s wrong. I'm not selfish! I’m thinking of her and only her. She deserves more than a man that works all the time. In a world that’s fucked up, dark, and full of terrors she can’t even imagine.

The vision of her smile filled his mind as he stared out into the black night. Her laughter. Soft touch. Bringing dessert to him and his men. No other woman had ever tried to fit into his life, and it had made it so easy in the past to realize that his life would not mesh with theirs. But she was different. Giving. Ready to accept me for who I am…and what I do. Would it have worked? No way to know, but at least she had been willing to try.

Shaking his head, he forced his mind to think of the reasons why he was right. Better to end it now before it hurts more. Better than to let something grow and then find out it can’t work.

But staring out his window into the blackness, her smiling face still filled his thoughts…taunting him with what he had just destroyed.

Stalking across the room he tossed the unfinished beer into the trash. Walking back to the liquor cabinet, he pulled out a whiskey bottle. Grabbing a glass, he took them both to the living room and sat facing the windows again. Pouring a drink, he decided that getting shitfaced was the only way to make this nightmare disappear.