Page 43 of Sergei

“How will you do that?”

“Like I said, you’ll have a new name. A new license. Even a new social.”

“This is a lot.”

“Yes, it is. But we have time to figure it all out.” His answer was quick, like he understood the storm of thoughts that were rushing through my head. He let out a breath before closing the laptop and said, “I have to get to the casino.”

“Oh. Okay.”

My chest sank at the thought of him leaving. Before he had a chance to move, I reached up and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him. I thought he might resist, but instead, his arms came around me and pulled me in tight. I rested my head on his chest as I whispered, “Thank you.”

At first, he didn’t move, and I thought he might pull back. But he continued to hold me. Hard and fierce. Protective like steel. He wasn’t gentle. He held me as if the world was trying to rip me from his arms and he wasn’t going to allow it.

I could feel the heat of his breath on my neck, and when he inhaled a deep breath, it sent a shiver down my spine. He wasn’t just hugging me. He was taking me in, and I was doing the same with him. I felt safe in a way I never had before. Not with any man. His touch wasn’t about possession or control. It was about protecting me from a world that wanted to pull me under.

And God help me; I didn’t want to let go.

When Sergei finally pulled away, I felt the loss immediately. It surprised me how much. It was like stepping out into the cold after being wrapped tight in a warm blanket, and it only grew colder when he grabbed his coat and walked out of the apartment. I heard the door close behind him, and then, the silence came.

I didn’t move. I was still trying to process everything that had happened. Alek was dead. I couldn’t believe it. While he had made my life a living hell for years, it was still such a shock to think he was actually gone. That I was actually free. I wound my arms around myself, trying to hold onto the feeling of Sergei’sembrace, but it was already gone. I let out a slight sigh, and Bog asked, “You okay over there?”

I gave him a small smile and shrugged. “I’m trying to be.”

“You have nothing to worry about. Everything will be okay. Sergei will make sure of it.”

I gave him a slight nod, then carried the gifts Sergei had given me into the living room. Sergei had lit a fire in the stone hearth, and it was burning low, giving the room a soft glow. I curled up on the couch and pulled a blanket over my legs. I opened the journal to the first page and let my mind wander.

At first, I wrote simple things, like possible names I could use:

Samantha.

Regina.

Felicity.

Tabitha.

Amelia.

None of them felt right, so I started a second list:

Painting.

Writing.

Traveling.

Going back to school. (Maybe it’s too late.)

Cooking.

The words looked empty and almost silly. It looked like a list made by a girl who had no idea who she was. But ever so slowly, the list blurred into thoughts, and as one line fed into the next, I felt a part of me open that had been locked away for years.

I once hada heart full of light.

I dreamed in color and danced to music only I could hear.

I held my arms open wide and hoped for a future built on fairy tales.