Page 15

W atching Elena hang upside down is by far the best thing I have ever witnessed. And by best, I mean erotic, making me wish I had an eidetic memory so I could replay the visual in my head till the curtain closes. Not only is she the most elegant woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of laying on, but the way she commanded the silks as if she’s done aerial acrobatics since she was old enough to walk was…incredibly hot.

Even though we only practiced beginner moves, there was something so incredibly sexy about her being able to pick up on it after careful observation and keen listening skills.

It could totally be because I’m the type of person who will completely abandon a hobby—even after spending an ungodly amount of money on it—if I don’t get things right the first time. Or because my listening skills are complete shit. Either way, she made me both enviously green and ridiculously pink as I spent the entire session with my mouth embarrassingly unhinged while watching her perform each move. Hell, even now, as we reach the cubicles to retrieve our things, I can’t stop staring.

Everything this woman does is with such finesse. Such ease. It’s as admirable as much as it is attractive.

“I would remind you that a picture lasts longer, but…” Elena’s smirk peeks from her periphery as she wipes her forehead with a towel. She misses a stray bead of sweat that slips down her jaw and drips onto her cleavage before disappearing in the valley.

What I wouldn’t give to be that tiny dot of perspiration…

“Yeah,” I clear my throat, failing miserably at forcing my eyes to snap up before she catches me ogling. “I’m just in awe.”

“Of?” She tosses the small towel into a nearby bin before grabbing her items from the small cubby.

I shrug. “Your…abilities.”

Another smile, this one wider than before. “It’s rather cute you think you’ve seen any of my abilities.”

A shiver racks through me at her words. There’s something in the rasp of her voice, or her hooded gaze…or maybe it’s the dark aura surrounding her, that implies—no—that screams danger. And I want every single part of it.

“Is that so?” I muse playfully, batting my eyelashes while noting how the air is much thicker than it was a moment ago. I’m noticing it’s a recurrence whenever I’m around her.

Elena’s head angles to the side, elongating her neck in a way that immediately steals my gaze. I find two small freckles that look similar to a vampire's bite just under her ear. “It is.”

Swallowing is harder this time, but luckily, or maybe not, we’re interrupted by Willow. She shakes Elena’s hand and gives me a swift hug before thanking both of us for coming out. Elena remains impassive and observant as I bend to grab my things and promise Willow I’ll be coming back sooner than later. It isn’t until I say my goodbyes, and we exit the building that she speaks again.

“You have a close relationship with her.”

It’s a simple statement, but I like the way her voice is a little higher than normal. “Jealous already, Red?”

Her eyes cut to me as we reach the car and I curl my hand around the passenger’s handle. “I am not familiar with that emotion.”

I bark out a laugh. “I mean, I would expect nothing less from someone as nonchalant as yourself, but also, I somehow doubt that’s completely true.”

Elena’s brow furrows and I realize how much I enjoy making her experience feelings, confusion included. “Why the doubt, Agent?”

My lips work back and forth as I consider her. There’s still so much I don’t know, but jealousy is one of the first emotions we experience. There’s no way Elena is numb to basic human emotions. But her impassive, dr?le expression has me thinking otherwise.

Perhaps she has alexithymia.

The notion that she might have true emotional blindness makes my chest tight. I know we are opposites in almost every way but as a person who wears her heart on her sleeve, I couldn’t imagine not feeling. Truly. Deeply. Overwhelmingly. Even when it leaves me a mess on the floor, and I sometimes wish I was numb, I wouldn’t actually want to be. A deep pang of sympathy and sadness hits me square in the stomach as I imagine, if that’s the case, how little she feels for me.

Clearing my throat, I shake my head and open the door, opting to return to the previous subject before I hurt my own feelings. “Willow helped me when I was on a path of self destruction.”

Elena doesn’t immediately fall into the passenger seat and instead blinks at me. A beat passes before she internally decides on something and nods. “I’m glad you had someone to keep you from the fall. Not everyone is as fortunate.”

She doesn’t wait for my response, or honestly, lack thereof, and slides into the car.

My bottom lip disappears under my top teeth as I close the door and round the hood to my side. In the ten seconds it takes me to get there, my mind swirls with a dozen questions I want to ask, or the playful comments I want to make to help diffuse the sudden heaviness settling in, but instead I probe her, hopeful to learn more. Even if it means I find out we aren’t as compatible as I hope.

Starting the engine, I pull out of the parking spot and take the turn to bring us to the freeway. Elena’s hands are folded neatly in her lap, her gaze trained out the window. Twice I have to shimmy my shoulders in an attempt to shake off the nerves, but when it doesn’t work, I force the words out.

“Did you need someone to keep you from falling?”

She’s quiet for a long stretch of time, her eyes focused on the passing trees. My stomach twists with unease, the fear that I’m asking questions like that too soon creeping hot up my neck. This is why I’m always so playful and carefree with the people I date. Why I don’t pry and get to know them past what’s on the surface. Because moments like this, the ones where you ask questions that could make or break something that’s only just begun is…scary. Uncomfortable. A place I’d rather not be because life is too fleeting and there’s so much fun to be had.

With her, though, I have to. It’s like the world's most massive and complicated puzzle with no edges and no big picture to help guide me. And clearly I’m some sort of freaking masochist because the less she gives me, the more I want.

Just when I think this might be another time she switches the conversation back to me, she releases an almost indecipherable sigh. “I did. But I’m afraid not even they were capable of catching me.”

A pressure contracts my sternum, but then Elena continues to speak, and I know without a shadow of a doubt her words will wreck me.

“Nevertheless, they are not to blame for the path I chose. Not the failures, nor the victories. They were simply supports to see me through or keep me grounded, and I find that in the life I had, the things I’ve done, that was a savior in itself.”

“Mrs. Ward.” I recall how relaxed Elena was around her.

She nods once. “Yes. She, along with her son have been a vital part of my life.”

When she doesn’t elaborate, I have to bite into my bottom lip to keep from trying to pull more out of her. With what little experience I have with Elena, I know if I push, she’ll clam up, and not even the best of my jokes will be able to pry her open again. So instead of saying anything, I simply nod and focus on the road, dipping in and out of Friday night traffic with relative ease, my heart thrumming in my throat the entire time. It isn’t until we reach the long bridge that connects Georgia to Noxus that we speak again, this time it’s Elena asking about the more advanced techniques in aerial silks.

We make it back to Baudelaire’s much faster than I want to, and when I pull into the parking lot, it physically pains me that our date is over.

When she exits the car, I gesture to the shop, realizing that I’m dropping her back off at work. “You know, I don’t mind taking you home.”

“I am home.” She smiles and elaborates when my brows pull together. “I have a studio above my store. It was renovated when I took over.”

“Ah, that’s nice. I bet I’d still manage to be late everyday.” I huff as I lead her up the short steps to the front door, each step getting heavier than the last. “Despite the soreness I know is going to wreck me tomorrow, I really had a good time. Thank you for coming.”

Elena shakes her head, a small tendril falling loose from her bun. “No, thank you. I enjoyed learning a new skill, and watching you?—”

Before I realize what I’m doing, I’ve lifted a hand and am hooking the lock of hair behind her ear. The pads of my fingers brush against the shell, and my body becomes profoundly aware of her. The small hitch in her breath, the slight part of her lips, the light flutter of her eyelashes.

Those green eyes of hers flash to mine, piercing me with a look that cements me in place, and we stay there, stuck in our own orbit, just like at the observatory. My veins ache with the speed of my pulse, and with every passing second, I realize how stupid I would be to not fucking kiss her.

Yet, as every square inch of my skin burns to do it, I can’t. Not without the lingering sting of fear. Of rejection. A feeling I haven’t felt in so goddamn long, but has suddenly resurfaced like an ex after they get the smallest whiff of your happiness.

My bones turn to ash as I realize how badly I’m still so fucked up.

Why do I do this to myself? Every. Fucking. Time.

“You never cease to amaze me, Agent.” Her words are nothing more than a hushed whisper.

My hand slides down, brushing across her jawline until I force myself to drop it, hating how my heart plummets with it. “How so?”

She shakes her head, a nerve in her jaw pulsing. “I find you more perplexing than I initially imagined.”

I give her a lopsided smile. “Now that is not?—”

The phone in my pocket vibrates violently with the sound of my uncle’s ringtone, causing both of us to jolt back, our bubble once again popped into oblivion. I’m quick to reject and silence it through the outside of my leggings with a quick double squeeze of the power button. “Sorry I thought I had that?—”

Again, the phone blares to life, shaking my thigh with a vengeance, and something deep in my core snaps awake, demanding I answer. My uncle isn’t the type to call after hours, and definitely wouldn't call back to back.

Fuck.

“I’m sorry. Can I grab this real quick?”

I fish the phone out at the same time Elena nods. “Of course.”

“Frances.” I don’t mean to snap at my uncle, but holy shit, talk about bad timing.

“We need you to come in.” His voice is tired and serious. Still, I push because…well, because I’m me.

“It’s ten. What the hell is so?—”

“ I need you to come in.”

My heart stutters in my chest, realization washing over me. “Are you okay?”

He clears his throat, and I can envision him checking over his shoulder like he does anytime he’s about to tell me something he shouldn’t. “I have a messenger here.”

Realization and surprise grip me around the throat, tight.

“Tell me you’re not there alone, uncle.” My eyes stay on Elena, as she gives a solemn, knowing smile, and I swear I’ve never hated my job—rules and all—as much as I do in this fucking moment.

“Hurry and get here,” is all he says before the line goes silent.

When I drop my hand, Elena’s is already on her doorknob. “Duty calls?”

I sigh, running my hands a little too roughly over my face. “Yeah, I’m so sor?—”

She stops me, moving quickly to plant the softest fucking kiss on my cheek. Fireworks and a balloon parade set off inside of me, euphoria whipping through my limbs, making them weak. “Be safe.”

Her whisper against my flesh is like fire in the middle of a blizzard and I wish, just for a second, I could wrap myself up in it. But knowing my uncle might be alone with this mysterious messenger means I can’t even dwell in it. “I will. Until next time?”

Elena’s smile is soft and fleeting, stealing my breath and hammering in the guilt threatening to consume me. “Next time.”