Page 58 of Secret Pleasure (Bound Hearts 13)

Tugging the material of her gown back over her breasts, she felt them shaking, felt her entire body quivering from the inside out.

“As beautiful as your dreams,” she whispered, bitterness burning inside her, roiling in her stomach as she fought to keep from throwing up. “I didn’t bother you.”

She had to force that statement past her lips, force him to acknowledge that she had not broken the terms of their cruel demands.

Her father would be so angry, so disappointed in her yet again. And humiliated.

She could feel that humiliation beginning to burn inside her already.

“Bother me?” The derisive laugh that sounded behind her had her cringing. “Baby, you’ve bothered me every second of my life for eight years.”

Alyssa pressed her hands to her stomach, eight years of rage pushing aside humiliation and fear.

“Guilt, Sebastian?” She stared into the darkness, focused there. Turning, facing him, might break her as nothing else had yet.

“Guilt,” he agreed. “Regret.”

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The admission caused her teeth to clench, her lips to pull back with the effort it took not to lose the control she was forcing over her ragged emotions.

She swung around, the rage blistering, searing. “What gives you the right to ambush me like this? To even attempt to come near me?” she sneered. “Need an excuse to punish me more than you already have?”

Her voice was thick as she realized her eyes were growing wet. Tears that had lain trapped inside her for years were now trying to make themselves known.

She would not cry for the cousins again, not after everything they’d taken from her. Not after everything she’d lost because of them.

“Now, siren, let’s be nice,” he whispered, his expression so drawn, so filled with such false misery, that she hated him for it. Hated him for the bleak pain he could project into his eyes, the lines at the sides of his lips and eyes that indicated he’d known far too many smiles.

Goofy. He’d always smiled, always laughed—

“I hate you!” The vehemence in her tone had shock resonating through Sebastian.

“Alyssa…” He moved to reach for her, to be certain he had to be imagining the shudders shaking her small frame.

“What, were you bored?” she sneered, contempt filling her voice, her expression, as her fingers formed fists at her sides. “The game far too unexciting, Sebastian? Did you think I’d willingly give you an excuse to shred me further than you already have?”

“Siren—” His expression tightened, hardening as he watched her in the dim light.

“I’m not your fucking siren!” Alyssa cried, rage contorting her expression, agony racing from her, slapping against his senses with such black, overwhelming pain Sebastian could only stare back at her in shock. “Sirens are fairy tales, Sebastian, just like summer love and promises made to stupid little girls. Well, this stupid little girl finally grew up and realized the difference. Sirens, summer love, empty promises, and happily-ever-afters are right up there with dragons and knights in shining armor. None of which exist. They never existed.”

God, how she’d been hurt. The insanity that had forced them from her had taken something so precious, so innocent, and bred such fury in its place. And now, for the first time since he’d held her two years before, he feared it couldn’t be fixed.

“Perhaps I never grew up,” he said softly. “Let me explain, Alyssa—”

“Explain?” She stared at him as though he’d lost his mind. “What possible explanation could you give?”

“It’s not what you believe—”

“Not what I believe?” She jerked back farther, as though his words were a whip slicing into her flesh. “How could it be anything but?”

She was staring at him as though she couldn’t believe he was actually there, actually speaking.

“Alyssa, please,” he said softly. “Let me explain, siren. I can fix it.”

“Fix it?” She stepped back, shaking her head as she watched him in disbelief. “Yes, Sebastian, fix it,” she suggested as though she knew he couldn’t. “Fix my walking into my parents’ home the day I flew back from Barcelona to face those fucking pictures and your threats.”

He froze. Everything inside him froze. Life, the blood in his veins, his very breath.