Page 27 of Secrecy (The Chaplain’s Legacy #4)

S omewhere in the darkness of her pain, Tess was aware of a voice yelling, the movement of someone rushing past her… no, not past her, stopping beside her and then the terrible pain eased as Ulric’s hands were prised from her throat.

Released, she slipped to the floor, curled up on her side. Breathe, breathe… it hurt to breathe. What had happened? As her breathing slowly eased, she opened her eyes to see.

It was Edward! Edward had come to her rescue, wearing only his nightshirt, open at the throat and the sleeves rolled up. He held Ulric by the wrists, and as Tess watched, he pushed Ulric away from him and hit him with such force that Ulric was carried a little way down the corridor and fell, silent and unmoving.

Edward rushed across and knelt beside her. “Tess! Oh my God, my darling! Are you all right?”

She nodded, quite unable to speak. Her throat still hurt abominably, but she could breathe. At least, she would be able to breathe if only there were not a half-naked Edward before her. His throat and half his chest was exposed to her mesmerised gaze, and his arms! Such strong, well-muscled arms! Arms which picked her up as if she weighed nothing at all.

He sat on the floor and laid her across his lap, those astonishing arms holding her tight, and murmured into her hair. She had no idea what he said, and in truth it hardly mattered. In those few moments, her life had changed. Tom was forgotten. She need no longer regret his masculinity when she had her own perfectly formed specimen. Every difficulty was resolved in the sight of Edward’s unclothed chest and arms.

Wonderingly, she lifted one hand to touch the nearest arm. So powerful! Mrs Edgerton, it seemed, was right after all when she suggested a gentleman might very well appear to manly advantage if the outer trappings of his rank were removed. Why had she never suspected that this athletic Edward lurked beneath the artfully arranged cravat?

“Does it still hurt?” he said.

“A little. I shall be bruised but nothing worse, since you arrived so quickly.”

“I was still awake when I heard your scream.”

“Thank you,” she said shyly, smiling up at him.

“Happy to be of service.”

“And thank you for not gloating. You warned me of this, after all. You told me Ulric was not a suitable husband, and you were quite right.”

More voices arrived, and wavering candles. Exclamations of dismay, as they discovered Ulric. Fanny Peterson’s anxious voice, then her father’s calmer one. Edward’s, explaining what had happened. “He attacked Tess, so I hit him,” he said succinctly. Groans as Ulric began to come round. Fanny’s quiet tones again. Ulric’s roar of displeasure, then a great deal of angry nonsense about thieves. But Fanny talked to him steadily, her voice reassuring, and gradually he calmed down and was persuaded to return to his room. He remembered his shoes, but Sir Ernest collected them, and gradually Fanny’s placid voice disappeared into the distance.

Lady Peterson’s face appeared, bending over Tess. “Miss Nicholson, I am so dreadfully sorry this has happened. A terrible misunderstanding… he is not normally aggressive… are you much injured? Shall I send for the physician?”

“No, no! I am… I shall be perfectly well. There is no need for a physician.”

“Well… if you are quite sure…”

With a smile of reassurance, Tess nodded and she drifted away. Silence fell.

Tess was disinclined to move. In Edward’s arms, seeing him in this new and wonderful light, she was utterly content. Happiness seeped through her, filling her with warmth. She would marry him and put up with the baroness business for the sake of those splendid muscles. Edward seemed no less reluctant to move. One arm was still clasped securely around her waist, and with his free hand he played with her hair, twisting one curl round his finger and then releasing it.

“I suppose I ought to return you to your bed,” he said eventually. “Shall I send Betty to you? You will not want to be alone after this.”

It was true that she had no desire to be alone, but it was not Betty she wanted. Edward’s bare chest and muscular arms were sending a powerful message to her. “Not Betty,” she said firmly. “She will only fuss.”

With a little laugh, she reached up to draw his head nearer to hers.

To her surprise, he hissed and pulled sharply away from her. “Stop it, Tess!”

“What is the matter? Kiss me, Edward.”

He scrambled upright and dumped her unceremoniously on her feet. “Every time I think you are acquiring some sense, you revert to stupidity,” he spat. “Will you never, ever learn to consider the consequences of your actions? Get back to bed, Tess, and leave me alone. Which is your room?”

“That one.”

He threw open the door. “In!”

She went, turning to gaze at his furious countenance.

“Lock the door,” he said curtly, then slammed it shut. She could not hear him walk away, for his bare feet made no sound on the deep carpet, but the thin line of light under the door from Ulric’s candle wavered and then vanished. She heard a door close some distance away, and then there was silence.

The room was utterly black, the fire having long gone out. Tess rested her head against the unyielding door and wept as if her heart would break. And perhaps that was only the truth.

***

T ess was woken by a rattling outside the door, then a knocking. It was still dark, but the girl had come to see to the fire, and the door was locked. Letting her in, she opened the shutters and curtains, and, swathed in her thickest shawl, sat by the window watching the sky slowly lighten.

Despair. That was the emotion that held her in its icy grip. All the warmth of her joy in the night had been swept away by Edward’s peremptory words. Leave me alone. He had loved her once, and she had never properly appreciated that before. He had loved her, as no one else had ever done, and now that was gone. She had driven him away once too often, and just at the point when she could happily accept him as her husband, he no longer wanted her.

But she could not marry Ulric. She had already decided that Fanny was a much better match for him, and she must do what she could to make that happen. No, she should not interfere. She would release Ulric from his betrothal, and then she could leave it to Fanny to persuade him to marry her. If that was what he wanted to do.

Lady Peterson and Fanny came to see her while she was sipping her morning chocolate, to report that Ulric was fully recovered, and to assure themselves that she had not expired in the night.

“There’s some bruising,” Lady Peterson said. “I’ve brought some arnica—”

“I have some with me,” Tess said. “My maid has already applied it.”

“Excellent. Miss Nicholson…” She twisted her hands nervously. “Miss Nicholson, I shouldn’t like you to imagine that Ulric often becomes… enraged in this way. He likes to watch the full moon from the clock tower when he’s here, but he’d never before met anyone on the way there. When he grows more accustomed to you—”

“No,” Tess said quietly. “I was wrong to use Ulric in this way, for my own selfish purposes. I intend to release him from this foolish betrothal, and perhaps he will find a wife better suited to him, who knows?” She smiled at Fanny Peterson. “I shall leave Myercroft as soon as Lord Tarvin can arrange it, and then you may all return to your usual occupations and be easy.”

Fanny flushed and then laughed. “I believe this is the right decision, Miss Nicholson, but it’s a pity you had to be almost throttled before reaching it.”

Tess could not help smiling. “No, I had already realised what needed to be done, as anyone… any sensible person would have understood long since. I am very sorry to have caused you all so much trouble.”

“It’s of no consequence,” Lady Peterson said. “All’s well that ends well. Oh, I had almost forgotten. The letters came in late yesterday, and there’s one for you, franked by the Earl of Rennington.”

Tess waited until the Petersons had left before opening the letter, but it did nothing to improve her mood. Her uncle had considered all that she had said most carefully, but he did not consider it proper for an unmarried lady of only twenty to set up her own establishment, no matter how respectable her companion. She would be married in a few months and have a perfectly good home of her own, so what was the need? He would not sell Apstead House for the moment if she wished to keep it, but her husband would decide what should become of it in the end.

She had expected nothing else, so she was not disappointed. It did nothing to lift her spirits, however, nor did the morning bring any relief. She had to see Ulric first, which necessitated finding him, but she had no more than an hour to loiter in the stables before he returned from his morning ride. She took the precaution of asking Fanny to accompany her, in case of misunderstandings, but Ulric was a very different character this morning. He gave no hint of remembering their encounter the night before, accepted his dismissal with a nod and said only, “Pity. Should have liked to live at Myercroft with Fanny.”

The opportunity was too good to miss. “Then perhaps you should ask Fanny to marry you,” Tess said sweetly.

“Marry me, Fanny,” he said at once, turning vivid blue eyes on her.

“Thank you, Ulric, I should like that very much,” she said calmly. “Are you riding out again, or should we go and tell my parents that we are betrothed?”

“Not riding out yet. Time for breakfast.”

“Very well. Shall we go inside?”

Ulric set off at once, leaving the two ladies watching his retreating back. Fanny laughed. “That was easier than I expected!”

“And since you are already of age, you can be married as soon as the banns can be called,” Tess said.

“Oh, it might take a little time to coach him through the marriage service,” she said. “Still, time is one thing we have in abundance. But what of you? What will you do now? Marry Lord Tarvin?”

That cut Tess to the quick! Oh, if only she could answer as she wished! Instead she said only, “Unlikely, I think.”

“Really? You two are so well suited.”

It was true enough, but oh, how it hurt to hear it spoken so casually!

***

T ess was obliged to seek out Edward in order to put forward her plan to leave Myercroft that day. He was not at breakfast, so she had to send servants back and forth with messages. She had no idea which Edward she would encounter when she found him, the stern, implacable one or — No, there were no other possibilities, not after last night. He would be his disapproving self.

But he was not. If anything, he looked flustered, countered her stumbling apology for one of his own, and asked her three times if she had slept well. Each time she replied, “No, not at all,” but only on the third repetition did it register.

“I am so sorry,” he said, for at least the tenth time. “Of course you could not sleep. I should never have left you alone. You must have been terrified.”

“No… my door was locked… I was not afraid. I was just…”

What could she say? That she was desperately unhappy, and it was all his fault? That she would humbly marry him now on any terms? That she understood now that she loved him, just as he had once loved her?

Impossible. So she forced a smile. “I spent a great deal of time thinking. You will be relieved to hear that I have released Ulric from this betrothal, although I am afraid he has wasted no time in betrothing himself to someone else.”

His lips softened into something approaching a smile. “Miss Peterson? An excellent choice. But I must discuss this with Sir Ernest.”

“Will it take long? I should like to leave today, if possible. It would be less confusing for Ulric if I disappear completely.”

That brought back the frown. “True, and some details may be put in a letter, but there is much that must be said now. Very well, give me… oh, two hours, say. That should be enough, although we will have to overnight at Harfield.”

In the end, it was nearer three, but they were eventually on the road, Betty grimly pleased. She had already voiced her disapproval of households where a guest could be throttled in the night, so it suited her notions of respectability to beat a retreat.

Edward’s discussions with Sir Ernest had brought a degree of calm to Edward’s demeanour. He had handed her into the carriage with studied courtesy and now appeared to be making an effort to entertain her. When several attempts at conversation ran into the ground, he said, “We could play chess, if it would amuse you.”

Just a few days ago, she would have replied that no, it would not amuse her, but the new, chastened Tess said mildly, “Thank you, but I am not sure my mind has sufficient powers of concentration just now, but if you would like to—”

“No, no. I thought it might pass the time, but it is not far to Harfield.”

It might as well have been at the furthest end of the country, however, for they were not destined to reach it. Just a few moments later, they heard shouts, the whinnying of horses and thundering hooves, followed almost at once by an almighty bang. Betty screamed, the carriage lurched, and there was an ominous splintering sound, followed by more shouts, more whinnying and a gradual settling of the carriage to one side, as Betty slid slowly sideways onto Tess’s lap.

“Oh, wonderful,” Edward murmured. “Anyone hurt? Tess?”

“I am quite uninjured. Betty?”

Some muffled noises were all that could be heard at first, but once she had extricated herself from the rug over Tess’s knees, she agreed that she too was unhurt. The carriage was not so overset that they could not escape from it, but it was firmly fixed in the ditch.

“Carriage goin’ the other way, milord,” the coachman said. “Took the corner too fast. No way to avoid it.”

“It was not your fault, Purbeck, but we must get help,” Edward said. “There is a village ahead of us, and is that an inn I see? That is convenient. Do you and Harold stay with the horses, while I take Miss Nicholson and Betty to shelter. I will send someone back to help you directly.”

It was not much of an inn, more of a tavern for the locals, having only a taproom, but the occupants had heard the crash and a party was already setting off to render what aid they could. It was not much, they soon discovered. The horses, alarmed but not hurt, were speedily accommodated in the stables behind the inn, but the carriage could not even be shifted from the ditch, let alone mended, and there was no other conveyance available. There was not even a horse, whereby a message could be sent to Harfield.

“It is under ten miles from here, but we will not reach it tonight,” Edward said, ushering her into a hastily prepared private parlour. “The innkeeper has a room for you and Betty. I dare say the food is appalling, but it is only for one night.”

“Is there not a room for you?” Tess said, surprised.

“There is, but I cannot stay here. There is a church at the other end of the village, so I shall beg the parson for a bed for the night.”

“If you are thinking of my reputation—”

“Someone has to!”

“—that is all nonsense. Who is to know that we slept under the same roof? Besides, I have Betty to protect my virtue, should I wish to protect it.”

“Should you wish—! Good God, Tess, even now you still have the power to shock me. This is not a time for your wilfulness. I want to be able to look your mother in the eye when I return you to her care.”

“Do not abandon me here!” she cried, suddenly terrified.

His face softened instantly. “Oh, Tess! Of course I will not. I can sleep above the stables — it is a separate building.”

“No! Edward, I need to know that you are nearby… please… please! Stay with me.” Tears trickled down her face. She knew she was pathetic, to plead with him, beg him like a child, but she could not help it.

He took her face in his hands. “Hush, my darling,” he whispered. “I will not leave you, but you must understand that if this is ever discovered, we will be expected to marry. Nothing would please me more, but I know—”

“What?” she said, startled. “Then what was last night all about? You would not even kiss me!”

He groaned. “I dared not! My sweet innocent girl, you do not know your own power over men. There we were, both in our nightgowns and your hair all tumbled about your shoulders… have you any idea what the consequence of a kiss would be, in those circumstances? It would have ended in your bed, and then we would have had no choice at all but to marry. The last thing I want is to force you into something you find so distasteful.”

“But I do not.”

He stared at her, speechless, breathing heavily.

“Edward, I fell in love with Tom Shapman because I could see that he was a real man, capable of more than dancing the cotillion or shooting fat birds. Last night I realised that you are a real man, too.”

“Because I hit Ulric?”

“That, and because I could see your arms.” She giggled suddenly. “That sounds ridiculous, does it not?”

“So you saw me in my nightshirt and you instantly fell in love with me, is that it?” he said, his voice soft.

“I think I have been falling in love with you for a long time,” she said, serious again, resting her hands on his chest. “I thought you were dreadfully stuffy at first, but that is just a mask you wear to fool the world. When you rushed about climbing trees for me, or talked so amusingly about being a highwayman or a pirate, or… oh, Edward, those times when you were so gentle with me… No one had ever treated me that way before, but it was still fixed in my stupid head that you were just another effete nobleman underneath. So I loved you as a friend… a wonderful friend… a kissing friend. But then last night I finally saw you as a man. Do you understand?”

He nodded and drew her into his arms. “I always knew those boxing sessions would come in handy one day. I just never guessed it was the key to winning the heart of the woman I love. Will you marry me, Tess? Please?”

“I will, if you will forgive me for all my insults over these past weeks. Sometimes the words just come out of my mouth with no conscious thought, but I will try very hard not to hurt you with my thoughtless words in the future.”

“Darling girl, there is nothing to forgive. We have traded insults equally, it seems to me, but now that we understand each other, I trust we will both do better.”

“We will.” She smiled at him happily. “And now will you stay with me tonight?”

He kissed her forehead. “We shall eat dinner together, and then we shall retire to our separate rooms and you will have Betty and a locked door to protect your virtue. Now that we are betrothed, I am not to be trusted, my dear one.”

“But you could kiss me, could you not? There is no harm in that, is there?”

His answer was made without a word being spoken.