Page 43

I’ve worked every night for the last seven days straight with hardly any sleep.

Was I supposed to? Absolutely not. And when my boss, the hospital’s chief, realized it, he ordered me to the on-call room to sleep, which I did—barely.

?? Because I can’t sleep without knowing she’s safe.

I can’t sleep without her next to me. But being in the same building as her, breathing the same recycled hospital air, well, it’s the closest that I can get for now.

I deserve this punishment. I deserve all of it and worse. And after hearing her ask for her fucking ex? That’s just another nail in the coffin because no one else knows what Regan and I had and without her memories, I’m the only one who remembers.

I drop into a chair at one of the cafeteria tables while Scarlett grabs two trays of food and sets one in front of me. She eyes me critically.

“You look like shit.”

“Good.”

She cracks open a milk carton and slides it across the table before nudging the tray of food toward me.

“Please eat something, Hayes. She’s awake now. She seems to be okay other than the small loss of recent memories.”

“She doesn’t remember me. She doesn’t remember us. ”

Scarlett exhales, nodding slowly. “But she might. You have to be patient. How much of an us was there, by the way? I thought that this was all still fake.”

I shake my head because that was my fault too. I was adamant about this being a fake marriage. I told everyone on the outside that it was. I didn’t share with anyone what I was starting to feel for her. What I felt. She was the only person who knew.

“I didn’t get the chance to tell her everything that I was thinking.

I mean, I did a little bit, at the wedding, during dancing and the night before.

But we never had a chance to sit down and talk.

I was so fucking foolish, and scared still acting like a child.

But I’m not anymore. That night, I was on the way to apologize.

To tell her I want her. All of her. That I wanted this to be more when you came to the door. ”

She nods and touches my hand. “Just be patient then, Hayes.”

I know that. I know that. But I also know there’s a chance she won’t remember what we had, or she’ll remember and not want it back.

That she may realize I’m a fucking disaster that destroys everything in my path and she wants no part of it.

And maybe… maybe that’s the best thing for her.

Maybe it’s best for her heart and her future.

Erase me. Start fresh.

But fuck—it guts me.

Scarlett hesitates before speaking again. “Why don’t you go home? The horses… they’re getting delivered today, right?”

I blink, the past week blurring together and forgetting all about the horses I’d purchased for the property. “Weren’t you supposed to be in New York by now?”

She bites her lip and nods.

And just like that, I’ve ruined one more fucking thing. My sister’s trip.

“Yes, but I decided to extend my stay a bit. Just until you’re okay.”

I sit up straighter, shaking my head, because I refuse to do this. Refuse to make anything more about me. “I’m fine, Scarlett. You’re free to go.”

She rolls her eyes dramatically, like I’m the biggest idiot she’s ever met. “You’ve always been so stubborn.”

“I’m serious. Go to New York.”

“No.”

I slump back in the chair, dragging my hands down my face as I push the pasta salad around my plate with my fork. It looks like something I should eat. Something that might settle the gnawing pit in my stomach. But I can’t.

We sit in silence, the sterile hum of the hospital cafeteria filling the space between us. Scarlett takes a slow sip of her tea, watching me the way only a sister can like she sees straight through the walls I’m trying to put up. And then she breaks the silence again.

“What did Dad say to you? That night? What did he say that set you off?”

I rub my temples, resting my head in my hand because I really am exhausted, and my head feels like a lead weight.

“That he’s pretty sure I’m not even his son.

” The words come out flat, almost robotic, like saying them too softly might make them cut deeper.

The truth is, I should be thrilled to know I don’t share the same DNA with that blood sucker, but it still sings.

To be reminded once again that I’m still the kid nobody wants.

The one who was easy to beat on because I was nothing to him but free labor on his ranch that he abandoned.

Scarlett stills, her expression unreadable for a second before she shakes her head. “You’re nothing like him.”

“Neither are you and Seth.”

She nods. “I know. But that was a shitty thing for him to say on an already emotional day. I’m sorry, Hayes.”

I grunt in response, stabbing at my food without really eating it.

We sit in silence for a while longer, an hour passing with Scarlett filling the empty space with stories about her upcoming visit to New York and the happenings back home on the ranch.

I know she’s only talking to distract me, to keep my mind from spiraling while we wait for more news on Regan, and I appreciate it though I don’t show it.

Her voice is a low, steady hum, something grounding me when I feel like I’m floating just outside my own body.

Finally, she checks her watch. “The horses will be delivered in thirty minutes. We should really go.”

I don’t want to leave the hospital. I don’t want to leave Regan. But she’s probably right. Just then, the cafeteria door swings open, and Doctor Singh steps inside, her eyes scanning the room like she’s looking for someone. I push back my chair so fast that my fork clatters to the floor.

“Doctor. What’s going on?”

She smiles as she walks toward me, a clipboard tucked under her arm. “Hi, Doctor Walker. I just finished my assessment of Regan. She looks great.”

I exhale a breath. “Yeah?”

She nods. “No physical impairments or cognitive issues. We’ll start her in physical therapy tonight just to be sure, but aside from the lapse in her memory, she’s doing really well given the circumstances. The coma was the right decision.”

“When can she come home?”

“I’d say another two to three days, then we can re-evaluate.”

I nod, trying to process what that means. Where will she go when she’s discharged? Will she come home to our house at the Manor, or back to the Marshalls’? Does she even know where home is right now?

The cafeteria door swings open again, and this time, it’s Molly. “Hey, Hayes,” she says with a wave and a smile.

“Molly,” I nod back because despite everything, she’s probably been the most level-headed with me. I’m sure it’s her training as a cop and in crisis management that’s lending to that right now.

“I just saw her again,” she says, a glimmer of hope in her expression. “She looks really good.”

My stomach clenches. “Fuck, I’m happy to hear that. Does she… does she remember?”

Her smile falters. “No, she doesn’t. But I explained to her that she was in a car accident. That she bought Mrs. Mayberry’s Manor after she passed away and that’s where she’s been living. She seemed okay with that information so far.”

I let out a slow breath, nodding, trying to keep the panic at bay. “So, when are we going to tell her that I live there too?”

Molly hesitates before answering. “Declan’s coming by in a few hours after his shift at Whitewood Creek Plumbing.

He’s going to tell her about their breakup and his proposal that she turned down.

Rae, Lydia, and I are going to stick around for that to be sure he tells her the full truth.

Then we’ll explain your role. See if she remembers you from seven years ago. ”

I swallow hard. “And I can’t be there for that part?”

Molly shakes her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. This is a lot for her to take in.”

I huff out a breath, frustration gnawing at the edges of my restraint. I want to argue. I want to assert myself. But I also know she’s probably right and I’m done being selfish. I want to do what’s right for Regan, and besides, my girl is coming home.

Soon.

Scarlett grabs my hand, squeezing lightly. “Let’s go get the horses and clean up the house so it’s ready for when she gets back.”

I nod slowly. “Okay.” Then I turn back to Molly. “Thank you. For everything.”

She smiles, and to my surprise, pulls me into a tight hug, her grip so strong I swear I feel it in my chest. “I don’t blame you, Hayes.

For any of it. She’s okay. She’s going to be okay.

” She pulls back just enough to look me in the eyes.

“We’re all fighting our own demons, coming to terms with our emotions and feelings at different times.

We all have scattered, broken pasts that we’re trying to outrun. You really care for her, don’t you?”

My throat tightens. “Yeah, I do.”

She nods, something understanding in her expression. “Colt and her other brothers will come around. You’ll see.”

But I’m not so convinced. And frankly, I don’t give a fuck if they do. I’m not here to convince them of anything.

I’m here to convince Regan.