Page 24 of Second Position (Astor Hill #2)

Gen

I’ve been standing on the curb for almost fifteen minutes in a black silk gown and honestly, I feel like an idiot.

The last text I got from Will was from half an hour ago saying to come out, that he was about to pull up.

I stayed in the lobby for a while but after the third time Lawrence, my doorman, asked if he should call me a ride share, I decided to save myself the embarrassment.

The alternative: freezing in the pitch black of Boston’s October air.

The loud thumping of a car’s bass comes from somewhere in the distance and I clench my jaw, somehow immediately knowing it’s him.

His black G-Wagon rounds the corner way too fast, his brakes squealing with the movement, and I force my eyes shut.

I suck in a deep breath through my nose, the bitter taste of disappointment already pronouncing itself on my tongue as whatever rapper Will’s listening to disrupts the quiet night air.

I don’t know why I thought this would go differently, why I hoped that tonight would resemble the numerous charity galas Will and I were forced to go to growing up.

The ones where we’d get lost exploring the venue or play silly pranks on the other guests, dancing and laughing despite the immense pressure of our adolescence.

Will rolls down his passenger side window, his waves slightly unkempt, his five o’clock shadow unshaved, but as with most things, he still looks devastatingly handsome in the fitted tux he chose for tonight. I narrow my eyes at the goofy grin he has plastered on his face.

“You’re late.” My tone is short causing his smile to immediately fall, his body language becoming defensive.

“I told you I was pregaming with Scott.” I grit my teeth because no, he did not tell me that. Of course, he did not tell me that. I roll my eyes, opening the passenger side door, only for my nose to be hit with the scent of cheap liquor.

“Are you seriously drunk right now?” I feel the wrath in my eyes pulsing through my muscles as I grip the passenger side door.

“C’mon—we’re going to a party. I’m fine to drive.” Will feigns innocence, which only pisses me off more because somehow, no matter how much chaos he causes, he finds a way to be blameless.

I march over to the driver's side, ripping open his door. “Move. I’m driving,” I bite out.

Anger swirls inside me because this would happen.

He would be handling what's going on with Olivia in the worst way possible and, on top of that, he would lean on someone like Scott who does nothing but enable him to be the worst version of himself.

Will rolls his eyes, using his hands to guide my waist to the side so he can slide past me and the feeling of him feels foreign now, so different than it did yesterday. I move into the driver's side, adjusting Will’s seat settings as he huffs down beside me.

“You can never just relax and have fun,” he says under his breath, but I know he wants me to hear it .

“ Fun ? You call getting wasted with that asshole, fun?” I clench the steering wheel, wishing I never agreed to this. I should be sneaking around with Grant at this gala, not babysitting a mentally fragile man-child who I used to be in love with.

Used to .

The thought hits me like a punch to the gut, the idea that whatever cosmic tether joining me and Will may have been snipped leaving a hollow feeling there.

Because maybe I’m not in love with him the way I used to be.

Maybe I’ve spent the past two years holding on to this idea of who he was and only now that I’m finally looking at him clearly do I see it for what it is. A memory.

“Oh, so now you’re jealous of Scott, too?

” I know he’s bating me. I know he wants a fight.

It’s so classically Will. I should ignore it, drop him off at the gala and leave, but I feel used—and not for the first time.

No, for the past two years he’s been using me, whether it be to fill the void Lily left behind or as a way to make Olivia jealous.

“Don’t you think getting wasted and lashing out at the people who actually care, is getting a little tired?”

“I’m just saying, you’ve always had an issue with me and Olivia. You’re probably overjoyed that she ended it.” His voice is harsh and I know he means for it to be.

“ Of course I have an issue with you and Olivia. Your entire relationship is built on a lie , a lie that you can’t even admit exists. I mean, you can’t even say Lily’s name Will!”

“Jesus fucking christ, can we just not?” He runs his hand through his hair, the waves falling right back into his eyes.

“Sure—let’s not. I mean, we never do, right?

Let’s just keep pretending we didn’t know her, because that's been working out so well. In fact, let’s just not do this at all.

” I put his car in drive and swing it into the nearest parking spot, pushing the gear back into park.

I turn the key in the ignition, shutting off the engine.

My anger is fluid, ripping through me at wrapt speed and honestly, I’m more mad at myself than anyone for letting this go so far.

“Gen…stop. Look, I’m sorry.” He roughly rubs his hand over his face. “That was fucked up. There’s just a lot going on right now.”

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to pull clarity from thin air because Will is my oldest friend and the part of me that will always love him is warring with the part that knows that he isn’t my person anymore.

The realization that the past is just that— the past —makes me see him with a new lens.

Gone are the rose colored glasses that I put on when I was just a girl, the ones I didn’t realize I had on until recently.

Tears prick my eyes because I know I can’t be here anymore, but the guilt of that realization is astounding as it wraps its way around me.

Like me admitting I don’t want to be the one to pick up the pieces after he blows himself apart feels like a betrayal, even if I’m only admitting it to myself

“Let’s just go.” He nods to the road, gently begging me to let this go with his eyes. I slide my phone out of my clutch with a trembling hand and begin typing in Andy’s name.

“Seriously, Genny…” He slurs my name and it seals my decision as I text.

Can you take Will to the gala? I already left but he needs a ride. He’s been drinking.

Andy

Sure thing. Be there soon .

Will watches as I hit send then turns, lightly resting his head against the glass. “Okay Gen, awesome. Just leave like everyone else does.”

“Will, I can't?—”

“Can’t what?” His voice is full of hate and it breaks me, my tears now fully falling.

“I can’t just keep watching you fuck up your life. I know you miss her. I miss her. But I miss you more. I miss who you were and the craziest part is you’re still here .”

“Gen…” his voice softens as he reaches out for me, but I shrug him away.

“No. Don’t.” I open the driver's side door, forcing myself to step out into the crisp night air. I stand there for a second, looking into the dark green eyes I used to dream about. “I need time…some space.” I sniff, unable to wipe away my tears at the speed they’re falling, and despite my best efforts to steady it, my voice breaks. “I’m really sorry, Will.”

His jaw clenches and he blinks away the glassiness in his eyes. “Gen, you’re all I’ve got.”

I press my lips stifling the cry threatening to escape before shutting the door and walking away.