Page 99 of Second Act

“I’m done working for the day, so why not?” Hugh tossed the holster on the kitchen counter. “It will help me sleep on the plane.”

He, Gavin, and Allie were headed back to New York for the INK Literary Awards. Of course, the cynic in Hugh wondered how much the possibility of his presence at the ceremony had factored into the committee’s decision to create a special achievement award for Gavin, but he quashed it. Whatever the committee’s ulterior motives, the writer deserved the recognition.

Gavin handed him the tumbler of bourbon and settled down on the trailer’s sofa. “I know how you reduced us all to tears in that scene.”

“By being a great actor.” Hugh lifted his glass in a mock toast to himself before he sat in the chair opposite Gavin.

“By using your real feelings about Jessica.”

Hugh sent him a warning glare and took a sip of his drink. The alcohol slid down his throat with a smooth, welcome burn. Maybe he could drink enough to forget about Jessica for a few hours, since he didn’t have to face the camera again for three days. No one would care if he had a hangover.

“You see,” Gavin continued, impervious to Hugh’s dagger stare, “I know what’s really going on here. You’re not saving Jessica from a life of shallow pretense and vicious gossip. You’re saving yourself from the pain of losing her when she discovers what kind of life you think you lead. It’s fear, pure and simple.”

“Thank you for the amateur psychoanalysis.” Hugh wasn’t going to let Gavin get to him.

“I’ve been there, Hugh, with my mother. I was so terrified of how she might react to me that I refused to even try to find her. Until Allie convinced me that it was worse not taking the risk than it was to be rejected. Now my mother and I are establishing a real relationship. You have no idea how healing that is.”

Hugh did his best to fend off Gavin’s prodding. “My mother is dead.”

“Don’t be obtuse. You’re taking the coward’s way out.” Gavin leaned forward with unaccustomed earnestness. “No matter what you think, you deserve happiness. Don’t reject the gift of Jessica’s love because you’re afraid it might be taken away again. Grab it with both hands and hold on for the ride, because it’s a magnificent one. If it ends, at least you will have the memory of real joy to help you through the dark days.”

“Yes, I know the poem. I even read it at a charity gala once. ‘’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’ Thank you, Alfred, Lord Tennyson.” He was doing everything he could not to let Gavin’s words sink into his heart, but he was failing. Little feathered bursts of hope stirred faster than he could quell them.

“Now you’re being an ass.” Gavin continued to skewer him with his gaze. “You’ve loved this woman for years, admit it.”

“My fixation doesn’t mean we’re the right people for each other.” Hugh finally broke. “She left me once because of my career, and that career has only become more intrusive.”

“No, she left you because you made your needs more important than her needs.”

“I had one chance to succeed. I had to take it.” Hugh tried for a mocking smile but suspected he didn’t quite achieve it. “You should be glad I did, since I’m the personification of your fictional super spy.”

Gavin just looked at him. “Consider the fact that you’re going to be in New York and Jessica lives in New York. Start there and attempt to reach the correct conclusion about what you should do.” Gavin put down his glass and stood up. “I’ll see you at the airport.”

As the door closed behind his friend, Hugh swallowed the rest of his drink in one gulp. But all the bourbon in the bottle wouldn’t be enough to allow him to sleep on the plane tonight. Gavin had made sure of that.