Page 8 of Scarlet Promise (Yegorov Bratva #4)

“Demyan’s.”

“Why isn’t she here?”

“Because,” I snarl, “I almost got her killed.”

He frowns. “Look, I get it. Things got messy. Things get messy in life. Look at what happened with Demyan and his kid, Demyan and his wife. It happens.”

I know he’s right, but Demyan made things right. I messed things up with his sister. There’s a difference, and it’s a wonder I’m still breathing.

“It doesn’t happen to his sister.”

“She’s fine,” Isaak says.

I sigh. “That’s not the point. I should never have put her in that position in the first place.”

“Are you serious?” Isaak asks. “She convinced you, not the other way around.”

“Because I’m selfish.”

“Because Alina might sweet and mellow like honey is, but there’s a real sting there when she wants it.

She’s as headstrong and stubborn as her fucking brother.

She wanted the marriage, and she wasn’t about to take no for an answer.

She wanted to help you out. And that meant something. Besides, it was her choice.”

“To get kidnapped?” I shake my head.

“No, but she’s not some girl from Iowa who grew up with her church-going parents in a town with one lame horse.” He turns and marches off, leaving me no choice but to stumble after him into the kitchen. He sets about making coffee. “Alina isn’t unfamiliar with the bratva world.”

“Demyan and her father shielded her.”

“She still grew up in it. She’s not stupid. She knows how things go. She knows the rules. She knew what she was getting into by marrying you.”

“Not really,” I say, unsure who I’m trying to convince here. Him or me. “My position in Demyan’s household wasn’t pakhan, so?—”

“You think your job wasn’t dangerous? And you think you went into this bratva reckless? That’s not you, Ilya. You think things through. You make difficult decisions. One asshole managing to fool you isn’t your fault.”

“It is.”

Isaak pushes a cup into my hand then makes himself one. “I think you’re blaming yourself because it’s easier than fighting Demyan over this.”

“You’re right. I don’t want to fight him. Not when he’s right.”

“Is he?” Isaak sips his coffee. “That’s a shame because I never thought you were the type of guy to roll over and lie to yourself and give up when things got tough. Demyan can be wrong, you know.”

“So can I.”

“So can we all,” he says, “but my question is, are you wrong here? Are you rolling over for reasons you don’t want to face?”

I frown and take a swallow of coffee. Am I doing that? Rolling over and giving up for the reasons Isaak’s suggesting?

Thing is, I don’t know. Maybe. But placating Demyan isn’t the reason if I am. It’s the surface excuse. If I am rolling over, then it’s for Alina, to keep her safe.

But my head’s starting to pound again to be anywhere near clear.

Isaak sets his cup down, crosses to a drawer next to the sink, and rummages until he pulls out a bottle of pills.

He tosses them to me. “Take two.”

I catch the ibuprofen. “How…?”

“Svetlana gave me two pills from the bottle yesterday morning.”

He drains his cup and motions for me to do the same.

He makes us another round, then he points out the door to the hall. “Go and get changed. We’re hitting the gym.”

After the workout and my shower, I feel better. Clearer now. The workout ridded my body of toxins, and the painkillers kicked in to topple the hangover.

I’m clear enough to admit Isaak’s right.

The dynamics have changed, and I’m not sure how to navigate them. It’s easier to step back than to try and figure out how to handle the new structure of relationships between myself, Demyan, and Alina.

I don’t want the fallout to hurt me and Demyan. He’s family to me. And this shows me exactly how big a lie that is. Like family, but not family.

We’re close friends, maybe best friends, but it’s a different friendship dynamic to me and Isaak.

Thing is, we changed a little when Erin came along. I embraced her and Sasha. Who could ever reject them? But I stuck with Demyan through his struggles there.

I guess I expected the same.

But it isn’t.

Alina isn’t a girl he met through me. She’s his sister. It’s an immediate complication, which I knew.

Now things have shifted and can’t ever go back, not even if it’s over between me and Alina.

I need to work that out with Demyan, for my sake and his. And above all, for Alina’s sake.

As for her…she looked at me with love and trust when I found her.

She clung to me like I was important to her.

Like Max once was. We’re different, him and me, but this woman’s heart is so big that she can still love the memory of the man who loved her.

And, thrillingly, she can love me. I hope with all her heart.

If I bow to Demyan’s will, placate him, I’m doing Alina a disservice, treating her like she’s property. And she isn’t.

Demyan’s happiness should never come before hers.

It’s not fair to her, or to me. And ultimately, it won’t be fair to Demyan. His sister will end up resenting him.

Alina’s the most important player here.

And she’s been through so much, put everything on the line to be all in for me. She even made peace with her ghost of Max. I see that in her now. I knew that the moment she wanted more from me. When she opened to me completely.

She put everything on the line. For me.

It would be an asshole move not to fight for her.

I’m not ever that kind of asshole.

I’m a fool.

One who loves her.

I’m a fool who’ll burn the world for her.

And yes, I’m the man who’ll fight.

For Alina.