Page 21

Tied Up in Knots

Aleks

“I promise, we’re good down here,” I said for the third time, squeezing Mia’s knee where it hooked over the edge of the pier. We were facing the now-black water of the bay, listening to the waves crashing at our feet as we licked at our ice cream cones.

Mia still had her mask perched on her head, as if she was ready to yank it down at any moment, should someone approach us. But no one was giving us a second look. There were skaters practicing moves and filming themselves in the brightly lit courtyard behind us, families playing in the park to our right, lovers sprinkled along the edge of the pier just like us, caught up in their own world. James and Hunter lurked nearby, too, just in case.

“Mia,” I said on a laugh when she flinched at a passing skateboard, her hand flying up to the mask on her head. “This is Downtown St. Pete — not L.A. We are fine .”

I peeled the rubber off her head, letting it fall to the opposite side of me where she couldn’t reach it with a slap . Her worried eyes doubled in size as she peeked up at me, but I just nodded to the melting cone in her hand.

“You better get to licking, or you’re going to have a mess on your hands.”

Mia blinked, glancing at her dripping cone before running her tongue long and flat around the edges of it. It didn’t matter that she was a sweaty, smelly mess — that woman’s sweat was like catnip to me.

She still looked fucking gorgeous.

She still had me tied up in knots with the urge to touch her.

And she was still running her tongue all along that ice cream cone in a way that made it impossible not to imagine her licking something else.

I fought not to groan at the sight, reaching down to adjust myself in my shorts.

I thought I was slick about it, but Mia arched a brow, eyes falling to my lap before she met my gaze again. “You pervert — did you just cop a chub from watching me lick an ice cream cone?”

“Hey, have some consideration for the afflicted, okay? Going through a bit of a dry spell here,” I reminded her. “And it’s not my fault you’re licking and nibbling at that ice cream cone like a little nympho.” I licked my own cone on a shrug. “I’m just a man.”

“A nympho? ” She giggled. “What are we, sixteen again? I’m eating ice cream, Suter. It’s you who’s making it dirty.”

“Uh-huh. Says the one who called my cooking orgasmic last month.”

She chuckled to herself, shaking her head. I could see she was still pretty drunk — her eyes a bit glazed and unfocused as she kicked her feet. I’d watched her throw back so many shots tonight, I was surprised she was still awake.

I thought she was going to drop the conversation, but then, the little minx smiled like the devil, turning to face me more fully as she licked up the side of her cone. She made sure it was overtly slow, her eyes locked on mine as she sucked the tip of it into her mouth and moaned. She closed her eyes then, licking her lips after she swallowed the bite.

“So good ,” she said a bit breathlessly.

Fuck , I wanted to be immune to it. I wanted to be able to play it off casually. But my cock was hard as a rock now, pitching a damned tent in my shorts as my eyes stayed hooked on where her tongue was licking her lips clean.

When she opened her eyes and smiled at me, her cheeks pink and flushed, I decided two could play that game.

Without breaking, I held her gaze and lifted my cone to my mouth, licking up the side of it nice and slow with a low groan rumbling out of my chest. When I got to the top, I swirled my tongue in a tight circle before flicking it back and forth just like I’d do if the gods ever granted me access to the sweet fruit between Mia’s thighs.

“Mmm, you’re right,” I said, wiping the corner of my mouth with my thumb before I licked the chocolate ice cream off my skin. “Tasty.”

Mia’s next breath shuddered out of her parted lips, her tipsy eyes stuck to my mouth for the longest time before she shook it off, grunted, and shoved at my arm.

“You’re disgusting.”

“Keep telling yourself that’s what you were thinking just now.”

Before she could argue, I reached over and bopped her on the nose with my ice cream cone.

Her mouth popped open incredulously, “You did not just do that.”

“Did, too, and I’ll do it again.” I ran a finger through my ice cream and then tapped each of her cheeks.

“You brat!” She narrowed her gaze, bopping me with her own cone right on the chin. “Ha! How’s it feel?”

I got her a few more times, dodging her attempts to counterattack. When she tried to get some in my hair, I swooped out of the way and licked the creamy treat off her cheek.

“Ew!” But she laughed, and then she ducked in and licked my chin.

That lash of her tongue sent a jolt right between my thighs.

I couldn’t strike back, couldn’t laugh or get in another jab with my cone. My brain had gone haywire. It didn’t matter that it was a matter of seconds. That drag of her tongue against my flesh had occurred in slow motion in my mind, and now it was on repeat as I snagged her by the wrist and held her close to me.

I stared down my nose at her, Mia peering up at me with a mischievous smile. The longer I held her, the more that smile slipped, the energy between us warping into something electric to the touch.

I wanted to kiss her.

My nostrils flared with the restraint not to just do it. What would she do if I did? Would she let me? Would she kiss me back when there weren’t any cameras around to pretend for?

Before I could act on my impulsiveness, Mia pulled free from my grip and playfully shoved me again, her cheeks red enough I could see the blush even with us shrouded mostly in darkness.

She cleaned herself up with a napkin, handing me one to do the same, and then we both fell quiet as we ate the rest of our cones.

“Tonight was so fun,” she finally said, pausing before she glanced up at me. “I’ve never gone out like this before. Is this what you do all the time?”

I was still reeling from the feel of her tongue on me, but I tried to shake it off, zeroing my focus in on her question. “Not quite like this, not anymore at least. I’m more used to the VIP life now, I admit. But when I was a rookie in Seattle?” I nodded, eating the last of my cone. “All the time.”

“I bet you drank more when you went out back then. You barely drank at all tonight. Which is just rude. I’m way more drunk than you are right now.”

“Well, that’s because you’ve had approximately seven tequila shots and who knows how many cocktails.”

“And you nursed that whiskey for almost the entire night. It’s not nice, you know, to let a lady drink alone.”

She said that last part in a terrible British accent that made the corner of my mouth tilt.

“What can I say? I keep my promises.”

Mia cocked a brow.

“You said I’m not allowed to get drunk and make an ass of myself,” I reminded her.

“Right, because I was so sure you’d actually follow through.”

She scoffed a little, finishing off the last of her cone and wiping her hands together to dust off the crumbs. When she looked at me again, her smile slipped at the absence of mine.

“You don’t think I’m a man of my word?”

“I… I didn’t say that.”

“You implied it.”

She swallowed. “I just mean I didn’t really expect you to stop your lifestyle for this little stunt. I just thought maybe if I laid out some rules, you’d be discreet about it.”

Now, I wished I had something to drink, something to do other than lean back on my palms and look out at the dark water wondering if I’d ever be able to change her mind about me.

Wondering if she’d ever see me as anything more than a fucking brute.

I tried to keep my face neutral, to hide the sting that her words brought to my chest. Just when I thought maybe she saw more in me, she’d say shit like that and remind me I was wrong.

Then again, could I blame her if even I didn’t think any more of myself?

I’d lived a life no one else had, one that made me tick differently. When it came to motivators, I had none — there was no family to provide for or make proud, no parents to show off for, no wife to impress, no kid to set an example for.

There was just me.

And most days, the only thing that got me by was hockey.

Some days, not even that excited me.

Maybe that was why Mia didn’t trust me to keep a promise when I made it. But the sick part of this joke was that she was the only person in my life whom I felt the need to uphold my word with.

She was the only one I felt deserved better than what I had to offer.

“You know, even with a fish head mask, I’m pretty sure you could pull more pussy at that bar than any of the guys we were playing against.” Mia leaned back to mirror my stance, her statement shaking me out of my thoughts. “Did you see that bachelorette group tittering in the corner when we were playing yard pong? I was worried you were going to get mauled when you went to the bathroom.”

I wanted to sling a smart-ass remark back at her, but the best I could manage was a pathetic attempt at a grin as I continued to sulk over what she’d said before.

“Have you ever dated anyone since you moved out of Mom and Dad’s?” she asked, her voice softer now, more contemplative. “You know, like… seriously?”

“You already know the answer to that.”

“Humor me.”

I didn’t know why she needed to hear me say it. Even if it was sparse, I talked to Mia more than anyone else in my life. If anyone was going to know I was in a relationship, it would be her.

“No,” I answered.

“Did you ever want to?”

I swallowed, thinking about the time I booked a flight to L.A. with all the intentions in the world to tell Mia how I felt about her. We were both twenty at the time. I had just finished up my first season in the NHL. She was recording her debut album.

The night before I was supposed to fly, tabloids broke with photos of her and some rock star.

“Not really,” I lied.

“Hockey is the only love of your life, huh?”

I looked from the water to her. “If that’s what you think.”

“I don’t know what to think,” she shot back. “That’s why I’m asking. I… I just wonder if you ever want to settle down. If you want a wife one day… kids…” She shrugged. “Maybe it’s because we’re about to fake it to the whole world tomorrow, but it’s been on my mind.”

“Do you want that?” I asked, deflecting. “Marriage and kids, I mean. I know you mentioned you felt that way when you were with Austin. Do you still feel it now?”

“Yeah,” she said, a soft smile on her lips as her eyes scanned the dark waves. “Yeah, I really do. But it’s different now, you know? After Austin. I don’t want a husband just for the sake of one. I want…” She sighed. “I want the kind of love that consumes me. I want a partner and a friend, someone I can laugh and play and explore with. I want passion, raw and all-encompassing. I don’t want to just get married. I want to be married — committed mind, body, and soul to someone just as mad about me as I am about them.”

My nostrils flared at her admission, throat tight as I traced what little light was reaching the side of her face. My gaze stuck on her beauty mark, on the soft skin of her cheek just below that where I knew her dimple would appear if I made her smile big enough.

I wondered if her daughter would have that same dimple, if her son would have her bright blue eyes.

And then my stomach immediately bottomed out because I knew if she ever did have kids, they’d be with someone I’d never see as good enough for her.

I was pretty sure there wasn’t a man alive I’d classify in that category.

“That’s not fair, by the way,” she said, pointing her finger at me and doing a little wave with it. “You have to answer now.”

“Or what?”

She tapped her chin. “Or… I’ll throw you over this pier and into the shark-infested waters below.”

“Pretty sure there are no sharks down there. And also pretty sure you couldn’t throw me even an inch.”

“Fine. Then I’ll throw myself off.” She leaned forward dramatically to make her point, but actually lost her balance in the process, her eyes widening and a little yelp squeaking out of her as she nearly toppled into the water.

I caught her easily with one hand, hooking it around her elbow and hauling her into me. She was so slight that I didn’t realize just how easily she’d come with the motion, and now she was half in my lap, one hand on my chest and the other wrapped around my neck as I looked down my nose at her.

Once again, she was close enough to kiss.

If I just tugged her up another inch, if I lowered my chin and angled my mouth for hers, I could taste her. I could inhale that sweet gasp I hoped she’d let out, could savor the way she’d melt into my arms.

Or was that only when it was for show?

As if she realized where my mind was, I felt her stiffen — like she was afraid I was going to kiss her instead of being anything close to excited about it. I blinked and remembered last week at her album release party, when I’d been just tempted enough to say fuck it and kiss her for real.

But she’d reminded me there were no cameras around.

She’d made it clear that was the only time she wanted my lips on hers.

I swallowed, reluctantly releasing my grip on her and helping her sit upright. But even when she was no longer in my lap, her hand still clung to my chest, her fingertips fisting in my hoodie just enough to hold me in place.

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” I finally said, my voice rough.

Mia blinked. “What… what do you mean?”

“If I did want a wife, kids… it doesn’t matter.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s not the story meant to play out for everyone, Mia.”

“Why couldn’t it be the one for you?”

I smirked, a breath of a laugh leaving my nose as I swept her damp hair back and off her face. “What do I have to offer a woman as a lifetime partner? What do I have to offer a child as a father?” I shook my head. “I have a disease in me, Mia. One I was born with that will never leave me. Addict blood runs through me.”

“Aleks…”

“It’s true. You’ve seen me when I drink, when I give in to other ways of numbing myself. I know you still remember the Fourth of July.”

I pinned her with my gaze then, daring her to tell me I was wrong.

She didn’t.

“I have to actively fight not to let it ruin my life the way it did my parents’,” I continued, voice hoarse. “And honestly, some days, I wonder if that fight is even worth it. I don’t have a big, beautiful family to share with someone. I don’t have a lifetime of wonderful childhood memories. I’m not some well-adjusted gentleman with friends and a financial plan. I’m just…” I shrugged. “I’m just a hockey player. And some days, I’m barely that.”

Mia’s eyes flicked between mine, and I wasn’t sure if she realized she had twisted her hand up even more in my shirt, that she’d pulled me closer to her.

“You’re more than what has happened to you,” she whispered.

But did she really believe that?

The way she joked with me, the things she said about how I acted… I wasn’t so sure.

And right now, she was three sheets to the wind, as her mother would say — drunk and in a state where she could say anything, if the tequila willed her to.

Last time she had been this drunk with me, she’d asked me to kiss her.

And then the next day, she’d told me it was a mistake.

I cleared my throat, folding my hand over hers just long enough to peel her fingers off me. I stood, gently helping her up, too.

“Come on,” I said. “Let’s get you to your place. We have a big day tomorrow.”

I tried to smile with that, giving her a little wink that said I was fine and the conversation was a buried one. I didn’t miss her frown even as it disappeared under her mask. I pulled mine down, too, grabbing her hand and calling a cab as we walked toward the parking lot. James and Hunter followed from a distance behind us, but I knew they were there making sure Mia was okay.

I was thankful for them, even if I felt Mia was safe with me. I liked that she had good guys on her team to protect her.

Mia was staying in a secluded mansion on Davis Island, one not too far from where Will Perry lived with Chloe and Ava.

When we pulled up the drive and the cab driver put the car in park, I wondered what it could be like to live this life with her. What if we were coming home from a night out and instead of me walking her to her door, I was walking inside with her? What would it feel like to help her undress, to sink into a hot bath together, to hold her and touch her and make her mine in every way?

I could see it, for that split second — the family she asked me about.

But as soon as it manifested, it was gone, erased in a cloud of reality.

One of her security guards was at the door when I walked her up to it. James. He nodded in greeting, but otherwise pretended like we didn’t exist, his eyes on the perimeter of the house.

“Thank you,” Mia said softly. “For tonight. I… I can’t tell you how much fun I had, how much I needed that.”

“Always here for a good time.” I leaned in, brushing a quick kiss across her cheek. “See you tomorrow, almost fiancée.”

Then, I backed away with a cocky wink I hoped was more convincing than the unsteady beat of my heart.