Page 38 of Save Me (Maxton Hall #1)

James

“I told you to stay away from that girl.”

I stare out of the window. The dark fields blur into one with the trees, almost completely bare now, a single, dark mass.

Which is pretty much how my insides feel too, at this moment.

I’m hot and cold all at once, the palms of my hands are clammy, and my throat is dry.

I feel sick when the opposite ought to be true.

I wish I could be back with Ruby, her beautiful lips and the feeling she gave me. In my mind, she’s still in my arms; I’m enjoying her burying her hands in my hair and gently biting my lips.

If we hadn’t been interrupted, I’d have done much more than just kiss her.

“I’m speaking to you,” my father repeats. I feel sure that he’s about to throw his glass across the car. Telling Percy I’d go home with my parents was the stupidest idea I’ve had in a long time.

“James, darling, we only want the best for you,” my mother adds more diplomatically. I can’t look at either of them. If I did, the rage would boil over inside me, and I don’t know if I’d be able to tune out after that.

Why did this have to happen today, of all days? Why did Dad have to catch me with Ruby at exactly that moment?

“A scholarship girl from a working-class background with a tragic family history is not quite what we had in mind for you,” Mum continues.

I yank my head around to stare at her. I want to ask her how the hell she knows so much about Ruby, but it doesn’t actually surprise me.

Nothing about my family surprises me anymore.

“You can do better than that, darling. Someone like Elaine Ellington, maybe. I hear that you two get on well—why not invite her to the house one of these days?” My mother’s voice is calm and soothing. I know she wants to patch up the mood between Dad and me, but it’s way too late for that.

“There will never be anything between Elaine and me, Mum.” Besides that, I’m pretty sure she’s dropped out of uni and is desperate to hide that fact.

Being from a blue-blooded family doesn’t make her a better person than Ruby.

Ruby works harder than anyone to get what she wants.

She’s intelligent, good-hearted, and…gorgeous.

A great kisser. And an even better listener.

Instantly, the image of her pops up in my head again. Remembering her mouth is the only thing getting me through this drive. I wish we’d had more time. The few minutes with her were definitely not enough.

“Don’t embarrass the family by getting involved with a little gold digger like that,” my father continues. “I find your behavior distasteful. We brought you up better than that.”

Despite my best efforts, I can’t ignore him any longer. Not when he talks about Ruby like that. Seething rage bubbles over inside me, and my eyes are filled with fury as I turn on him. “Shut it.”

My mother gasps in outrage; beside me, Lydia stiffens. She reaches for my hand, but I snatch it away. She gets to sleep with her teacher, but I’m not even allowed to spend time with someone I like without a lecture?

The car stops, and we undo our seat belts. I wait for Lydia and Mum to get out, then I follow them. My father is close behind me, and before I’ve even taken two steps, he takes my shoulder and pulls me back, turning me to face him. He grabs my collar and shakes me.

“How dare you speak to me like that?” he growls, pushing me away so hard that I stumble back.

The next moment, he lashes out, slapping my face with the back of his hand.

Pain shoots through my cheek, and for a second, all I can see are the bright dots dancing in front of my eyes.

A metallic taste spreads through my mouth.

“For God’s sake, Dad!” Lydia cries, running to me. She puts an arm around my back and holds me tight before I can do anything so stupid as to hit back. I’d love that so much—just to hit back. To cause him the same pain that he’s caused me since I was a kid.

Mum takes Dad by the arm. He tears himself away from her, turns, and stomps into the house.

Once he’s gone, she looks sorrowfully at me.

“This is what comes of spending time with the wrong sort of people, James.” Then she lifts her huge skirts to hurry after my father.

I watch them walk away and try to suppress the rage that is slowly but surely developing into a hatred that I don’t want to feel.

I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and then study the blood on my skin as if it belonged to someone else.

Lydia stands in front of me and takes me by the shoulders. “Is she really worth the stress, James?” she asks urgently.

I look at her, way too worked up to really think about her question. “Mind your own shit,” I growl, pulling away from her hands. I turn tail and walk across the courtyard back to the main gates. As I go, I dig my phone out of my pocket and dial Wren’s number.

I’m in urgent need of a distraction.

It takes three drinks before the anger starts to ebb away. I’m leaning against the wall in Wren’s parents’ sitting room, drinking whisky from a crystal glass and allowing the thumping music to gradually numb my thoughts.

“Well, look at that. The prodigal returns.” Cyril’s voice sounds behind me. I turn and face him as he walks toward me, arms outstretched, a mocking grin on his face.

“To what do we owe the honor?” he continues. He’s about to say something else, but then he sees my mouth and whistles through his teeth instead. “That looks bad, mate.”

I don’t answer, just down the rest of my drink. I can hold my booze, but my cheeks already feel numb.

“Leave him alone, Cy,” Wren calls from the sofa.

There’s a blond girl snuggled up with him, running her hand up and down his thigh.

She looks familiar, and when she lifts her head from his shoulder, I see why.

Camille. Last I knew, she was with Kesh, not Wren, but these things change quite frequently.

“What’s wrong with you, Beaufort?” Cyril asks again, putting an arm around my shoulders and steering me onto another sofa.

I let myself fall onto it and rub my sore face while Cyril pours another glass for me and holds it out.

“The James I grew up with doesn’t let anyone push him around.

He doesn’t get suspended from the team, and he won’t do anyone’s dirty work for them. ”

Cyril calling everything I’ve done with the events team in the last few weeks “dirty work” makes new rage build up inside me, but I restrain myself.

He is what he is, and I’ve had enough stress this evening already.

All I want is to get drunk, to drink until I can’t feel a thing.

Not Dad’s hand and not Ruby’s lips either. “I had no choice. You know that.”

“Bullshit,” says Wren. His eyes flicker with amusement. “Ruby just makes you horny.”

I don’t answer, just take a sip and close my eyes. Whatever Cyril’s mixed me, it’s strong enough to burn its way down my throat to my stomach.

“Are you serious? You put up with all that shit because you’re into Ruby Bell?” Cyril asks in surprise.

“That’s why he’s changed.” Wren’s not looking at me as he says that, but at Camille, whose hair he’s stroking pensively.

“He’s been sucking right up to her. You should have seen him at the last few meetings,” she puts in. She looks sympathetically at me. “Or did you just do that so you could get back to lacrosse quicker?”

Glass halfway to my lips, I pause. “Where did you hear that?”

“Ruby told us before the party.”

I frown and look at Wren, who is still stroking Camille’s hair. Is that why he brought her home this evening? So he could question her about me?

“I haven’t changed.” My tongue feels heavy as I say that, and the words are hushed and slurred.

“Yes, you have.” Alistair drops onto the sofa to my left. His golden hair is a mess, and his cheeks are flushed. Either he’s had a few already, or he left the party with some guy, and he’s come straight from Wren’s spare bedroom.

“How have I changed, if you please?” I ask, deliberately calmly, trying to kid myself that I don’t care what they think of me.

Alistair lifts a hand and ticks the points off on his fingers.

“One, you don’t party with us anymore, or if you do you leave before dawn, which the old James Beaufort would never have done.

Two, you’re happy to spend your free time with the geeks on the events team—nothing personal, Camille.

” She sticks her middle finger up at him.

“Three, you suddenly don’t give a fuck about our deal. ”

“I didn’t come here to listen to this bullshit.”

Alistair raises an eyebrow. “It’s not bullshit, and you know it.”

“Alistair’s right. We want to enjoy our last year of school and really live it up,” Wren says. “That was the deal. Carpe fucking diem, mate. Every day, so long as we’re together. The sad part is that somewhere along the way, you seem to have lost the James who got every party started.”

I lean back and take another swig, although it burns. The truth of his words gets through to me, and my stomach knots.

They’re right.

The plan was to make the upper sixth the best year of my life and enjoy the time with my mates. The lads who’ve been a second family to me. The plan was not to develop feelings for someone I can have no future with.

I can still taste Ruby on my lips and feel her hands on my body. Unfortunately, all that means is that I’m still way too sober.

Ruby gave me a feeling I’ve never known before. Which is that, with her at my side, everything is possible. A beautiful, ugly lie. Because the truth is that, for me, nothing is possible. Unlike her, the world is not my oyster. The course of my life is preset.

Maybe that was exactly what attracted me to Ruby in the first place. She takes her life in her own hands while I’m just a puppet, pulled this way and that. She can live while I just exist.

We don’t fit together.

I only wish I’d realized that before I kissed her.