Page 31 of Savagely Mated (Shared Mates #1)

I bet we never talk about what happened when I was young, when he knew about my existence and decided to just leave me to my fate here.

Putting my clothes back on does not feel good. There’s the shame of being naked like this, of being exposed and inspected by Einar. There’s just something about the way he looks at me. Something hard in his eyes, something that appraises me on levels I can’t begin to understand.

This man doesn’t miss a thing. Running drills in this state was not fun in any sense. I tried my best, though, and I know if anybody else was watching they wouldn’t have noticed. Einar notices everything.

He stoops down a little in front of me. “I need you to understand something, Darcy,” he says.

“What?”

“I need you to be honest with me, about everything. I don’t want you to be hurt, or suffering. Even if you’ve made a mistake.”

“You fucking caned me,” I curse. “You don’t care if I am in pain…”

“Not here,” he says. “Not here. Come on. You can yell at me outside the walls.”

Einar drives me to the doctor, whose surgery is located in the upper district. Very pricey. There’s no shortage of money funding these rebels. I guess Kirin’s paying. Or maybe there are other sources of money. I don’t know. I don’t care, really.

I’m sort of surprised he’s doing this. I figured he’d just tell me to behave better, or ride better, or not be so stupid.

He’s actually being careful. I tell myself it’s just because he can’t handle me being hurt.

He needs me in one piece. But there’s a part of me that wants to believe that he cares about me, more than just being my mate, I mean.

The mate bond is weird. It’s like a desire you can’t control, a compulsion to be with a person. But it doesn’t mean you know them, and I don’t know if it counts as love. I think love is something that grows over time. It comes from really knowing one another.

I don’t think any of us really know each other yet.

We’ve been thrown together by fate and biology and that’s it.

What Kirin and I had up on the hill, that felt like love.

But coming back to Eclipse feels like it poisoned the connection somehow.

Kirin’s still looking out for me, but it’s in that laddish, harsh way he used to act like.

The Kirin who existed on the village hill seems to have gone away completely.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Einar interrupts my thoughts with another question.

“Of course I don’t.”

“Alright, tell me what happened.”

“I got the bike out and I went for a ride and I crashed into a bush. Not really much to say,” I say, admitting everything because nothing matters anyway.

“You rode recklessly and hurt yourself, and you did that somewhere between getting caned and now. Do I need to ask if you had help, or can I assume Kirin helped you cover this up?”

“I’m not telling on anybody,” I say.

He drops a kiss on my forehead. It’s unexpectedly sweet. I don’t know how to read this man. Sometimes he is sweet and other times he is so fucking mean. I can’t start to read or understand him.

Einar

The doctor comes in and does his tests and things.

Darcy is actually quite well behaved for the whole procedure, which surprises me.

Her words are still echoing in my ears. Being accused of abandoning her rankles.

I didn’t know her. She was just a random kid, and there were others far more qualified to look after her than I was.

Then I think about what it must have been like growing up in the academy with nobody really taking a true interest in her.

The director is an admirable woman, but she clearly did not provide any extra attention to Darcy.

My mate had been raised in an institution, and I could have done something about it.

“Mr. Bitten?” The doctor pulls me from my reverie.

“Yes?”

“Scans and blood indicate no serious internal damage. She should feel better in the next few days, once the bruising subsides. Maybe keep her off the road. I’ve given her some pain relief that will make her somewhat sleepy. I’d put her to bed for the rest of the day.”

“I feel good,” Darcy grins. “Really good.”

I do just that. I take her home and put her to bed. The meds the doc gave her seem to kick in pretty quickly, so she has less to say for herself than usual, at least for the first part of the drive home. Once she gets into the house, it’s like a switch has been flipped as I help her up the stairs.

“I hate the uniform. It doesn’t fit and it feels bad.”

“I’m sorry,” I tell her.

“I hate the academy. I want to be a delivery driver.”

“Mhm. I know.”

“I am a good delivery driver,” she mumbles. “I was really, really good at deliveries. I did things nobody else would and I got the packages where we, where they needed to be. You should let me be a delivery driver. I miss Jory.”

“Who is Jory?”

“Used to be my friend, but now he’s getting married and he can’t be my friend because I’m a bad influence.”

“Are you now.”

“Yes. I can’t be around decent people, or good people. That’s why I should be a delivery driver. D2G doesn’t care if I’m a good people.”

She’s slurring her words, and mixing some up, but her meaning is clear.

She’s a sad girl and she doesn’t think she’s capable of being good.

I wish she had any comprehension of how incredible she really is.

Now is not the time to tell her, though, mostly because I don’t think she’s going to remember any of it.

Once we’re upstairs, I help her get her clothes off and put her into bed.

“You’re tucking me in,” she mumbles.

“Yes, I am,” I say as I settle the comforter where it needs to be.

“I’ve never been tucked in before. Maybe once, when I slept at Jory’s house years and years ago. His mom tucked us both in. That was the one time. She’s dead now.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“She was a nice lady. You’re a nice…” She peers up at me. “You’re growing a beard.”

“Mhm. And you’re going to sleep. I’ll see you when you wake up.” I drop a kiss on her forehead and go turn the light out.

“Wait, Einar.”

“Yes?”

I turn back to see what else she has to say, but she’s already asleep.

Rafe gives me a surprised look as he enters the room. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at school?” He slings himself into an armchair nearby and gives me an inquisitive smile.

“I had to bring Darcy home because she was injured in a motorcycle accident that nobody told me about.”

Just as I say that, Kirin walks into the room. He hears the words ‘motorcycle accident,’ shakes his head no, and spins on his heel to leave.

“You should stay, Kirin,” I say. “There’s a lot we all need to talk about.”

He gives me a look, folds his arms over his chest, and leans against the door frame. Good place to be if you plan to make a quick escape.

“We drilled pretty hard today,” I say. “A lot of sparring. Darcy was slower than usual. Turns out, she was in an accident last night. An accident nobody reported to me, or got her medical care for.”

“I knew her bike was down the road,” Rafe says. “I assumed Kirin had chased her down and taken her home from there.”

“So you decided not to tell either of us that our mate was injured.” I look at Kirin, and I try very hard not to lose my temper with him. I know that going off on him will not help.

“She seemed fine,” he shrugs. “She was talking, she was walking. If I’d told you, you’d probably have whipped her ass again.”

“If you’d told me, I would have gotten her checked before I whipped her ass, and I wouldn’t have made her run ten miles today and get that same ass kicked by every kid in the damn class.”

Kirin looks at me impassively. “She has words. She could have told you. Says something that she didn’t.”

“Yes. It does.”

Rafe is listening quietly. He tried to tell me I was going too far with Darcy and I told him he was wrong. Now I am starting to wonder if he was at least a little bit right.

“You can say I told you so,” I tell him.

“I don’t think so. I thought about what you said, and I think you were right. If Darcy got herself into trouble, hurt herself, then didn’t tell anyone… Darcy has to learn to talk.”

Rafe has a tendency to be very fair. He’s showing me more grace than I expected.

“We have to be transparent with each other. We can’t keep secrets.”

“I think we have to keep secrets,” Kirin says, ever contrary. “I’m not going to run to you every time she sneezes.”

“No, because half the time you implicate yourself.”

“I’m not one of your students, Einar,” Kirin scowls. “I don’t answer to you.”

“Actually, you do.”

“Not like that. I’ll do what needs to be done for the cause, but I’m not going to submit every single detail of my romantic life to you.”

This is complicated. It would be a lot easier if Darcy was mated to just one of us. Then there would be a single chain of command, as it were. Right now, we all have claim. We all have responsibility, too.

“You should have told us,” Rafe interjects. “We need to know what happens to her.”

“You knew some of it.”

“Kirin, both Einar and I are telling you that we need to know. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Kirin says. “I understand. Can I go? Or do the two of you want to keep lecturing me because you mishandled our mate and she damn near fucking killed herself as a result?”

I fight my temper down and stay silent. Rafe can deal with him.

“You are forgetting yourself, Kirin,” Rafe says. There is a quiet threat in those words. Rafe doesn’t get angry often, or quickly, but Darcy’s injury combined with Kirin’s attitude is not pleasing him.

“I don’t forget anything. I don’t forget who I am doing all of this for. I don’t forget why I am doing it. And I still don’t intend to be a little bitch and snitch out my mate.”

I really thought the whelp was getting closer to understanding the stakes here, but Kirin’s digging in.

“Very well,” Rafe says.

“Very well,” Kirin replies. “By your leave, your majesties.”

With that, he walks out. We let him go.