Page 36

CHAPTER 36

Max

T he incessant blip of my heartbeat on the monitor next to my hospital bed is anything but restful. I ask the nurse if they can silence it, but she informs me of a lengthy ICU policy which ends in no.

I reach for the cup of water on the bedside table and sip it slowly. The cool water feels wonderful as it passes my chapped lips and sore throat. I don’t remember being choked, but if the bruising around my throat is any indication, I have been—an inch from my life. The door to my room opens, and I half expect a very experienced and no-nonsense nurse to come in and educate me on how lucky I am to be alive. Though, after multiple attacks on myself and my friends, I feel far from lucky.

Someone pulls the curtain back enough for them to pop their head through and say hello.

“Max? Is it all right if I come in?” Ben asks.

My stomach tightens when I think about the last talk we had, but I am also relieved to see him up and around. “Come in, please… I was hoping we were brought to the same hospital. Ho w’d you find me? I thought I was listed as a John Doe until the police decide I’m safe.”

Ben wheels himself past the curtain in his wheelchair. “I work here... I know how to access the computer.” He shrugs. “Just don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to get into trouble.”

“Believe me, I won’t say a word.” I smile. “You’re in a wheelchair? Are you able to walk?” I glance down at Ben’s legs but don’t see any braces or casts.

“Hospital policy. I’m not able to walk around the hallways without someone accompanying me, and I couldn’t wait to come see how you were doing.”

The usual warm fuzzy feeling whenever Ben complimented me or smiled in my direction, settles into my soul. “It’s really great to see you.”

Ben looks away for a moment. “I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you as soon as I made the connection that I was your surgeon back when you were attacked by The Butcher.”

At the mention of the serial killer’s name, and the fact Ben had been my surgeon, my scars tingle. Reaching for my lower chest and side, my heart pounds away as the memories come flooding back. How had I never known he’d been my surgeon? Had I not cared?

Swallowing hard, I think for a moment. Soon, my heart rate drops, my scars settle back down and the memories vanish. It hadn’t mattered who my surgeon was at the time, because he’d saved my life. Now is the time to thank him. Properly… a nice blow job, maybe?

I hide a smile with my hand as I see the confused look cross Ben’s face, clearly wondering what I’m thinking. I wave away his concern. “Don’t mention it.” Although it’s nice to hear an apology, I don’t really need one. There wasn’t anything to be sorry for... Ben had saved my life back then.

“There’s a lot to consider... you know, between you and me. I’ve never dated one of my patients. Do you technically even still count as one of my patients?”

“Would it help if I officially fire you as my surgeon?” I laugh. “Because there’s not going to be any stupid rules standing in my way if I can at all help it.”

“Does it seem weird to you?”

“Does what seem weird? That you saved my life in the past?” I shake my head. “I’m as surprised as you clearly are, but I think it gives our…whatever this is,” I gesture between us, “more meaning. I mean, you saved my life, Ben. You literally sewed me up and gave me a fighting chance to live my life and I have. I’ve done exactly what I am meant to do.”

“So… what you’re saying is you like having a surgeon as your boyfriend.”

I smile, large and without trying to hide my happiness for the first time in a long time. “Boyfriends? I like the sound of that.”

“Me too,” he says.

I reach out my hand. “Come closer, I want a better look at you.”

Ben wheels over to the side of the bed and takes my hand. I hold onto him. Ben leans in, and we softly kiss. I close my eyes as tears once again well up and threaten to track down my cheeks.

“Are you okay?” Ben asks as he pulls away. We look into each other’s eyes, and I find love there. Ben reaches up and wipes away a tear from my cheek and kisses me softly where the tears had been.

I nod and sniff back my emotions so I can speak. “I’m falling for you. Hard.”

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“I’m scared if you leave on your doctor’s mission, what we have will disappear. But I can’t ask you to stay either. I want you to follow your heart. I just desperately want a place in it. ”

Ben once again leans in and kisses me, softly on the mouth before hugging me tight. “I knew from the moment I set eyes on you, that you’d be someone special in my life. And it wasn’t just the overhead lighting in Taco Caliente and how it really brought out the sparkle in your eyes.”

I smile and feel my cheeks blush as I see tears welling up in Ben’s eyes.

He continues, “The idea of leaving you behind terrifies me, too. And for the record, Doctors Without Borders has canceled my contract due to my recent injuries. I am free to apply once I’m healed.”

“How do you feel about that?” I ask.

His expression softens. “I think it’s the best thing that could have happened to me… to us.”

“Just so I’m clear, until you’re fully healed and the organization can reevaluate your situation, you’ll be staying here in Los Angeles?”

He nods. “I’m not going to reapply.”

My heart pumps hard and I fight back the urge to yell out a victory cry. I will have a chance to pursue a relationship with the man of my dreams.

The door to my hospital room swings open, and a nurse steps inside. “Dr. Cooper, you know we have redress your wound. What are you doing hiding in here?”

Ben blushes. “Sorry about that, Nancy. I had to come and make sure my boyfriend was healing up okay.”

Nancy’s eyebrows shoot up as she affixes a stare on me. “Dr. Cooper, you are so cute. And you have yourself a nice-looking man right there too.”

“Thank you, Nancy.” Ben smiles at her and gives me a wink.

“But if you don’t get your behind back in your own room so I can clean you up, I’m going to have your doctor order you an enema. ”

I burst out laughing, and Ben turns a deeper shade of pink.

“Come on now, I’ll push,” she says before turning back to me. “It was sure nice meeting you, sweetheart. I’ll take good care of Dr. Ben for you.”

“I appreciate it, Nancy.” I wave goodbye and lay back against the bed.

As they exit the room, Bretton comes in to see me. “Hey man,” he says.

I smile. “Thank you so much for saving my life. If it hadn’t been for you stalking me, I would never have made it.”

Bretton chuckles. “I’m glad I could help.” He comes and stands next to the bed. “Max, I want to tell you something, and I don’t want it to be weird.”

“Okay, lay it on me.”

“First, I want to express how happy I am that you survived. You and your friends and boyfriend are lucky to have escaped the clutches of The Butcher. I don’t know if you’re aware of it or not, but during those two-plus years he was supposedly dead and gone, he’s linked to ten homicides. Each and every one of those innocent people met with a gruesome death. You ended that. It was you, Max. Don’t ever second-guess yourself again, because you’re a badass.”

I smile. “Thank you, Bretton. Your words mean more to me than you can possibly know.” I think about how hard it had been the past few years; unable to pull the trigger of a gun, difficulty sleeping, always feeling something was off, and not feeling open and vulnerable enough to date.

“Anyway, I just wanted you to know that.”

“Well, that wasn’t weird at all. What was supposed to make me feel weird?”

Bretton clears his throat and looks out the hospital window for a few moments. “A few years ago, I lost my wife. She was murdered, bled out right in front of me as I drove her to the hospital. A crazy-ass psychopath had walked into our home and shot her point-blank in the chest.”

A lump forms in my throat.

He turns and faces me. “I’ve been living my life in a daze ever since, unable to connect with anyone and not really caring that I couldn’t.”

“I’m sorry, Bretton. I had no idea.”

He shakes his head and shrugs. “How could you? I lied about who I was. I guess I wanted to thank you for being such a good person. I’ve somehow passed through my daze and finally connected with someone.”

“Me?” I ask.

He nods. “Please don’t take this wrong, but you’re the first person I’ve cared about in so long, I started questioning my own sexual orientation.”

I smile and look down. “I mean, I am pretty hot.”

Bretton laughs through the tears. “You sure are something.”

The room grows quiet. “I hope we can remain friends,” I say.

Bretton nods, wipes his cheeks dry, and smiles. “I would love that.” He shakes my hand and makes his way to the door but stops short and turns back. “Please take care of yourself, Max.”

“You, too.” I watch as my new friend leaves the room.

I rest my head back into the pillow and close my eyes. Fatigue is settling over me like a warm, soft, blanket. While I have a lot of physical and emotional healing to do, sleep will soon be here. It may be naive to hope, but there’s a big part of me doing just that, to fall asleep without nightmares. To have a peaceful rest throughout the night. Allowing myself to leave my past where it belongs… in the past.