Page 43 of Savage Blood (Den of Shadows #6)

Chapter

Twenty-Eight

As my boots sank into the plush carpet that ran down the hall, I lifted my trembling hand to the wood—and hesitated. My heart tapped out a frantic beat, and a fine layer of sweat slicked my nape.

Was I really about to do this?

The door jerked open, and a female wolf shifter’s bloodshot brown eyes widened.

“Sadie?”

The woman from Blackwater Falls, who most definitely carried a giant torch for Saint, blinked, her lips parting. “Oh, um, hi, Tate.”

Saint appeared behind her in his room at Silver Ridge, worry lines forming across his face. “Is everything okay, Tate? Do you need?—”

“Everything’s fine.” Liar! “I just wanted to talk to you about something, but I can come back.”

Sadie shook her head and wiped at the remnants of tears staining her face even as she offered a sweet smile, one that didn’t reach her eyes.

“We’re done,” she said. “I was just leaving.”

I blocked her path into the hall. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

Of course, the worst-case scenario materialized in my mind. Did a loved one from Blackwater Falls go missing and become another one of Barric’s victims? And somehow, it was my fault because my stupid visions were usually too late to help.

She peered at Saint over her shoulder, whose gaze fell to the glossy hardwood floor. “No, nothing happened.”

The pain circling Sadie’s words tightened my chest, and I smelled the sadness pouring out of her as she slipped by and vanished down the hall. I entered Saint’s room, closed the door, and studied him.

His wintry forest scent crashed over me, and I couldn’t help but inhale deeply to breathe him in. Things would change between us after this.

Obviously, that was the point.

“What was that about?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s complicated.”

“Sadie’s in love with you, isn’t she?” They’d grown up together, and any idiot could tell she’d wanted so badly to be his mate, fated or not. And then I came along and shattered all her hopes and dreams.

I really knew how to ruin shit, didn’t I?

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Saint perched on the edge of his bed, creasing the hunter green covers. “What brings you here?”

The words stuck in my mouth, my tongue unable to move at all. Those silver eyes—always so warm—tried to penetrate my defenses as I shifted awkwardly on my feet and fidgeted, pulling at a loose thread on my cut-off t- shirt.

Noticing my hesitation, Saint arched a brow. “Just spit it out already, Tate. You can tell me anything.”

Everyone was so damn sure only my fated mate could heal me, could rid my body of this poison. And maybe that possibility existed at one point, but now—things were different.

We’d run out of time, and the twenty-fifth hour was fast approaching. If I wanted to save the shifters, I couldn’t rely on the possibility of healing.

“We have to reject each other.”

My words hit the air like deadly bombs, exploding one right after another. Saint flinched, and the color leached from his cheeks. As I waited for his response, I nearly chewed a hole in my lip.

“No, Tate.” Panic crept over his expression. “We can’t do that, especially not now. I need to heal you so you can?—”

“We’re out of time, Saint.”

I wouldn’t get rid of this sickness before I had to face Barric. That was the truth. So I had to move forward and find a way to defeat him in this weakened state.

Even if that meant sacrificing myself to the amulet.

Saint shot to his feet and closed the space between us, resting his hands on my shoulders. “We have to try. It might work if we, you know…”

“Mate? Have sex?”

The young alpha nodded. “It’s pretty clear it won’t break your bond with Fane, but it could still connect us.”

“But that’s the problem, Saint.” I rested my hands over his and tipped my head back to meet his gaze directly. “If I don’t survive facing Barric or if the Infernal Sol takes me over and you and I have this bond, it will affect you even more.”

His fingers flexed on my shoulders as his breathing sped up. “I’m willing to take that chance.”

“I’m not.”

He had no idea what the Infernal Sol’s power felt like, the darkness it spread through me and used to choke me. And how much I reveled in it.

His glittering silver orbs hardened to lethal blades, and he snatched his hands away, forcing mine to fall. “This is about Fane. It’s always about Fane.”

My head jerked back. “This has nothing to do with him. I’m trying to protect you.”

“Bullshit!” Saint marched across the room as if he couldn’t stand to be near me and hunched over the small square table in the corner by the window, the moonlight pouring through its panes.

An invisible fist struck my sternum at the hurt beneath his anger. “You don’t understand what will happen to me, Saint. I can’t let another person suffer because of me.”

“You were never going to give me a chance, were you?” His voice was so quiet I barely heard it.

“I’m already mated. You’ve known that from the beginning.” My fingers reached up of their own accord and brushed the tattoo on my neck.

Fane’s mark.

“This is why I was afraid to let you heal me,” I admitted. “No matter how close we became, it would eventually come to this.”

A burst of rage hit me before Saint snatched a glass off the table and hurled it at the wall. The tiny pieces fell toward the floor like sharp raindrops. His snarl erupted through the room and burned against my skin.

But it wasn’t his fury that made tears well up in my eyes. It was his heartbreak, his utter devastation .

When Saint met my stare across the room, the agony doubled. “I was a fool for thinking you’d choose me over him or even consider having us both.”

“You weren’t a fool,” I said. “You were just hoping I’d grow feelings for you. And I did.”

He shook his head as his wrath cooled. “Not enough.”

“More than enough, actually.” My hands flattened against my thighs as I moved toward him, every muscle so tight I’d be sore tomorrow. “That’s why I want to protect you from what might happen.”

“Then let me try to heal you. Please .”

The desperation in his words cut me to the bone, and a tear slipped free from my eye and raced down my cheek. “You’ve healed me as much as you can. Now I have to rely on my own strength to beat Barric.”

Every bitten shifter’s life was on the line. If I thought it would work, I’d mate with Saint and let our bond heal me.

Unfortunately, I knew now, without a doubt, it wouldn’t.

Saint ground his teeth and then reached for me, pulling me into a tight embrace. “We would have been really fucking great together.”

“I know.” My arms wrapped around him, and I buried my face in his chest, inhaling his scent for what might have been the last time. He wouldn’t want to see me after this.

Saint had such a warm, kind soul, and he would have soothed my edges and healed my deep, festering wounds and scars. His light would have pushed away my shadows and brightened all the impenetrable caverns inside me.

He was everything I needed.

But Fane was everything I wanted.

Hard and soft. Mean and kind. Terrifying and welcoming .

We were the same. And even though it would take us longer to make each other whole and smooth the scars, the wait was worth it.

Fane Maverick was more than just my soulmate. He was my darkness and my light.

Instead of standing within the confines of Saint’s room—where everyone in the house would feel the breaking of a fated mate bond—he took me outside to the mystical forest within Silver Ridge’s compound.

The moon shone on us as we stood in a clearing, the only two creatures for miles, as if everything else sensed the grim atmosphere and wanted to offer us privacy.

I tried to choke back the mound of sand blocking my throat. “What do I do?”

Tall pines and oaks circled us, and stars spotted the black sky overhead. The air wasn’t stifling or hot tonight, and a gentle breeze sent leaves skittering and branches swaying.

“You just say the words, Tate,” Saint whispered, his eyes glistening too much for me to handle.

Why did this moment feel like a funeral?

In a way, it was.

My bottom lip trembled. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be the mate you deserve.”

Saint gave a soft, heartbreaking smile. “You’re exactly who you’re supposed to be.”

And after this, he’d be gone forever, unable to look at me, let alone be around me.

I was losing him as a mate and a friend.

His head dipped forward, and his lips brushed over mine. When I didn’t turn away, Saint slipped his tongue into my mouth, caressing me with a gentleness I expected from him.

We’d never kissed, but I knew exactly how it would feel .

Saint tasted like sweet honey and a warm springtime sun. He was crisp and clean, like a waterfall tumbling into a crystal-clear pool in a vibrant green lagoon.

My heart crashed against my ribs, and I wavered on my feet. I floated off the ground, weightless and full of bliss. And no matter how far I’d float, Saint would be there to reel me in. He was safety and comfort.

He was the home I never had.

When he finally pulled away, we were both breathless, clutching each other like we’d fall off a cliff if we let go.

But we had to let go.

“I reject you, Tate.” His hoarse voice and those words shattered the warm bubble. “I break the bonds that tie us. I let you go.”

Unable to stop it, a sob slipped from my mouth. “I reject you, Saint. I break the bonds that that tie us. I let you go.”

Tremors raced through us as if we stood at the epicenter of an earthquake. My fingers gripped his shirt, and I could hardly catch my breath, my lungs squeezing into a tight ball.

“I reject the gift Fate has bestowed upon me. I sever this link, never to be reunited again.” Tears dripped down his cheeks, breaking my heart into tiny pieces.

My throat bobbed as I tried to make my voice work, taking several torturous seconds to finally speak. “I reject the gift fate has bestowed upon me. I sever this link, never to be reunited again.”

As soon as I uttered the last word, a crack ripped through us, and something tore out of my chest.

The broken howl Saint released had me sobbing again, and when my knees buckled, he caught me. I trembled against him, soaking his t-shirt and wishing I could take it all back .

Why did I have to ruin everything good I touched?

Jayla was my worst offense.

Saint was the second.

“It’s over, Tate,” he said, stroking my back. “It’s done.”

“I’m so sorry.” My fingers dug into his back as I held onto him. “Please forgive me.”

Saint’s hot breath spilled over my ear as he lowered his head, clutching me so tightly my ribs ached. But I didn’t dare pull away.

“There’s nothing to forgive,” he said.

We both knew that was a fucking lie. I broke his heart and crushed all his hope with just a few words. Saint grew up expecting to find his fated mate like his parents, wishing and hoping year after year and receiving nothing.

And then he found me.

He would have been better off not having a fated mate at all than having one who loved someone else.

Heat rushed over my spine and tingled across my neck. I clamped my eyelids shut, already knowing what—or, rather, who—loomed behind me. His red, fiery anger pumped through the bond, tasting like metal and ash.

“What. The. Fuck?”

Fane’s voice was barely more than a growl, and I pictured his canines growing to sharp, lethal points.

Still unwilling to release his tight hold, Saint lifted his head and peered at the demon shifter over my shoulder. “What’s done is done, Fane. It was her choice.”

The color had faded from Saint’s face, leaving him cold and pale, and no light shone in his eyes. Instead of silver, they’d become a deep gray, like a weathered blade that hadn’t been polished in decades.

An invisible fist clutched my heart.

What did I do?

The heat from Fane’s fury descended over my back as he closed the distance, his quick breaths blowing across the top of my head. “I didn’t think it was possible to be this fucking mad.”

I shivered from the sheer rage in every syllable he spoke, and I felt the energy it took for him to keep a firm grip on his control.

If he let go, he’d probably shift into his demon wolf and shred Saint apart.

Saint finally released me and jammed a shaky hand through his messy locks. “Don’t be mad at her. Blame this on me.”

I’d just stomped all over his heart and soul, and he still wanted to protect me.

But he didn’t have to protect me from Fane. I could handle him.

“Oh, believe me, I have enough anger for the both of you,” Fane said.

I finally peered behind me at him, his pupils in slits, his irises blazing, and his muscles so tight his clothes threatened to rip off. Shimmers of heat drifted from his form before he could finally cool them.

Just barely.

“I need a minute before you unleash your wrath, Fane.” Saint staggered back, and this time when I reached for him, he shook his head. “Please don’t.”

His words were dull daggers to my chest, but I deserved them.

The demon shifter’s jaw ticked, and his nostrils flared, but some of that relentless rage cracked, and he gave Saint a sharp nod .

“Just run,” Fane said, his voice still a swirl of fire and darkness. “Hard and fast until you can’t feel anything but the ground and the wind at your back.”

Fane knew how it felt to be rejected. He knew every bit of pain coursing through the young alpha.

I bit my lip to restrain a sob. It would only make things worse if Saint knew how much I wanted to take it back.

“It’ll hurt for a long time.” Fane moved to my side, his attention still on Saint. “But it will fade. Eventually. If you let it.”

Saint refused to look at me as he spun and vanished through the trees, the shadows swallowing him whole. As Fane and I stood in silence for a few moments, as if he was waiting for it, a soul-crushing howl erupted through the forest.

My mate finally spun me toward him, his nostrils flaring and teeth gritting. “How could you do this? How could throw away a chance to rid yourself of this poison?”

“It’s not in my nature to use people, Fane,” I snapped, pushing past the anguish tearing me apart. “Enough people have been hurt or worse because of me, and I couldn’t do it to Saint.”

A roar burst out of him, shaking the trees. “When are you going to stop shouldering the blame for everything fucking bad thing that happens?”

“When I’ve paid enough!”

Atoning for all the bad I’d caused was just a ruse, a form of punishing myself. And Fane saw past my lies and half-truths.

He knew I’d do everything in my power to save the shifters, but I would rather die than hurt more people.

His phone buzzed, and he snatched it out of his pocket, a string of curses bursting from his mouth. “You’ve got to be kidding me. ”

“What?”

He tilted the phone to show me a video of Roxie strolling through the lab beneath Wrath’s house—where Ruin was imprisoned.

My pulse spiked as my every muscle tensed. “Is she there to break him out or to kill him?”