Page 82 of Sapphires and Snakes

My confession hangs between us, waiting for Zarina’s reaction. Right now, it’s neither an exploding bomb nor a calming salve. It just is. And the ambiguity is killing me, though I refuse to raise my eyes to meet hers for fear of what I’ll find there.

I don’t expect a return in sentiment. More than anything, I expect her to sneer at me, to snap that there’s no way she can forgive all I’ve done. On my worst days, I replay her words in my head, and I believe them.You’re just the same—no, you’re worse. Worse than the men who sold her, trapped her, used her. Worse than the system that invalidates and erases us. Worse than all of it.

She wasn’t wrong, but she wasn’t right, either. And I hope to god she lets me prove it.

“What is the favor that you’re asking of me?” Zarina’s voice is hesitant, like my answer to this question matters more than I realize.

I frown, raising my eyes to hers. “Your presence here tonight.” She didn’t even owe me anything, deal or no deal. “I demand nothing else from you.”

“You could have asked for anything,” she murmurs.

I shake my head. “I don’t want anything else.”

“Because you love me.” The words fall slowly, carefully.

“Yes.”

“You love me.”

“Yes.” I’ll say it over and over, as many times as she’ll allow me. As many times as she requires of me. “To be clear, I don’t expect you to return the feeling.”

“And if I don’t?” she asks.

“My next question remains the same.”

“You have another question?” Her hands are still clasped tight together, her voice still soft and uncertain. I nod in answer, and she takes a bracing breath. “Go ahead, then.”

I suck in my own bracing breath, and my echo of her action releases a flood of fondness into my chest. Which helps me say my next words. “Would you do me the honor of dating me? Let me prove my feelings, right my mistakes, treat you the way you deserve.”

“You want to demote me from fiancée to girlfriend?” she pouts.

The fondness bubbles to overflowing, and I can’t help the eye-crinkling smile that spreads across my face. Zarina fights one of her own, the tension crumbling at the edges with her cheeky reply. She’s always so good at that.

I hold her eyes. “Either way, you’ll be my queen.”

“Smooth,” she teases.

But she doesn’t answer yes or no. We breathe in the seconds, Zarina’s face falling back into a frown as her eyes focus past me. Her brain is working overtime, and I wish I could see what’s going on. I want to ask, press for an answer. But I know it will only hinder.

Her gaze finds mine again. “You said you didn’t know how I could ever forgive you?”

I nod, noting this isn’t an answer, but willing to ride her train of thought.

“I think…” She swallows. “It sounds crazy, but I think I’m halfway there already. The way you’ve shown up for me, for my family, without expectation of recompense these last weeks. That you stormed into my house to save me?—”

“Should’ve known you’d have it covered,” I mutter.

Her red lips stretch into a wry grin. “And that, too. That you don’t discount me, my ability, my instincts.” She finally releases her hands, half-moon marks dug into the skin like she was holding them too tight. “And the pain of it all. It wouldn’t have hurt so much, the betrayal, if I didn’t care.”

“I’m so sorry?—”

But she holds up a hand to stop me, and I snap my mouth shut. “It took almost losing everything for me to set aside my own ego and sign over those properties to you,” she says. “Will you be able to do the same? To forsake your pride to protect me, to love me?”

I chance a step forward. The gap between us is the smallest it’s been since she walked out of this house over a month ago. I try to wrangle in the hope unfurling inside me, but it’s slippery in my hands. “I’d like the chance to show you I will.”

Zarina mirrors my step forward, and then there’s no longer feet between us, but inches. Something inside me untangles from the knot it was twisted into, and the release shudders through my body. She raises her hand, and despite how slowly it comes to rest on my shoulder, it’s steady and sure.

Zarina sighs, like us finally touching has loosened something in her, too. “I think I’d like to give you that chance.”