Page 73 of Santa of the Creek

I peer at her over the rim of my cup. “Why are you here?”

“I thought you’d like to see the tree.”

“That’s bullshit,” I say bluntly. “Try again.”

She huffs and drinks more coffee. “You’re so mean to me.”

“What part of I know you are you missing?”

Gloria leans forward and smirks at me. “I’m on a mission.”

That sounds more like her.

“What kind of mission?”

“I can’t tell you. It’s secret.”

I give her a skeptical look. “You come here to drink my coffee and tell me you’re on a secret mission.”

“The coffee’s just a bonus, but the rest sounds about right.”

“Gloria, much as I love you, could you go away now? Dean is on his way over and I have plans that don’t need a witness.”

“Ew! My virgin ears don’t need to hear that.”

I open my mouth and shut it again. I’m not going there. There are some things about my girlfriends I don’t need to know. I use girlfriend in the loosest sense. She’s more like a backseat wife…for the whole town.

“Anyway,” she continues, clearly ignoring me, “he’s not coming.”

I stare at her. “Wh…what?”

I check my phone. Nothing from Dean, or from anyone else for that matter. Was he dumping me via Gloria? I never thought he was the type of guy to be that mean. I thought…I thought…I have no idea what I thought except it was him and me together.

She flaps her hand. “Don’t look so worried, big guy. He still loves you. He was strongarmed into helping Geraldine. Something to do with Barky. He’ll be over later today. Eat your sandwich.”

“He told you that,” I say dubiously, opening the CC’s box. My belly rumbles at my favorite sandwich.

“He told me to tell you that. And gave me the box. Something about lunch and you being hangry if he doesn’t feed you?”

Every time Gloria opens her mouth what comes out is worse and better than before.

“Okay, thanks for telling me.” I take a large bite. I really am hungry.

She pats my hamster cheek. “He still loves you,” she repeats.

“Am I really that obvious?”

Another eye roll. I guess that’s a yes. It’s disappointing, but I guess I can go back to bed and catch up on my sleep.

I wait but she doesn’t move. “Uh…Gloria? If there’s nothing else…”

“We could spend the afternoon together,” she suggests brightly. “Go on, shower and get your party gear on.”

“You’re taking me to a party now?”

“I’m working later,” she points out, like I’m talking out the top of my head. “You know what the Creek is like. There’s always a party somewhere.”

“There is? Why have I missed all the parties?”