Page 26 of Sam & Justin (Gomillion High Reunion #4)

Reunion - Saturday Night

I had a confession to make.

I hated public speaking.

I was good at it. I always had been. I could get up in front of a room and deliver speeches like nobody’s business, but I hated every moment of it.

I got nervous. My hands shook. I felt like I was going to throw up or make a complete idiot of myself.

My palms always got so sweaty that I was afraid there’d be wet marks on whatever paper I was holding.

It didn’t matter what I did to alleviate the nerves either.

I always wrote the speech. I practiced it in front of the mirror.

I practiced it with Sophia and some of my friends.

There had been more than one instance, including the speech I had to give tonight, where I’d forced Rachel to listen to the stories and memories I’d penned down.

And I had. I’d written a heartfelt speech full of memories, one I thought was fitting for a twenty-year class reunion.

Now that I was waiting for my turn, reading over the words I’d written down, they didn’t feel like enough.

They didn’t capture everything I was feeling in this moment.

My eyes landed on Sam. He was still at the table where I left him, but my empty seat had been taken by Gabe.

The two of them were engaged in some kind of conversation, and while I worried about what Gabe could possibly be saying to him, I was also grateful that Gabe had taken it upon himself to pull Sam into conversation.

Then Sam looked up. His eyes caught mine, and my nerves calmed ever so slightly.

Maybe I could do this if I kept my focus on Sam.

Then the first speaker took the podium, and my guts twisted as my nerves ramped back up.

I couldn’t do this. I was going to embarrass myself.

I couldn’t deliver this speech in front of Sam.

My heart began to pound, and I could barely decipher any of the words that were being said.

This was worse than my usual case of stage fright.

It was more extreme than the usual sinking of my stomach and shaking, sweating hands. I felt like I was going to pass out.

Vanessa reached over and squeezed my arm. “You okay?” she mouthed. I shook my head. “You got this,” she mouthed back, giving my arm another reassuring squeeze.

I drew in a deep breath and tried to believe her.

The second speaker stepped up to the podium, and I was able to focus more on what he was saying.

He talked about some of his memories from high school and how the lessons he’d learned at Gomillion had translated into his life as an adult.

His speech was meaningful. How was I supposed to follow that up?

The nerves returned full force, and I made myself take a deep breath. I needed to hold it together.

Vanessa let go of my arm as the second speaker stepped away from the podium. She stepped up to introduce me.

“Now let’s hear from your student class president and the man who organized this reunion: Justin Kirkwood.”

There was a round of applause, and then it was time.

Nerves didn’t matter anymore. I was still nervous as I went up to the podium.

I wiped my sweaty palms off on my black slacks and drew in a deep breath.

My hands were shaking as I pulled my speech out of my pocket and unfolded it.

My eyes skimmed over the neatly penned words on the page.

I could do this. I wasn’t a scared seventeen-year-old, delivering my election speech to my classmates.

I was a thirty-eight-year-old man. I had given more speeches than I could remember, some to the same people that were sitting in the audience now.

I could do this. I could do this.

I suddenly wasn’t sure that I could do this.

Then my eyes landed on Sam. He was watching me intently from our table, and it felt like someone put a weighted blanket over my shoulders. He offered me a small smile, and my hands stopped shaking.

“Can you believe it’s been twenty years since the last time we were all here?

” I started. My voice was steady, and now that I’d started, the calm began to spread.

It always did. “A lot has happened in those twenty years. Marriages, kids, divorces, new jobs, and a thousand little life moments, but it all brought us back here. Some of us have changed a lot.” My eyes landed on Sam, and I was again overwhelmed by the difference between the adult staring back at me and the angry boy he’d been when we were younger.

“Some of us… well, it’s been less so.” Me.

I was the less so. Even with the things in my life that had changed, I felt like I was still the same scrawny nerd that I’d been in high school.

“What hasn’t changed is the bond between all of us, the memories we formed right here in this very school. I remember being up here at the start of senior year, talking about all the things I wanted to get done for our school. Somehow, you all believed in me and voted for me.”

“That’s because you ran unopposed,” Gabe called out from our table, pulling an appreciative chuckle from our classmates.

I joined their laughter and continued. “Talk about people who haven’t changed,” I teased.

“It’s been twenty years, and this guy is still giving me a hard time.

” Gabe’s laughter could be heard over everyone else’s, and my cheeks started to hurt from smiling.

I put down my paper. This was a politician’s speech, or a future politician’s speech maybe.

It didn’t feel as genuine as that little interaction with one of my oldest and best friends.

“Every day that I’ve been back at this school, working with Vanessa—Mrs. Smythe—I’ve been overwhelmed by memories.

Every corner of this school holds another one.

I can still find my old locker, and when I walk by, I remember listening to Gabe obsess over Amber. ”

Gabe flipped me the bird from the crowd, and his ex-girlfriend, a red head named Amber, turned almost as red as her hair two tables over.

“When I was in the gym watching our alumni play the current team, I remembered all the basketball games I went to. I mean, maybe I wasn’t going to the after parties that some people were going to, but they were still good times.

” I met Sam’s eyes, and he shook his head, smiling.

“And then there’s the library. I think I spent more hours there than I did anywhere else.

Sometimes, I was just reading books about anything and everything and apparently retaining enough information to make me a beast when I play Jeopardy on my couch or join some of my old friends for trivia nights at the bar.

But those weren’t my favorite memories in the library.

Those were the hours I spent tutoring after school. ”

My eyes found Sam’s as I continued. “There was one person I tutored that sticks out in every memory. He was determined to graduate with us, even though he hadn’t started with our class.

I remember the look on his face when he’d finally understand something.

I didn’t know it back then, but the way it made my stomach twist and flutter wasn’t just pride.

In hindsight, I had a major thing for that guy, but you all know how it goes, right?

Sometimes, you don’t see something clearly until you’re looking back.

He made me smile more than anyone else did back then.

That attitude of his was so different than anyone else around me. I was intrigued.”

Great. This was turning into something… I didn’t even know what the hell it was, honestly. It felt almost like a love confession, except that I wasn’t in love with him. Just deeply, deeply in like. My ears were burning again, and I knew the rest of my face had to be tomato red.

“He’s one of the people that have changed a lot since high school, but he still has that killer smile. He’s still smart too.”

It was time to move on to other memories.

“Then there was our senior prom, which clearly was the inspiration for tonight.” It had the same 1980s theme.

“There were so many memories of our prom. Everyone dancing together, all the laughter. I like to think the planning committee has done it better this time. Bigger decorating budgets and amazing caterers, thanks to the current Gomillion culinary arts students.” I kept talking for another minute or two, sharing a few of my favorite memories from prom and graduation and ended with a hearty “Go Millions!” before I left the stage to the sound of applause.

I stood back off to the side with the other speakers, but I barely took in a word of what anyone else was saying.

I’d made it through the speech, and I wanted to get back to Justin.

I could feel his eyes on me, and I wanted to know what he thought about my speech.

I wanted to make sure I hadn’t made anything weird or awkward for him, highlighting him the way that I had.

Maybe I’d been too intense, but it was how I’d been feeling in the moment.

How I was still feeling.

Because damn, I liked him.

Finally, speeches were over. Vanessa stepped back up to the podium and began giving out awards and superlatives to members of our graduating class.

My organizational talents were called out for one of the awards.

Gabe got something for his outgoing nature.

A few of my other friends were given certificates.

To no one’s surprise, Sam didn’t get called out for anything.

After what seemed like an eternity, Vanessa opened up the floor for dancing. I started back toward the table, but Sam waylaid me halfway. “Do you want to dance?”