Page 13 of Saint Of Envy (Tangled Hearts, Sinful Hands #2)

VALENTINA

I n the morning, Luc offers me the chance to visit Isla at the private dance theatre that Vincent created for her in the hotel.

There’s even a new camera waiting for me on the counter of the hotel suite when I leave my bedroom to make some breakfast. He says that it’s because he and Vincent still need to work out the arrangements of how I will travel to whatever secret location it is they are sending me to.

The gift of a camera and the opportunity to spend a few hours watching my friend dance makes it seem more like he’s trying to make up for my unhappiness with a token gesture to serve as an apology on his behalf.

I don’t like it when things feel “off” between us.

Being upset with Luc doesn’t feel right.

But I don’t know how to stop being upset about the fact that he’s sending me away, especially when he won’t even tell me where I’m going.

He knows how much it upsets me to feel like other people are pulling the strings of my life. I hate feeling powerless.

“Look at it this way,” Luc says, mustering up a smile as he walks me down to Isla’s dance studio. “At least you’ll be able to get out of the hotel suite now for a little while.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” I sigh as I mumble under my breath. “Trading one prison for another again, and this time I get to go back to being all alone in my cage.”

I can tell that Luc heard me even though I mumbled it, because there’s a pained look on his face, as if that comparison stung him.

I’m not trying to hurt him at all. I’m just frustrated about being sent away, as if he doesn’t want me here anymore.

Although I know he’s trying to keep me safe, I still don’t understand why I can’t stay with him and be safe.

Isla’s bright smile greets us as soon as we walk inside the theater.

“You two enjoy your morning together,” Luc says before he leaves. He glances at me as I sit down on the edge of the stage and set my camera on the dance floor beside me. “I’ll be back this afternoon to collect you.”

Collect me—I huff and roll my eyes because it makes it sound like I’m a “thing” to be collected instead of a living, breathing person with agency.

It isn’t at all how I felt before when it seemed as if Luciano and I were equal partners.

Now, it feels like I’m alone again, and this time it feels even worse because I don’t want to be apart from Luc.

It was different with Leonardo—I was glad when he wasn’t around, even if it meant that I was alone.

But now, every time I think about being away from where Luc is, it feels like a shot of piercing cold straight to my chest. I don’t even say anything before he leaves.

I just pretend I’m adjusting my camera lens until he’s gone.

“That’s quite the cold shoulder you’re giving him,” Isla says gently as she walks toward me, preparing to sit and talk for a while. But I’m not ready to talk, not yet.

“Can I take some photos of you dancing?” I ask to steer away from starting a deep conversation until I’ve had a moment to collect my thoughts.

“Sure,” she smiles, immediately picking up on my cue and giving me some space and time. “I have a new routine to practice. I’d actually like some photos of it to add to my dance portfolio.”

“Well, I’m not a professional photographer, but I’ll do my best,” I chuckle as I look through the lens at her.

“I’m sure they’ll be wonderful. Besides, maybe you should pursue your photography professionally instead of just dabbling in it as a hobby. You love it, and it would probably be a brilliant career to balance motherhood with.”

I look at her with wide eyes. I've been meaning to tell Isla about my pregnancy, but there just hasn’t been the chance to do it in person yet.

“Sorry,” she smiles. “Vincent told me. I think Luc mentioned it to him, and, well, you know how word travels.”

“I’m not upset,” I say. “I was getting ready to tell you, and now I’m glad that you know so that I can talk to you about something. I still don’t know how Leonardo found out. It’s rather unsettling.”

“Yeah, agreed. That part is a mystery. But one thing I’ve learned about being in a mafia family is that everything has eyes and ears. Nothing stays a secret for long in this world.”

As Isla dances, I’m almost instantly mesmerized.

She is such a graceful dancer. Each of her motions is like poetry in movement form.

She makes it easy to take excellent pictures because each dance move is akin to a perfect pose for the camera.

For a while, I sit and watch in awe, snapping photos and thinking about how happy Isla looks as she dances across the stage in her own personal theatre.

When she’s finished dancing and goes to take a quick water break, I think about how she, too, went through a similar experience as I am in some ways.

“Are you ready to talk now?” she asks as she comes to sit down beside me.

I nod and put my camera away.

“You know, you were very brave back in Italy on your wedding day,” she says, meaning it as a compliment, but one that I cringe in response to because I don’t like to think of that day as my wedding day.

“It took a lot of guts to run from Leonardo Conti, and that arranged marriage with a church full of mafia powerhouses waiting for you to walk down that aisle. Especially since you didn’t know that Luciano would be there outside to help you escape. ”

“I didn’t feel brave as much as I just felt desperate,” I admit. “I mean, sure, there was a rush of adrenaline, but mostly I was just running in fear of what would happen to my life if I stayed and went through with it.”

“Sometimes, running in fear is the bravest thing someone can do,” she smiles wisely at me.

We sit beside each other in silence for a moment or two, as Isla patiently waits for me to open up to her, and after a few more minutes, I do.

“It’s just so upsetting that he would want to send me away,” I say, fighting back tears as the floodgates open and I blurt out the feelings that I’ve been angrily keeping inside.

“I thought that Luc and I were a team. I thought we were equals and partners now. But he won’t even tell me where I’m being sent.

. Maybe I’ve been wrong about all of this.

Perhaps all the men involved in the mafia families are all the same—selfish, controlling, and cruel. ”

“I know you don’t mean that about Luc,” she says as she takes my hand and gives it a small squeeze.

She’s right—I don’t. But I’m upset and I’m having trouble holding in my feelings, especially with the addition of raging pregnancy hormones on top of everything else.

“You know Luc is sending you and the baby somewhere safe so that he can protect you. He wouldn’t do that if he didn’t love and care about you deeply,” she says softly.

“It has to be a secret so that no one can know or find out where you are. Just like you were saying about how unsettling it was that Leonardo could find out that you are pregnant. The walls in these buildings have ears, and there are spies around every corner. Luc isn’t sending you away because he wants you gone from his life, or because he wants to control you, or close you up in some trap like Leonardo Conti did.

He’s doing it because that is what strong, powerful, good men do—they do what is necessary to keep the women they love safe, even if it means keeping them safe from being around themselves. ”

She speaks as if she knows exactly what I’m going through. Sometimes I forget that her relationship with Vincent didn’t start out all “champagne and roses” either.

“You know, when I was first married to Vincent, I didn’t want to be—at least I didn’t think that I wanted to be,” she says.

“But then, it evolved until the thought of being without him pained me the most. There were times I most definitely felt just like you do now, times when I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t listen to me or let me stay by his side when I felt like I could help.

Back then, my hurt and frustration made me question whether he truly loved and respected me enough to value my autonomy and decision-making ability.

But looking back, I know now that he has always had my best interests at heart.

He only ever wanted to keep me safe and to ensure that we could have the future together that we now share. ”

“I hope that is how Luc feels, too,” I sigh. My anger is giving way to a sort of calm acceptance now after talking with Isla.

“He does. Just think of how he essentially started a war for you.”

I hadn’t really thought of it that way, but now that she mentions it, I can see that she’s right.

Luc not only rescued me from Leonardo’s men back in Italy, erupting what he knew would be a catalyst for a rival mafia Don to pursue vengeance against having his bride taken from him.

But he also temporarily “stole” Vincent’s plane and brought me back to Vegas to hide inside of his Don’s hotel suite without so much as thinking about the consequences that he might face for all that he’s done.

Now, the Conti family and the Barones are essentially launching a full-scale war on the Moretti’s business operations and crew, and it’s literally all because Luc saved me and brought me here to be with him.

He’s gone through so much trouble for me, and deep down, I know that he only has my best interests in mind.

We talk a bit more, and I already feel better, although I’m still not fond of the idea of being away from Luc for long. But by the time he returns to get me, I’m less upset with him than I was before.

I smile at him, and he seems relieved that I’m no longer giving him the cold shoulder.

“I’ve made an appointment for the doctor to see you,” he says carefully, trying not to sound too pushy. “I just don’t want to risk anything before you and the baby are out for travel. If that’s okay with you.”

I glance over at Isla, and she gives me a little reassuring nod and smile, showing that she’s right about everything we just talked about. Luc is doing all of this, not because he wants to shove me off somewhere, but because he wants to protect me and our unborn child.

“Yes, thank you,” I say as I reach for his hand. “That’s a good idea. Will you come with me to the appointment? If you want to, that is.”

Luc’s face lights up. “Of course! I was planning on accompanying you anyway, for security, since there’s no telling where Leonardo or Angelo’s men are lurking around.”

“I’d like it if you came inside to talk with the doctor with me, too. I want you to be as involved with the pregnancy as you’d like to be.”

“I’d like that,” he says as he wraps an arm around me.

“Alright, you two lovebirds better get going then,” Isla says, getting ready to go back to rehearsing her new dance routine. “Keep me posted on things.”

I give her a hug, and then Luc accompanies me to the car so that we can head straight to the doctor’s office. I hadn’t quite expected the appointment to be right now, but I guess there’s a reason that things are moving so quickly, in order to stay one step ahead of Leonardo.

I try not to think about the waning time that Luc and I have together or worry about when and where I’m being sent off.

Instead, I try to focus on the fact that he and I are going together to our very first doctor’s appointment to check on the status of my pregnancy and the health of me and our baby. I’m excited and also a little nervous.

“You know, even when you’re not right beside me,” he says as we pull up to the doctor’s office.

“I’m going to make sure that you have everything you need during your pregnancy.

You and the baby will be safe and healthy.

Want for nothing. And then, as soon as it’s safe for you to return to my side, I will come and get you. I promise.”

“How long do you think it will be before this is all over?” I ask, not wanting to hear an answer that will take too long.

Before Luc can answer me, a call rings through his phone. It’s Vincent, and that means he can’t ignore it.

“Hello,” Luc says into the car’s speakers.

“I need you to come meet with me now,” Vincent says in a calm yet serious tone. “It’s a matter of importance.”

“I’m just about to accompany Valentina to her doctor’s appointment.”

“Luciano, I’m afraid I need to insist on your coming to meet with me now. There is some urgent business that we need to attend to, which can’t wait,” Vincent presses. “I’ll send a bodyguard to accompany Valentina to her appointment.”

When Luc hangs up the call, he is visibly disappointed, and in truth, so am I.

But I put on my best brave face about it and reassure him I will be fine with the bodyguard that his cousin is sending.

Besides, there will be plenty more appointments throughout my pregnancy that we can go to together.

All that matters now is getting through the current situation at hand so that we can start our life together unencumbered by all the rest of the mafia families’ drama.