Page 72 of Ruined

Why was I considering that as a possibility that had ever existed? I knew better than that. He was right; our relationship was built on monetary exchange. Like he had said: it was a decision to work. Nothing more. We didn’t have a true foundation beyond my position as a server.

I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. That if it weren’t for the money, ‘we’ wouldn’t exist.

But it wasn’t that simple. It was more complicated than that.

“Those things you said about stupidity and love?” he said, breaking the silence. “Don’t let yourself make a stupid decision, Haley. I’m not worth it. You can’t trust me.”

It hurt to hear him say that. He stood up.

“I reserved the room for the rest of the evening on your schedule,” he said in a low voice. He reached for the door. “You can stay back here if you want.”

My heart sank. He was leaving me there.

“Wait,” I said. He stopped, his hand resting on the handle. I could barely meet his eyes, but I made myself do it. “Why are you doing this?” I whispered.

He stared at me for a moment, but then looked away. “You’ll understand soon enough.”

***

I stayed in that room longer than I care to admit. The whole interaction had stunned me, making me question every interaction I had had with him. I kept coming back to those words:I’m going to break you, Haley. I’m going to ruin you.Had he meant that once he had taken my virginity, I was ruined, and therefore, he no longer wanted me?

Eventually, I emerged. Lucas was nowhere to be found. But I couldn’t let Lucas affect me like that. I needed to keep my eye on the light at the end of the tunnel; I needed to finish paying my debt and keep my sister safe. After that, I could spend time figuring out Lucas’s problems.

I slept-walked through the rest of the shift. I didn’t even undress when I clocked out. When I woke up, my pillow was stained with black tears.

***

The next day, the Dahlia District was glum. The servers, the staff, the bartenders, even the members, were feeling melancholy. It was hard to pretend like everything was fine.

Mel and Aldrich were at the bar. I tried to walk past them, but I couldn’t help but overhear a bit of their conversation.

“Not a damn hour. I told you the deal,” Aldrich muttered. “I’ll get the license soon.”

License? What had I walked in on?

“Haley,” Mel called in a slightly panicked tone. She waved me over.

I could do this; I could pretend like everything was fine. Aldrich didn’t hate me. Lucas wasn’t avoiding me. And besides, Mel was my friend, right?

“How was your birthday?” I said to Aldrich, trying to keep my tone chipper.

“Tell Mel that I can’t pay for her time here anymore,” he sneered, turning his back to her. “Maybe she’ll listen to you.”

“Why can’t you pay for an hour?”

He closed his eyes. “I’m on a budget.”

“When have youeverbeen on a budget?” I asked.

“Lucas didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

A smirk curled his lips, and my gut sank. What was Lucas hiding from me?

“I made a bet with Lucas,” he said. “If he won, he’d take my company. And if I won, I’d take his company.” He leaned on the bar. “That sonofabitch won.”

I couldn’t make my mouth move to ask the question. I could only hear Lucas’s words in my head:You’re not as good as you think.