Page 219 of Ruin Me With Lies

“Love is like quicksilver in the hand.

Leave the fingers open and it stays.

Clutch it, and it darts away.”

- Dorothy Parker

Fuck you, Stefano Castello.

Fuck you.

CHAPTER FIFTY

Stefano

FOURTEEN MONTHS LATER

“HOW LONG AREYOUgonna sit there staring at the board before you accept that you’re done?Kaput.I’ve got you.”

Deeply focused on the chess board between us, Pavlov mutters, “Hush.”

Beating back a chuckle, I take a sip of java.In an unexpected twist, Pavlov and I have become chess buddies.

About a month after I got back from Switzerland and was drowning in misery and regret, he showed up at my house demanding a game.I told him to fuck off.Hurled threats and insults.But he didn’t budge.Refused to leave until we played.

So I gave in.Beat his ass.Told him not to show up here again until our deal was done.But it didn’t matter.He kept dropping in at random times, always demanding a rematch.It’s been nearly eighteen months and he hasn’t beaten me once, but keeps showing up to get his ass handed to him.

I get it, though.I was the same with Vale.Couldn’t beat him to save my life, but I was addicted to trying.Only losers quit because they fail.

Somewhere along the way, Pavlov and I developed an odd kind of relationship.Not quite friends, not enemies either.We talk about things with our walls up, ever guarded.

But we never, ever talk abouther.

JB checks in on me no more or less than usual.Our dynamic hasn’t changed.I antagonize, she threatens.Business as usual.

Except for that one time, over a year ago, when she video-called me with her daughter,Mirabella.I held it together when she told me she was Mamma’s namesake, and why.But hours later, in the dead of the night, I broke under the shower, where no one could witness it.

The murderous rage I had toward her…it’s lost its edge since then.Almost disappointing, honestly.Because I had some truly inspired scenarios for how I’d kill her if we ever ended up in the same room again.

Coming back to Vegas, I was brimmed with rage.Boiling.Rage I’d been choking down the entire time at ThreeFours, for Soraya’s sake.After hearing what she went through, what she survived, the fury didn’t just simmer inside me, it churned, wild and unforgiving.

I promised myself that if I ever got close to Jhay Byrd again, I’d kill her with my bare hands, even if it meant going down with her.Every shred of respect I had for that woman was gone.Obliterated.

But no matter how much I burned, I knew what Soraya needed from me wasn’t fire, it was peace.Calm.Something steady to hold on to.

When I made that deal with JB, I had no intention of keeping it.I said whatever I had to just to get to Soraya.But after hearing her story, everything shifted.I realized if I wanted to be there for her the way she deserved, to protect and shield her, I had to getin.Deeper inside their world.And to do that, I needed patience.Strategy.Play the long game.Honor the deal.Earn their trust.

As hard as it was, I bridled the rage and zeroed in on what mattered most then—my woman.Loving her right, making her smile, giving her a glimpse of what I intend to do for the rest of my life.Commit myself toherhappiness.Wrap her in so much love and laughter until the past stops weighing her down.So that with me, she only knows one thing…

Love.

Real, unconditional love, so damn loud it drowns out every shit memory.

Am I conflicted about JB now?Yeah.But not enough to derail the plan.

“Damn, I miss Vale,” I mutter, taking a sip of coffee.“Would bring the fucker back to life just to get a decent game of chess.”

“Or you could just go join him in hell,” Pavlov fires back.