Page 10

Chapter ten

Sawyer

A sea of faces, many curious and some apprehensive, greeted Clayton. Each time Clayton introduced Sawyer to them, a wave of uncertainty washed over him. He moved back and forth between experiencing the awkwardness of being new and the delight of meeting other gay men during each interaction.

Just when peak anxiety hit him, Rowan and another young man came up to him.

Rowan embraced Sawyer tightly, whispering, “So glad I found you.”

“Me too.” Relief washed over Sawyer when Rowan greeted him, a familiar face, someone he liked.

“This is Malik.” Rowan waved his arm towards the other man.

Malik was striking, with warm brown skin and a cascade of tight, medium brown curls that framed his face. His almond-shaped eyes were a deep hazel mirroring the color of his T-shirt.

With a smile, Malik pulled Sawyer into a comforting hug. He was shorter than he and Rowan were. “Nice to meet you. Rowan has been telling me a lot about you. Hope you decide to stay around and hang out with us.”

“Do you want to help us in the dining room? We’re making dessert tonight,” Rowan asked.

Clayton overheard them talking, “You can go help. I’ll be here with Mark getting things set up for the campfire.”

“Okay.” As Sawyer turned, Clayton grabbed his arm, pulling him back. “You forgot something.” He leaned in close, the scent of his cologne filling the air, and kissed him softly. “Call me if you need me.”

A wave of heat rushed up Sawyer’s neck, turning his face a fiery red. His ears burned. He could get used to all the attention from Clayton. Sawyer felt the echo of Clayton’s kiss on his lips as he walked the trails of camp for the first time. His heart was a tangle of emotions—excitement, disbelief, and a quiet nervousness. It was strange how a kiss could do that. He replayed the moment in his mind, the way Clayton’s touch had been gentle but firm, an unspoken promise of connection that lingered now as he ventured into something wholly new. Did that kiss change him somehow? He wasn’t sure, but he hoped it had.

Rowan and Malik were great company from the start. Rowan’s never-ending grin and sharp sense of humor made Sawyer feel a little less nervous about stepping into this new world, while Malik’s calm presence balanced out Rowan’s energy. Their laughter mixed with the sounds of the forest as they hiked, making the trek to the mess hall feel lighter.

When they arrived, the place was buzzing with activity. Long tables freshly wiped down and ready for the night gleamed under twinkling fairy lights. An enormous banner stretched across one wall, proudly declaring “Lodi Pride Camp Welcomes You!” in bold rainbow letters, with colorful streamers draping down its sides. On the far side of the room, trays overflowed with frosting, sprinkles, and edible glitter, ready for a cupcake decorating free-for-all. Even the plates stacked neatly at each table—red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple—looked like they belonged in a Pride parade.

The boys wasted no time diving in. Rowan grabbed a tube of neon orange frosting and squeezed it onto a cupcake in a wild, messy swirl that made Malik laugh. Sawyer hesitated at first, but as he layered on purple frosting and silver sprinkles, he realized there were no rules here. No expectations. Just fun. And as he looked down at his cupcake masterpiece, a small but undeniable smile crept onto his face.

Rowan nudged him with an elbow. “Looks like we’ve got a frosting Picasso over here.”

“More like Picasso’s clueless cousin,” Sawyer quipped, surprising himself with the ease of his joke. Rowan and Malik laughed, and just like that, Sawyer’s tension dissolved.

As they set the tables with multicolored plates and placed their cupcake masterpieces on display, Sawyer felt something shift. The kiss from Clayton wasn’t an anchor anymore, but a marker—a reminder of their connection he carried with him, even into unfamiliar waters. The bright colors, the laughter of his companions, and the warmth of the mess hall enveloped him. Slowly, but surely, the unfamiliar landscape was feeling like a haven, the sounds and scents becoming comforting.

After finishing the cupcakes, the three of them headed outside and made their way toward the lake. The air was warm and carried the fresh scent of pine and sunbaked earth. Their hiking boots crunched softly against the stones of the pebbled path. Tall oaks lined the way, their green leaves rustling in the light summer breeze. Patches of golden sunlight filtered through the branches, creating shifting patterns on the ground. Somewhere in the distance, a bird called, its song blending with the low hum of their conversation, reminding him of being back on the farm.

Rowan led the way, his energy keeping his pace quick, while Malik strolled along at a steady rhythm. Sawyer hung back a little, taking in the scenery and letting his mind wander—mostly back to Clayton’s kiss and the mix of emotions it had left him with.

When they reached the lake, the trees opened up to reveal the still water stretching out before them, shimmering like glass under the afternoon sun. They found a shady spot beneath a cluster of trees near the shore and leaned against the sturdy trunks. The cool bark pressed against their backs as they settled in, the world around them calm and quiet, softened by the thick forest and the gentle sound of water lapping at the shore.

Rowan was the first to break the silence, nudging Sawyer playfully with his shoulder. “So, Sawyer, spill. Clayton. What’s going on there? I mean, we saw how he looked at you when you left.”

Sawyer felt his face flush again, heat blooming across his cheeks. He pulled at the hem of his camp T-shirt, fidgeting. “I don’t know. I mean…I think it’s something? Maybe?” His voice held the excitement he still couldn’t quite process.

Malik tilted his head, offering a reassuring smile. “You’re new at this, yeah? It’s okay not to have everything figured out right away.”

“But, like, the kiss?” Rowan added with a grin that bordered on teasing. “You’re not going to pretend that didn’t happen, are you?”

Sawyer chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not pretending. I just…I’ve never done anything like this before, you know? I don’t want to screw it up or…read too much into it.”

Rowan shook his head, his grin softening. “Look, Clayton likes you. That much is clear. And honestly, you don’t need to have it all perfect. Just go with it.”

Malik nodded in agreement. “Exactly. Trust yourself. If you feel something, say it. If you want to take the next step, take it. You don’t have to overthink every move. Just be yourself.”

Rowan turned to Malik. “Have you ever seen Clayton with anyone, anywhere in public?”

“Nope. Jeff and I work at Timberline,” Malik said. “I mean lots of guys try to hit on Clayton, but he doesn’t mess around at work.”

“Really? That makes me feel better,” Sawyer said, feeling encouraged.

“You’ve got this, Sawyer. You’re really cute. I saw a lot of guys around here checking you out,” Rowan said.

“Clayton is so patient with me. I slept in his bed.” Sawyer let it slip he had slept in Clayton’s bed. It was bound to come out with him being so proud he could sleep close to the man he cared about.

“That’s a start, a big start.”

“I wore his pajamas.”

“That’s really sexy,” Malik said.

“It was for me. See, the thing is I was raised on a farm in Oregon and was fenced in, so I didn’t get around at all.”

“Fuck, that sucks,” Malik said. “You’re doing great, even through all that shit. How did you get out of there?”

“Long story.”

“We’re all ears. You’re so brave…setting yourself free,” Rowan said.

Sawyer felt so relaxed with them, he felt safe to share his discovery and escape. Not in detail, but enough to get it off his chest. “I found some papers in my ‘so-called’ father’s office when I was snooping around in his desk. He had a huge folder on me. I read it…” He paused to control his emotions. “My entire life was a total lie. I wasn’t even me, not who I thought I was.” he paused again. “I couldn’t stay there a minute more. That very day, I told them I was going to feed the animals, and I did, for the last time. Then I climbed over the fences, cutting myself really bad and ran. I hitchhiked to Stockton. A nice woman saw me sleeping on the grass in the park and took me home. She helped me get a job.”

Both Rowan and Malik hugged him tightly.

“You made it out! You’re one of the lucky ones,” Rowan said.

“That took a lot of courage to set yourself free.”

“None of my past is clear to me. Where do I belong? Why was I there? So many questions. And no damn answers.”

“Have you told Clayton?” Rowan asked.

“No. I tried, but I wasn’t ready.”

“He’ll help you put together everything you want to know.”

“We have escape stories too,” Malik said.

“You do?”

“I grew up in Santa Ana. It’s in Southern California,” Malik said. “We lived in a small apartment that had too many kids. All four of us slept in one bed. So, I left for Los Angeles. I lived on the streets. It wasn’t easy turning tricks to eat. Then Jeff found me. He saved me.”

“Wow, that’s a romantic story,” Sawyer said.

“Yes, it was. Now, we work and live together. I was lucky, too, and you will find the same love we did.”

“Jeff loves you to pieces,” Rowan told Malik.

“Tell him your escape story,” Malik said to Rowan.

“I told him about it.”

“Tell me, again. I love to hear you talk about it.”

“Okay, I lived in Montana. My parents were messed up on drugs. I couldn’t take it, so I took off to Los Angeles to dance. Then Mark bumped into me and it’s been back and forth from Los Angeles to Lodi.”

“Hey, James, our other friend, is coming down here to swim.”

“It’s hot enough to swim.”

Sawyer allowed himself a small smile as he gazed out over the sparkling water, his heartbeat gradually slowing to a steady, comfortable rhythm. The kiss didn’t have to be the final word, just the beginning of whatever came next. For the first time since arriving at camp, that thought didn’t terrify him. It felt…hopeful.