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Everetta

Once again, I found myself amidst the familiar leathered chair surrounded by lanterns adorned with pixie lights. I guess I was back, or to be more precise my subconscious was awake again.

I was growing more unstable with each passing day. I could feel my mind slipping away breaking off bit by bit as if my already shattered soul had splintered further. I clenched my teeth in a desperate attempt to hold myself together.

I had planned for everything before I cast that reincarnation spell; too bad I didn't account for one of the ROYALS to betray me. Though, I'm not even sure if I could call Eli that anymore given what he‘s done.

Basically what happened was that my half-brother, Alexander, was nothing more than a pawn in a game of chess. A twinge of pity surfaced for him, or maybe I was just making up excuses for him as always. I really have to stop doing that. He doesn't deserve any of my sympathies after what he's done. Call me a hypocrite for saying so.

At least I would never endanger my citizens for my own gain.

There were signs in the past of what he planned to do. I won't apologize for not doing something about it. I had found it odd, his strange behavior of not confronting me when he came back after I had killed him the first time, or so I thought I did. But, as I said, he wasn't bothering me back then so I decided to let it be. He had every right to do what he wished to his own court, so long as he didn't involve me.

Except he did involve me.

Now look where I am, trapped in my mind.

I had trusted Alexander, my brother, the one who had killed half his court and fractured his soul, just like I did Eli. Why did he take my memories from my conscious state, I mean- he out of everyone I would have expected to betray me- I shook my head trying to center my thoughts instead of getting trapped in that rabbit hole again. Focus Everetta, focus, don't get lost in your thoughts. Now's not the time to weep about it. As if I would weep about it. I glared at myself for showing any weakness. This was not how you were raised. This is not how a queen is supposed to behave.

I had lowered my guard around them too much. I let the proverbial gate lower and look where it got me. Killed, betrayed, and used. Well, fuck that shit.

Shrugging off the rage boiling in my veins, I centered myself.

I was in the library of my mind, reading through the countless books upon books that couldn't fit in Flynn's laboratory. Interesting fact, it seems I'm able to remember what my conscious state had done during the day. Even if the vice versa couldn't be said about my conscious mind. Unlike what my conscious mind thinks, all she really needs is to use her powers, her memories, and a spell, which she doesn't have. She doesn't need a feather of any sort, especially not from that damned witch. At first, I loved her name, Luna, like the moon, kind of. Then she just had to stab me in the back. Quite literally with a syringe and metaphorically. She took something of mine I could never forgive her for. She hid them, I know she did. I trusted her with them, and she lost them! I'll never forgive her. Never.

Once I remember everything in my conscious mind she'll pay for everything. I'm surprised Eli hadn't killed her yet. After what she's done to him, wait what has she done to him? He's never told me and I have never told him what she stole. Perhaps if I did, maybe he wouldn't be so inclined to think I was merely enraged for the fun of it. Or it could just prove his point better to withhold my memories. I get why, grief, and all that nonsense. Would I have done the same if I was in his shoes? Shadows no. For one that's just fucked up, two, that's just fucked up, and three, it would be his shit to get over. Withholding the trauma would just be prolonging the pain. Clearly, he has no problem doing it to me, by that I mean to my conscious side. I on the other hand am still fucking traumatized as fuck which is why I am not focusing on that shit right now. Magics know if I did I would be stranded here forever. Unfortunately, I don’t have that kind of luxury to waste.

I was already succeeding in trying to distance my conscious self from Eli. Man, how could I have ever even thought of letting him stay in the same room as me? Even if we weren't ever like that in the past, in a relationship with him I mean, that was still just gross, and a total invasion of privacy. I mean he was half my soul, quite literally. It would be like incest. Do you know the biological setbacks that would have?

Half my soul was split in two. One half formed what Eli was, and the other remained within its original host, me. Quite frankly one could say he was my brother from different parents. Which was why I would have never suspected that asshole to lie to me in such a way. It was the whole basis of why I even trusted him in the first place.

Yes, yes fae can not lie, or to be more specific they can't verbally lie. Their actions on the other hand can. For example, Eli's current course of action. I can't believe my other side hasn't seen through his half-truths, his diversions of conversations, his obvious avoidance of topics. Above all that stupid nonsense about being ambassadors of Dracool.

If that conversation he had with the king was the truth about us being ambassadors then, he must have spoken with Alexander at some point.

With how I was trapped here with Alexander being my only companion until recently I could only assume they must be working together. The question is did or did Eli not know he had sentenced me to that torture? I would like to say no, given how lacking Eli is in the schemes department. I have no doubt Alexander was the one to reach out to Eli first. Which means that this whole memory wipe was Alexander's idea. Clenching my hands into tight knots I took a very deep breath in. Calm down Everetta now is not the time to let your emotions get the best of you. I hastily whipped them away almost like batting away an annoying pest. Focus Everetta, focus!

Yet, as I navigated the aisles of my dream library, something shifted. Did the atmosphere suddenly drop like sixty degrees lower? Could Eli have infiltrated my subconscious mind as well? A subtle breeze blew past me carrying the subtle traces of winter. I didn't need the shift in temperature to warn me of the unwelcome presence as a shiver slid across my back. There he was—the boy from the other day. His magic was practically pulsing through the dreamscape. Who exactly was he? Ugh! I am so sick of fae messing with my mind,

“I see you've finally arrived.”

And by the magical why does he sound so familiar?

Approaching the boy cautiously I scanned the margins of books on the shelves. A slight nod was all I was willing to give to show him I knew he was there. Behind my back, however, I was already casting a spell to remove him from my mind. His soft warm smile caused me to frown pausing in my steps as I instinctively curled my lips up, just as warm and heartfelt as his. Wait, wait, hold on why the fuck am I smiling? Do I know him? Like seriously, do I ?

Clearing my throat I reaffirmed my scowl in place.

The questions lingered in my mind, but even if I did remember him in some distant space in my chaotic brain, he still needed to get the fuck out of my mind. I needed to distract him so I could get closer and remove him from my head, "And how exactly did you get here?"

"A bonded can always go into their own bond's mind." His words hung in the air, causing me to halt my prowl toward him.

With a narrowing of my eyes. I scoffed, ya right. Haha! Good one! I saw him, Flynn, my mate, the one who was already out there with my conscious mind and who looked nothing like this hot fae- cause seriously like wow. The guy was hot, what with his long lashes and a perfect light coating of blue to his hair. Not to mention those eyes and cupid bow lips. I mean I get most fae are pretty gorgeous but he was special. Can't say why, I just feel something towards him. It was like a tugging sensation pulling at my heart as corny as that is. But that should only happen with Flynn and-

Thinning my lips at that note I shook the thoughts away. I have Flynn, and he was my wow. I don't need another wow. Not that I'm interested, but that current Flynn, he sure was acting strangely from his past self, more shy- more weird. I don't know anything ‘bout this life's Flynn. He was just rubbing me the wrong way.

"I do apologize for any misconceptions you may believe, but perhaps I didn't make myself clear— Flynn is my only bond. Even if he's a bit standoffish in this life, he still is... I think. Honestly, I'm not sure about how I feel about his personality right now. But even so, one bond, one fae, so you can't be mine and I certainly can't be yours. Therefore, I'll ask again, how on earth did you find your way into my mind?" Cocking a brow I urged him to answer before I blasted him out. Sue me, I was curious, and why the shadows would he think we were bonded. Also, most fae would say mates but I never liked the word, so barbaric don't you think? Flynny always said that, bonded. Maybe it was because he knew I hated the word.

Blinking, I frowned. Was it just a coincidence that he used bonded instead of mates?

Still, I couldn't help but analyze my present-day memories of Flynn. This Flynn was as timid as a trembling bunny staring up at a lion. He lacked the boldness to stand independently. The Flynn I knew was resolute, never stumbling through questions or letting my attention drift away from him. A pang of possessiveness always lingered in his demeanor, but I always just thought it was his being boyfriendy.

I winced at the memories that jolted back. I hadn't even known I'd truly loved him till- Let's not think of that, at least not now. I'll apologize to him when I get back to my conscious body, with all my memories intact, and then if- if he forgives me, then maybe- maybe we could make it past what had happened. Of what I had done. I clenched my fists automatically at the memories of blood, Flynn jumping, and magic. Then golden hair, not sure if it's my hair but just golden strains of something.

A smile graced the mysterious boy's face as he extended a book towards me, confusing me more. I tilted my head down briefly looking at the book, confusion and curiosity clouded my thoughts. In response to my unspoken words, the boy pointed towards one of the open books on the ground by the last shelf near one of the first pictures of us we’d taken, "Page one hundred and twenty-one, paragraphs two to seven, diagrams two and six. It should help with memory loss." He elucidated, the broad metal-framed circular glasses perched on his nose teetering slightly at his small smirk. It wasn't an ' I know everything smirk' . I got the sense he was by no means trying to boast with that grin but that it was simply how he smiled.

Flynny smiled like that.

Reaching out I steadied his glasses, almost instinctively, again with that action. Why do I keep just reacting to this man, with the smiles and now his damn glasses? Am I not in my right mind? Wait, no don't answer that, 'cause I am most definitely not in my right mind. Nor have I ever been but most certainly not now. It's like I've done this millions of times over, fixing his glasses that is. So I most definitely should know him but why can't I remember him? And why the fuck does he remind me of... Flynn.

Just who in the magics is he?

As my gaze returned to the bespectacled figure before me, I dismissed the unsettling notion. No, it couldn't be. Yet, as I tried to summon any recollections of Flynn, however scant they may be, a peculiar incident came to mind- our first encounter, Flynn's reactions towards Eli.

The boy just kept smiling, as if waiting for me to put the pieces together. Suddenly he flickered as if he was fading out of existence, yet he sure as hell didn't seem bothered. "I could just give you the answer, and as much as I would love to, I think it's better for you to figure out the details yourself. For now, though, you're waking up, and I can't be here again anymore. But know that I am trying to get back to you. I love you Everetta. Please if anything remember that." With the last flickers of his warm blue eyes, he blinked out, as I blacked out.

Conscious State

The vibrant hues of dawn painted the horizon as I awoke with a start, my peaceful slumber abruptly disrupted by someone yanking on my foot. "Everetta! You need to get up. It would be unwise and utterly impertinent to let the king wait." His papered elegance as always was not the least bit hindered by the sounds of the birds snoozing. Groaning, I buried my face in the softest pillow ever. It was like sleeping on a cloud. The feathery silk texture could soothe anyone to sleep even if it was covered in drool. Gross, but I did this to myself.

"No, fuck the king. I wanna sleep. It's so fluffy, leave me alone." My words were muffled by the cozy embrace of my makeshift fortress as I snuggled my face deeper into the pillow's warm slightly wet cushioning.

Eli, unmoved by my convincing speech, proceeded to drag me out of bed, “I'll devour all your meat if you don't get up," With a loud thump I felt the just as soft covers of the bed tuck my legs back in.

Wait.

He said what now?!

The threat worked its magic, and I shot up from the bed.

My meat!

I'm sure if they have great pillows here, and might I say again fluffy as fuck ones at that, then they must have great steaks, pork chops, and chickens. Oh, roasted chicken is the best, not that whole stew chicken thing. I can't remember what it's called but, either way, my meat! Wait, you know what would be better: a big-ass giant seared steak. Eek! Wait for me, my delicious meat, mama’s coming! I could already feel the magic enveloping me in cold tingly sensations as my appearance transformed into a picture of elegance.

My once unruly locks transformed into luscious cascades of perfectly curled tendrils. Styled in a way that part of my hair was twisted into an organized braided crown. Nestled amid the waves of curls were petite lilies and sapphires, like tiny celestial fragments strewn through the threads of my hair. Each delicate bloom and precious gem seemed to dance harmoniously together. My hair almost looked enchanted and not the bird's nest I always sport after waking up.

Fitting me into a cool blue sleeveless princess gown adorned with sparkles upon sparkles of sapphires and diamonds. A soft gold-blue embroidery of sorts across the bosom of my chest. I think it's shaped like a little crown or something. It wouldn't really do much good to highlight the area seeing as my melons were not melons. They were more like oranges and apples. I could really go for an orange juice right now. I wonder if they'll have that prepared?

I didn't particularly care for all this extravaganza but it seemed to please Eli. I was just going to comb my hair with magic and let my waves be as wavy as they wanted. Offering his arm to me I took it as we headed into the dining room. How Eli knew it was the dining room I have no idea. Actually, I do, the amount of power trailing to it alone was too great to ignore. Sure not as great as us but well, still great.

"Good afternoon your highnesses," Eli fell into a polite bow, but not too deep. It was just enough that the king wouldn't mistake it for being disrespectful but also not enough to show that Eli thought much of the king. Noting the stares aimed at us I sighed inwardly, I just wanted to eat. Then again the king inviting us to breakfast must have meant negotiations yesterday went well.

Doing my best to curtsy, at least one Eli approved of because let's face it as long as Eli approves it everyone would approve of it. His manners are more elegant than any fairy, fae, or elf. And from the king's nod and the Prince's smile of relief, I assume I did it correctly. The servants scattered to seat us.

After pulling out my seat for me the servant rushed back to his post, standing by the door to no doubt the kitchen perhaps or at least a hall to the kitchen.

"Greetings Your Royal Highnesses." A voice so formal and prissy greeted, her Spring Court accent so pronounced I could pick her out of a whole mass of people. Can't say I don't love how her court rolls their R's. The raven-haired violet girl, Luna, entered lowering her stance to just the height above her waist, a bit too low if Eli's frown was anything to go for. Her bowing so low means she respected the king more than what we showed which I guess Eli doesn't approve of. The king nodded, seeming a bit pleased at the gesture. The prince smiled and we ate. Hmm, she never used to bow that low when Eli was king, the memory flew past my mind before I fought back the small headache it elicited. I smiled trying to hide the wince from scarring my face, to avoid the cold feel that would touch my skin. To avoid Eli's magic on me. Looking over at the Snow Princess seated across from me to the right of her brother. I watched as she elegantly and meticulously cut into her steak. She was so flawless it was like she was chewing down on a salad. No sauces covered the corners of her plump full lips as she bit down bite after bite. Not once did she need the small dabs she would occasionally do with her napkin. She was flawlessly perfect. I blinked hard at my own steak before me. I was so not as neat as she was. Looking back over at her- wait was her plate clean too? Literally, no sauce remained from where those sliced-off pieces of the beef were. It was like a quarter of the plate was just washed as she ate. Was she using glamour magic? A small nudge from Eli told me I was perhaps not as stealthy as I thought I was staring at the princess.

Silence.

So fucking quiet.

Nothing but the clang of gold utensils clacking away at the plates filled the air as we ate. I swear I think you could hear a pin drop.

The food must have been brought in before we arrived to avoid the squeaking of wheels on carts.

"I heard that you were scholars from the fifth land. Quite intriguing since they seemed to have exiled themselves from civilization for some time now. So, you must excuse my abrupt question, but why are you choosing to reach out to us now, after such a long war?" The king looked toward Eli, his firm smile like a vicious wolf ready for the kill.

Chewing off the last bite of his steak, Eli spoke, "I am not quite sure, your highness. I'm not their ruler, nor am I the king of the fifth land, Dracool. Nor as you can see, am I from the fifth land. I am sure your son might have told you so. I have no clue where you heard such outrageous rumors but I can assure you they are just that, rumors. We are simply messengers of the fifth land. We've received a message from their kingdom stating how they wished to gather together with the rulers of each court. For what, I do not know. I apologize for my lack of knowledge, again. All I know is that if I do not convey this message to all the courts my own life would be at risk along with my comrades’ lives as well." Eli didn't seem the slightest bit fazed at the king's question and what Flynn had said before as our cover story.

"Ah yes, but, why must there be three of you?" The king asked, taking a bite of his freshly cut bigger slice of steak. Maybe it was because he was king that he got a bigger piece. When I am Queen of the Summer Court I'll have to make sure my slices are just as big as the king's.

Eli smiled, placing down his fork and knife before dabbing the corners of his mouth for any nonexistent stains. Not that the man's ever had any sauce on his mouth. I mean even when he ate something covered in sauce the man just has a way of not getting it anywhere, on his clothes, on his cheeks, on the corner of his lips. Kind of creepy if you ask me.

"Well, although Dracool has not been very active with the other courts they have been aware of the changing circumstances. Of course, being a king as well, you must have been aware of the increasing shadows of the Spring Court. If I came alone I would have surely died by now, hence I couldn’t be more grateful for my companions." Eli had masked our energy levels to help us fit in more and look like actual ambassadors. Unless the king somehow knew we were bluffing? Speaking of which, how was Eli able to tell his lie?

Ah! A singing pain lanced the back of my mind as I shook it off, plastering a smile on my face.

The king frowned, seeming in thought, before nodding. He didn't know. I looked over at Eli from the corner of my eyes, did he know? "And why is it that two females accompany you and not two other males?"The kings cut into another section of his nicely medium-rare steak. I could see the juicy red juice squeezing out the beef with each slice of the steak knife. So if anything it was the delicious food's fault that I might have been nearly finished with my plate now. I may or may not be chomping down chunks of my own meat into my mouth.

Eli smiled, his chin never quavering as he stared confidently toward the king as if this were all true, “Your Highness, as I have said, I do not come from the ruler of the fifth kingdom as you have seen through my speech. I do not carry the light of the Dragons, nor do any of my companions. I am but a mere messenger and so are my companions. We were all gathered by the ruler of the fifth kingdom as I have mentioned." Eli’s perfectly straight white teeth glimmered in the light of the chandeliers above us. His grin was like a wolf on the hunt.

Silence.

Then booming laughter from the king was like the mighty war cries of a giant as he shook his head in jest, “Haha, well of course. You remind me much of the son I wished I had."

From the corner of my eyes, I could see the small stiffening of Flynn's shoulders. Well, talk about awkward.

Eli smiled, "You humble me far too much, your highness." I rolled my eyes secretly. Through the glint in Eli's eyes, I could see his pride boasting. He was so eating this up. Maybe it was because the king was Eli's actual biological father. What I would give for my own father to have praised me even once in my life . The thought skidded to a halt in my mind as I frowned, something soured the back of my tongue as I tossed that comment into the trash.

Blinking back to the present I ignored the throbbing at the back of my head.

If the king didn't know the true depths of Eli's words he sure was going to have a wide awakening later this month. Eli bit into his steak, swallowed, and smiled all perfect pearly white teeth. A baring of what might soon come, as the king just smiled back as if they were sharing a small secret of their own. Were they? Did they have a secret meeting I didn't know about? Was it yesterday's meeting? No, Luna was there so it couldn't have been a complete secret between the king and Eli. Hey, maybe I could squeeze the info of yesterday's meeting out of Luna. And did he just eat a whole steak without getting anything in between his teeth? I mean come on I normally have several little scraps of meat stuck in between my teeth and sauce covering my lips. Shit! Do I have it now? I looked down at my sauce-stained plate hoping to catch a reflection on the golden china.

After that whole repeat of questioning, the meal passed with little to no discussions. The king and Eli did discuss little things such as mindless bantering about lands and who should get what. Honestly, I didn't care much to listen in.

"That was interesting. How'd you know he wanted to ask you those questions?" I asked, turning toward Eli in the comforts of my new fluffy room. By that I mean I was lying on my nice bed and flipping over to lie back down to face the unblemished ceiling. Eli and I had returned to my room after the meal to get changed.

"Please, every politician is like that. Integrate the new guy, or guests in this case. Truthfully I'm surprised he didn't ask more. I would have grilled the man or woman alive. The first round is always the best, giving the suspect less time to formulate excuses. It's always the same questions just rephrased, they want to see if your answers have changed. If they could poke holes into your story." Eli flipped his hand back and forth in the air as his clothing changed from a formal black suit with black buttons to a more comfortable, or as comfortable as Eli would get, a light blue blouse and a pair of preaches. His chest semi exposed. I could just see the tops of his abs before the blouse covered the remaining bit of his upper regions.

I rolled my eyes at the cooling sensation over my skin and hair alerted me to his magic running over my own body, turning my hair into a crumbling wave of messy curls around my shoulders just as the wind danced across my skin. Now I adorned a silk soft fabric in a cool ice winterberry blue shade. The top half hugged my body outlining my thin waist as the bottom half flowed down my legs with a semi-transparent glittering material. I scowled at the V neckline running almost to my mid-waist.

Too much skin.

"It looks fine. Besides, it's not like you have anything there to expose." Eli rolled his eyes as if reading my thoughts.

I frowned, glaring up at the man. "Fuck you. I do have something there, somewhere." I scowled, not really at the fact that I did have nothing but even so he didn't have to point it out.

Rude!

I mean a girl doesn't have to have boobs to be a girl.

"I'm not saying you're not pretty, you are. You wouldn't be my other half if you weren't."

There or not he didn't need to point it out.

I frowned again. "Fuck you. I am pretty, even if I wasn't your other half, asshole." I spat back because let's be real, that was not a compliment to me at all. If anything it was so he could boast about how pretty he was. Cause I was so hot, maybe not in the chest department but I was pretty in the face department, and lower area of my body. The chest well could use some work, but it wasn't as if I had nothing. I had something, a little, ok maybe not much. I mean, Flynn likes it. I frowned Flynn? The prince, how would I know he liked it? Odd. Why the hell would I care? I smiled as I felt the small pricks of needles jabbing into my skull. The dumbs were going to start beating again anytime now. Why am I having these headaches? Do all fae experience this when they start to remember their past?

Eli rolled his eyes, “Come now, I didn't change your clothes for nothing. Go outside, see the property, get acquainted with it and its servants. And please for lords sake don't do such atrocious things like yesterday." Obviously, he meant to stake out my surroundings and gather any dirty deeds down on the king and hopefully turn his servants against him. And grab myself some more meat. Sure he didn't say that but he meant it. Ya, I'm gonna have a nice saucy steak, again. One can never have too much meat. I'm gonna smear all that sauce on my face. Ya, that sounds good. I nodded to myself confirming my actions for the day.

"Also don't go into the kitchen if you're going to do what I think you're going to do. I don't need to wipe their minds of your face covered in sauce. Just because they're servants doesn't mean you shouldn't mind their presence. They're just as much responsible for spreading rumors and gossip as nobles are."

Eli was staring at me, a warning hidden in his gaze. Ok, was this man reading my thoughts or something? I frowned, scowling at him crossing my arms, "Hmf, you're no fun. Party pooper."

"But, that's not the point, you're not seeing the king in that right?" Casting my eyes up and down his outfit I cocked a brow. I mean even I knew that was a total no, not to go see the king.

Eli scoffed, waving his hands towards the window, “I do recall that the little prince has a schedule for a dueling lesson today. I was hoping to join him." I guess I wasn't going to be the only one scouting stuff out today. Was he going to spy on the prince himself? Wait, how did he know the prince's schedule for today?

"I did my round yesterday after the meeting, unlike a certain some fae I know." He reprimanded me as if reading my thoughts, again. Damn, how does he keep doing that? Hmm, maybe it has something to do with us being besties foreverzies. Wait a minute can't he just tell me what rumor and gossip went around?

"No, I won't tell you what rumors are circulating. First-hand experience is always better than a third-hand account. Besides, there are bound to be some new rumors for today." With one last fiddling of his cuff and a sharp eagle-eyed warning thrown at me, he sighed. “I just wish you would listen to me for once.” It was so silent I almost missed his little muttering before Eli walked out and closed the door to my room.

I frowned, biting the lower corners of my lips. What he said wasn't wrong, yet, for some reason why do I feel like he's keeping me from something or someone? Again, with this feeling why? Shouldn't I trust Eli?

"Follow him." A voice whispered in my head. Again with these disembodied voices, I might be mad, like the crazy type of mad. Maybe the constant banging drums in my head is causing me to go insane. Shit, should I tell-no, no-this voice is right. Maybe- maybe I should just follow him if only to prove that Eli wasn't hiding something from me. Besides, I don't like his magic, it's cold.