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Luc

A s I stood in front of Ava’s bedroom door, I couldn’t shake the notion that I was about to make a huge mistake.

Screw it. I’d wanted some time to talk to her since the incident in the garden. More than that, I missed her like mad.

I took a deep breath and knocked. Footsteps sounded inside, thunder rumbling off in the distance. The door opened and there she was, dressed in flannel pajama pants and a big college sweater, her purple hair tied into a short ponytail.

“Hey.” She didn’t sound good, and I was immediately on high alert.

“Hey. Have a second?”

She nodded, stepping aside and letting me in. Right away, my eyes went to a big suitcase on the bed that was half-full of her things.

“What’s going on here, Ava?”

She turned toward the suitcase, her expression falling. I got the distinct impression that she hadn’t intended for me to see it.

“Shit. God, I’m so braindead right now that I didn’t even think to hide the suitcase.”

“Why would you need to hide it?” I asked. “Why do you even have it out? Are you going on a trip that I don’t know about?”

“Something like that. I’m going back to Seattle.”

For a moment, I wasn’t sure that I’d heard her right. “You’re… what? Does anyone else know about this?”

“Hailey does. And I was going to tell you when I was all packed and ready to go.”

I shut the door behind me, propriety be damned.

“Ava, what’s on your mind? Why do you look so upset?”

“Because I am upset. I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

Before saying a word, I stepped over to the pitcher of water in her room and poured her a glass. The rain, which had been falling since morning, continued to patter upon the window. I handed her the glass, placing my hand on her shoulder and guiding her to sit down. Even that little bit of contact was electric, enough to give me pause for a second.

“Sip this,” I said. “And tell me what’s on your mind.”

I sat down in the chair next to her bed, watching as she slowly brought the glass to her lips and drank. As she swallowed, she held the glass between her knees, giving herself a moment to speak.

“This isn’t working out. I don’t want to be a princess, and even if I did, I’m obviously not the princess my father wants. I’m screwing up left and right, and the more time that goes on, the more I can see that this is all going to end in a huge, huge disaster. I might as well get out of here before I mess it up even further.”

“You’re not going to mess it up. You’re the princess, you were born for this. There’s no doubt in my mind that you’ll turn this all around.”

“What if I don’t want to turn it all around?”

“You won’t even try?” I asked her.

“Luc, you can’t possibly need me to tell you that my father finding out about what we’ve been doing is the worst thing that could happen.”

I said nothing, knowing the truth in her words.

“I don’t regret it at all, and I’m going to miss you like crazy.” She smiled, the first bit of happiness I’d seen on her face since the start of our conversation. “Now that I think about it, you’re the best part of this whole debacle. I hope that means something to you.”

“It does. You have no idea.” I watched her for a moment, her eyes downcast once more. “You’re serious about this, aren’t you? You really want to go back to the States?”

She nodded. “I don’t see what else I can do. I came here, gave this all an honest shot. But with every single day that passes, it becomes more and more obvious that this isn’t where I’m supposed to be.” She smiled softly. “I talked to Hailey this morning, and just hearing all the sounds and commotion of the truck in the background was enough to make me homesick. That’s where I’m supposed to be, not here. Seattle is home, not Edoria.”

I sat back, giving the matter some thought. There wasn’t a chance in hell I was going to let her leave without trying, at least once, to talk her out of it. However, I could sense that wasn’t the time to do it.

Instead, something else occurred to me.

“If you’re going to leave, can I at least tell you a little more about your mother?”

“My mom?”

“Yes. I figure that while you’re still here you should take the opportunity to learn more about her. Not to mention that, well, you don’t know the truth about everything. And you have a right to know.”

“Please. Whatever you know, I want to hear it.”

“Of course, but some of this might be a little tough to swallow.”

She said nothing, her expression one of yearning. I cleared my throat and began.

“Your mother and I… we knew each other before she and your father met.”

Ava’s eyes lit up. “Are you serious? How?”

“We both ran in the same circles, both went to the same university, both majored in literature. Your mother was brilliant if you didn’t know. And had a taste for books like, well, like me.”

Ava said nothing, a warm smile on her face.

“We did a lot of growing up together, dreamed of our futures together. Your mother wanted nothing more than to open a little bookshop in Old Town—a place on the corner where one could read and sip coffee and watch the world go by. And eventually… one of us fell in love with the other.”

An expression of confusion took hold.

“What?”

“I loved your mother. Deeply.”

Ava gasped. “Really?”

“Really. I loved her deeply, quietly, for years. I know that I should’ve told her, but I was so young back then, worried that I might say the wrong thing and lose her forever. So, I kept it to myself. The thing about being that young is that you think you have all the time in the world, you know? Thought one day the stars would line up and there’d be a perfect night when I’d be able to share with Analise how I felt.”

She regarded me with wide eyes, her mouth opened a bit. As I paused to catch my breath, I realized that I’d never uttered so much as a single word of that to anyone ever in my life.

“You loved my mom.” Her shocked expression turned into a warm smile.

“This must be so strange for you to hear.”

She shook her head. “No. I mean, it is. But I like hearing it. It… I don’t know, makes me feel connected to her.”

“Then you want me to go on?”

“I do.”

“Well, turns out I didn’t have all the time in the world. Not to mention that, for all of our commonalities, there was one difference between us. A difference so important that it meant our destinies would never join because she had noble blood. Your mother was the daughter of a minor noble, one whose house had fallen on hard times. But your father’s family, always on the lookout for a suitable bride, found her and decided that she’d be a perfect match for Alaric.

“It was around this time that I gained my position at the palace. Your father needed a body man, and your mother was happy to recommend me. At the time, I was eager to take the position. After all, it meant that I’d be able to be closer to Analise.”

My stomach tensed as I prepared to tell the next part of the story. “Your mother, before the marriage, had thought the whole business of royal life to be silly. And why not? Her family was only loosely connected to Edoria’s nobility. Aside from that, she was as normal as they came. When she married your father, however, she slowly began to fall for the man.”

“I know this is going to sound terrible,” Ava said. “But… what did she see in him?”

I chuckled. “Your father, how he is now, isn’t the man he was back then. Young King Alaric was kind and charming, what some might call dashing even. He cared for art and poetry, and always encouraged your mother to pursue her desires to help the less fortunate.”

She blinked hard, shaking her head. “Wait, you’re talking about my father. As in, the guy who I haven’t seen smile a single time since I’ve been here? The one who only checks on me to make sure that I’m being diligent about my fish knife studies?”

“The very same. Your father loved the royal life, loved the pageantry and the grandeur and all the rest. He loved balls and grand dinners and spending time with the royal court. In fact, he began to love it too much.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, when you’re a young, handsome king, married or not, every woman in the kingdom secretly imagines being with you. Alaric began to indulge as a royal, and one of his most favorite indulgences was of the many women who would do anything for a chance to be close to their king.”

Anger flashed on her face as she realized what I meant. “You’re kidding me. He cheated on my mom?”

Tension took hold. I’d already betrayed the king’s trust once by sleeping with Ava, and there I was about to do it all over again by revealing his sordid history.

“He did. The first time it happened, the king was wracked with guilt. He went to your mother and told her everything, begged for her forgiveness. She gave it to him, understanding that resisting the temptations of a king was much to ask of any young man. Then it happened again and again, your father deciding that he didn’t need your mother’s forgiveness if he simply kept it all from her.”

“He lied.” Her eyes burned with anger.

“Many lies by omission. As his closest confidant, I saw it happen over and over, less shame taking hold each time he brought a new woman into his bed. Analise was no fool. She’d been kind enough to offer her forgiveness after the first time, but it didn’t take long for her to realize that your father’s number one hobby had become bedding half the women in Edoria.”

Another flash of her eyes, this time one of realization.

“ That’s why she left.”

I nodded. “When she learned she was pregnant with you, your mother had hoped that impending fatherhood might be the thing to calm Alaric down. For a time, he stopped. Things became normal in the palace once more. Your mother’s mood improved, and we began to wonder if your arrival would cause your father to change his ways for good.”

“Let me guess, it didn’t,” she predicted.

“No, it didn’t. He’d been faithful throughout the pregnancy, but when you were very young, your mother found out that he’d once again been cheating. That was it for her—she could suffer the indignity alone but raising you in a home like that was unthinkable.”

“So, she left? How did she pull that off? I mean, it can’t be easy for a queen to flee her kingdom, right?”

“I helped.”

A small smile spread across her face. “You did?”

“You sound surprised.”

“I don’t know. I mean, it’s obvious that you’re a good guy and that you cared deeply about my mom. It’s just… you loved her, right? So, you helped her even after she married someone else?”

“It sounds to me like you just answered your own question. Yes, I loved your mother. When she married your father, it hurt like hell. But the love didn’t go away. It… changed, turned into a different kind of love, more of a respectful friendship. When your mother asked for my help, there was no hesitation.”

She smiled warmly, not saying a word.

I cleared my throat and went on. “Anyway, I helped her find a new identity for both of you, helped you both get out of the country. And when she left… it was one of the hardest days of my life. We couldn’t simply stay in touch, of course. Not to mention that this was over twenty-five years ago; not like I could find an iPhone and check in on her social media.”

“So, you gave up ever seeing her again just to help her?”

“Of course. What else would someone who cared about her do?”

She took my hand and squeezed it, the warm smile still on her face. “And what about my father? How did he take it?”

“Believe it or not, he seemed to accept it. He wasn’t happy, make no mistake. But it was as if a part of him realized that he didn’t deserve your mother. And ironically enough, her leaving was the thing that finally whipped his ass into shape. He cut out the womanizing and focused on the kingdom. When people asked where the queen went, he simply said that she abdicated, and that it was a private matter.”

She shook her head.

“I just can’t believe you did all of that for her.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I didn’t just do it for her; I did it for both of you.”