Page 111 of Rope Me In
“But it’s not anymore?” Gavin finishes for me.
I meet his green eyes again. “It’s complicated.”
“Everything always is, little brother. That’s life.”
I let out a sad chuckle. “Yes, that’s life.”
Gavin sighs. “I think it’s a good idea.”
“You do?” I wasn’t sure how he’d react, but this is going better than I expected. He nods, though I can see he wants to say something else. “What is it?”
Gavin scratches Willy behind the ear before answering. “When you said at dinner that you didn’t want the land, thatit was mine and Blake’s now, did you already know you wanted to leave?”
I puff out a breath through my lips. “Traveling with Presley wasn’t an option yet, but I’ve been thinking about it for a bit now.” I look around once more at the plains and pastures, at the horse I love so much. “But Gav, I think I need the space, some room to grow and breathe. I think you need it, too. But I know it might not seem fair to you because you were always the one who wanted to leave.”
Gavin turns his gaze to Blake in the distance, her head tossed back in laughter. The ghost of a smile plays at his lips as he turns back to me. “It’s not what I want anymore. At least not in the same way. Blake and I have dreams, but our families and businesses are here. We enjoy what we’re building together. Yes, someday we want to travel a bit, but we’re happy.”
I bow my head, thinking about how much things have changed. I never would’ve thought he’d say those words. With another glance at Presley, I can’t help but wonder where I would be if she hadn’t come to Night Hawk, if she hadn’t been brave enough to walk away from her situation. I’m so glad she did.
Itching to get back to her, I step away from Willy and start walking again. Gavin falls in step easily beside me.
“It’s funny,” I say. “We’ve kind of traded places.”
“Yeah, I guess we have.”
“But I’m serious, Gavin. I’ll find someone to replace me and Presley when we’re not here. And when you want to travel, Presley and I can cover you when she’s not playing a gig—”
“Kade.” Gavin stops my rambling. “I told you—whatever you need, I’m going to support you. We’ll figure out ranch coverage, alright? Don’t worry about it.”
“I just want you to know I’m not leaving you, that you don’t have to do this alone, either, big brother.”
“I won’t be alone—I’ve got Blake, Gran, and Momma. And like you said, you’ll be back. You’re too much of a country bumpkin to stay in the city for long.”
I chuckle. “Okay, you’re probably right about that. Though I guess I’ll figure that out for myself.”
Gavin puts his hand on the back of my neck like Dad used to do after a talk. The weight of it has a ball forming in my throat.
“Dad would be proud of you.I’mproud of you.”
“You don’t have to lie to me. You know I don’t like that.”
Gavin stops us again. “I want you to listen to me, Kade.” He takes a breath and looks me dead in the eye. “I’ve been a shit brother to you. I’ve lied to you, to our family. And while I can’t take it back, I can tell you I’m sorry. And I can tell you that I’m not lying to you now. I’m proud of you, of the man you’re becoming. You’re stronger than me, stronger than Dad ever was. You’re getting help, and that’s more than most people can say. It’s more than I can say.”
My mouth goes dry, and I look into my brother’s tired eyes. I place my hand over his on my shoulder. “Are you okay, Gav?”
He lets out a shuddering breath, and my chest smarts. “I’ve been having nightmares. Blake has, too. I thought they would get better the longer we got away from the accident, but—”
“Gav,” I say, my brain putting together what he’s saying. “You’ve been having nightmares about my accident?”
He nods. “Like I said, Kade: I can’t lose you.”
Water fills my eyes, and I hug my brother again. “You won’t lose me. You won’t. Not if I can help it.”
Gavin pulls back and keeps eye contact with me. I can’t help but feel guilty that I never realized how hard that night was on him. I’ve been selfish and an asshole. I see that now.
“I’m holding you to that.” His voice is tight as he chokes back tears.
“You can talk to me, Gavin, if you want. I can’t promise we won’t fight or have our moments, but I’m here for you. And I’ve got a long list of headshrinkers now, if you need one.” I grin in an attempt to lighten the mood.
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